She was my first dog. Sadie flew in from Spokane on a bitter cold Montana night. She was so tiny amidst the crate full of shredded newspaper, I thought at first the breeder forgot to send the dog. Then Sadie shook herself out, stepped out of the crate and piddled on the airport floor. It was a preview of coming attractions.

I didn't know anything about dogs. I'd always had cats so I just followed my heart and gave her everything she wanted. I created a monster.

So we went to obedience school. Sadie didn't much take to a leash and the choke chain definitely had to go. She stood stiff-legged and wouldn't move. Each time I gently tugged on the leash while saying "heel", Sadie threw up. We got thrown out of obedience school.

Maybe she needed a sister. So we got Rosie.

Sadie's favorite hobby: watching TV. When our doggy day care neighbor first told us Sadie loved to watch the ice skating, we thought she was nuts. Then we found out, she was right. Skating quickly took a back seat, however, once Sadie discovered animals appear on TV too. She barked at everything that crawled, swam, or flew. She could even pick them out of the cartoons.

Her favorite commercials were the "toilet duck" and the "Little Caesar's" ad (featuring the poodle doing the bunny hop.) She sat diligently and waited for them to appear. Her favorite show of all though (besides the Westminster Dog Show of course) was "Northern Exposure." As soon as the music started, she charged to the set, trembling with anticipation just waiting for the moose to stroll across the screen. When it appeared, (and it always did), she went ballistic!

Sadie was the epitome of every bad breeding horror story you've ever heard. Her medical problems were endless. She cost me a fortune. It didn't matter. She was my best friend. At age 5 she suffered stroke like symptoms and almost died. We took turns sitting around the clock with her day after day. Eventually she improved (what a trooper!), but Sadie lost the vision in her left eye and some use of her left limbs. No longer able to take long walks with us, but howling if left behind, the baby backpack was the perfect solution. She loved it.

Sadie accompanied me through the best and the worst years of my life: getting sober, changing jobs, the deaths of two grandparents, getting married (Sadie even came to our very formal wedding reception), moving, and the toughest chapter of all, losing my only brother to AIDS. Six months after Larry died in my arms, Sadie also slipped away at the age of 8. When she died too, I didn't think I could bear it, but a few things made it easier.

The night after Sadie died, I was begging for a "sign" that I'd made the right decision. I was still torn. I stared out at the cold dark sky hoping Sadie was warm and happy..somewhere.. (Sadie hated the cold.) Suddenly beautiful green lights danced across the sky. (I thought I was losing it.) I called my husband to the window. I was relieved when he gasped "wow, it's Northern Lights!" No moose, no theme song, but perfectly reminiscent of Sadie. I went to sleep holding the little green sweater she loved close to me and awoke the next morning to a wonderful surprise. The peace lily in our bedroom had bloomed for the first time. It bloomed again a second time on the first anniversary of her death.

Sadie had a very annoying habit of walking across the TV or VCR controls (usually just at the climax of the show.) The day after she died, I was watching the news when the TV suddenly clicked off. It was an automatic response to say "Sadie, stop it!" forgetting Sadie wasn't there. It happened every day for a week. I told my husband but he didn't believe me. Then it happened to him. (Hee Hee Hee.) Maybe she hung around a little longer until I was ready to say good bye.

Farewell Sadie, my little angel, see you at the Rainbow Bridge some day.

Love, Mom

Of course I got another Mini Schnauzer…meet Allie.