A TALE OF TWO MATANYAS

I've been wanting to write this for a few weeks already. I guess subconsciously (and not so subconsciously) I've been putting it off. It is difficult to write, but very important.

As most of you remember, our Matanya was born a year ago (May 6, 2002). Thank God, he is growing beautifully, developing the just way a healthy baby boy is supposed to! Baruch Hashem again - you might also recall that he was born 6 weeks early and at less than 4 pounds! He is crawling, getting into everything he isn't supposed to, standing, cruising, talking up a storm ("Abba" and "Hadar" seem to be his favorite words - this week anyway), eating everything in sight (food - pizza, pasta, cheddar cheese, gefilte fish, cucumbers, Cheerios, etc.; dirt and anything left on the floor!), and all-in-all, marking his first birthday with greater achievements than we ever imagined. (Anyone wanting pictures can just email me and I will be happy - thrilled! - to send you a few.)

Matanya's name means "Gift of God" and this he truly is.

Today, in Israel, it is Yom HaZikaron - Memorial Day. Unlike Memorial Day in the USA, here it is very powerful. There isn't a family in Israel that is more than 'one degree of separation' away from an IDF soldier who was killed or a person who was killed in a terrorist attack. Looking at the faces of those sitting in the audience at the main national ceremony tonight at the Kotel, you see the entire Jewish world: young and old, Ashkenazi and Sephardi, religious and secular, etc. There have been 21,541 soldiers and security personnel killed since 1948. These past few years have been terribly horrific, including victims of terror, which are now officially part of Yom HaZikaron.

I want to tell you about one particular soldier, Matanya Robinson (may his memory be for a blessing). In the speech at our Matanya's brit milah, I mentioned that we had first seen the name "Matanya" in the headlines when Matanya Robinson was killed in the Battle of Jenin last April. It was a name we liked and it fit with our way of wanting to "commemorate this turbulent period, where a fallen hero's neshama (soul) is reborn in our son."

We attended Matanya Robinson's yahrzeit memorial service last week at Kibbutz Tirat Tzvi. Rena and I had discussed on the way there that we would be very careful not to speak our Matanya's name out loud, not wanting to offend or hurt someone's feelings. We knew it would be a difficult afternoon. We had been in touch with Reena and Mark Robinson during the year, but this day would be very intense.

The ceremony started at graveside with the recitation of Tehillim (Psalms) and the saying of Kaddish. In my estimation, some 500 people were in attendance. We then went to the Kibbutz synagogue to doven Mincha, and this was followed by a very special memorial program featuring speakers, slide shows of Matanya, Torah study and more. I couldn't help but think that the slide show of Matanya is supposed to be shown at his wedding, with all of the guests oohing, ahhing and laughing, but instead, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

We learned a lot about Matanya Robinson and we feel that it was indeed Providential that our Matanya has his name. He was a special person - having accomplished so much for someone soo young, just 21 years old. He was involved in Tzedaka work, community bridge building between various groups, he was warm and loving, full of integrity and truth, loved by and looked up by his four siblings. Quoting from a eulogy given at his funeral, "the phrase that best sums up Matanya Robinson is "his ways are ways of pleasantness, and all of his paths peaceful" (Heb: D'racheha Darchei Noam V'Chol Netivoteha Shalom", sung when returning the Torah to the Ark).

During the entire time we were there, numerous people - friends and family of the Robinsons - came over to us to see Matanya. They sought us out; introducing themselves, and making us feel so very welcome by embracing us. It was very heartwarming. The Robinsons and their extended family are very good people and we are better off for having made their acquaintance and becoming friends.

May Matanya Robinson's memory be for a blessing and may our Matanya be bestowed with the wonderful qualities of his soul.