The 101 Rules of Conduct for SKATE TRASH Members.

    1. All members must commit the rules to memory.
    2. SKATE TRASH will skate with anyone.
    3. Meeting times will posted at all times on the bulletin board in the club house.
    4. All officers will be elected by a secret ballot.
    5. You must have an official SKATE TRASH name, but you don't need to know it.
    6. Dues are payable on the 32nd of each month.
    7. The Treasurer is responsible for all dues.
    8. The Secretary is in charge of notes.
    9. The President will be present.
    10. The Vice-President will play golf.
    11. A pop quiz on the SKATE TRASH rules may be given at any time.
    12. The SKATE TRASH power sign is accomplished by clenching your foot with your skates on - until the front and back wheels touch.
    13. The official SKATE TRASH motto is "Too Cool To Care".
    14. There can be no designated leader.
    15. No whining allowed.
    16. No trashholes allowed.
    17. There will be no long rules.
    18. SKATE TRASH members who, while wearing a Radiant Rollers wristband, commit any infraction of the law or common sense, must gnaw off their wrist to ensure the wristband is not noticed by a pursuing police ossifer, security guard or parking garage attendant, lest they bring disrespect, scorn or public ridicule upon the lofty aforementioned organization.
    19. Conventional Skater Rule: Bladers must always ride in the back of any vehicle while being transported from one skate to another. Blader Interpretation: Bladers are superior to conventional skaters and therefore are afforded the right to be chauffeured around.
    20. Blader Rule: All conventional skaters must yield to bladers. Conventional Interpretation: Most bladers are out of control and don't know how to stop their skates.
    21. Whining is allowed when the reason for the whining has been discussed by all members present and is voted on by said members to be a legitimate reason for so doing. (Scary Sherry maintains her right to whine).
    22. You must know and be able to execute the SKATE TRASH salute.
    23. The official SKATE TRASH salute is accomplish by skating heel to heel, while performing a "Benny Hill Salute" with the right hand (of course the left hand is also acceptable).
    24. If you find yourself in anything other than an upright position you may fallen or you may be skating upside down - correct this as soon as possible.
    25. TRASH Rash will not be recognized unless a picture of said rash is submitted to the committee.
    26. All TRASH rashes will be judged and reviewed by the committee at the end of each calendar year.
    27. Judging of TRASH rashes will based on time lost skating, blood loss, size, length and depth.
    28. The committee will submit 10 finalists which will be judged by Applause-O-Meter and the winner will receive an all expense paid trip to the Emergency Room at the hospital of their choice.
    29. This rule won't fit in this spot.
    30. See rule number 47.
    31. If you ignored rule number 30 before you went to rule number 47, go back to rule number 30. If you followed the rules and came here from rule number 38 then ignore rule number 30.
    32. All SKATE TRASH rules must have a number.
    33. All numbers must have a SKATE TRASH rule.
    34. Any SKATE TRASH rule number can be changed at any time.
    35. SKATE TRASH never stays to the right.
    36. All SKATE TRASH rules are meant to be broken.
    37. There are no rules.
    38. See rule number 31.
    39. There will be no officers.
    40. SKATE TRASH must be prepared to skate at all times.
    41. SKATE TRASH are human beings.
    42. SKATE TRASH colors are black and blue.
    43. SKATE TRASH must always skate alone, unless in the company of others.
    44. SKATE TRASH must always keep their mustache neatly trimmed (men and women).
    45. SKATE TRASH never falls.
    46. If SKATE TRASH falls no one will acknowledge it.
    47. See rule number 72.
    48. Once you become a SKATE TRASH member, you cannot be dismembered for any reason.
    49. Any member attempting to discover the location of the secret ballot will be dismembered.
    50. Your SKATE TRASH T-shirt must be worn at all times, unless you don't have it on.
    51. If your SKATE TRASH T-shirt touches the ground it must be burned.
    52. You cannot wipe your butt with a SKATE TRASH T-shirt unless there's no toilet paper available.
    53. SKATE TRASH must be 21 years old (ID required).
    54. Minors are exempt from rule number 53.
    55. SKATE TRASH never pays their membership dues.
    56. No SKATE TRASH rules are to be written down.
    57. SKATE TRASH will not have a bulletin board or a club house.
    58. Your SKATE TRASH manual must be carried at all times, unless you don't have it with you.
    59. SKATE TRASH T-shirts must be worn at all meetings.
    60. Meeting times will be announced by the president at all meetings.
    61. The Trashmaster, no matter what he says, does not know all the rules.
    62. No cup hogging allowed.
    63. Kicking the cup should not be played in a crowd, even though it is more fun.
    64. If you are playing kick the cup in a crowd, and a pedestrian (flat foot) kicks the cup, it is still in play.
    65. All flatfoots shall receive 2 points if they kick the cup (please inform them in a cheerful manner).
    66. While playing kick the cup, 2 points are earned when the cup passes through another skaters feet.
    67. Kicking the cup will only be played in designated areas, and at designated times, unless you happen upon a cup.
    68. Kicking TRASH can be done at any time.
    69. Is rule number 69.
    70. Shut up and skate.
    71. Bladers cannot get out of line.
    72. See rule number 38.
    73. SKATE TRASH does it on the trail.
    74. Incumbents cannot be re-elected.
    75. Skate this!!!
    76. Skate or die.
    77. There will be no repeat rules.
    78. There will be no repeat rules.
    79. SKATE TRASH does it in the park.
    80. Ignorance stupidity and dumb acts will earn you a "DUUUH!!!".
    81. SKATE TRASH is not allowed to eat while skating, unless they are hungry.
    82. Don't skate in a buffalo herd unless you are in Buffalo.
    83. All Buffalo skaters will be herd.
    84. Don't screw with the person writing down the SKATE TRASH rules. (This is a whining rule)
    85. SKATE TRASH never swims with their skates on.
    86. SKATE TRASH never gets lost.
    87. SKATE TRASH never asks for directions.
    88. Otay Hotay (this was Trashmasters idea of a rule).
    89. SKATE TRASH does it in the street.
    90. Don't skate between any headlights, unless it's 2 motorcycles.
    91. You can be a Road Roller and SKATE TRASH, but you can't be SKATE TRASH and a Road Roller, unless you're a member of both.
    92. Anyone reading the SKATE TRASH rules will be dis-membered.
    93. Any SKATE TRASH rule that makes sense will be rewritten.
    94. All SKATE TRASH rules are meant to be broken.
    95. SKATE TRASH rules are not to be analyzed, criticized, or politicized.
    96. There are too many rules.
    97. The only way to get a SKATE TRASH manual is to buy a SKATE TRASH T-shirt.
    98. There will be no ridiculous, contradictory, or otherwise stupid rules.
    99. We picked this number for a special rule so that the number would be easy to remember, but before we could write it down, we forgot what the special rule was supposed to be… (feel free to insert your own rule here).
    100. Disregard all rules.
    101. There can be no more than 100 rules.
    102. There will never be any more rules (unless a good one comes along).
    103. OOPS!!!

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