New Start

Well, this is another segment in the life of the widowed. I have finally moved back to Colorado, to start over with a new life. What ever that means. Now is to see just what life has in store for me and just where I fit in. I moved here in October of 1999. It was rather hard to leave Texas. But was something that I felt I had to do for me. I have been here now for over 6 months, and do not regret moving back here. I know my family is glad that I am back. But they understood why I had to stay in Texas for 1 1/2 years after Bob's death, or is what they have said. I had to wait until I felt it was time for me to move on with my life. Sort of like saying that I had to wait until I felt it was time to start over! So here I am!!

It was only a couple of weeks after getting here that I was able to find a job! I work with a bunch of great people. In a way I have found a place for me or perhaps it is a purpose. I have this friend (who I work with) whose husband is dying (of brain cancer) and he is so young (like in his mid 30's)! My heart really goes out to them!!! They have known about this for over a year now. I can not imagine how hard it is to live each day wondering if today will be the day. She knows that I am as close as a phone call, and that I am always there for her. She also knows she can talk to me, and that I know what she is headed for and will understand her and the feelings that goes with it!! Sometimes when we are talking she gets to crying, and I end up joining her. She used to feel bad about that! Until I explained that tears are all a part of the healing process and that it is okay to cry. Besides if I didn't CARE I wouldn't shed a tear or be able to feel her pain!!!! I hate to see this happen to anyone. But I also know it is all part of GOD's plan, and we do not always know or understand why. Perhaps sometime down the road we will understand. But sometime things happen that we are not met to understand the WHY's!!!!

I am starting to get out more, meeting new people and making new friends. Perhaps one day I will find another man to love and to spend the rest of my life with!!! Since Bob's death, i have lived in Colorado, Utah and back to Texas again. I am not happy here, and hope to move back to Colorado. I was happier there, than any other place i have been. Since Bob's death. I have added Hootch in 1998. Now i add My dad Donald in 2000, an Aunt in 2001, and most recently i add my step-dad in April of 2006. I will miss them all!!!!!!

None of us know what is just around the corner! Or just what God's plans are for us... My mother used to say (she died in 1995), GOD NEVER GIVES US MORE THAN HE KNOWS WE CAN HANDLE!! True, sometimes it feels like we can not handle or deal with what he has handed us, but know that he has his reasons, and that he is always watching over us!!

Just remember that LIFE DOES GO ON AFTER THE DEATH OF A Spouse. It really does go on and many have proved it!!! I hope to be among those that have proved it, that is to myself!!!

LIFE DOES GO ON!!!!