Once (or maybe more, you never know) there was a boy named Joseph and a girl named Moon. They were both twelve-years-old, and they never knew each other up until then. The most probable reason for this was that they lived so far apart from each other. Joseph lived near Portland, Oregon, right on the Pacific Ocean. Moon lived in Vermont, which wasn't quite that close to the Atlantic Ocean, but close enough.
Joseph had a loving family with a mom, a little brother, and a very attractive cat, but spent much of his time being rather unhappy. His father ran away when he was very young, which brought up several issues too psychologically complex to elaborate on. He was short, thin, and awkward, and had trouble making friends at school. He saw most of his classmates as morons, bullies, or "drones," as he liked to call them, not particularly interested in anything that wasn't perversely advertised on television. He was frequently pushed, prodded, and picked on by most people, and anyone who he could actually get along with usually turned out to be boring. Joseph had a very curious nature to him, and he often wondered about things that other people didn't seem to care about. He found the most happiness drawing silly little cartoon characters in his notebooks, and he also had a fascination for owls. He had a few books about them and often drew pictures of them, trying to make them look as realistic as possible. He thought that perhaps someday he might like to be an ornithologist and study owls. They never talked about owls or drawing in school, which contributed to his unhappiness there. Drawing was truly the one thing that made him forget his troubles, lose track of time, and simply enjoy himself.
One particular night in November, while sitting on his bed and looking at the full moon reflected silver on the ocean outside his window, he drew a picture of himself riding on the back of a giant white barn owl, with the moon glowing in the night sky background. He became very fond of this drawing and tacked it up on his wall, quite pleased with himself. He plopped down on his bed and looked at his drawing, and his eyes wandered up to the ceiling and out the window, and his mind wandered along with them. He was lonely, though not exactly depressed. There was something about his drawing that comforted him, and he lay there glancing at it now and then, and wondering about this strange existence he was in. He tried to figure out why people did so many silly, pointless, and often cruel things, and why anything he saw existed at all. He wondered if there was anything in the world that made sense, as he listened to the ocean breathing on the shore.
Moon lived in a small town with her parents, who were quite wealthy and very popular. Her father was the town pediatrician, and her mother ran her own catering business out of their house. The house was rarely quiet, what with the constant phone calls and the parties that Moon's parents would throw a few times a month. Moon felt that these parties were only held so her parents could show off their money. She was beginning to tire of dressing up and being charming for the swarm of self-obsessed, stinky party guests that gossiped and squealed. She grew exasperated as she walked around with her mother's catering trays, and watched them snatch up the food without even a notion of a "Thank you."
The only thing that made these home invasions worthwhile for Moon was when she got to sing for the guests. Many of them would continue whispering to each other while she sang, and it often seemed like just another ploy to impress them, so they would in turn be impressed by her parents, but Moon loved to sing so much that all of these annoyances seemed not to matter. She had a beautiful crystal-clear voice, and it made her feel proud. She wanted more than anything to be a singer when she grew up, but her parents, particularly her father, wanted her to be a doctor. Even though she was only twelve, her father was already networking with people he knew from M.Ed. school so she could possibly find a scholarship. Moon hated the idea of becoming a doctor, and any remarks about being a singer were quickly dismissed by her parents. They agreed that she did indeed have a lovely voice, but the excuse was always, "You'll never make any money doing it." There wasn't much else she could talk with her parents about, either. They were too wrapped up in their own lives and their own popularity, and Moon was always left alone and disappointed.
One particular night in November, when the first winter flurries of the season arrived in streaks outside the windows, Moon retired to her upstairs bedroom as another party continued its clamor. She had done her usual guest-greeting, appetizer-serving, and performing, and bid everyone good night, with an internal grumbling of "Good riddance" under her breath. She closed her door and quickly changed from her dress into sweatpants and a large blue sweatshirt her grandmother had bought her. She plopped down on her bed and watched the snow outside the window, her cheerful party mask fading away as she listening to the buzzing of the guests downstairs, sounding like a plague of locusts. She sighed deeply, lonely but not exactly depressed, for she thought she had sung rather well that night. Yet she still felt more and more like a status object than a person as her parents cooed and cackled. She wished she could sing for people who would actually appreciate it. Twisting the ends of her long brown hair with her fingers, she gazed at the snow with her green eyes and dreamed of being a singer.
That same night, as Joseph and Moon lay in their rooms, in a far away place never printed visibly on any map, there were a great many strange noises coming from inside a tree house that hung by a glass chain from a large branch. The house was rectangular and covered with clam shells, and there were no visible doors or windows as such, just a lobster tacked to one side of it on which the word "REBUS" was written in dyed honeydew. The house swayed back and forth in the wind, and from inside a voice could be heard, saying, "Creep! My bucket in the flaming newt!" There was a sound of breaking glass and something resembling a donkey, and red smoke began to leak out from the gaps between the shells.
Joseph stared at the light fixture on his ceiling and wondered who had designed and manufactured it, and what that person could possibly have been doing at that very moment. His eyes began to get heavy from so much wondering, when suddenly the light fixture twisted into the shape of a trumpet and blasted a shrill C-sharp. The sound gave Joseph a jolt through his spine, and before he could even really react to it and wonder what was going on, there was a loud SNAP! from his dresser. The top of the dresser flew open and out jumped a large snapping turtle that began to bounce around the room.
