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Some dog jokes

Why aren't dogs allowed at the White House?

They would pee on the Bushs and chase the Quayles!

 

A three legged dog walked into a bar and said,

"I'm looking for the man that shot my pa"

Alex ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time...

Alex's theme song...

Charlie Brown loves his beagle, Snoopy

 

Some famous owners of Beagles:
Charles Schulz, Roger Starbauch, Barry Manilow,
Eva Gabor & Mary Pickford

Five easy steps to get your beagle to come to you

Step One - In a stern, clear and loud voice call your beagle by name. Tell him, "Come Beagle, Come!"

Step Two - Repeat step one several times.

Step Three - In a calm quiet voice ask your beagle to please come. Ask him, "Beagle, please come, please... pretty please."

Step Four - Repeat step three several times.

Step Five - Give up. Find a nice comfortable place to sit and wait till your beagle decides he wants to come to you.

Some fun doggie quotes

To a dog, the whole world is a smell -- anonymous

A dog wags it's tail with it's heart -- Martin Buxbaum

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man -- Mark Twain

To err is human, to forgive, canine -- unknown

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down -- Robert Benchly

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas -- Jack Handy "Deep Thoughts"

Everything I learned in life I learned from my beagle

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want

When it comes to sex, if at first you don't succeed, Beg

Don't go out without ID

Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes

Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap

Always give people a friendly greeting - a cold nose in the crotch is effective

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed)

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss

When you go out into the world remember; always take time to smell the roses... and the trees, grass, rocks, fire hydrants...

If you have any jokes, quotes, comments or questions e-mail Alex!