Dear Fellow Supporters,
Last Friday night Oldham extended their unbeaten league run to 6 games with a sturdy performance in a 1-1 draw at TRANMERE ROVERS. Although not a classic game the team did sufficient to enable The Chairman to taste the sweet nectar yet AGAIN. It's getting to be a habit! The result still leaves the boys in an uncomfortable position as the enclosed standings will confirm. All is not lost and when the injuries are over with they should start to climb.

NATIONWIDE LEAGUE DIVISION ONE

	

			P	W	D	L	F	A	Pts
	Bolton		16	11	4	1	37	20	37
	Norwich		16	9	4	3	25	14	31
	Crystal Palace	16	8	6	2	36	13	30
	Barnsley	15	7	6	2	27	18	27
	Wolverhampton	17	7	5	5	22     	17	26
	Sheff Utd.	14	7	4	3	29	16	25
	Tranmere	17	7	4	6	25	20	25
	Swindon		16	7	2	7	24	19     	23
	Port Vale	18	5	8	5	17	20	23
	Oxford Utd.	16	6	4	6	20	13     	22
	QPR		17	5	7	5	20	21	22
	Huddersfield	16	5	5	6	20	24	20
	Portsmouth	19	5      	5	8	20	24     	20
	West Brom	16	4	8	4	19	23	20
	Southend	18	4	8	6	18	28     	20
	Ipswich		17	4	7	6	21     	24	19
	Man City	15	6	1	8	16	21     	19
	Reading		16	5	3	8	19     	27     	18
	Birmingham	14	4	5	5	15     	17    	17
	Charlton	14	5	2	7	14	21     	17
	Oldham		18	3	6	9	19     	23     	15
	Bradford	18	3	5	10     	14     	32     	14
   	Grimsby		17	3	4	10	18	36	13

The Chairman.

The collection of gifts for the Christmas Draw is starting to improve. At the moment the prizes will be drawn at the following times at the last meeting before Christmas:

3-30 4/5 unit
3-45 One Unit
4-00 One 8oz. can Sockeye salmon
4-15 The Chairman Eats
4-30 Porcelain Becks beer mug (1 pt)
4-45 One 8oz. can Sockeye salmon
5-00 Sunday Brunch for two at the Sheraton ($35 value)
5-15 One Tranmere Rovers unit
5-30 A beer bell
5-45 One 8oz. can Sockeye salmon
6-00 Zoltrix Fax Modem
6-15 One 8oz. can Sockeye salmon
6-30 Porcelain Becks beer mug (1 Ltr.)
6-45 One unit

Ernie will be doing all the draws.

I feel honoured that the Editor has allowed me to reach the pinnacle in editorial achievements - a full frontal spread in the LSC programme. Now about the pub .... The Globe Inn (there were three Globe pubs in Oldham), 14, Huddersfield Road, was fully licenced in 1825. Jeremiah Green kept the establishment for the first 10 years before numerous other inhabitants took the helm. It was fully modernised in 1977 later to become an O.B. house. The Tudor Chippy, a pretentious little pudding shop, is just lower down the road than the transport cafe frequented every morning by my workforce, in the days of old when we used to sup in the Hope (see previous PIHSI). Many's the time we slipped in there for the odd bacon 'butty' or buttered doorstop. I never was a regular supper at the Globe but I did occasionally call in there for the odd pint when on a pub crawl in the area. That qualifies it for meritous mention.

I. Will B. Drunk

When a long serving Latics supporter fails from grace and needs other incomes to supplement his income, some stoop to an all time low and sell programmes, team shirts, memorabilia etc. from other football teams (who shall be nameless - but they cost 30 quid) and it's not UMBRO. Our intrepid entrepreneur took to invention and came up with a totally useless artefact which takes up your valuable space which is needed in all garden sheds. You could buy a useful tool - but why bother when you can take the Macgregor tool butler and stick IT in the ground instead of your shovel. Enough said........ see # 7 for trade discounts. This week only - Buy two and get one free. The advantage of this offer is that you can stick one butler in the garden and rest the other two up against it. Think of all the back breaking effort saved.

Robert Macgregor designed this tool butler when he was 90 because he was tired of constantly stooping to pick up rakes, hoes and shovels when working in his garden. When he brought us this simple but very effective design four years later, he did not claim it as the cause of his longevity but, like chicken soup, it hadn't hurt. It is easily installed (just step on the prong supports to push it into the ground) and will hold a half dozen tools upright out of the dirt and ready to hand. The two curved arms defeat the forces of gravity while keeping your tools easily accessible. All-steel construction with a durable powder epoxy paint coating. 36' overall.

