Because I'm A Guy

Because i'm a guy.. When I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You'll never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because i'm a guy.. I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot find exotic items like cumin or tofu. For all I know they are the same thing. And under NO circumstances ask me to purchase something called a femine hygiene product.

Because i'm a guy.. I don't think we're at all lost and no I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger?????? how the heck could he know where we are going?

Because i'm a guy.. There is no need to ask me what i'm thinking about. The answer is either sex or football, though I have had to make up something else when you ask. So don't.

Because i'm a guy.. I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come to visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her anymore the I have to. Whatever you got her for Mothers Day is o.k. I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom too?

Because i'm a guy.. When one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair man gets here and puts it back together.

Because i'm a guy.. I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I realy have to go" & mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my budddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you and tell you i'll be home soon, and no. I don't understand why you threw all my clothes in the front yard. What's the connection?

Because i'm a guy.. Yes, I have to turn up the radio when Brucee Springstein or the Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time & Newsweek the same day, and how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because i'm a guy.. I think what you're wearing is fine, I thought what you were wearing 5 minutes ago was fine, to. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without, it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because i'm a guy.. And this is, after all, the 90's I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, & the dishes. I'll do the rest.