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ELCOME

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appyhoughts

IN MY CELEBRATION OF CHILDREN

EVERYWHERE WHOM WE ALL LOVE!

I love, and enjoy very much, creating

these pages. It is my desire that they put a

great big smile on your face and that

you like them enough to pass on to others.

Come now with me and enjoy!

CHILDREN SAY

THE

"CUTEST THINGS "

In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was
eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner
guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, the boy
went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple
pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. The boy came
in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again
gave it to a guest. This was too much for the boy, who said,

"It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters
who will be coming to school."

"That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are the only child?"

She just said, "Thank goodness!"

It was young Anthony's first ride in a railway train, and the succession
of wonders reduced him to a state of hysterical astonishment.

The train rounded a slight bend and, with a shriek of its whistle,
plunged into a tunnel. There were gasps of surprise from the corner
where Anthony was kneeling. Suddenly the train rushed into broad
daylight again, and a small voice lifted in wonder.

"It's tomorrow!" exclaimed the small boy.

QUOTES

OF THE DAY

"When you hear the toilet flush and the words of "uh-oh",
it's already too late."

Children brighten up a home: They always forget to turn out the lights!

The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.

Your child has started growing up when he stops asking you where he came
from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going.

You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on
lipstick and your son starts to wipe it off.

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?"
"My daddy said it," he responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "you don't know what it means."
"I do, too." Little Johnny corrected. "It means the car won't start.

WHAT KIDS KNOW ABOUT THE BIBLE

The following statements are said to have been written by
actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine,
authentic and not retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling
has been left in):

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a
Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the
apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his
son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived
in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang
the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they
found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to
others before they do one to you.

He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed
to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12
decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called
monotony.

A father is in church with three of his children, including his 5-year-old daughter. As was the family custom. they sat in the front row so the youngsters could properly witness the service.
During this particular service, the minister was baptizing an infant. The 5-year-old was enthralled by the sight of the minister reciting something as he poured water over the child's head.
Puzzled, the little girl turned to her father and asked: "Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

A Dog's Duty

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

You thought you were happily smiling at your child from a hard stadium seat or a hot packed auditorium.
But your child looked at your face and saw approval of him and joy in what he was doing.

You thought that you were just patting him on the back or on the head, or just ruffling his hair.
But your child cherished the warm loving touch and his heart was brightened.

You thought you were reading a bedtime story with all the funny and scary voices.
But your child enjoyed the fact you read every word even though he had heard them a hundred times before.

You thought you were letting your child help paint the house even though the paint got kind of runny and drippy in places.

But your child knew that you were working together as a family and felt a sense of accomplishment as a family.

You thought you were singing silly songs or counting the cows on a long boring trip.
But your child learned that it was fun being together no matter where you were.

You thought you were spending a few minutes of your time by throwing a ball in the back yard or baking some cookies.
But your child, who realized that your time is precious, knew you were investing it in him.

You thought that you asked your child's opinion about something that wasn't too important.
But your child thought you asked because his opinions and thoughts were important.

You thought you were being a good host by inviting your child's friends in for a cool snack on a warm summer day.
But your child knew that his friends were important to you and always welcome in your home.

You thought the tears in you eyes went unnoticed when your child accomplished an important goal in his life.
But your child knew that he was deeply imbedded in your heart and you sensed his accomplishment.

You thought that the refrigerator was as good of a place as any for hanging all the art work and "well done" papers that came home from school.
But your child felt important when he came home from school each day with something to show you and tack up in his personal hall of fame.

You thought you gave your child some simple chore or job to do and told him, "Well done," with a smile when he did it.
But your child learned responsibility and began to realize he could tackle even tougher things.

You thought you were helping a troubled restless child get some sleep by fixing a cup of hot cocoa.
But your child felt that you were opening your heart around a kitchen table and making all the problems a lot smaller.

You thought the vacation wasn't much of a success because the fish didn't bite and the sun didn't shine.
But your child still remembers everything that happened and he still laughs at all of the funny parts.

You thought you were just pointing out the words in the church hymn book with your child's finger as he tried to sing along.
But your child learned that singing praises to God in worship was important.

You thought you were just giving him a quick hug at a special moment or "just because."
But your child carried it with him for a long time, because what you really said was, "I'm proud of you!", or "I love you!"

You thought you were just giving him a little kiss on the cheek to tell him good bye as he left for school.
But your child felt warm and loved because he knew there would be another one waiting for him when he got home.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of times when parents really are misunderstood!

The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will
stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father
does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy."

Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer,
l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."

The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Tyrone."

Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Tyrone. My father's a pharmacist,
f-a-m...f-a-r-n...f-n..."

The teacher says, "Tyrone, you go home tonight and learn how to spell
pharmacist. All right, Angelo."

Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie,
b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five Tyrone ain't
spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."

MARY'S LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little Lamb,
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.

He followed her to school each day,
When it wasn't against the rules.
He made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.

Then the rules changed one day,
Against the law it became.
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name.

Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh and play,
You heard them crying tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray.