As a product of attachment parenting and now a practicing attached parent myself, I firmly believe in the benefits of this style. Children raised by attachment parenting are happier, healthier, smarter, more well-behaved, and more successful. This is a style of parenting that makes sense. It is the style that every caring individual would choose if free from the selfish influences of industrialized society and mass media. I believe all parents cared for their children in this way before there were "experts" to tell them how to raise their children. With attachment parenting, the parents follow the cues of their child rather than the advice of individuals who do not know the child as well as the parents.
Attachment parenting is not only a style of parenting but also a form of discipline. If we consider the true meaning of the word discipline, we find that it has very little to do with punishment and everything to do with self-control and self-management. Attachment parenting eliminates the need for most episodes of punishment.
The very nature of attachment parenting allows parents to be moved with empathy for their children. They feel whatever pain, distress, or hurt their child feels. They are able to see situations from the perspective of the child because of the strong bond. This rids the family of harsh punishments for actions that are a result of only the childs curiosity, misunderstanding, or exploratory nature. In turn, because the child is securely attached to the parents and trusts the parents to lead him/her in the correct path, the child finds little reason to disobey the wishes of their parents. Neither the parents nor the children are harsh with one another. This makes the home a loving place.
There are many practices that can help ensure a healthy bond between the child and the parents. Many of these begin at birth. However, for individuals who did not know about this style of parenting when their child was an infant, my advice would be "It's better late than never."
Gentle Birth
Breastfeeding
Extended Breastfeeding
The Family Bed
Baby Wearing
Stay at Home Mothering
Avoiding Any Parent/Child Separation
Homeschooling
Life begins at the moment of conception. A child's genetic code is determined at that moment. A baby can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel while still in the womb. You can begin bonding with your child as soon as you discover you're pregnant.
Some ways to help parents bond with their unborn child include:
*visualizations of holding, nursing, and caring for the baby
*talking to the baby
*singing to the baby
*reading to the baby
*placing hand on the abdomen to feel the baby's movements
*playing soft music
*gently rubbing the abdomen
*any other ways you can imagine (Be creative!)
Newborns can often recognize the voices of their mothers, fathers, and sometimes siblings immediately after birth. Many believe they remember songs and rythmic poems recited while they were in the womb. When I was pregnant with Faithlan, I read (or recited, I eventually memorized it) a poem called "Forgiven" by A.A. Milne and the Dr. Suess adaptation Baby, Oh, Baby, The Places You'll Go to her several times a day. From the time she was born until now, either of these will soothe her when she is crying.
Birth is a child's introduction to the world. While in the womb, the child does not know hunger, cold, tummy aches, extremely bright lights, very loud noises.
Breastfeeding is the natural way to feed a child. It is healthier and more beneficial then the use of artificial infant milk products (I try not to use the word formula because there is no formula for mother's milk). Breastmilk is God's perfect design for infant nutrition and well-being.
The American Academy of Pediatrics' statement on breastfeeding recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and continued breastfeeding throughout the first year. The organization also recognizes the benefits of extended breastfeeding.
Breastmilk provides the child with certain types of immunity, decreases the risk of ear infections, colds, etc., lowers the risks of childhood cancers, intestinal and stomach problems, and hyperactivity disorders.
Breastmilk causes the mother to lose her pregnancy pounds more quickly. It lowers the risks of breast and other types of female cancers in the mother. It slows the bleeding from birth. Breastfeeding causes the mother to release the "mothering" hormones which help her relax and make her feel nurturing feelings.
Breastfed children score an average of 20 points higher on IQ tests.
The benefits of breastmilk are more than just physical and cognitive, however. Breastfeeding forms a very special bond between a mother and child. This is something that is hard to describe to someone who has not experienced it. It is a bond that causes the child to want to please the mother in every way and the mother to want the absolute best for her child. Because of this, breastfeeding is also a form of disipline and is extremely important to the attachment parenting relationship.
Please, please make the BEST choice!!! Educate yourself on the benefits of breastfeeding and the dangers of bottle feeding. There is only one logical and child-centered choice for infant nutrition.
