Volume 4 Number 3 - 27th. November 1998

CHAIRMAN'S EDITORIAL

Dear Fellow Supporters,

I have a confession to make! “The current Oldham Athletic team is the worst team I have ever known since 1959.” Strong words indeed, but I am incenced enough to face reality. I am probably (definitely) the best ever Latics fan and have followed the team through thick and thin, but it is demoralising, degrading and embarassing to know that the team you love will probably not win their next match. I expect the team to lose every match and a draw is a bonus. With only four wins to our credit the inevitable relegation is staring us in the face yet again. Admittedly the last two games have shown a mini-revival. The success over Gillingham in the FA Cup and last weeks 3-2 success over Wrexham has made their position slightly better but only a miracle, or investment in the team from someone like David Copperfield (or Mike Glenister), can turn this season around.

For the benefit of new members, the current news, seniority list (if you miss a week), and all the happenings can be accessed from our website at latics.cjb.net If you haven’t checked out the site yet give it a try as it is full of useless information for LSC members. You can keep up to date with club happenings too so get it bookmarked!

The Chairman


A-Z OF LATICS

I is for IAN WOOD who was signed initially as a centre forward but will be best remembered as a full back, a positional switch brought about by manager Jimmy McIlroy. Ian made 517 appearances between 1965 and 1980 and is still the club’s all time record appearance holder.

I is for HALOM. Vic Halom played for Athletic between 1976 and 1980. A big, bustling centre forward who scored 43 goals for Oldham, he scored over 100 league goals and helped Sunderland win the FA Cup in 1973. He was known to Latics fans as “King of all Geordies”.
DEAR DAN

Well done on supporting the latics in Canada.all I can say is why?! Hopefully with the signing of McGinlay, our attacking problems should sort themselves out. - E. Grogan.

Dear Mr? Grogan,

Ever heard the poem?:
Oldham Born, Oldham Bred,
Strong in the arm,
And thick in the ‘ed

I think that should answer your question. - Dan

Dear Dan,

I am a diehard Latics fan living in Stockport who spent 10 years living in 'exile' in Southern England (not quite as far away as you!) Everybody here is very disillusioned about the state of the club but there have always been too many apathetic people living in Oldham - witness the current plight of Oldham Rugby League Club. (Ed.’s note - they recently became defunct due to bankruptsy).

Its good to see somebody living so far away who puts a lot of time and effort into maintaining the enthusiasm of all the fans. From the looks of it your web-site is much better than the official site. Lets hope that McGinlay does the business for us tomorrow. Keep the faith,
Dave Fowler

Dear Dave,

Thanks for your kind words - I’ll pass your comments on to The Chairman. - Dan.


Hi Dan, et al

Sorry we did not get a chance to toast the arrival of yet another year of supporting the Latics. On the positive side, you are almost 25% of the way through the year. We are back in Mexico for the month of November and will return for Christmas to see our new grandson Alexander. I have been doing a lot of electronic work on the boat and, by the time we sail for the South Pacific in March, hope to be able to send regular email via the ham radio all the LSC across the 2800 mile trip. At any rate we will get to see the group in your new surroundings when we return.

The upcoming party sounds great. We will be returning to Vancouver on Dec 2 in time for the party and Christmas. Sorry we missed the new venue but we were packing a lot of equipment for Mexico. Now that we are here, there is a lot of work to do. Has been very hot except in the night so work is hard. Removed the rear drive seal from the main engine and now starting to install some upgrades on the navigation equipment and the battery banks (up to 3-8D gel batteries now).

Weather has cooled to 80F and more enjoyable. We are working like mad trying to get all the jobs finished. After leaving the boat for 7 months there is a lot of maintenance to do along with the new equipment being added and changed.The US dollar is strong here up from 7.8 last year to 10.05 at present. PV has raised all its prices so the cost is the same. Unfortunately the rise in costs has been higher than the dollar so Mexicans are having a hard time with purchasing power. The dollar did not go up proportionately so it is definitely more expensive for a Canadian this year. Our moorage is now $600 per month in Canadian funds. We could rent a house inland cheaper than that. The marinas all charge is US dollars and they have been doing a good business with no competition. Paradise Village Resort in Nuevo Vallarta will shortly open another 300 berths...at a high price..but at
one of the best resorts. Moorage will include all the pools, zoo, etc and have access to nightclubs, bars and eventually a casino. Time to get out of town before it gets like LA.

