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CHAIRMAN'S EDITORIAL
Another year passes and we all prepare to take our Christmas break. When we return in the new Millennium I will be hoping for an upturn in fortunes, not just on the field but off. I have had my disappointments this year, none more than the drop in attendances. I know that Dan will be on my back to do something about it. Is it coincidental that our fall from grace has been more noticable since the Latics drop from Premiership status? I thought the following quote from an English newspaper appropriate:
"The chairman being the chairman has the right to criticise what he feels is not being done right." Gianluca Vialli tells The Sun.
Not being one to moan I will leave it short and hope that the new year brings good fortune to all our readers and also hoping that we return to our former glory revitalised and raring to go after the deserved rest.
Although in a somewhat subdued mode I will endeavour to bring some Christmas cheer with a bumper crop of jokes in this edition. Once again, all the best to you and yours. Hope you all get what you want in your Christmas stockings and hope to see you all well and in fine fettle in the new year. Try not to stay too sober!
Special ongratulations to Roger and Tranmere Rovers who defeated TWO premiership sides this week.
The Chairman
THE DEAD GOOD DEAD HARD COMPETITION
This weeks poser is: "Which professional club's name starts with five consonants?"
2) "The football is like a woman. She responds to my every touch, my every caress."
3) "I have never, and will never, find any difference between the pass from Pele to Carlos Alberto in the final of the World Cup in 1970 and the poetry of the young Rimbaud. There is, in each of these human manifestations, an expression of beauty which touches us and gives us a feeling of eternity."
4) "I try to provide entertainment on the field to help distract people from their worries, even for 90 minutes. If only society could do that for eternity."
5) "There are hundreds of birds, thousands of flowers, millions of stars. But only one race - the human race."
6) "If I had wanted to draw attention to myself, I would have become a singles tennis player. Or found a nice little girl to play mixed doubles with."
7) "It's not the darkness of death that worries me, but the thought of no longer existing in the bright light of living."
8) "I think a lot of officials thought I was dead after the ban. But since I was not completely dead and since I was even resurrected, they have done everything to make sure I died a second time. We'll see who dies in the end."
9) "Leaving a club is like leaving a woman. When you have nothing left to say, you go."
10) "When the seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."
Another report on the haves and have-nots of Lancashire. Bury expect to make less than £100,000 from the club shop this season. Six miles away, Manchester United take £29m a season. Bury, who finished only 35 places below United last season (not far in the great scheme of things), will receive about £900,000 in telly money this season, despite playing some big clubs, while a boring mid-Premiership side will bank £9m. Glory Years, who make Bury's kit (and 11 other League clubs) under the name Super League, was sold on Tuesday for £140,000 to Seet textile group. The Shakers will buy a player with the £170,000 they hope to raise from their lottery this season. There is only one division between these clubs, people. And United moan about paying players too much money!?!
Premiership's top weekly pay packets: (£1 is about $2.4 Cdn)
1 Roy Keane (Man Utd) £50,000
2 Alan Shearer (Newcastle) £42,000
3 Duncan Ferguson (Newcastle) £42,000
4 Robbie Fowler (Liverpool) £32,000
5 Didier Deschamps (Chelsea) £30,000
6 Paul Ince (Middlesbrough) £28,000
7 Paul Gascoigne (Middlesbrough) £28,000
8 Dwight Yorke (Man Utd) £26,000
9 Mark Bosnich (Man Utd) £26,000
10 Marcel Desailly (Chelsea) £25,000
Top earners in Europe:
1 Alessandro Del Piero (Juventus) £72,500
2 Steve McManaman (Real Madrid) £68,250
3 Patrick Kluivert (Barcelona) £60,500
4 Nicolas Anelka (Real Madrid) £58,500
5 Christian Vieri (Inter Milan) £58,500
6 Ronaldo (Inter Milan) £52,500
7 Juan Veron (Lazio) £50,000
8 Steffen Effenberg (Bayern Munich) £50,000
9 Krassimir Balakov (Stuttgart) £50,000
10 Roy Keane (Man Utd) £50,000
Certain people are FOR me and certain people are PRO me. - Terry Venables
I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was. - Ron Atkinson
Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together. - Malcolm McDonald
Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins. - Brian Moore
Football's not like an electric light. You can't just flick the switch and change from quick to slow. - John Greig
I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way. - Ron Atkinson
And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0. - Ian Darke
They have got their feet on the ground and if they stay that way they will go places. - John Gidman
Being naturally right-footed he doesn't often chance his arm with his left foot. - Trevor Brooking
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. - David Ackfield
Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think
Germany has got of getting through?
Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty"
I was disappointed to leave Spurs, but quite pleased I did. - Steve Perryman
He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head. - Derek Johnstone, BBC TV Scotland (1994)
He is busily engaged in building up the confidence of his own lads by attempting to play down the ability of the star-studded United team.
"Alex Stepney in goal - he couldn'a catch a cold....
Shay Brennan at right back - he canna turn, ye can skin him, nae
problem.......
Tony Dunne at left back - he's only a left peg, ye can beat him easily
on the inside....
Paddy Crerand at right half - far tae slow. If he ran any slower, he'd be
going backwards...........
Bill Foulkes at centre-half - well he's just an auld man, ye can run rings
round him............
Nobby Stiles at left-half - he thinks he's a hard man, but our Tommy
(Smith) will eat him for breakfast..........
David Herd at centre-forward - he's a carthorse, ye'll see better strikers
on the local park............
John Aston on the left wing - dinna make me laugh, he couldn'a even
catch a game at Everton"
At this point the tirade comes to an unexpected halt, and after a short pause, a Liverpool player pipes up, "but Boss, aren't you forgetting Best, Law and Charlton?"
Shankly considers this point for a moment, then replies testily, "Aye, well, they're nae bad players.........but surely ye can manage tae beat three men, can ye nae?"
Congratulations are in order for Hazel Kiselich on the birth of her son, Andrew. As far as we know all is well and Andrew is already enrolled as a Junior Latic at Boundary Park. Best wishes to all the above.