PC975 The Macgregor Tool Butler $12.95

In an attempt to provide for all types and upset no-one we are including the following poem written by a star struck 14 year old Junior Latics Member who is a female of the opposite sex.

Wimmin on Top - By Chantelle

its ard bein a wumman in a mans mans wurld
but its reel bluddi tortur for a footi mad girl
lads fink its so funni
and ther jokes never stop
its always the same
- men on top

for instans.
they tek the Mick - the lads at skool -
coz i kant figur owt the offside rule
and the mokkeri gose even deepur
wen they ask me: - "wots a sweepur"?
(well, i thote they were on about missis brady
........ the skool cleening lady!)
and they fall abowt laffin, wen i tri to play
but its not blummin easy wiv theez bumps in the way.
they fink its so funni
i tell them to stop
but its always the same
- men on top

ang on a sec ... ive just ad a thote
abowt them showvanist pigs
- ow menni of them will grow up to be
marrid to rian giggs?
none of them - yeh, thats right!
(but thers a bluddi gud chance that i just mite
(well, at leest a snog or 2))

so wen they next fink itne funni
and ther barring dont stop
i wont care
coz ime a wumman on top!

I am an Englishman that has taken on himself a personal crusade to respond to comments regarding the use of the "American" word for football. I have seen them over and over again on the worldwide computer news network, USENET, in its rec. sport. soccer newsgroup where I have been an active contributor for several years. To love the game of football is to love it's rich history also. It particularly disturbs me when modern fans of the game less conversed in this history do not fully understand that the word "soccer" is an English, - not - American word derived from the second syllable of the word "association".

"Soccer" was originally called "association football" during the formation of the Football Association in England in the 1860s. This was to maintain a distinction from the other football game being organised in England at the same time based on the handling codes, whilst Association Football conformed to the dribbling codes. The other football came to be known as "rugby" football, named after the Rugby School in England, where it is said that a certain young student, William Webb Ellis, picked up the ball in his hands during an association football match and ran with it over the goal line. Master Ellis asked his teacher, who was refereeing, if that was a goal. The reply was, "No, but it was a jolly good "try", which is where one of the rugby scoring terms comes from. Rugby Union was formally organised by 1871, but suffered another split by 1893 when Rugby League was formed. I digress.

Near the end of 1863, Charles Wreford-Brown, who later became a notable official of the Football Association, was asked by some ffiends at Oxford whether he cared to join them for a game of "rugger" (rugby). He is said to have refused, preferring instead to go for a game of "soccer" - a play on the word "association". The name caught on. English public schoolboys love to nickname things, then as much as now. The tendency is to add "er" to the end of many words. Rugby [Union] Football became "rugby", and then "rugger". Association Football was better know as "assoccer" and naturally evolved into "soccer" which is much easier for a schoolboy to say... Therefore, the word "soccer" has been used in the mother country of all football-type games since at least the mid- 19th century. The word "football", however, was more descriptive of the game (i.e., kicking a ball with the feet!) and was the term more frequently used.

The British exported the game, so naturally the word "football" was the name mostly used all over the world. In recent decades it has been noted that the word "soccer" is apparently increasing in usage. The word "football" still appears in formal designations, however, in for example, Federation Intemationale de Football Association (FIFA). The word "soccer" is more commonly used in several countries around the world that play other forms of football. When Australians say "football", they mean Australian Rules football instead [Well in southern states they do, in the north they mean Rugby League]. The Irish have Gaelic football. In the USA and Canada, of course, there is Gridiron football. Rugby Union, Rugby League, Australian Rules, Gaelic, American and Canadian football all owe their roots to Association football. With the exception of Gaelic Football, they all use an ovoid shaped ball. None is as popular around the world as Association football. "Football" is the world standard name for "soccer". I always used the word "football" (and still do, wherever I can). The word "soccer", however, is engrained into the origins of the modem game of association football as much as any other aspect of The Game much of the world enjoys today.

