Sometimes divorce is good. Sometimes divorce is
bad. The one thing that divorce does guarentee, your life
will change. From experience I know the emotional roller
coaster a divorce can be. I know from both sides that it
isnt easy. My parents got a divorce and my childrens
father and I got a divorce. When a couple says "we got a
divorce" speaking for the two of them it is an
understatement. It would be more realistic to say "our
family got a divorce." We get mairred, get divorced and
get over it, sooner or later. How parents handle there
divorce has a major impact on how their children are
effected for years down the road. From my parents divorce, I learned some valuable
lessons. There was very little,
if any
contact between my Father and I after he and Mom divorced. I miss a father-daughter
relationship in my life. The same lack of communication has happened between my kids and their Father. For several years
I bought the kids each a Christmas present and put their
fathers name on it. After awhile I quit doing that.
I have been remairred for six
years. My children consider him to be their Dad and I am
thankful for there relationship but I know that deep in
their hearts it must hurt at times that there is no
attachment to their blood father. I am sure it will be a
void in their lives from now on. I know. Now for the part
I have had control over. It has sure taken a lot of
self-control on my part but I never found myself
guilty of expressing my negative feelings towards the kids
father in front of them. I never made them feel like they
had to choose between a relationship with me or him. I
have
always tried to encourage them to send cards, make phone
calls and try to establish a relationship with him. My
advice to them was not to burn any bridges, even when they
were irritated with him. When you
get mairred and have children, whether you stay together or
not it is a childs right to know and love both parents.
When you have children it is your responsibility to
establish attachment and love your children from birth on.
The whole family can make it through a divorce in a
healthy, positve way but it takes a whole lot of caring,
forgiving and unselfishness on everyones
part.
Eileen Breedlove
I wrote the following poem for my grandson.
My Daddy
Mommy loves me and Daddy does to.
They went seperate ways and my heart split in two.
I hope they can tell I know things arent right.
Please God let them think before they fight.
One day my Daddy moved away.
I miss him when it's time to play.
Remember Mommy, he loves me to.
I want to be with him as much as with you.
Because you are mad dont keep him from me.
I want to grow up and know him you see.
Please keep me in mind when Daddy calls.
I need him to when I stumble and fall.
Its OK if you dont live together.
But I need you both to love me forever.
Keep my best interest deep in your heart.
Please dont keep me and Daddy apart.
When I kneel down to pray at night.
I want to tell Jesus that things are alright.
God gave me a Mommy and a Daddy to.
He didnt give either of you the right to choose.
Eileen Breedlove
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3:Perso
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© 1998-2001 ebreedy@peoplescom.net
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