Many thanks to MightyCool quote of the day for many of the quotes here.
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"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
        - Anonymous

"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."
        - Ed Howe

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one."
        - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
        - Faith Whittlesey

"Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all."
- Unknown

"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
- Unknown

"Both of my marriages have been disappointments, my first wife left me and my second one didn't.
- Unknown

"You know the honeymoon is over, when you start to go out with the boys on wednesday nights, and so does she."
- Unknown

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"A set back is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."
        - Henry Ford

"It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise."
        - Nancy Thayer

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
        - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Without a struggle, there can be no progress."
        -Frederick Douglass

"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant."
        - Horace

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
         - Thomas Paine

"Great spirits have always encountered violent  opposition from mediocre minds."
        - Albert Einstein
 

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"It is better to have tried and failed, than to have failed to try."
        - Lance Null

"Tell me I forget, teach me I remember, involve me I learn."
        - Ben Franklin

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross  and which to burn."
        - David Russell

"The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand  as playing a poor hand well."
        - H. T. Leslie

"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit."
        - Aristotle

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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
        - Mitch Ratliffe

Turnaucka's Law:
        The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

"It is appallingly obvious that our technology exceeds our humanity."
        - Albert Einstein

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
        - Albert Einstein

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"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
       -Douglas Adams

"For a moment, nothing happened.  Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen."
      -Douglas Adams

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"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."
        - Nora Ephron

"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."
        - James Bond: Tomorrow Never Dies

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."
        - R. D. Lang

"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts."
        - Anonymous

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"Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs."
        - Malcolm Forbes

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go."
        - William Feather

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"Can I draw you a beer Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

"How's a beer sound Norm?"
"I dunno.  I usually finish them before they get a word in."

"What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

"What would you say to a nice beer Normie?"
"Going Down?"

"What's new Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam.  They've taken over my stomach, and they're demanding beer."

"What'll it be Normie?"
"Just the usual coach.  I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."

"What would you say to a beer Normie?"
"Daddy wuvs you."

"What'd you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'll you have Normie?"
"Well I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Oh, looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky!"

"What'd you say Norm?"
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."

"What'd you say to a beer Norm?"
"Hiya, sailor.  New in town?"

(Coming in from the rain) "Evening everybody" (Everybody) "Norm!"
"Still pouring Norm?"
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink.  And down it goes."

"Hey Norm, How's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"Would you like a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

"How's life treating you?"
"It's not, Sammy, but you can."

"What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"Hey, Mr Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."

"Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"Another layer for the winter, Wood."

"Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."

"Women, can't live with 'em.....pass the beer nuts."

"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one thirty."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

"What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer.  Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"How's about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

"What's going on Mr Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson?  A beer please, Woody."

(Woody) "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
(Norm) "A little early isn't it, Woody?"
(Woody) "For a beer?"
(Norm) "No, for stupid Questions."
 

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