Saludos, Norm.


Mr. Chairman,

Apparently last night's Oldham Chron carried a piece about you and the STR petition in it. I haven't seen it yet but the chap who told me said that it read very well. He said they had quoted you re. furniture and tools (if that makes any sense!) and talked about your time in Canada.

Well done mate. Another good bit of publicity for the campaign again and reward for your sterling efforts. The article was, as ever nowadays, accompanied by a couple of lengthy letters supporting the campaign.
Carl Marlsden (STR)

What can I say? The Chairman’s fame spreads like butter.


[joke1]
FOOTBALL JOKES

Heard the latest bid for the Arsenal came from Saddam Hussein until he realised they were a football team.

Joe Royle (Manchester City manager) goes into Maine Road one Friday morning to find thieves have broken in and completely cleared the trophy room out. The police come round and ask Joe what's missing.
"Everything!!" he says.
They take a statement and study the surveillance cameras. An article appears next day in the Manchester Evening news "...thieves broke into Maine road football ground yesterday... police are now looking for two 20-25 year olds, wearing jeans and trainers in Moss Side carrying a 30 by 30 foot blue carpet."

Have you heard the one about the ram-raiding United fan? He ran out of petrol chasing a mobile shop!

Have you heard about the United fan who thought a 'Zulu' was a toilet at Whipsnade!?

United's entire first-team squad stormed up to manager Alex Ferguson’s office after hearing that injury-prone striker Andy Cole had received a cortizone injection. Apparently they all wanted a new car as well!

A man goes to Manchester airport and eventually goes into the departure lounge to wait for the call for his flight home. The place is a mess. All around him are overturned tables,smashed windows, upturned chairs, broken flight monitors and crowd control barriers littering the floor.
'Gosh, what happened here?' he asks one of the ground crew.
'Oh yeah', he replies 'Bloody hopeless it was, we had the Oldham Athletic squad in here this morning filming the new Nike ad.

Q. What do you call a United fan with an IQ of 10?
A. Extremely gifted!


BELIEVE IT OR NOT

[joke2]

TRAVELLING FANS:
According to the Sunday Mail, Clydebank now devote a page of their programme to listing the names of all the club's season ticket holders. This reminds of a magnificent tannoy announcement at Rochdale some years back, when Brighton were the visitors. Only a handful had travelled north from the south coast, so after reading out the names of the Albion players, the Dale announcer paused for a second, then said: "And now, here are the names of today's away supporters..."

ARE THEY RELATED?.... Good news for Anfield supporters, according to Liverpool secretary Peter Robinson, quoted in the city's Echo about club chairman David Moores: "His own wish is for the club to be successful." That's all right, then.


MASCOTS: In the recent Bristol City v Wolves game, with Wolves 2-1 up at the break, their mascot - Wolfie - started taunting his opposite number, City Cat. So City Cat whacked him. And the little pigs promptly joined in. There to represent a double-glazing firm, Coldseal, they gave a good account of themselves until the five furry
fighters were separated by the steward and slung out. Of course, if Wolfie goes round the little pigs' houses to huff, and puff and blow them down, then their Coldseal windows will no doubt mean they won't feel the slightest breeze - unlike City Cat, who is now walking the streets after getting the push from Ashton Gate, the home of Bristol City.

[rupert1]
MANURE NEWS: Manchester United recently spent £325 on spreading 5000 worms across the pitch to burrow their way into the soil and improve drainage - The Daily Mail alleges Manchester United have been cheapskates when making their latest signings, taken on in a bid to stop the Old Trafford pitch cutting up. Our correspondent heard one
of the little critters cry “Wher’m I going?” as he/she (they are hermaphrodites you know!) fell from the bucket. What was the comment about all United fans being fit for the compost pile?



