ABC's of U.S. Soccer

A) A-League. Our Second Division, which is roughly similar to watching a group of 10 year-old Cuban kids playing football in the street.
B) Burn. Two things that produce the same effect for me...Dallas Burn, and that Burn that I picked up in a Mexican border town. (cost me about 5 dollars.)
C) Columbus Crew. Support or die.
D) Diego Maradonna. Some day soon, he'll finally get old and fat enough to play here. Columbus still won't get him.
E) Eddie Pope. US National / DC United defender, and owner of the biggest lips I have ever seen.
F) Fitzgerald...Tom Fitzgerald, coach our of beloved Crew. The man.
G) Girls. Only girls play soccer well in this country.
H) Harkes. John Harkes. Leader of our National side. (back in the day, now he's been exposed for the flip-boy he really is.)
I) Interesting. Well, not really, but it beats baseball.
J) Jacking it. Many times, I have realized that I would rather be at home jacking it, instead of watch this whole mess over here. (Please, somebody sell the Gunners to Columbus.)
K) Klinnsman. Where in the hell is Jurgen? I thought he was a done deal.
L) Losers. Everyone is a loser. The teams, the players, and especially the fans.
M) Midnight Riders. A New England support group that gives me something that can only be best desribed as "The runs".
N) New York / New Jersey Metrostars. Sad name, sad place, REALLY sad team.
O) Ohio Stadium. Where the Crew play, and one of the largest stadiums in America. (98,000)
P) Pink. The color of New York GK Tony Meola's underwear. (matching bra, naturally.)
Q) Queens. Everyone on the New England squad has to be one.
R) Rochester Raging Rhinos. A team that should be promoted to MLS, and New England should be sent down.
S) Sucks. Everyone besides Columbus, really sucks.
T) Tony Meola. Transvestite. Any questions?
U) Underpaid. As a fan, I feel that I am underpaid for going to these games.
V) Virgin. (see T and P)
W) Wasted 11 dollars. Sound familar fans?
X) Uhhh...What starts which X?
Y) Y? Y am I here?
Z) Z-SIDE BABY!