Moon continued to watch the snow and hummed softly to herself, and felt very relaxed and comfortable lying on her soft bed. Then out of nowhere came a sound like rustling leaves, which got louder and louder, until it drowned out the sounds from the party downstairs. Moon became very confused and gradually alarmed as the noise grew and grew, until a scarecrow popped out from underneath the rug and clucked like a chicken.
Joseph froze, shocked and beyond bewildered as the turtle hopped around violently, and his whole room began to twist and distort into odd shapes and unnatural contortions, while he remained the same shape. The room began humming, and the ceiling turned to wax which started to drip onto the rows of watermelons that grew out of the floor. Joseph wanted to scream but he was too confused to even know how, as the room convulsed and gyrated.
More scarecrows popped out from every corner of the room as Moon tried to scream, but could not hear or feel her voice against the incessant din of leaves. The walls began to shake and roses began blooming horizontally from them, and a giraffe appeared in the mirror. Suddenly, five silken threads lowered from the ceiling right above Moon, and attached themselves to her wrists, ankles, and the top of her head, and proceeded to pull her up, a terrified marionette, screaming as she was yanked right through the ceiling, and everything went black.
Joseph sat in disbelief as his room continued to quiver and strange furry animals grew from the walls, and he was just about to yell for help when his bed began to tilt up and forward, causing him to slide off. He frantically grabbed at his sheets to try and stop himself, but he lost control when several tentacles with suction cups emerged from a gaping hole in the floor and affixed themselves to him. Joseph's grip gave out and he was pulled sharply through the floor, and everything went black.
The greenish haze lifted from Joseph's adjusting eyes, and as he sat there in utter bewilderment, he saw that he was now in a vast desert with palm trees scattered widely for miles around. He slowly stood up, whirled around and noticed that his room, even his house, was gone. He was totally isolated in a wide open space, and a chilly one at that. A mild cool wind brushed over his short-sleeved arms and through his blond hair, and he could even feel the chill of the golden sand seeping through his socks. He thought it strange that a desert should be cold rather than hot, and thought it even stranger that he was even there in the first place. This has to be a dream, he thought, except that he felt quite awake. He looked around and noticed that hovering above him in the bluish sky was not the sun, but a large pumpkin that radiated with a warm, friendly glow. Upon a closer look at the many palm trees around him, he saw there were white bats flitting and dancing through them. Taking this all in, Joseph naturally became very confused. He looked down and noticed that his drawing of himself riding on the owl's back was on the ground by his feet. It must have fell into the hole with me, he thought. He picked it up and brushed the sand off it, rolled it up carefully and slid it into his back jeans pocket. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of singing behind him.
Moon was dropped onto a hard surface, landing on her feet. She felt the strings detach and didn't even see where they went to after that, for as she pulled herself up and looked around, she couldn't believe what she saw. She was in a huge palace hall, all made of stone that had a greenish tint to it. There were massive pillars that held up a cantilevered ceiling from which hung the most beautiful and intricate chandeliers Moon had ever seen. There were banners and streamers hung everywhere, all in the most vivid colors imaginable, and Moon was so stunned by the beauty of it all that she barely had a moment to wonder where she was or what she was doing there. Suddenly she noticed that the streamers were being put up by a scattered variety of people who were all staring at her. She froze, feeling confused and embarrassed, and she had to stifle a little shout of amazement as a seemingly human figure with a head of a bear came up to her and asked, "May I help you, my dear?"
Joseph turned around quickly at the sound of the singing and couldn't believe what he saw. Strutting towards him from a few yards away was a peculiar-looking crane. But this was not like any crane he'd ever seen in any of his bird books or on a nature walk with his family. This crane had huge, oval-shaped spectacles and a long curly mustache, like an ancient Chinaman. He wore a brown derby hat, a floppy gray trench coat, and big brown shoes that looked all the bigger at the bottom of his spindly legs. He walked along happily, bobbing his head as cranes often do, and sang in a bouncy voice:
"Oh, the silly boing will be hmm hmm,
Da dum dum hmm hmm boing ,
To dum dumm be dum silly,
Da doo boing hmm hmm boing...WAA!"
Upon saying "WAA!" he stopped suddenly in his tracks and saw Joseph.
"Ah, hello there!" he said with a tip of his hat. "Are you on your way to the Festival as well?"
Nothing coherent could escape Joseph's tongue, as he was totally dumbfounded at the concept of a talking crane, but starting to be intrigued by the whole situation. The crane eyed him quizzically, but didn't seem threatening, so Joseph stammered a reply, "I don't know."
"Well, make up yer mind!" said the crane. "It won't last forever! C'mon, let's go before the pumpkin sets!"
"Go where?" asked Joseph.
"To the Festival! You know, at Castle Greenspoon! Food, music, silliness, and belching rabbits! Didn't you go last year?"
Joseph replied, "Well, no, of course not."
The crane tilted his head and toyed with his mustache. He hummed to himself and asked, "Which tree are you from?"
Joseph was puzzled. "Which what?"
"Tree," The crane paused. "I know! You must be from the Poople-Biffy Tree! Plenty of boys there your age. Nice area, too. Lovely plums. What is your name?"
"Joseph."
The crane waved his sleeved wing at Joseph frantically as if he were miles away. "Joseph of Poople-Biffy, hi! I'm Confucius Confusion, and I'm from the Spattle-tah-Pluff Tree. Have you ever been there?"
Joseph shook his head. "I don't even know where I am now, or how I got here."
