Bowling Humor
Fun things to do at a bowling
alley
- Every time you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU JERKS!"
Continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
- When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen,
start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
- Explain to the owner how your game is "All sorts
of messed up" due to platetechtonics, then lose him in lingo. Demand compensation.
- Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
- Wear golf shoes
- Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices
- Make lewd and graphic references to your "ball".
Works well on Senior Ladies night
- Play bocci with extra lane balls
- Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start
screaming about Platetechtonics again
- Every ten minutes run the entire length of the
building beating your own head and speaking in tongues, then sit down as if
nothing happened
- Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting
- Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky
side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
- Hide behind the pins, stick your head up laughing
hysterically
- Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team
of sweepers
- Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner
the trash compactor is busted
- Make your presence known by arranging pentagrams
out of candles on every lane except yours
- Root for the other team - bring banners
- Make fun of your team - bring lettuce
- Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
- Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs
scream STEEEEEERIKE
- Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team
pray to it.
- Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
- Rent all the shoes, eat them
- Blatently under-score yourself, then accuse the
other team of cheating
- When an opponent is on his backswing, race up
and take his ball and run home.
- If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but
gutterballs and blame platetechtonics
- Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your
team, trip everyone
- Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
- SuperGlue police whistles to the hand-dryers.
Leave town
- Walk around asking people why they are here. Do
this the whole night
- Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make
an announcement, then expound on the sins of bowling
- Name your ball something like "KILLER". Openly
boast to everyone how great you are, throw like a wimp, do this all night
- Sit in your lane and heckle others with a bullhorn.
- Bring a dartgun. Be inventive.
- Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone
to ref.
- Run around sprinkling "magic fairy dust" on everyone's
balls
- Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night. Don't even
have a Entrance Fee, advertise it like crazy using every mass media known
to man, make the 3rd Prize $10,000 and a Porsche, the 2nd Prize $5,000 and
a trip to Europe and 1st Prize a coffee mug. Then sit back a watch the fights.
Leave
- Hand out Pamphlets on Platetechtonics
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