BLACK MAGIC?:Eleven soccer players were struck by lightning during a recent game in Kinshasa, Congo, and investigators are considering whether witchcraft was involved, the Congolese news agency reported.
More than 30 other people, most standing on the sidelines, were injured, but none of the injuries is believed life-threatening. The lightning bolt affected all the players on the home team in the village of Bena Tshadi in the province of Eastern Kasai. The opposing players from nearby Basangana village were said to have escaped injury. The agency report Tuesday could not be independently confirmed. Sorcery is often used in the region in an attempt to influence soccer games. Because only home team players were injured, there was speculation witchcraft was involved. In west and central Africa, witchcraft is often offered as an explanation for natural phenomena and illness. The score was 1-1 when the lightning struck.

A LOAD OF BULL:Hereford's financial plight has been well documented, but how's this for a fund-raising idea? Their mascot, a prize Hereford bull splendidly-named Kudos Freetown, will help someone win a brand new car. At the end of the season, the Edgar Street turf will be divided up and sold at £10 per section and the Kudester (as he's known to his cattle pals) will be allowed to roam free across the hallowed turf. If he parks his breakfast on your square, you win the car! Simple, but superb.
THE DEAD GOOD DEAD HARD COMPETITION

No-one came up with the answer to our last competition yet again. We asked how many LSC members had been married whilst on the Seniority List. The marriage competition will be held over. We have decided to rename the competition spot as the “Dead Good, Dead Hard Competition” as it is dead good and dead hard and nobody ever gets the answers right as we are too clever for you. This weeks question is:

Which is the only English club with none of the letters of the word MACKEREL in it’s name.

This makes two units on offer! Go for it!
CHRISTMAS DRAW

The Christmas draw is beginning to take shape. The times of the draw are as below:

Six interspersed special draws (P. Egan)
3:30 Bottle of wine (K. Frost)
3:37 Bottle of wite whine (P. Waygood)
3:45 Bottle of wine (T. Wright)
4:00 8 laps of Formula 440 racing (H. Buhl)
4:07 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
4:15 Movie pass for two (J. Bowman)
4:30 Kangaroo nuts (S. Hastie)
4:37 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
4:45 Mystery Prize (D. Jackson)
5:00 One brand new imported dress [never worn] (J. Bennett)
5:30 Chocolate Truffles (J. Bennett)
5:37 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
5:45 “Danielle and You - How you like her” A personalised cartoon drawing by P. Egan
5:52 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
6:00 Rum Balls (L. McMillan)
6:07 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
6:37 Christmas Teddy (B. Smith)
4:49 Mystery Prize (B. Deren)
6:50 The Extra (P. Bonell)
7:00 The Tranmere pint (R. Williams)

Please help to make this our best draw ever. Give your donation to The Chairman with the requested time for your draw.
FAMOUS QUOTES

[joke3]

'What did you say to Souness after the end of the final whistle?' - TONY GUBBA


'It was one of the best goals I've seen this millenium.' - TONY GUBBA

'Bruce, on his right foot, is still running...' - ALAN GREEN


'Signori has all the tricks up his book.' - RAY WILKINS


'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - GARY LINEKER


'If in winning we only draw we would be fine.' - JACK CHARLTON


'Shearer could be at 100 per cent fitness, but not peak fitness.' - GRAHAM TAYLOR


'When the game kicks off, it's over.' - TOM TYRALL


'Cantona's expression saying the whole French dictionary without saying a word.' - BARRY DAVIES


'My name is usually the one on the end of people's lips.' - IAN WRIGHT


'He has now got a scapegoat to hang his hat on.' - FRANCIS LEE


'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed' - MITCHELL THOMAS


'Winning dosen't really matter as long as you win.' - VINNY JONES


'It was one of those goals that's invariably a goal.' - DENIS LAW


'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - RONNIE WHELAN


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