"How you got here?" the crane retorted. "Out of an egg, like everyone else, I would think. Anyway, right now you're in the Zuppaton Ocean."
"Ocean?" Joseph said in surprise. "But this looks like a desert to me."
Confucius looked baffled. "No, if it was a desert, we'd be rather wet. Unless it was the Foonin Desert, then we'd be wet and sticky. And if it was the Desert of the Ramalakks, we'd have spiders throwing up on our heads, but not if it was a Sunday."
What does one say to that? Joseph thought and sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm very confused."
"Good!" Confucius exploded. "We'll get along just fine, then. On to the Festival!"
Moon didn't mind being the center of attention when she sang, but this made her uncomfortable. The bear/human thing stared at her and somehow she uttered the word, "Um..."
"The children are playing outside," explained the bear/human thing. "Or did you wish to help with the food?"
Moon looked around and saw that there were several tables in the hall adorned with the most colorful and succulent-looking array of food she'd ever seen, far more lush than her mother's catering trays. Piles of fruits, cheeses, and dishes she couldn't even recognize, and upon acknowledging their existence the most sweetest of smells reached Moon's nose and gave her a warm chill. She felt the gazes of the curious onlookers and was given to a hesitant reply, "Um, I suppose, I mean, I really don't know, I--"
"What's all this then?" A brash voice interrupted.
Moon turned and saw a very tall man coming towards her. He wore a huge blue robe and a hat with a feather in it. His face seemed friendly enough, with wide deep set eyes and a goatee that tapered slightly off his chin. He glared down at Moon and said, "I say, young lady, I don't believe I've seen you in these parts before."
Moon stammered, "Well...no, I suppose not."
"Are you from one of the trees outside Zuppaton?" asked the tall man.
"No, I'm afraid not," answered Moon. "I was simply lying in my bed when my room started changing, and somehow I ended up here."
"Changing?" the man replied, with one eyebrow perking up. "How do you mean 'changing?'"
Moon explained about the scarecrows and the roses growing out of the wall, and of turning into a marionette. The tall man sighed, shook his head and mumbled, "Rebus."
He then returned his attention to Moon and gave a rather weak bow. "Well, my child, welcome to Castle Greenspoon. Chamberlain Villibus at your service, and you would be...?"
"Moon," she replied with a little curtsy. She noticed that most of the people in the hall had returned to bustling about and setting up food and streamers, as had the bear/human thing. She was still rather perplexed as to what was going on, but she was glad to have someone here to explain where she was.
"Well, Moon, I say you've certainly arrived at an exciting time, albeit a hectic one for me," said Villibus, distracted and rolling his eyes. "For once all of these preparations are through, I can actually relax and enjoy myself. Anyway, we're preparing for our annual Festival, although unfortunately King Greenspoon won't be here to join us this year. He's on a quest with his army of knights, and he's been a bit out of touch recently, a little delayed in returning. But no matter, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Now if you'll excuse me, young lady, I have so much to do, so I'll have to tend to you later."
"Tend to me, sir?" questioned Moon.
Villibus was on his way out of the hall. "Yes, you know, try to find Rebus in case you want to go back, but I haven't the time right now, too much to do. Besides, it wouldn't do much good to find Rebus without the King here. Ta!"
"No, wait!" Moon ran out of the hall after Villibus, for she felt that he was the only one who could help her understand why she was there and what she should do. She still had no idea how she ended up at the castle or how long she would be there, and she couldn't help but think that her parents would get worried finding her gone. She stopped in her tracks upon stepping outside, for the things she saw made her forget all about her parents and about Villibus, who had disappeared.
Moon was now standing in a vast outdoor square fenced in by the giant stone walls of the castle. Before her was the most bizarre collection of creatures and activity she had ever seen. A row of beasts with bodies like elephants and heads like flamingos was being led along by a lizard in a tuxedo. A giant fox with six human-like arms and hands wandered about the square on the back of a large scaly serpent. A group of acrobats in glowing suits swung about from tall poles that shot fireworks out from spheres on top of them. There were all sorts of human figures both with human heads and animal heads walking about, and children running and laughing. The whole square was just buzzing with merriment and movement. Moon thought, I have to be dreaming all this, but I've never felt so awake in a dream before.
Suddenly, her attention was diverted by music, an upbeat kind of music that instantly struck a chord in her soul. Something just drew her to it, and he headed off in the direction from which it came. She delighted as she came upon a small band of minstrels, the oddest minstrels she'd ever seen, to be sure. They weren't exactly human, yet they didn't look like any animals she'd ever seen. There was a tall, thin creature with a long-shaped head, a spiny nose, and two pointed horns, who played a kind of flute with a tiny rasp to it, the fingers on his three hands dancing about on the holes. A shorter, squatted creature who was almost completely covered in green bushy hair, except for a bulbous nose and a wide grin, strummed a stringed instrument much like a guitar but with a greater variety of strings and sounds. Another creature who resembled a cat with smoothed-out black-and-white fur and huge bulging eyes slapped its flippers on a row of different sized drums. They all wore black leisure suits, and there were several children in togas dancing about to their music.
