Worf answers your Questions!

Q) How do you get your humans to groom you regularly?

A) I find that by continually getting burrs and twigs in my hair, my family works very diligently keeping me looking good .... my language skills are pretty good, but they still keep coming up with new words as they do the brushing.

Q) My humans seem to spend a lot of time talking to a thing they call a telephone. How do I get them to pay attention to ME.

A) I have often found that pretending to throw-up, centres attention my way .. very quickly.

Q) What other ways are there to get them to pay attention?

A) My personal hero is Eddie on Frasier! I find if I stare at them long enough, they eventually pay attention .... barking or growling is so declassé. Occasionally it is necessary to stand directly in their line of sight (the Television, much more difficult is the computer screen ... hence my hero Eddie).

Q) Can you explain their peculiar feeding habits. They seem to expect me to eat anything they give me.

A) No.

Q) Why do they spend so much time and praise teaching me mundane tricks like sitting up and (so degrading ...) begging; but yet when I do something spectacular such opening the fridge and retrieving food from the 3rd shelf ... they get all upset?

A) Some questions have no answer. For example I myself have watched them turn on the stove hundreds of times, ... but once when I accidently turned a knob on the front of the stove while investigating an interesting smell on a back burner ... they went ballistic. All you can do is love them, try to set a good example and hope for the best.

Q) What is your favourite toy?

A) My personal favourite is my dad ... there are so many ways to play him.

send questions to:

worf@innocent.com

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