It is such a pleasure having you at my website! God works in amazing ways. I love to pray and sit back and watch God work. He is so awesome.
His presence is so awesome.

I frequently sit and weep as I intercede for others that God puts on my heart. and I sit here and weep and weep while praying, sometimes for hours. God has given me a burden for a little six year old girl with brain tumors that I intercede for all the time. I feel their pain.
Sometimes God wakes me up at night to pray for a certain person. And when I can't go to sleep, I will ask God, "Am I awake because there is someone you want me to pray for... Who is it?" And then he will tell me who to pray for.
Each day when I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is say, "Good morning Holy Spirit, and what can I do for you today? Send someone to me or me to them. And Holy Spirit, I invite you into this home, have your way with my hubby and me, and in our marriage." God leads me to do this, and it makes a difference in how the day goes.
He always sends people to me by phone, or to the house, or on the internet asking for help and prayer. Each day. I am so blessed.

Heavenly Father, I come to you asking you to have mercy on everyone reading this suffering with this Fibro. Lord you know I have many friends that have Fibro also. I am asking you to touch each one of us with your healing hands, letting the warmth of that healing flow all through each one of us.
I especially ask you to touch the people reading this at this very moment. Especially for those that must go out and make a living each day for their family. This is so terriby hard on them because their whole body hurts soooooooooo bad, yet they must work for a living. I ask you to make thier jobs easy on them, make each day of work easy for them.
Give them your strength and minister to them each day. Sustain them and me to get through each day in the horrible pain we are in.
Speak to us. Use us for your glory each day to bless others, and to bring others that are lost, to your Kingdom untill the complete manifestation of your healing in us. Show them and me what you expect and want of us each day, what you want us to do for you.
We know you are molding and shaping us, putting us in the fire, till we come out the way you want us. Give us your guidance and direction, and keep your angels around us with your protection. And with you Lord, we will come through the pain, out of it victorious, fired and perfected to what you desire for us. I ask you this in Jesus Name, Amen!

One day while doing laundry, the pain was so horrible that I was crying, which I do a lot. Yes, a lot of laundry, but I mean a lot of my days are so horrible with pain that it makes tears run down my face. A friend said she was coming over to pray for me.
Before she got here, with tears flowing I asked God to fill me with His joy and laughter. I started laughing and laughing so hard and it just kept on. My friend got here and saw me laughing so hard that I could not stand, and the pain was gone for a good hour after the holy laughter stopped. She did not have to pray for me.

Now, I will share a couple of things with you all.
One night while I was going to sleep, half asleep, I felt a hand on my head. I turned over to see if it was my husband, but he was turned over the other direction and he was sound asleep. I laid my head back down and again I felt a strong hand on my head. Again I looked and my husband was still sound asleep turned the other way, and snoring. ha!
Then I knew it was the hand of Jesus.
I felt the warmth of His hand and the imprint of His hand on my head. I felt it for another couple of hours while laying there. It was so beautiful and I felt like I was in His presence.
Just knowing He had touched me is so awesome that I have never forgotten it.
Another time while sitting on my swing on the patio praying, all of a sudden God gave me a vision.
 

 

In the vision I saw this bucket of water being thrown at me and the water splashing all over me. In the background I saw this huge beautiful waterfall. I asked God what was the bucket of water for that was thrown on me. He said it was His Spirit that I was thirsty for. I asked Him what was the waterfall for. He said it is to keep refilling the bucket with the water to pour out His Spirit upon me. It was so beautiful, so awesome, and I can see it now as I share it with you.
 
At times His presence gets so strong on me that I just crumble and weep and weep and tremble inside for a long time. This goes on in my home...
Just Jesus and Me...
I toss and turn all night in such pain. I dread going to bed but it is no different from the daytime either. Pain is terrible all the time.

Call my name Lord. Lift off my sorrow.
Call my name Lord, and take my shame.
For I am wounded, fallen, I lay broken in defeat.
As the river of my days flows silent to the sea.
Where's the light Lord? Dry up my sorrow.
Where's the light God? Consume my shame!
For in my misery darkness is all that I can see.
But I close my eyes and raise my hands to worship anyway.
Here's my heart Lord. It knows sorrow.
Here's my thoughts Lord, focused on pain.
When I look into your eyes of steadfast love and purity,
Injustice of this world falls off like skin that's shed away.
Call me yours Lord, I'm more than sorrow.
In your hand Lord, I rest my pain.
Call my name Lord.
- Rik Berry
Only us that suffer like this can really relate to each other and know deep down what the other one is saying and feeling in their heart. We can minister to each other better than someone that is healthy.