Moon soon found herself to be dancing a bit as the music swelled up and gave her warm chills through her bones. The drummer creature noticed her and its huge eyes rolled around as a grin flashed across its face. Moon laughed as the music grew and grew, and before she knew it she was dancing with the children. All of her confusion and concerns dropped away. Naturally she began to sing along with the music as it moved her soul along with her body. She barely knew if she was singing any words or making any sense at all, but it didn't matter. She eventually found herself right next to the minstrels, who nodded and grooved in approval at the sound of her voice. More people began listening, and Moon was aware of the attention but lost in the splendor of the music. The energy of the crowd and the dancing and the music was intoxicating. And as the people danced and sang, and the entire castle was buzzing as the Festival began to get underway, Villibus caught a glimpse of Moon singing with the minstrels, rolled his eyes and shook his head. Suddenly there was a huge clap of thunder, and the music stopped for a moment.
Joseph followed Confucius along on his way across the Zuppaton Ocean, mostly because he had nothing else to do and nobody else around to explain to him how he ended up there. The crane seemed to be very friendly anyway, much more so than his classmates. Besides, Joseph did have a very curious nature, and often wondered where things came from and why things were the way they were, and this whole experience had him stumped, so he wanted to find out as much as he could.
He knew that he would have to find a way back home at some point, for his family would begin to wonder where he was. He thought maybe Confucius would know about such things, and he was just about to ask him when a huge clap of thunder interrupted both of their thoughts, and made them stop walking. The vibrations could still be felt for several seconds after the sound had faded off.
"Wow, that hasn't happened in awhile," said Confucius, looking at the sky, which was clear and cloudless. Joseph wondered how there could've been thunder that loud on a clear day.
"What, the thunder?" he questioned.
"Yeah, Sebwulf sets it off whenever anyone gets through one of his contraption-thingies." replied Confucius, who resumed walking.
Joseph followed. "Contraption-what?"
"You know, that...oh, I don't remember what he calls it now. Anyway, nobody's even dared to tackle that thing in months. Should make quite a few headlines, I reckon. Well, the road's not that far off now."
"What road?" asked Joseph, who was still trying to figure out what Confucius was talking about.
"Crazy Road, of course," said the crane. "Unfortunately it's the road most people have to take to get to the castle. It's crazy. I've had a terrible time with it in the past. Missed the Festival a few years in a row because of it. But my Uncle Charlie gave me a few tips and suggestibles, so I can usually get across it easily now. It seems to get worse every year, though, and longer."
Joseph said, "You're a bird. Can't you just fly to the castle?"
Confucius thought for a minute. "That means I'd have to take my coat off, and my coat is where I keep all my stuff. Here, have a mango."
The crane pulled a carrot out of his pocket and handed it to Joseph.
"It's a carrot." said Joseph, rather confused.
"No, it's a mango from the Fizzle's garden. Try it!" Confucius smiled as he pulled another one out and popped it into his beak.
Joseph reluctantly took a bite of the mango/carrot and noticed that it did indeed taste like a mango, one that had been dipped in lots of sugar. It was so good that he wolfed down the whole thing, and he was convinced it had to be the most filling snack he ever had. He thanked Confucius, who had started singing again as they trotted along. The mango had lifted Joseph's spirits quite a bit and he grew rather fond of his new companion, yet he still knew that he would have to get home, especially before anyone noticed he was missing.
After walking a few more miles, he was just about to ask Confucius how he could get home, when Confucius stopped and said, "Here we are!" Seemingly out of nowhere they came to a long paved road that stretched out before them all the way to the horizon, and a sign stood next to them that said "ROAD."
There doesn't seem to be anything outwardly crazy about this road, thought Joseph. He looked at Confucius, who was carefully balancing on one foot and dipping the toe of his shoe onto the surface of the road as if it were water, as if he were testing to see how cold it was. He then turned and looked at Joseph, and replied, "OK, stay close to me and try not to talk to anyone."
Joseph cautiously replied, "OK" but didn't understand. He didn't see what was so dangerous about the road, and seemingly there was no one around for miles to talk to. He began to see how his new companion got his name, for almost everything he said confused him. Nevertheless, he got close to the crane, who was poised at the edge of the road with his foot hovering over it.
"Ready..." he whispered, hesitating for several seconds. "Go!"
Joseph and Confucius stepped onto the road, and instantly there were all sorts of creatures popping up from both sides, accompanied by a dreadful din. Confucius began walking at a brick pace, and Joseph had to grab onto his trench coat just so he could keep up. He looked around and could hardly process everything he saw, for the crane pulled him along so quickly that most things went by in a blur. He made out a few things, and could see more things clearer as they proceeded further down the road. There were all sorts of ordinary looking people interspersed among grotesque and twisted beasts, and they were all doing the most bizarre and sometimes hideous things to themselves, or to each other. Joseph felt overwhelmed but always curious, so he asked Confucius, "Who or what are all these people?"
Confucius replied, without removing his eyes from looking straight ahead, "Crazies. Regg'ler folks who got stuck on this road. It's very hard for them to become unstuck, so most of them don't even try. Occasionally you hear about someone unsticking themselves, but it can be as rare a thing as thunder. The most twisted ones have been here the longest. Those things to your left are the Alltalks."
Joseph looked to his left and saw nothing, then looked to his right and saw a group of creatures who were rooted to the ground and whose mouths had grown to be bigger than their heads, and they were all jabbering away incessantly. Further down the road on both sides were a group of creatures who ran around in circles so fast that they appeared as rapid blurs of movement, and another group who were continually hitting themselves on the head with large hammers, and some of them were punching each other in their chests.
"And who are they?"asked Joseph.
