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Appendix
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Rule 51:
Break down any
task to a convenient size
Think of the Pyramids. Think of every large building.
Think of a car. Without being gathered from small pieces,
they were never being erected.
Rule 52:
Win people to
your way of thinking
May be this is what it all is about in business, in
politics and in family life: Convincing people that your way
of thinking is right. Few topics from the behavioral
sciences has been more extensively treated than just this
one. It is matter for managers, for marketing people, for
organization people, for people in churches and in schools.
Among the rich variety of advices available, we have been
impressed by those of Dale Carnegie, who has helped millions
worldwide to self confidence and mental power. From his book
How
to Win Friends & Influence People we bring this
crash course in «winning influence»:
- Don`t always use your arguments (The only way to get
the best of an argument is to avoid it).
- Show respect for the other person`s opinion. Never
say «You are wrong».
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and
emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes"
immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the
talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or
hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person`s
point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person`s ideas and
desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Dale Carnegie has been read by millions all over the
globe. If this book is not in your library, you should by it
to day. Or you may which to have the hard cover version
doubled with the How
to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Rule 53:
Avoid letting
disagreement becoming an argument
- Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan. "When
two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary."
If there is some point you haven't thought about, be
thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this
disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before
you make a serious mistake.
- Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first
natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be
defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your
first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your
best.
- Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the
size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
- Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk.
Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This
only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of
understanding. Don't build higher barriers of
misunderstanding.
- Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your
opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on
which you agree.
- Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error
and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help
disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
- Promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study
them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right.
It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about
their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself
in a position where your opponents can say: "We tried to
tell you, but you wouldn't listen."
- Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
Any one who takes the time to disagree with you is
interested in the same things you are. Think of them as
people who really want to help you, and you may turn your
opponents into friends.
- Postpone action to give both sides time to think
through the problem. Suggest that a new meeting be held
later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be
brought to bear. In preparation for this meeting, ask
yourself some hard questions: Could my opponents be
right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their
position or argument? Is my reaction one that will
relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any
frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further
away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate
the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or
lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? Will the
disagreement blow over?
From Bits and Pieces, published by The Economic Press,
Fairfield. N.J.
Rule 54:
Negotiate for
a win-win-result
To settle disagreements and differences in positions,
apply some of the wisdom connected to negotiating in
business and government. The bestseller among negotiating
literature is Roger Fisher et al. Getting
to yes (You can also buy it as an audio cassette).
You may apply what you learn in this small book in several
connections, even to bargaining with your kids. An you can
even learn your kids negotiating. Here comes a
- Participants are problem solvers
- The game is a wise outcome reached efficiently and
amicably.
- Separate the people from the problem.
- Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.
- Proceed independent of trust.
- Focus on interests, not on positions.
- Explore interests.
- Avoid having a bottom line.
- Invent options for mutual gain.
- Develop multiple options to choose from, decide
later.
- Insist on using objective criteria.
- Try to reach a result based on standards independent
of will.
- Reason and be open to reason, yield to pressure, not
to principle.
The book is working out each point extensively and are
even entertaining. We must admit that some are recommending
the book of Howard Raiffa: The
Art and Science of Negotiation.
Rule 55: Coming!
Rule 56: Coming!
Rule 57: Coming!
Rule 58: Coming!
Rule 59: Coming!
Rule 60:
Know the
basics of horse trading
Very few of us end up as horse traders. But the tactical
lessons to be learned from a real horse trader may be
valuable in everyday life. Here comes a lesson found in an
old source:
1. Know the current market values of everything. Keep
some up-to-date catalogs in the back room &emdash; Sears'
mail order catalog, a farm supply catalog, an antiques price
guide, and an automotive parts price guide are
indispensable. When a prospect brings in Granny's butter
churn to swap, just make an excuse to duck out for a minute,
run to your catalog library, and see what butter churns are
bringing on the antique market.
2. Know the wants of the community. f you remember that
the Hellesponts got a Jersey cow a month ago, then you can
guess they're about ready to kill for a butter churn. You
might be able to swap this one for one of those registered
Collie pups they've got.
3. Trade for anything that comes along. You can never
tell when you might need a square of shingles, a road
grader, a pair of chore boots, a mushroom guide, or 4,000
meerschaum pipes to clinch a deal.
4. Only swap UP. If you can't make a profit, let the deal
go. Someone else will come along.
5. Size up your barter prospect. Talk for a while
&emdash; get an idea of the other person's character,
weaknesses, swapping expertise, and greed. Notice the pipe
he's smoking &emdash; maybe he'd like 4,000 meerschaums.
6. Make the swap sound complex. Dazzle the other fellow
with details and numbers so he can hardly follow you. Make
it sound like he's getting the best of a big deal &emdash;
shake your head ruefully and tsk - tsk that he's too smart
for you, while practicing Rule 4.
7. Get him to name a value first. This puts him on the
defensive and sticks him with a stated value while you are
free to register incredulity, to laugh, story tell, and
counter-offer at will.
8. Keep 'em off balance. Dress "pore," play the
character, talk like one. If you keep them entertained, you
may distract them from hard bargaining.
9. Sweeten the pot. If the prospect has brought kids
along, give them each a lollipop and a grin. Now the parents
feel obligated to you and you haven't even started to
dicker.
Ten Success Rules
- Put success before
amusement.
- Learn something every
day.
- Cut free from routine.
- Concentrate on net
profits.
- Make your services known.
- Never worry over trifles.
- Shape your decisions
quickly.
- Acquire skill and
technique.
- Deserve loyalty and
co-operation.
- Value character above
all.
Herbert N. Casson
Larsons list of nine
- Be so strong that nothing can disturb
your peace of mind.
- Talk health, happiness and
prosperity.
- Make your friends feel that there is
something in then
- Look on the sunny side of
everything.
- Think only of the best.
- Be just as enthusiastic about the
success of others a you are about your own.
- Forget the mistakes of the past and
profit by them.
- Wear a cheerful countenance and give
a smile to everyone you meet.
- Be too large for worry, too noble for
anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the
presence of trouble.
Christian Larson
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