I am blessed to have a husband that tries to understand all that I am going through. He is so patient with me in the suffering even when sometimes I have gotten 'fussy' with horrible pain. We had plans of traveling to Camp meetings at other churches, to see family and go camping, when he retired but my body will not let me.
Instead, Larry so graciously helps me make the bed and vacuum as well as many other household chores. He has to do most of our grocery shopping.
I push all day, doing as much as I can and then lay down in my Lazy-Boy chair moaning in pain. To go to the next town, only twenty eight miles away is a big ordeal to me. I can only spend about ten minutes in a store because I just can't stand there or walk the distance anymore without my left knee and legs crumbling.
I went walking each day less than a year ago.
I get up every morning in bad pain, and within ten minutes of getting up the pain just gets worse and worse. Putting clothes on is painful. Taking my meds and supplements and cooking myself some breakfast is torment most times.
My hands feel like someone has taken a hammer and beaten them all the time, right now the typing is killing me. Because of the pain getting worse each minute of the day as I 'move' around and do house work, my muscles knot up worse, so stiff that a lot of times I am crying in pain. As I try to do the things that need to be done I just worship Him and pray all day long from the second I get out of bed.
It is so peaceful to pray while working in the house, to put on His music and listen to it as I work. There have been times in the car that I have forgotten where I was going because I am praying there also. haha!
This morning all I had to do was speak out and tell Jesus I love Him sooo much, and immediately His presence came over me. The more I praised and worshiped Him, the heavier the anointing and His presence got. I just wept and wept. It was so awesome. I do not have to be in a church building or someplace special to feel His presence. His presence is right here in my house. My car. My laundry room. Wherever I am at the moment I can seek His face, and within a second His presence is all over me.
Someone might ask me if all this pain is worth it. Here's the answer to your question.
I would take suffering and the intimate relationship I have with my Jesus than not know Him the way I do now.

He is all that matters.
I am getting goose bumps and a shiver goes up my spine as I say this to you, and that is the way the Holy Spirit does me sometimes.
It does seem that most of those suffering bad turn to Jesus more than some that think they 'have it all.' My pastor tells people that I have only Jesus to turn to for help. That I am desperate. That without Jesus, I would not make it, or be healed. This should be true for everyone but it is a shame that some of us have to be 'desperate' before we truly seek that intimate relationship with our Father, and actually find him.
Some turn the other way. There have been times that the pain is so overwhelming, yet I needed to go to town to the grocery store or somewhere else. I pushed and pushed myself trying to go, but ended up not being able to leave the house. I would then sit down at my computer and on my ICQ and in e-mail up would pop people asking me for help, and to pray for them.
God kept me home in pain to minister to these people because He knew that if I had felt better I would be running around town taking care of business to run our home, and not have opened the 'puter' and answer those that need help.
My time is His time. We never know when God is going to call us home, we must all be ready.