"Duck! Noz-e-Vultures!" shouted Confucius.
Joseph covered his head as a group of vultures swooped down over them. They held light bulbs in their talons which flashed and popped with a terrible intensity. Joseph kept up with Confucius as best he could, and they ran along dodging the giant birds until they were stopped in their tracks by a man who stood in the road, blocking it. They looked up and saw that he had a penny for a head, and the engraving of Abraham Lincoln stared down at them smiling, and said, "Pay!"
"Oh geez, I forgot about this," sighed Confucius, who pulled a couple of feathers from this left wing, handed to the man, and winced. The man took the feathers, swallowed them whole, and slapped Confucius across the face, then hopped away.
"Let's go," said Confucius.
As they continued down the road and dodged a flock of sloths, Joseph asked who the man was. The crane replied, "He collects the toll for the road."
"Your feathers?" asked Joseph.
"It's OK, they'll grow back by next year." said Confucius.
Joseph wondered, "Was I supposed to pay a toll, too?"
Confucius thought for a minute. "Hey, I guess you didn't have to pay, did you? That's strange. I betcha he didn't even see you. Well, consider yourself lucky. Looks like things are calming down a bit. We'd better rest 'til tomorrow."
They walked off the road and everything quieted down. There were no more creatures in sight, only the road against the sand, and on the distant horizon they could see a black clump of trees. Confucius and Joseph sat down on the golden sand. The crane gave the boy another mango, and after they sat there eating for awhile, he folded his spindly legs underneath him and went to sleep.
Joseph was still confused as to exactly where he was and had some trouble fully grasping the reality of it all, but since it most likely was reality, as far as he knew, he tried to accept it as if it were, and then began to softly question it in his mind. There was so much he didn't understand, yet the solitude of the sand and the taste of the mango, along with the confusing companionship of his bird friend gave him enough comfort to relax a bit, and he felt himself getting sleepy as he gazed at the pumpkin in the sky and wondered where it came from. Eventually he remembered that he still had to get home somehow, and he pondered the idea of waking Confucius and asking him if he knew how. Suddenly, the pumpkin fell sharply behind the horizon and the sky went pitch black, and with a crackle and a pop the stars swept across the sky like a billion gunshots, and it was night. Pretty fast dusk, thought Joseph, who found this very curious and amazing, and after gazing at the stars for awhile he noticed there was no moon. He looked at Confucius, who looked so peaceful that he decided not to wake him, for the stars were telling him to sleep, too.
At Castle Greenspoon, preparations were almost finished and the Festival was well underway. People began coming from all over the many distant lands, and they were all greeted warmly by Villibus and the Royal Guards. The entire square was teeming with all sorts of performers, merchants, and several artists who came to sell their work. Moon had found her place as a singer with the minstrels, and she delighted all who listened. The minstrels even found her a black dress to wear. Moon was very happy, and if this whole experience really was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.
This audience doesn't gossip while I sing, she thought, and the food was even better than her mother's, though she didn't like to admit it.
The minstrels took a short break and Moon sat down to talk with the flute player, whose name was Festus.
"Thank you so much for letting me sing with you, Festus." she said.
"Child, you gots a voice that could make thez flowers bloom!" replied Festus, who talked with his three hands as much as he did with his voice. "You gots a gift! Which tree you from, anyway?"
Moon was puzzled. "Well, I'm not exactly from a tree, in fact it was rather peculiar the way I got here. I suppose I'd have to figure out how to get back eventually, but I'm enjoying this place way too much."
Festus smiled. "Well, you stay as long as you like. Ya never know where singin'll take yez. You may never to back home at all."
"Never?" asked Moon, a bit concerned.
"Child, once you find your road, it's a one way street." said Festus. "I ain't been home in a long, long time."
Moon grew worried and felt a bit torn. She knew she probably wouldn't be able to stay, for Villibus had even mentioned something about sending her back, and someone named "Rebus." And even though her parents didn't seem to care about her most of the time, she knew they would miss her somehow. Yet where would she ever find minstrels, music, and an audience like this in her world? She decided to change the subject, but it turned out to be something else that confused her just as much.
"Festus," she asked. "Why did everyone freeze when that thunder went off?"
"Oh, that's cuz we hadn't heard it in awhile, that's all," the minstrel replied. "Just means Sebwulf's been kicked in the rear again, good riddance to 'im."
"Who's Sebwulf?" asked Moon.
They were then interrupted by another loud clap of thunder, only this time it was accompanied by a huge black cloud that formed over the castle square. The crowd panicked and ran for cover as sheets of rain began to fall from the cloud into the center of the square.
"Sebwulf!" gasped Festus. Moon became confused and a little scared. Everyone seemed to be in a fit of terror.
Suddenly, a slew of thin figures dropped out of the cloud, and upon their landing, Moon saw that they were monkeys, monkeys the size of humans, with silver fur and black faces. Their faces could only really be seen when they came close, so from a distance they appeared to have no faces at all, just black masks, which made them look much more terrifying. The monkeys shrieked with an awful sound, dancing around the square and frightening the children. Finally there was a flash of lightning from the raincloud, and a monkey materialized that was twice as big as the others. He wore a red cape that snapped violently in the wind, and as he glared down at the people with terrible yellow eyes, a sharp frown grew on his face.
Moon trembled. "Is that Sebwulf?"
Festus replied, "Yes, he's the evil Monkey King who lives in thez mountains beyond Ink Forest! What could he be doing here?"
