Meet the Cat-chelor
| Name: | Jim "Big Head" Bailey |
| Height: | 5'7" |
| Weight: | 268 |
| Age: | 35 hard years |
| Occupation: | Nintendo |
| What he's looking for in a companion: | "Someone who enjoys the company of a man who seldom showers, who takes naps on your lap and won't get up and leave the minute you break ferocious wind. A good listener who shows approval even when everyone else in my life sees me for the failure that I am. No tuna breath!" |
Meet some of the Cat-chelorettes
| Name: | Petunia |
| Breed: | Siamese |
| Age: | 4 |
| Bad Habits: | Attacks children |
| Name: | Whiskers |
| Breed: | Himalayan |
| Age: | 6 |
| Bad Habits: | Sniffs own ass |
| Name: | Pussy Galore |
| Breed: | Maine Coon |
| Age: | 5 |
| Bad Habits: | Leaves hairballs on pillows |
| Name: | Moonbeam |
| Breed: | Persian |
| Age: | 8 |
| Bad Habits: | Sheds on pants |
| Name: | Chiffon |
| Breed: | Tabby |
| Age: | 4 |
| Bad Habits: | Claws genitals while curled up in lap |
| Name: | Pawszilla |
| Breed: | Alley Cat |
| Age: | 5 |
| Bad Habits: | Knocks phone off hook |