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Pissed off? Can't take it anymore? Want the world to share in your pain?
Want to be glorified on a web page for shooters?
Ever thought seriously about taking out your rage by using guns or bombs against your school mates or teachers? If so, you're not alone. From Oregon to Kentucky to Virginia, others have been feeling the same.
So you're really pissed off, and you're wondering what I might have to say about it? Here's my advice: take a black marker and cross that option off your list. Shooting up your school is not the way you want to go. And why not?
The shooter's life is no picnic right now. School shooters cause major pain, not only to countless other people, but to themselves as well. And it's yourself that you're thinking of right now, isn't it? Then take my advice: choose another option - And Yes, there are other options to choose from.
If you're big and brave enough to use weapons against your school mates, then surely you've got enough courage to try a few other options, right?
Point Number One: Just because your life is royally screwed and almost everyone in your life is an asshole and the demons are eating away at you on the inside doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Even the darkest dungeons have a tunnel with a light at the end of it - that is, unless you do something really stupid. The key is finding the right tunnel that leads you out of your hellhole.
Lot's of people have been where you are, and have lived to tell about it. Some have even learned to laugh about it. Just because you can't see any light or hope doesn't mean there's no future for you.
Point Number Two: Okay - so maybe things will get better, but WHEN? It's no good sitting around and waiting for it, right? My advice to you is this: Business people do it when they want to get a major project off the ground. Movie producers do it. Musicians do it. Most everyone does it. And it's really quite simple: find some people who will help you get from Point A to Point B. Few people in our world reach their goals on their own.
If you're feeling down, that's not so abnormal. Letting someone help you get through it doesn't mean you're giving up control or admitting defeat or opening yourself up for trouble. Find an adult you can trust: perhaps a parent; perhaps a guidance counsellor or a teacher; perhaps a minister if you have one; perhaps a coach. Just take them aside one day and say, quite simply: Listen - there's something I'd like to talk out with you. It's really important. Is there a time that's okay with you?
There. That's all there is to it. And when you get your chance to talk with them, start off something like this: Listen - there's something that's bothering me, and I really wanted to talk it out with someone I could trust. I don't want to handle it on my own anymore. Maybe it's not a big thing, but it's a big thing to me. So I really appreciate your letting me get this off my chest, because it hurts so much that I think I'm going to burst.
And then just start talking. You've got someone's ear. You've got their trust. Let them help you work through this. It's a heck of a lot better than just exploding. I'm sure you could find a dozen shooters who'd tell you that they wish they'd just talked it out with someone instead of letting it eat out their insides. You think the adult won't understand or care. You think you'll shock the pants off them. You think they'll lock you up and call you crazy. Don't bet on it. Just say what you're feeling. Remember - most adults were once kids too!
Point Number Three: Stop feeding the fantasies. The more you keep yourself thinking about something, the more it eats at you. It's a simple rule. Make yourself find something else to think about. And if you're having thoughts about shooting someone, then stay away from the guns. It's as plain as that. Don't feed fantasies that you know will only cause pain.
Point Number Four: Take a few minutes to think about what someone else may be thinking and feeling and dreaming and hoping and wanting out of life. Try to get outside your own skin for a few minutes. I had a school mate once who really pissed me off, until one day - almost by accident - something happened to make me start wondering what life was like from his point of view. And you know, I started to see things about him that I hadn't seen before. If you walk a day in someone else's shoes, you start to feel differently about them. You may think they're out to get you - and maybe they are - but don't under-estimate a human's ability to change his mind about something. Kindness and showing interest in someone are great ways to change minds - including your own mind. The school mate and I ended up becoming friends for awhile, until we ended up in different schools.
Point Number Five: Make yourself do this one painful exercise. Think about the kids who were killed in the recent shootings. Find information about them and their families and their friends on the Internet or in the newspapers at your library. Try to really imagine what it's like to be on the receiving end of some kid's bullet, or to have someone you really care about killed in such a shooting. Think about it now, because it's too late to start thinking about it once you've pulled the trigger. At that point, the weight of the pain you've caused comes crushing down on your conscience like a ton of bricks, and there's nothing you can do to free yourself.
You've read this, and you're still not satisfied? It's just words? Remember - actions can change things - and not just angry, aggressive, violent actions either. You are not at the mercy of your angry obsessions. You have the ability to choose between doing something extremely negative and doing something constructive. That's true for all of us. Believe me, there is nothing special or powerful about being able to do mean things. We all have moments when we think of choosing the worst - but you don't prove anything by acting on those urges. It doesn't prove you're strong or in control or not to be screwed with. It proves nothing, because responding with violence is something everyone is capable of.
Sure, everyone has the right to be angry sometimes - but there comes a moment when you have to say Enough! and stop pitying yourself in order to start proving to yourself that you have the power to do something positive with your life. Turn off the negative energy. Get outside the four walls of your own mind, and find a way to bring other people into your world. Talk with someone, just as I've suggested. In fact, I dare you to bring someone else in to help with the thing that's pissing you off. If you want to send a message to people, does it really take so much more courage to talk with people than to send your message in a spray of bullets?
Yeah, I know you're afraid it will ruin your image. It's a sign of weakness. You're already pissed about the image they have of you, without doing something to make it worse. You want to send a message to them that you are not who they think you are - that you're not weak and gutless after all. You want to show them that you have a breaking point and they've crossed the line. Be sure you mention that to the adult you talk to. Tell the adult that you're sick and tired of being put down and pushed around and that you just want to stop being a victim. Shooting up your school only proves to people that you really are the victim that they thought you were. You want to do some real damage to your image? You want a losing image that you'll have to live with for the rest of your life? Think about that.
The irony is that, in order to change your image, you have to stop focusing on what people think of you. You have to start focusing on who you really are. Once you know who you are, people will begin to see a difference on the outside. Finding yourself is something that happens bit by bit, year by year - and adults can help show you things about yourself that you never knew before. As you grow more comfortable with yourself, your self-esteem grows - and you start to project a new sense of confidence and power.
True power is positive energy. The gunman has no power when his gun is finally wrestled away - but the truly powerful individual is powerful on his own, without any weapons to aid him. You want that kind of power? Then turn away from the negative thoughts that are keeping you down and making you weak and powerless and angry all the time.
I do not promise you everything will be perfect. But I can tell you from experience that you really can feel a whole lot better than you do now. Believe in yourself. Having a life to live is even better than having a sports car. With life, the possibilities are endless. Take control of your life. It's yours alone to live. See what you can do with it. Don't be a victim. Don't be a victim-maker. Be a survivor.
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