DIFFERENT STAGES OF ENDING RELATIONSHIPS







Here's my page about ending relationships. It's something that's hard to do and everyone at one time or another will go through break-ups, most likely as the dumper/dumpee or it might be mutual. It's pretty much common sense, but I decided to put it up anyways. I figure that since I had a love page up, there are relationships that don't end up happyily-ever-after, so here's the page representing the other side. I know how it is being on the other side, it's full of sadness, hurt and lots of heart wrenching pain...but eventually over time you will get over it. It seems like it's the end of world, but you realize that it's not and you will move on. It's just a matter of time and whether you are willing to let go. Even though it's so hard to let go of someone you love, it may be the best thing for both to part and go their seperate ways(for awhile or forever). Never lose hope because if it's meant to be...then there's always the possibility of reuniting together once again. If it doesn't work out that way you will find love again. That's all I gotta say...So read on(I got these notes from Albert Angelou from a workshop)


**Relationships don't end until you want them to end.**




Stages of Ending a Relationship

1) Disbelief -- not ready to see it or accept it
2) Anger -- for no reason, headed towards the end
3) Bargaining -- if you...then I...(try to keep it together)
4) Grief -- feel the pain/hurt
5) Facing it -- now it's over
6) Understanding why it ended
7) Possible Regrets -- Between good and bad points...
dumper has to get over the good memories
8) Unexpected Surprise -- dumpee has no burden of dumping
9) You are not yourself anymore -- give up part of identity
10) Something snaps -- maybe go back 'n forth in mind
11) Door to the heart is closed -- know what went wrong
12) opposite of love -- not caring, over it/detached



Healthy Ways of Ending a Relationship

DUMPER

1) Think everything through
2) Weigh the benefits and drawbacks
3) Timing correct
4) Get prepared emotionally, physically, financially
5) How you break-up with somebody
(face-2-face: neutral environment and make it short and fast)
6) Get to the point
7) Be clear that no chance to be rekindled(if permanent, make it permanent)
8) Keep others out
9) Don't list their short comings(word it sensitively)
10)We can be friends ~ give it time
11)Prevent unwanted contact ~ cut off contact if necessary
12)Plan for future encounters
13)Keep close to your friends ~ positive emotional support
14)Take care of your needs, beware of rebound relationships




Dumpee

1) Protect yourself emotionally, physically, financially
2) Keep signs of relationship (ok or not) goona end?
3) Fixable or not(it's over)
4) Take time to grieve
5) Want to keep contact
6) Take care of your own needs
7) Plan ahead for future encounters



Grieving Tips

1) Acknowledge grief
2) It will hurt(part of healing process)
3) Pain doesn't last forever
4) Pain will come at weird times
5) Get help from others
6) Don't make major changes during grief ~ postpone it
7) Let grief settle and get over it ~~ then decide
8) Redirection - turn experience into something new,
make new memory on top to make feel more comfortable
9) Be careful of false hope(possible regrets)






iF yOu LoVe sOmEtHiNg, LeT iT gO.
iF iT CoMeS BaCk To yOu iT WaS tRuELy MeAnT To bE.


SoMe PeOpLe tHiNk ThAt iTs StRoNgEr To HoLd oN,
BuT SoMe PeOpLe tHiNk iTs StRoNgEr To LeT gO.


iF yOu NeVeR GeT yOuR hEaRt bRoKeN; yOu'LL NeVeR LeArN to LoVe.


True love doesn't have a happy ending.
That's because true love doesn't have an ending.


A heart truly in love never loses hope but always
believes in the promise of love, no matter how long
the time and how far the distance.


There are moments when lovers need to be apart,
in order to love better and more completely."




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