Jesus Christ declared in Luke 19:10: "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." Great was the loss of mankind when our first parents willfully rebelled against God's rule by violating His express commandment to refrain from eating the fruit of a certain tree. The ensuing wickedness of sin has been clearly evidenced throughout history by its fruits of atheism, evil, idolatry, selfishness, etc. Every honest individual must confess that within their heart is a propensity and inclination to indulge in actions that are contrary to the moral Law of God, and a corresponding trivialization of their law-breaking actions. A sinner finds it easy to justify his sins by re-creating God in his own image, bringing God down to his own level, thereby assuming that God will condone his wayfaring actions as minor matters, hardly worthy of judgment or eternal damnation. However, the Word of God confronts the indifferent sinner with the realization that God's view of sin is far different from his own. He learns that God the Son was manifested in the flesh to be a Savior for law-breakers (sinners) who are in danger of God's wrath against sin. He comes to understand that sin is an abomination and offence to a holy God, and that He has declared death as the wages of sin. Realizing the seriousness of his own predicament, and his inability to deliver himself from his evil proclivities, the awakened sinner is driven in search for salvation. The Bible alone reveals to the sinner that God has provided a means of deliverance from the penalty of sin, and that that salvation is found in and through Jesus Christ alone.
This article concerns the work of God's grace that was accomplished in my life many years ago. My parents had joined a Lutheran church when I was very young, so every Sunday morning my family faithfully attended the services of Atonement Lutheran Church in Jacksonville, Florida. How ironic to attend a church with the doctrine of the atonement in its name, and, yet, never hear of how one may come to receive eternal life through the Lord Jesus Christ. Another touch of irony is that Atonement Lutheran Church is no longer in existence. A Korean Baptist church now owns the facilities.
As a young boy in the Lutheran church, I was held captive by the weekly liturgy and various ceremonies that were held throughout the year. Most impressive was the annual evening service held on Good Friday. The cross on the altar was covered with a black cloth, and little-by-little the candles in the sanctuary were extinguished, until the members were left in total darkness. The membership would leave the building in a reflective, somber mood, knowing that two days later we would celebrate the resurrection of Christ on Easter morning. A talented musician in our church would assist the organist on Easter by playing the hymns with his trumpet. The emotional response was similar to the euphoria that football fans feel when their team defeats a rival. These services made a lasting impression in my mind about Jesus Christ, but there was much more for me to learn before I would come to know Him in truth.
Because of my fascination with the acolytes who lighted and extinguished the altar candles before and after the services, I eventually became one myself. It was an honor to be seated on the platform with Pastor Hendricks, a man who was our recognized leader. He had a booming voice that could easily be heard above everyone else in the church when we were singing the hymns. I had a deep respect for Pastor Hendricks and his wife. Our growing congregation was greatly pained when he announced one Sunday morning that his family would be moving to Kennesaw, Georgia.
Eventually, our church extended a call to Pastor Boaz, and his family became the new leaders in our church. It was during my junior-high and senior-high years that I sat under the ministry of Pastor Boaz. Although I had always enjoyed learning the stories of the Bible in Sunday School during my grade-school years, I found the weekly classes for Confirmation to be boring and irrelevant. I went because my parents took me, but if left to myself I would have chosen to stay at home. My enjoyment in life during the junior-high years was playing sports, listening to rock music over the radio, and spending time with the youth of our neighborhood. I found great satisfaction in these areas, and less fulfillment in attending the services of our church. Although the young men in our neighborhood never got into trouble by smoking or doing drugs, we did have access to pornographic magazines that we found in garbage dumpsters and in the closets of our fathers. We saturated our minds with the pictures before our eyes, and our thoughts of the opposite sex were warped by inordinate lusts. In comparison with the youth of our day who now have access to pornography via videos and the Internet, perhaps our indulgences would be considered tame. Nonetheless, we were filling our minds with sensual pictures that affected our view of the young ladies around us in our classrooms and neighborhood, leading us to view them as sex objects for our fantasies and desires. Why even mention such actions in one's testimony? Simply to dispel the idea that a young man who has been raised in church is good, and to show that baptismal waters, confirmation, and access to the Lord's Supper do not make an individual fit for heaven. Young men who wear suits to a church service bring with them hearts that have desires and lusts that violate God's moral law, and such young men are in need of a Savior to deliver them from such damnable sins and lusts.
