Lack of moral standards and intolerance of others a man stated in another letter. That is how I have been feeling about the problem of violence in society as a whole. After the family the schools present a child with the most information about what society expects of them. I grew up in a household that did not have very high moral standards which led to abuse and neglect. I was born with an introverted personality, but abuse tends to worsen this introversion until it becomes a problem adapting socially. Things were a little different in school back then. I looked up to my teachers and what they were teaching, tolerance and respect for people and nature, generosity, and spirituality. These role models I believe were the solid ground under my feet that allowed me to grow up to reject my families lack of values. More than that, I eventually found my way to an even better role model, our father. What I see in the schools in somewhat different now.
The only value anyone feels safe to express is sacrificing ones life for careers. Children are expected to spend much more time doing homework and preparing for financial success as adults. More is expected of these children in the way of learning things sooner and having much more responsibility. Sure, learning responsibility is great, but these children are being asked to take on more responsibility than they are developmentally capable of. Teachers are angry and frustrated with the noncompliance of children who are overburdened. Parents are asked to alieviate the situation by making sure that the children do their homework and pay attention in class. Parents are frustrated and angry at the teachers because the children have little time for after school activities and just plain play. They are also upset with having to deal with the frustration and anger of students and teachers. Anger and frustration are very contagious!
Students that are having problems at home and are getting very little of what they need to be able to cope with lifes difficulties and frustrations at school as well. When I first began hearing about the school shootings, I discussed it with people who blamed the violence on "bad children". There was very little compassion expressed for these children. After all, they were children, not adults. They look to us for guidance. There is so much anger being felt and expressed at home and in the schools. I don't think anyone is taking the time to show them the way to peace and happiness.
Thank you so much for addressing an issue that people don't fight hard
enough for...
I have taught high school in an inner city public school and have been
absolutely stunned at the recent violence at schools in past years. At first
I thought, wow--this is happening in rural and suburban areas...I teach in
the inner city and have NEVER seen anything of this magnitude. Here's why I
think that is:
***Children who grow up in the inner city have been born into violence and
have seen the most horrible acts since they were babies. They grow up with
this, they see this, they internalize this. They live it EVERY DAY of their
lives.
They learn that they do not want to cause anymore violence then they already
see around them.
Sadly, many children regardless of demographic or geographic region, grow up
seeing this and internalizing it...
PARENTS NEED TO PARENTS and if you can't raise your child not to hurt and
kill other children, IT IS YOUR FAULT.
Children bring to school what they learn at home. Period.
Hello about school violence when I was in school there was one boy that caused
all kinds of trouble. because he knew he not get in much trouble. For only one reason his parents was on the school board.then one day he crossed hte wrong teacher and she put her foot down on the parents and the boy. After that he didn't cause any more trouble. So from thing like that i have seen I would say let the teachers have punishment control over the kids.And start on the parents.
I didn't act up in school because I knew what I would get.
I was
curious to read what others had to say about the violence in our children.I
will start by saying that I was a violent child.I never wanted to kill
anyone,but I understand how it could happen.Had it not been for my mother
caring enough to discipline me,and teach me right from wrong.I would have
turned out far worse than I did.And I think that discipline is a big problem
today.It wasn't the spankings that hurt me,it was the feeling i got when I
knew that I had upset my mother.Compassion and love starts at home.And if a
child doesn't feel it for his or her parents,i surely know that they aren't
going to feel it for a stranger.They aren't going to feel the pain they
cause to others and their families.and thats whats missing in our kids
today.I think that if a child could visualize the pain they caused before
they killed another child that they wouldn't do it.I'm sure that if the boys
in Columbine could have seen the aftermath of what they'd done they wouldn't
have done it.Not just the consequences,but the pain and suffering they
caused the families,even their own families.But if they've never known love
or compassion,how could they ever visualize the aftermath.It's as if our
children feel as if they have nothing to lose.And thats very sad.It sounds
like a contradiction,but i think discipline is the most important part of
raising children.I think a spanking now could stop future violence.Spanking
doesn't promote violence in children,it helps them to realize that what they
did was wrong,and that they were punished for it.
My thoughts, for what they are worth....
The debate on violence in the world, our countries and even our schools will only grow more heated. Does it make me sad? Yes, I suppose it does, only because I can accept it for being unavoidable and maybe even necessary. "It's necessary for our kids to kill one another?", you may ask. Well I think there is a larger picture with many factors that make this gruesome reality so. I can't help but to think that aggression is a natural trait for the human species. We would like to think we are so far removed from the animal kingdom. Why? Is it because we have developed verbal and written communication? Or that we live in cities with great technological wonders? I think the only thing that really seperates us from the animal kingdom is our imagination, the ability to visualize concepts and ideas that do not currently exist. This is not enough however to place us on a platform above our fellow animals. We have the same basic instincts as all animals plus a few from the predator classes. Aggression was born with man. As the population increases and society becomes more and more complex, the aggression becomes violence only because the reasons for it have become obsolete. We no longer have to hunt for food or defend our territories, but the natural instinct for aggression cannot be repressed. With no population control system at all, how can we expect to have a more peaceful society? There are not enough resources available to acheive this. So am I saying that kids should shoot each other to control population? No...but it is certainly effective. Am I saying a peaceful world is unobtainable? No...but the changes needed are so drastic, it will never be accomplished without great sacrafice. So what can we do? I am not educated and certainly haven't had to deal with violence directly like those parents in Colorado and other cities. I feel people are looking for somewhere to place the blame. The most popular targets are movies, video games, music and peers. These are all reflections of what man is. Some say that metal detectors should be in every school or guards. This is a good idea today. In the future, this will lead to a military state where the government controls our schools and probably even more. This can solve most of the random acts of violence, but who wants to live in a world like those we see only in science fiction movies? So after all of this, do I have any solutions? Well...
I do have several ideas but these are all very extreme and will certainly not be adapted any time soon. My point is that even if the world was as I wanted it to be, we could never escape certain natural laws. Society makes these acts of violence possible and the tighter we try to make the seal on violent acts, the worse these acts will become. To believe in a world where no man or woman has the desire to be aggressive towards another seems like a fantasy. Accept what we as a whole have created and love each other as much as possible every single day as if it were the last. DO NOT take for granted the day you have right now because you think another will certainly follow. We can not feel as if we are victims of this violence without feeling, as a whole, that we are also the creators of such. But I digress....
I am so grateful that I found your site. You are doing a great service to
all who happen across this URL. I, too, found you by looking for graphics
for my oldest son's school. Because of the fear my husband and I have of
sending our children to public school, we are struggling to send our two
boys to private school. The school requires so many hours of volunteer work
during the school year. And, since my husband and I both work for an
internet company, we offered to maintain their web site. (I will check into
putting a link on the new site.) I had been a stay-at-home mom until Sept
99. We made the decision a long time ago to home school if we were not in a
position to send our boys (6 and 4) to private school. Although, the public
schools here are very highly rated, and we live in a very well planned
community with over 100 churches in a town of 30,000 ppl, we realize that
similar tragedies can happen anywhere at anytime. I cherish my children and
my husband, and couldn't begin to imagine life without them. We, have
applied for financial aid for the 2000-2001 school year. My younger son
will be old enough to attend the private school next year, and we will not
be able to afford both tuitions. It truly saddens me that we feel that we
cannot send our children to public school. I was in high school less than
10 years ago and cannot believe that the violence has progressed this much
in such a short time. Thank you again for running this site. Now, I will
search for graphics. Your message caught my attention before I even browsed
the graphics site. Please, let me know if I can contribute. Want to add your thoughts? E-mail me. Thanks!