Sebwulf hissed like a snake and the monkeys all ceased their running and screaming. The rain decreased to a drizzle as the castle villagers and performers trembled before the evil Monkey King, who in a painful voice said, "Your king has made me angry, my friends."
Villibus stepped forward and exclaimed, "You have no right to interfere with our Festival, Sebwulf! The people of these collected lands sent you away long ago! You should stay there!"
"Not when you people keep interfering with my work, Villibus!" bellowed Sebwulf. "I'm quite the legend around here, aren't I? Whenever some smart one actually gets through my machines, Sebwulf gets angry, sets off a thunderbolt, and everyone sleeps better at night, is that it?"
Villibus answered, "Your deeds will never destroy what we hold dear, Sebwulf!"
The Monkey King laughed, "Well, sorry my friend, but you can't defend this castle alone, and it just so happens that because of your king's meddling, you are to be punished, not to mention tragically short an entire legion of soldiers."
"What do you mean?" Villibus asked, a bit alarmed.
Sebwulf turned his attention to everyone in the square. "Friends, your King Greenspoon will not be returning from his quest. His Majesty, along with his entire army of knights, lies captive in the depths of Ink Forest. Even now the Vampyr Dragons are killing them slowly. Sorry to put a damper on your fun, but life's not fair, is it?"
Gasps of fear spread throughout the crowd as the monkeys cackled, and Moon felt her hands shake and her palms sweat. Sebwulf lifted his hands from underneath his cape, and revealed his massive claws.
He croaked, "So now, music makers, strike up a tune, for I give you a curse to make matters worse!"
Flashes of lightning crackled between his fingertips, which sent a surge of energy rushing through the square, and the people froze. As the energy passed through them, the acrobats and performers found that their joints were swelling up and they could barely move without stinging pain. The painters and sculptors found their brushes and chisels were turning to powder and their artwork crumbled to dust. The minstrels' instruments caught fire and burned to ashes in seconds, and Moon gasped in terror when she realized what was happening. Everything that allowed the people to do what they loved to do was being destroyed. Even mothers and fathers who loved to play with their children were separated by walls of thorns, and lovers who loved to hold each other were repelled like identical sides of a magnet. Moon suddenly realized what this meant for her, and she tried to sing. All that she could possibly utter from her throat was a hollow croaking like a frog, and her heart was crushed. She began to hope that this was in fact just a dream, but it felt all too horribly real.
Sebwulf laughed a terrible laugh as he watched everyone in torment, and with a final snap of his claws, the energy surge stopped and the entire square was left unable to sing or dance or do whatever they wished. They were paralyzed and crippled. With a wave of his cape and a flash of lightning, Sebwulf and the monkeys disappeared into the cloud. When the cloud disappeared, the pumpkin dropped, the stars shot across the sky, and a great despair swept over the castle.
Night passed, and the stars disappeared as the pumpkin shot rapidly back into the sky. Joseph slowly woke up from deep sleep to find that Confucius was already awake and hopping about in circles on the sand.
"Ah, good morning, my friend!" he jingled. "Just doing my morning exorcism!"
Joseph brushed the sand off his shirt and said, "Don't you mean exercises?"
Confucius replied, "No, I mean exorcism. Be gone!"
The crane made one final hop and rustled his wings, and several little goblins and sprites fell out of his trench coat onto the sand, where they dissolved in the light of the pumpkin.
"Little buggers crawl all over you at night." he said, adjusting his hat and coat. "Better make sure you drive out your demons too, or you'll really have a rotten day."
Joseph was a bit unsure about all of this, but as he stood up he did feel a bit heavy and groggy, as he often did in the morning. So he hopped around like Confucius had done, and like Confucius he jumped high in the air and yelled, "Be gone!"
Sure enough, several tiny creatures fell from his shirt, his hair, even out of his ears, screaming to their deaths onto the sand. Joseph smiled at Confucius, who tossed him a mango.
They set their feet on the road and continued their brisk walk past the crazies, who seemed to get more and more grotesque and violent. There were creatures who were being squeezed and twisted like towels until they were practically stick figures, and others who were inflating themselves with pumps until they exploded.
Finally, in the distance they saw the Castle Greenspoon, and Confucius and Joseph yelled with delight as they accelerated their pace to a run. Joseph was very excited about the Festival from all that Confucius had told him about it, and he seemed to have almost forgotten about his concerns for getting home. Despite the confusing things he'd seen in this land, it was certainly more interesting than school and Confucius was already the best friend he'd ever had.
As they approached the drawbridge of the green-tinted castle, the road ended and they stopped to catch their breath. Confucius became puzzled.
"That's strange," he said. "Where is everybody? The Festival had to have at least started last night, so there should be tons of people here."
Joseph became curious. He figured and hoped that all was well, somehow or other. He walked with Confucius across the drawbridge to the door.
"Hello?" shouted the crane. "Anybody home?"
"Maybe we're early," suggested Joseph.
"We couldn't be, I don't think," said Confucius. "The pumpkin's been up for hours now."
They both pushed on the giant door and it opened with a dull creak. The castle was very quiet, and as Joseph and Confucius entered the corridor leading to the great hall, they wondered if perhaps the Festival had been canceled this year. Confucius certainly hoped not, for he had such a grand time the year before.
