I am sure my story is not unlike many out there. I was given up for adoption as a newborn, and knew but one set of parents. Due to some revisions to the adoption act in the province I live in back in November 1996, my search for my birth mother looked like it would be something that was not so far out of my reach FINALLY !
I had always known I was adopted, don't have a memory of any specific day that my parents sat me down and told me. I was always curious, always wanted to look like someone, and I always wanted to have a baby brother. ( I was raised as an only child ) I remember asking my parents if they could just take one off a school bus I wanted one so bad. The way children rationalize things to get what they want !! *laughs*
I had recieved my non identifying information in 1990, but that really didn't give me much to go on search wise, but when the act changed in 1996, I was right there sending in my $50.00, to get what EVER information I could. The piece of paper arrived from the government, my registration for live birth, in February, 1997, and I don't think I will EVER forget that day. I stared at the envelope for sometime, then finally ripped it open.
I instantly started to cry, it was at that moment I got to see my birthmothers handwriting, her signature, her full name, and the name that she gave to me when I was born. It was as if a piece of the puzzle was put into place and it felt so good. It didn't take long, until we had located one of her brothers, and just when I thought the journey was over ... it had really just begun.
My birth aunt and uncle were very kind to me, and knew of my existence so it wasn't that much of a shock to them when they got the phone call. As with all reunions, you have to prepare yourself for anything. I really thought that I had, but I came to learn that I really hadn't. In February 1997, I learned that my birth mother had passed away in 1988, at the age of 44. This news was really more then I could handle, and it took me 2 years to move past that and onto the next bit of news that the birth aunt and uncle were kind enough to share with me.
During the next 2 years, I began to get involved as much as I could in the lobbying of adoption/human rights issues. I was SO angry that because of the laws in my country and province, I never had the opportunity to meet my birth mother. The choice was taken from both of us because of some law. Today, I still do what I can via email, and education. If you click on the ribbon below, you will go to the Canadopt web page. It has all sorts of resources for anyone who is searching.
Just when you would think that death would be the end, at least on the birthmother side of the search, they told me that she had a son 4 yrs after I was born. So, all my life of wanting a little brother, I finally HAD ONE !! It was a lot to take in, and took me almost 2 years to the day to decide that finding him was something I thought I was ready for. Now locating him was much tougher then I had ever expected. The actual search in itself is an amazing heartwarming story, feel free to email me and I would gladly share it, but for this page, I just wanted to leave you all with the end result. *smile*
On April 7th, 1999, I talked to my birth brother on the phone for the first time. He had NO idea I existed, and was quite in shock but so pleasant and kind. We had several phone calls, and on the evening on April 9th, 1999, I got to look into his eyes and hug this brother I longed for all my life *BIG smile* He is SO beautiful, inside and out really! It sometimes feels like a dream, there were times during the search that I never thought I would ever see even just a glimpse of him, let alone hug him.
So, for any of you out there searching, never give up on your dreams. Take the time you need and with some luck the laws will continue to change, and one day we will all have the right to know about our familes.
" I am too old to be told I am not allowed to know my mother and fathers names "
To read a poem a tribute to my the mom's in my life
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