During these formative years, two events transpired that caused me to ponder my spiritual state. The only grandfather I had ever known died in 1971. Although he was a man who had no interest in the things of God, and I knew that he had deserted my grandmother and her children when they were young, wasting good money on women, gambling, and alcohol, I still loved him. He was the first person in my young life who was dear to my heart to die. The reality of death and separation from loved ones hit home for the first time in my life. Two years later my great-grandmother also died. Once again I was faced with the stark reality of the finality of death, and the growing awareness that I had no idea what would happen to me when I died. I had no assurance whatsoever that I would go to heaven when I died, for noone in my church had ever informed me that eternal life could be a certainy in the life of a church member. Never had anyone in all of my years of church attendance told me how I might come to the knowledge that my sins were forgiven, and how I might know that I was going to heaven. Thus, my uncertainties about life and eternity continued to increase as I experienced the losses of two relatives who had been a vital part of my life.
In the providence of God, I had begun to read the Bible with renewed interest after the death of my grandfather, for I felt that the Bible was the Word of God, and I increasingly felt drawn to it, even though much of it seemed irrelevant to my life at that point. Certain portions of God's Word warmed my heart at various times, but I still found friends, sports, music, and other interests to be more real than Jesus Christ, His Word, and church services. Being on the basketball court or football field was more exciting than sitting through a Sunday morning church service. Even so, the Almighty God was drawing me to Himself through various situations and circumstances.
One experience that caused me much discomfort during my ninth grade year was a Lay Renewal Weekend that was hosted by our church. Lutherans from around the nation came for this special weekend. I found myself in a circle of about eight to ten people, with some of these laymen talking about Jesus Christ as though they knew Him. It was very unsettling when they asked each one in our group about their testimony. Whatever that was, I knew I didn't have one. I have no idea what I said when it was my turn to share my testimony, but it surely lacked any substance. Amazingly, as I look back, noone approached me that evening or during the rest of the weekend to talk to me about the state of my soul. One positive thing came out of that weekend -- a realization in my mind that there were some people who seemed to know Jesus Christ in a way that I did not know Him.
It was during my ninth-grade year that I came to know Jesus Christ in sincerity and in truth. While watching an evangelist on television one night, I heard the good news of the forgiveness of sins through Christ. The preacher expounded the truth concerning heaven and hell, and how a sinner might come to experience peace with God. The Holy Spirit took the Word that was preached on that occasion, and sealed it to my heart. For the first time in my life, I realized that salvation was not to be found in church membership or baptismal waters, but in a Person -- the Lord Jesus Christ. In the privacy of my own bedroom, I knelt down and asked God to forgive me of my many sins, to save me from sin and hell, and to be my Lord and Savior forever. A calmness came over my soul as I realized that my prayer had been heard. The peace of God became my possession, and the joy of the Holy Spirit overflowed in my heart. I knew I was forgiven; I knew that Christ had saved me; and I knew that my life would never be the same.
I shall never forget the emotions that welled up in my bosom on the following morning when I stepped outside of the house. The air smelled fresher, the sun seemed to shine brighter, and I felt like I was really alive. Perhaps that may sound somewhat melodramatic, but it was an experience that I will always remember. I was right with God, not because of what I had done, but because of what He had done on my behalf some 2,000 years earlier. Fanny Crosby's old hymn, "Blessed Assurance, Jesus Is Mine," was now a song that I could truly sing. My intellectual knowledge of Christ from the past now became a real and abiding fellowship that involved not only my mind, but my will and emotions. I could not have expressed it then, but later studies of the Bible revealed that the Holy Spirit had accomplished the work of regeneration in my life. I was now a new creature in Christ Jesus (2 Cor.5:17).
Immediately, I discovered an insatiable appetite for God's Word. The darkness of my understanding had been eradicated by God's power, and the Bible became a new book that made sense. I couldn't get enough of it. I carried a copy of the Bible with me when I went to school, and every chance I got I put my thumb between its pages to read its contents. Attendance at the church services now became something I anticipated with great eagerness. What a shame that week after week I carried a Bible to the services, hoping for "food" from the pastor's studies, only to be disappointed by a sermonette that lacked any biblical substance. Fellowship with God through prayer became an increasing delight in my life. I wanted others to know the saving power of Christ in their life, so I sought for opportunities to be a witness. My ninth through twelfth grade years in school were an exciting time in my life as I walked with Christ, grew in my knowledge of His Word, and found Him to be altogether satisfying.
It was during my tenth grade year that I felt God was calling me into ministry. After two weeks of searching the Scriptures and spending time in prayer about this matter, I believed that God had placed within my heart a desire for public ministry. I thought that I would one day serve as a Lutheran pastor, little realizing at that time the journeys I would yet undergo before leaving the Lutheran denomination to become a Baptist. But that is another story, and the purpose of this article was to give some brief details of the work of God in my life. My glory is in the cross of Christ and His work of redemption, the love of the Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. He alone is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory. Blessed be His name forever!