They entered the great hall, and although the streamers were hung and the tables were adorned with food, it was full of people crouched over, sad and weary, and a few of them were even crying. Joseph and Confucius were shocked and alarmed. They couldn't understand what possibly could have happened. Confucius spotted Villibus stooped over on the King's throne looking at a sleeping dog on the floor.
"Villibus!" he shouted, approaching the throne. "Remember me? Confucius Confusion from last year? I won the song-writing contest!"
Villibus looked at the crane with moist eyes. "Oh yes, Confucius, I remember you. How've you been? Well, afraid no contest this time, old chap. No contests ever again. No festival. Sorry, old chap."
"But why?" asked Confucius.
Villibus explained about the curse that Sebwulf had put upon the castle.
"I used to love playing fetch with my dog, Collarbone." he continued. "Now he's asleep and can't wake up. I can't even pet him."
He reached down towards Collarbone and a spiked cage appeared around him, then disappeared as Villibus took his hand away.
"It's the same for everyone," he said. "What's worse, we can't eat what we like, and we can't sleep, which means we can't dream. We're doomed to perish, I believe. But you fellows aren't cursed, of course, so feel free to partake of the food if you wish. It will only go to waste."
Confucius and Joseph's hearts sank, and neither of them had the slightest idea what to do or say. Joseph felt sorry for Villibus and the rest of the castle. He thought about how awful he would feel if he suddenly couldn't draw. He glanced sadly around the hall, and that's when he noticed Moon sitting against the wall with the minstrels. Joseph was captivated, either because of Moon's natural beauty, or the fact that they both came from the same world and there may have been some cosmic attraction because of that, but it was most likely a combination of the two.
Moon sat looking at the floor with tears streaming down her face, and Joseph approached her. He hesitated, trying to find something comforting to say, and uttered, "I'm sorry about what's happened."
At the sound of Joseph's voice, Moon was startled and looked up, and her teary gaze hit Joseph's concerned blue eyes. At that moment there was an invisible cosmic spark between blue and green, and a hesitation as time slowed down a glimmer of a notch. Joseph offered a shy and reassuring smile and introduced himself. Moon sniffled and did the same. She noticed that Joseph was wearing jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, which was normal back home but not seen anywhere in this land. Puzzled, she asked, "You're not from this land, are you?"
Joseph replied, "No, actually it was rather strange how I got here."
"Tell me," pleaded Moon.
They exchanged stories about how their rooms had shaken and twisted, and learned about where they had come from, and they were excited to learn that neither of them were alone in this strange world. They also both knew deep down that somehow they would have to find a way back home.
"But I can't go back now," cried Moon. "If I can't sing, I will have nothing! I'll end up becoming a doctor or some other wretched thing, and will never sing ever again!" She tried not to burst into tears.
Joseph felt a sympathy for Moon that he had never really felt for anyone before. He turned to Villibus, who was reminiscing of Festivals past with Confucius, and asked, "Mr. Villibus, sir, isn't there anyway to lift this curse?"
Villibus looked at Joseph standing next to Moon, and whatever connection had occurred between the two of them Villibus must have caught a glimpse of, and he hesitated for a moment.
"Young man, just how did you get here?" asked Villibus anxiously. "Not to this castle, but to this world?"
Joseph's explanation was on the tip of his tongue when Villibus stood up and interrupted him, "A bunch of scarecrows, marionette strings, stuff like that?"
"No, not exactly," replied Joseph. "I was pulled through a hole in the floor by an octopus or something." Strangely enough, after all that Joseph had seen and been through already, that actually made sense to him.
Villibus realized that Joseph and Moon had entered their world in almost the same way at approximately the same time, and it sparked a memory in his head that he knew meant something important, a prophecy of some sort, and although he couldn't remember every detail, he knew that the welfare of the castle somehow could be spared by these two children, so he hastily remarked, "I believe there may be a chance that you could help us, my friends." As he spoke, the pieces of the puzzle fit together in his mind.
"King Greenspoon is the only one in this kingdom who knows how to contact Rebus the Surrealist Wizard, who is the very person responsible for bringing you here. The king is being held captive in the depths of Ink Forest, along with his army. We could send someone out to the Forest to find the king and tell him to contact Rebus, for rumor has it that he has been working on a way to defeat Sebwulf and his Impossibility Machines."
Joseph, Moon, and Confucius tried hard to understand. Villibus continued, pacing back and forth and talking more to himself now, "But the only way to get to Ink Forest from here is to walk through the garden behind the castle, and everyone here loves to walk through the garden, so the curse won't let us. But the boy and the crane aren't cursed, and the girl has never walked through the garden, so she wouldn't know if she loved it or not. So if the three of them walk through the garden and into the Forest, and find the king, who could contact the Wizard, who could defeat Sebwulf and lift the curse, it just might work, by Golly!"
Villibus took a deep breath and looked at his three little heroes, who looked up at him in total bewilderment.
Time was short, for without good food and sleep the villagers and performers in the castle would surely perish. Villibus supplied Joseph, Moon, and Confucius with provisions and comfortable shoes, and explained the dangers of the quest to them. He said to Moon, "The garden is indeed very beautiful, but you must try not to look at it too much or get lost in its richness, for if you find yourself loving it, you will not be able to continue. You may find it easier the further you go, for the farther away you get from the castle, the curse will gradually weaken its power on you."
"Will I be able to sing?" asked Moon.
Villibus answered, "If that is what you most love to do, then I'm afraid not. Not unless the curse is broken."
