Well here I sit holding my breath.
Will this be the month to put my heart to rest?
Oh how time drags when you wait for that sign.
Will my desires finally be mine?
Has He heard my prayers,has He answered my call?
Has He finally given me what I want most of all?
Only time will tell, and if it is a fail.
Tell me how can I go thru this hell.
Each day, each month, one at a time.
I feel as though I am out of my mind.
Will I ever have what I feel should be mine?
Teddi A.
Teddi A.
When the memories come back to me,
Leaving me longing to have you here.
I wonder why you no longer care.
I miss the way you used to hold me,
And your warm kisses on my lips.
Actions that say what words could not.
You found the key to my heart and now,
I feel like crying when I think of you.
Every now and then, each and every day.
Teddi A.
A feeling as though something were missing.
An unexplainable pain, a missing section in my life.
A joy in life feels as though its been ripped out of me.
But what?
What is this inside of me?
Teddi A.
With laughter as soft and inviting as
a choir, singing a wonderful hyme.
With a loving touch as tender and comforting
as a mother, with a newborn babe.
With precious thoughts of you daily
Remembering you, loving you, and missing you.
Sadly missed, but always fondly remembered by family,
and friends whos lives you touched.
These are just a few of our fondest memories of you
Teddi A.
A feeling as though something were missing.
An unexplainable pain, a missing section in my life.
A joy in life feels as though its been ripped out of me.
But what?
What is this inside of me?
Teddi A.
Like the blue sky above, the green grass below.
The scents of all the beautiful flowers at bloom.
The warmth of the summer sun.
The guiding light of a full moon.
The love and support of family.
The smile and laughter of a child.
Why is it that it takes something tragic
To make us remember these simple beauties?
Why is it we can't take time to see one each day?
They are all around us everyday, everywhere.
To remember what the sky looks like at sunrise.
To remember the feel of grass on bare feet.
To remember the intoxicating scent of wildflowers.
To remember the warmth of those lazy sunny summer days.
To remember the glow of a lovers full moon.
To remember the love and support of precious family.
To remember the unconditional love in a hug from a child.
These are questions I often stop and ask myself.
I often wonder if anyone else does the same.
I can't be the only one who feels this deep sadness.
To feel as if my spirit is broken.
To feel such despair for our souls
For my unseen angel, who is always there,
Giving precious guidance,yes I feel you here reminding me.
To take the time and find our innocences lost.
Teddi A.
But have you ever stopped to think what a lost soul really is?
Have you ever looked into a mirror and really really looked
inside those eyes looking back at you?
Did you like what you saw, or did you procrastinate about what you saw?
Oh you will do this or that to change what you saw in those eyes.
But you never seem to manage to change even the simplest thing.
Have you ever wept for no apparent reason?
Have you ever just needed something, not sure what or why.
But just felt something were missing and to find it would make everything right again
Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt alone and unheard?
Have you ever shared a bed, yet felt noone was there?
Have you ever hopped in the car to go somewhere, and ended up nowhere?
Some say we have no souls, you are here, you live, you die.
Some say that is life.
The next time you look in that mirror, look deep into those eyes.
There is more to life than to just exist.
To always run in circles trying to survive
That is no life, that is a lost soul.
Each dawn is a new beginning, each dusk is an end.
Between the two is life.
Are you living it as a lost soul?
Or are you living it for the simplisty of true life.
With each new beginning find your soul.
With each end set it free.
Not a lost soul for everyone elses demands.
Teddi A.
I wonder about you. I think about you.
Times I am afraid for you, other times I am amazed by you.
Here you are before me, in your purest form.
Yet at times I know not how to accept that.
One voice, words so simple, thoughts so pure.
I ask, Why me? Can I step up to the task?
Do I have the strenght? What if I fail you?
So many questions, so many fears.
Yet I find comfort in having you here.
One voice, words so simple, thoughts so pure
What path will this take us down?
Leaving behind the fumbles of yesterday.
Learning how to accept and live it today.
Looking forward to a brighter tomorrow.
One voice, words so simple, thoughts so pure.
Teddi A.
Each day is to be a new beginning
Each night to be an ending.
What comes between the two?
The worries, the stress, the battles
My husband, My children, My home
My life.
With each new day
I find myself looking in the mirror,
But not seeing.
With night, the end,
I find myself in solitude, looking inside and seeing
The worries, the stess, the battles
My husband, My children, My home,
My life.
Running around in circles.
Getting no where fast.
Dejevu we all do encounter,
The past meeting up with the last.
The worries, the stress, the battles
My husband, My children, My home
My life.
(written 5 am on 9-24-00)
Teddi A.
 Back |
 Next |
 |
 |
Our Adoption Story 