Finally, it must be remembered that British football, both association and rugby, had been organised in the 19th century by people in the upper echelons of the English educational system, from "exotic" schools, colleges and universities as Harrow, Eton, Oxford and Cambridge, just for starters, As I stated earlier, students of the Victorian era, as much as now, loved nicknames and "soccer" and "rugger" were the accepted everyday names for those people. These were sports for gentlemen. When the games were taken up by those less fortunate enough to have received the higher (and more expensive) levels of education the game of soccer became very popular with the masses. Rugger, less so. As the rules became increasingly divergent between the two sports, soccer became the people's sport and rugger remained more of a "gentleman's" game. Ever heard the phrase, "Soccer is a gentleman's game played by ruffians and Rugby is a ruffian's game played by gentlemen"?

So "soccer" was a fanciful, gentleman's name for the sport. The mere, common man started to call it "football" for the obvious reason that it's a game about a ball kicked with the foot. The game, and the word, was exported by British workers, students and merchant and naval seamen all over the world in the latter 19th and early 20th century... and the name, and the game, blossomed.

I prefer to call it "footy" myself.
Yours in football,
Garry Archer

Editors note - I'm glad we cleared that one up.

Ian Ormondroyd, a big name player (well it has 13 letters), is in his second spell at the club. The 6'-5" beanpole only scored one goal when he was last at Boundary Park nine years ago. That season they just missed out on promotion in the first season of the play-off system. in his second spell he has been responsible for scoring important goals to help in Athletics recent turn around in fortune. He is that tall he wouldn't fit on the front page so he becomes the first ever back page front page cover photo. The editor decided to put a picture of a pub on the front cover (see Mr. Drunk's article).

Dear Editor,

So, apathy rules eh? but who cares anyway. I have to report that I've actually stopped going to the games now. Not because I am one of the many 'fair weather supporters'.... 1 used to travel to the woolly wastelands of the likes of Carlisle on wet Tuesday nights. No, it's all to do with style of play, we just haven't got any, style that is. Only trouble is, you soon get bored with watching Gary Cooper re-runs on the box on a Saturday afternoon, and the feet are itching once more to get out into the pouring rain and cheer somebody on .... even if it's only Dobcross under eleven's (they at least seem to play to some sort of a system).

However, the much awaited fixture is rapidly approaching, and I expect a big Latics turn out on Tuesday 19th as Rochdale entertain Scarborough. I haven't looked forward as much to a fixture since Latics played Sheff Wednesday for the then 2nd Div. championship It just shows how times have changed!

So come on, get yer Yorkshire phrase books out and I'll see you in the Scarboro end...........free cup of Bovril to every fan sporting an 'Andy Ritchie appreciation Society Tee shirt!’

Best Regards,
Pete Best.

Dear Pete,

It is a sad state of affairs and I have every sympathy with your plight but some of us are too far away, and would relish the chance to witness the current rubbish being dished out at the moment. Come on you blues The Editor

As a long time Latics fan, (albeit since 1979 in Canada) I am "gutted" to see the latest results of MY TEAM ------- To see Stott get a pay raise!!! and Lee Richardson bitten by a dog on his FINGER ??????? are the latest "excuses" What the heck is happenings It is getting real hard to defend the Latics here in Canada against ANY other team. ls there anything we "few" can do over here ??? Please advise!! yours

TONY BUTTERWORTH

Dear Tony,
Join the club
The Editor

Continuing our successful article on the team we don't mention we are compelled to further extol the infamous of Mad Nut. (An anagram)

How many Man. Utd. fans does it take to change a light bulb? (1)
540,001. That's one to change it, 40,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit! In fact, it could be argued 540,002, as someone will have to compare the light bulb to George Best.

A new red and white Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called the "laughing stock”

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Man.Utd. are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive".

Why is Peter Schermeical like a jigsaw?
They both go to pieces in the box.

A man walking his three-legged dog past Old Trafford finds a lamp which he picks up and removes the cork. Out pops a genie.
Genie: Thank you for releasing me from the lamp, O' Master. I have the power to grant you one
wish - anything you desire.
Man.. Can you make my dog win Crufts?
Genie. What, with only three legs? Wish again!
Man: OK, can you arrange for Man Utd to win the European Cup?
Genie: Let's have a look at that dog again!

Eric Cantona has been sentenced to 15 hours community service. Does that means he has to play ten games for Tranmere Rovers!

How many United fans does it take to change a lightbulb? (2)
Who cares? As long as the lightbulb is changed every 3 months, costs 30 quid and comes in a different colour.