'CD-ROM and CD-R Woes'
The caller wanted to get a replacement coffee cup holder for her
computer. When the tech asked what she meant, she replied, "you
know that little tray with a cup holder which comes out the front
of the computer."
+++
A similiar incident found the tech being asked about the broken soft
drink holder.
+++
Another CD-ROM caller was in panic as he asked,"Will I have to have
my house decontaminated because I broke the door on CD-R while it was
working?" When asked why, the called responded,"Because of the laser
radiation!"
++++
I have a computer game on a CD. While playing the game, there is
an open fire in the game. Will this fire burn my home down?
Submitted by Ken A.
'Of Mice And...'
The woman wanted to know if you needed to get a vaccination before handling
the computer mouse.
+++
Another potential mouse user wanted to know if they would have to get rid
of their cat.
+++
One lady called and was upset because she couldn't get her computer started.
She had been pushing the foot petal, but it wouldn't go. The foot petal turned
out to be her mouse!!
+++
Tech:"How have you tried to get your mouse recognized by the computer?"
Caller:"I hold it on the TV screen and move it around so the computer can
see it!"
submitted by Scott J.
'A Floppy by any other name...'
The frustrated gentlemen asked if someone would tell him what 'a right
protect error was'? He had been trying to install a program for two days
and this was the error he was getting. He had waited on hold for forty-five
minutes on three different occasions and he wanted a replacement disk. The
tech explained that he simply needed to move the little slide on the back
of the diskette and it would solve the problem.
++++
Several years ago, a friend of mine bought a computer. She
called me for help installing the software (I worked as a tech
for a large software company). She was trying to put all seven
disks in the drive, but was didn't know how to get the floppy
disks out of their cases. She was using 3 1/2" disks, and was
trying to get the magnetic media OUT of the hard plastic case, so
she could fit the seven disks in the drive. I informed her that
the floppy part was NOT to be removed, and only one disk went in
the drive at the time. On top of that, the program was already
installed, and all she had to do was click on the icon.
This is a true story - this woman really did call me, and really
was trying to get the floppy part of the disk out of the case.
She thought she needed to stuff all seven disks in the drive at
once. I recommended she take a beginning computer course before
she touch the computer again. Side note - she also took it upon
herself to "reform" all the nutcases on the chat lines!
Submitted by Amy B.
'The Key To It all...'
The caller said that he was having trouble installing his software, because
he didn't have the proper keyboard. He said this message kept apprearing
on his screen: "Hit any key to continue" but his keyboard did not have one
marked "Any key"
submitted by Rosebud
My company hires out to many other companies, one of them being for scsi cards.
I once had a customer that called to say that she loaded the cd...but wanted to
know what to do with the "green thingy"... Wondering what she could possibly mean,
I asked "you mean the green electronic looking thingy" (meaning, the card itself).
She says "I don't know much about electric stuff, so I don't know if it's electric".
I asked "does it have electric chips and parts on it?" She says "I don't know, there's
things on it that makes it look like a mini city"....I concluded that it was the card itself.
"well, that goes into the computer." I say.... "No way" she says... "How do I put
it in there?"
"You'd need to open up the case and put it into the slot that it fits in" I say
"What's a case" she asks (I kid you not)
So then I start describing the case as my fellow cube-mates laugh at me....
Submitted by Matthew M.
'To Compute or not to..'
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well, just hit enter when ready!"
Person: "But how do I know when it's ready?"
submitted by Brad W.
'Caught in the Net..'
One of the servers crashed. The new system administrator was trying to restore
it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to a directory named "i386.
" He started to type it and paused, and asked me, "Where's the key for that line
thing?" I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that
looks like an upside-down exclamation mark." I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?"
and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
submitted by Brad W.
+++
I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and could
not understand why his computer would not turn on.
submitted by The Boss
'On Yon Window..'
The customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper byholding
it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
submitted by The Boss
++++
Tech:"Are you sure it is running in Windows?"
Caller:"You're right the computer did work better when it was
by the window!"
submitted by Vern R.
'Who Did you Say..'
Caller:"Why do you have the army reading what's on my computer?"
Tech:"We don't have anything like that going on, why do you think that?"
Caller:" If you don't then; Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
Submitted by Arlayne W.
+++++++++++++++
Caller:"My CD-R is bad and I need to get it fixed"
Tech:"I will need to give you an RMA number which you will put
on a card and attach to the drive"
Caller:"How do you spell that RMA?"
Tech:"It is RMA"
Caller:"The what does it mean?"
Tech:"Return Merchandise Authorization"
Caller:"Then how do you spell it?"
Tech:"RMA"
Caller:"I heard you, but how do you spell it?"
submitted by Maria H.
++++++++
'What Ego Doth Show..'
Caller:"Do you know why there are Black Holes?"
Tech:"No, Why?"
Caller:"Because God tried to divided by zero."
Submitted by Arlayne W.
++++
A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid".
The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and"invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.
submitted by The Boss
'A Laugh a day will..'
Q. How many computer engineers does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?
A. It takes 389 computer engineers to screw in a lightbulb:
One to complain that the problem is due to faulty wiring,
not the lightbulb. One to call in a consultant. Eighty seven
to debug the work the consultant does. And three hundred
more to post notes to computer mailing lists arguing about
the basic design flaws of the lightbulb, reminiscing about
the good old days when candlelight ruled, and discussing
possible technological advances in lightbulb functionality
in the future.
Submitted by Brad W.
************************************************************************
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