God showed me that He is taking us through a process, and He is preparing us for eternity. Each day is a closer walk with Him. He is preparing us to go home with Him, and it is not over till we do go home to be with Him.
Although I desire to be in Heaven with my Jesus more than anything, I was afraid of dying till Jesus taught me this recently.
As I seek His face, I see him suffering on the cross for us. He did an exchange for us, took all these things upon himself that we could be free from our guilt and shame. When He showed me this I begin to weep uncontrollably.
Him showing me this helped me greatly three weeks ago when I really thought that night I was going home to be with Jesus. Before I was scared, but this night three weeks ago, I wasn't.
I was so bad I could not even eat the food I cooked. I was all of a sudden so weak that I could not hold myself up. My breathing was very slow and shallow. I crawled into bed and just laid there and called upon the name of Jesus.
I was too weak to speak out loud. I felt like I was fading away, half here, and half there leaving to be with Jesus. And for the first time, I didn't feel any fear.
I kept my eyes on Jesus and I could 'see' Him.
It brought such peace to me and I told Him that if this is what He wanted for me then I was His now.
My Breathing was very weak and my husband Larry came in and prayed for me. I must have fallen asleep, because I woke later and saw that I was still here. I was too weak to move. I woke the next morning, still here, and I did not feel sick, I felt like I always do.
You can see why I must share the journey with Jesus that I am on here on temporary planet earth. It is like we are going to explode inside if we don't tell just how
we feel inside, what God is doing.
I am the first to admit that I make a lot of mistakes, but God loves me and He forgives me.
Each day I ask God to forgive me for anything that is in me that is not of Him, for Him to take it out and to replace it with more of Him and His anointing.
I am a sinner, but I desire to stay in His presence and have His character more than anything else. I am very transparent and open, and why not be? God can see me and know all, nothing can be hidden from Him. I want to be like Him. To have His character. I want Him to be pleased with me. It is a long way down that road, but I will not let anything stop me, and pray that if something or even my own flesh tries to get in the way, Jesus will remind me and pick me up before it is too late.
I thank God for the pain and torment I have had, even though I have spent many a day in tears, because I know that if it was not for this, I would not have the walk with Him that I have today.
That we depend totally upon God for every thing, and so desire to be with Him. That it has been worth every minute of torment, since that is what it took to be so intimate with him.
It has caused me to humble myself, and thank God for that.
I know that I need to thank God more for my suffering for He brought me to the point that I am with Him.
While I am trying to say this to you, His presence has gotten so strong on me that I am crying and I cannot stop crying here. It has been very hard for me to tell God "thank you for pain" when the pain was making me throw up, could not walk, and they were words that I meant, but not till now. Now I really mean...
"Thank you Jesus for all the pain and torment, the pleasures I have missed out on with my family and friends, all of it. THANK YOU JESUS for trusting me with this pain I have carried, for it has brought me so intimately close to Him, and I would not trade it for anything."
I am still crying, for His presence is so strong on me. He has allowed me to go through this to teach me, to bring me closer to Him, and I know He is going to use me for my family and friends to see this. I fully believe that God is going to heal me and my pastor told me that when God heals
me, it will increase others faith in Him.
Thank you Jesus for removing the blinder from my eyes, for I knew all this, felt all this, and meant all this, but did not understand why, but now I do, He knows my heart and how much I love Him, love Him above anything else...
I have a very compassionate heart for those that suffer, and am very sensitive. Because of this I shed a lot of tears all the time, especially as I pray for those suffering.
A friend on the internet told me that when my husband retired eight months ago, that I had better tell him that I spend a good deal of my time each day praying and crying, and on the computer praying and crying with others, as the Holy Spirit and His presence envelopes me, because if not he might think
something is wrong and try to 'fix' it, (Like a man is driven to do... LOL.) and the whole time it is Jesus presence so he won't think he has done something wrong.
He was right, and so with Larry at home, I have had to explain this to him. But he knows me, and he knows that I will pray every opportunity I have, and that when God's presence is on me, tears flow.
When I meet all of you in Heaven, we can really have looooooong talks about Jesus and worship together forever.
As for the present sorrow, I call it weeping and groaning in our spirit. I spend a lot of time in intercession, praying for those God has given me burdens for. I really fill up the buckets with tears. I could take a bath in my tears sometimes. hahaha!
Our tears are from Jesus. So if God wants me to cry, I just let him do whatever He pleases.
Love is sooooooo important, if only we all showed that love and spoke it to each other. I love you too dear reader. You are very special to God, I know He is so proud of you, what a servant to Him you are. Hey, you are special to me also.
My favorite scripture is Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." To me this scripture takes care of everything. It means to me that if I do just this then God will take care of me, my spiritual life would be where it should be, everything He has promised us, everything He has for us, will be added unto us, me! Just seek God and His Kingdom and Righteousness. Do it and live it. Speak it and live it again, then look at what He has for me.
I know I fall very short of this, but with all my heart I do desire to have Christ's character...

I have faith. I do, but then sometimes I feel like I do not have the faith I need when the pain is so horrible and tears are pouring down my face, and we have to have faith to please God.
I want so much to please Him. I ask Him to show me how I can please Him. And I know where I do fall short and that is not spending enough time in studying His Word. I do study His word, but always feel I am not doing it enough. I was so sick for so long that I could not even read, and I still have a terrible time holding a book or newspaper, my bible, a magazine, or anything. My hands hurt so bad that I cannot hold the book but for a minute.
In all these things though the bible says "we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ who loves us and gave himself up for us.
I know I will make it through.