Objective

This page marks the beginning of a series of pages that you will have to navigate through. You will know that you have reched the end when you get to the page that says the end. If you are balked at any point, keep in mind that there is a way through. I was going to make it so you couldn't view the source to get any hints, but it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. I would suggest trying to get through on your wits alone, but I can't stop you from cheating. I will post an e-mail link on the last page, so as an incentive you can send me an e-mail with your name and address, and I will burn a cd full of neato files. Let me know some of your interests, too, and I'll tailor the CD as much as I can. I would have posted some mp3s, but most are too big to upload to geocities. My new hobby is making and dubbing avi files. I'll post some as soon as I finish any.

Disclaimer notice #1: most of the graphics, sounds, and javascripts have been harvested from multiple web sites over time. I don't even remotely claim to have created any of them. I don't provide links to any of the places I got 'em from cause, let's face it, most of the links would be dead, and the rest would be dying as I created them. If your site is alive and kicking, and you contact me, and I can confirm that it is where I got a file, I may consider adding a link page, but I'll probably make it as obscure and as difficult to get to as many of my other pages.

Disclaimer #2: Author of this website disavows any liability for anything that may happen to: you, your computer, your dog, your pick-up, or any relationship you may be in; that results from your choosing to continue on this journey. Please keep your hands inside the ride, but out of your pants, at all times. It is highly suggested that you not continue if you: are pregnant, hope to become pregnant, have heart problems, suffer from epilepsey or tay sachs syndrome, are an alcoholic, smoke, cheat on your taxes, drive a jacked-up truck, watch professional wrestling, let your children watch barney, are concerned about kidney failure or global warming, think that the government is a two party system, have one or more children named after you, think Patrick Swayze is "dreamy", enjoy eating oysters, have experienced deja vu, been diagnosed with hydro-oxic acid exposure, have ever had or currently have a glue-eating compulsion, are allergic to your gold fish, own two or more cats and talk about them as if they were real people, think that the day professional sports go off the air marks the end of civilization, believe Rome was built in a day, don't know who is buried in Grant's tomb, don't understand what a "happy" atom is, have never heard of partical man, don't know who Sailor Moon is, stand up before wiping, whistle constantly while occupying a confined space with other people, don't know that you can turn left onto a one way street at a red light provided that you are in the left-most lane, have experienced deja vu, think that you can only be fulfilled by bringing misery to others, believe that your perception of the world is completely accurate, are worried that your dog is mad at you because he doesn't talk to you any more, constantly obsess about poop, think that wearing a bikini to the company barbecue is appropriate, have aspirations of driving a hamms beer truck when you grow up, think that dragonball z is some kind of chinese food restaurant specializing in meatballs, don't know what a "gundam" is, or fear total chaos (cause, let's face it folks, our existence brings us closer to chaos every second).

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