Moon sighed in disappointment, but it strengthened her bravery and will power. She was ready to do anything to get her voice back.
Villibus addressed the three of them, "The Ink Forest is very dense and very black, and it gets more so the deeper you go into it. If you're lucky, you may find someone to guide you through it. But in case you get lost, take these torches."
He handed them each a mushroom, which when squeezed would glow with a phosphorescent light.
"The thing to be the most wary of is the Vampyr Dragons." continued Villibus. "Sebwulf said they were already draining the blood of the knights, so you must try to find King Greenspoon before they kill him, as well."
Joseph, Moon, and Confucius were nervous and scared, but hopeful. Confucius was especially uneasy, for he had expected to be enjoying the Festival at that moment instead of going off on a dangerous quest. Anything that changed his plans into something this unpredictable naturally made him confused, as did anything he didn't know a lot about.
Joseph was surprised at himself how willingly he accepted the challenge of the quest, but he still had many questions, especially who was this Rebus character and why did he bring him to this land? Ever curious, Joseph hoped he could find out once they found the king. But Joseph found that his reasoning for going on the quest weren't as much for his own curiosity as they were for helping Moon be able to sing again. There was something about her, some new feeling that sparked inside Joseph that made him feel as if he had known her for a long time. Moon felt something unusual about Joseph as well, but she was careful not to entertain her thoughts too much, for the curse still gripped her soul tightly. This saddened and frustrated her a great deal, as they started off towards the garden, but she was determined, and also relieved that she didn't have to go on this journey alone.
The garden was indeed beautiful, a perfectly composed display of vivid flowers, trees, and waterfalls all stretched out underneath an intricate stone bridge that the three walked across. Moon tried not to look at it, though in her heart she wanted to run through it. Joseph and Confucius sensed this and tried to keep her mind on other things. Confucius told them both about the Spattle-tah-Pluff Tree and more things about Crazy Road.
"The Alltalks," he said, "Which I pointed out to Joseph, are called that because they do nothing but talk. They talk about everything that bothers them but they don't do anything about it, and that's why they're rooted to the ground."
Joseph asked, "Who were those creatures who ran around in circles and were all blurry?"
Confucius replied, "Nofokussers. They have trouble focusing on anything in particular, so they just run around endlessly in circles. And the other creatures we saw after them were the Abusers. They simply inflict pain on themselves, and when that gets to be too much, they do it to others."
Moon became rather grateful she had never traveled on this road. She asked, "Doesn't it hurt them?"
"Of course it does," replied the crane. "But they do it anyway, 'cause they're stuck. The frustrating thing is that only the Crazies can unstick themselves. My Uncle Charlie tried to help them many times, but he had to give up. There's just too many of them. Uncle Charlie practically became crazy himself. One day the Crazies all ganged up on him, and the only way he could escape was to draw a circle around himself on the ground. He lives out in Sunny Gobbles now, the poor chap, just watching the harpies fly."
By this time they had reached the end of the Garden, and the Ink Forest was sprawled out before them. The trees were tall, thick, and gray as the darkest slate, and the leaves all clustered at their summits were black and dense. On a few trees the bark was old and crumbling, and the blackest of black inks could be seen oozing out of the cracks. Joseph, Moon, and Confucius shuddered as a chill danced down their spines, but they knew that this was something they had to do, and time was growing shorter by the second.
They started to inch towards the trees, when all of a sudden there was a harsh cry from above, and a giant net made of dried-up tree branches fell on top of them. They struggled to get free but it was no use, and suddenly three figures appeared from out of the woods, one tall and two short. The tall figure wore a white poofy-sleeved shirt with black tights, and a cap much like a jester's with bells on the ends. He had greenish skin, large eyes and pointed ears, and held a rapier in his hand. The shorter figures were Goblins, one resembling a stout faun with huge bulging eyes and a wide toothy grin, and the other wore a black hooded robe and had an elongated yet friendly face.
But friendly was hardly the word to describe the other two. The Stout Goblin approached the heroes under the net, bouncing up and down and saying, "Ha ha! A catch! A catch! Two kids and a bird! What a catch!"
"Silence, Finn!" said the tall figure, revealing sharp fangs. "I built the net, so I will say what a catch it was!"
"You didn't build the net!" shrieked Finn the Stout Goblin.
The tall figure hesitated. "I built most of the net, so I am the victorious one!"
"Yeah, whatever," said Finn. "Go ahead, ask 'em for their money and food and stuff!"
The tall figure smacked Finn and yelled, "Don't tell me what to do! I'm supposed to just out and say it!"
"Out and say it!" hollered Finn.
The tall figure brandished his sword towards the net and struck a strange-looking pose, jutting out his chin and his chest in a way that looked awkwardly rehearsed, as if there were steps to the pose he was trying to remember. He cleared his throat, and said, "Now hear ye, fellow rogues! I am Snifflus Frump, villain of this land and guardian of the Forest! Hand over your money and food or I shall--"
He was interrupted by stifled laughter from Finn and the other Goblin. Snifflus Frump the Villain tried to retain his composure and continued, "Or I shall wisp my blade through--"
Finn exploded in laughter, and Snifflus Frump screamed in anger, picked up the Stout Goblin and chucked him hard against a nearby tree.
Joseph, Moon, and Confucius watched from under the net, and the crane replied, "There's something phony about this."
Snifflus lunged at Finn with his sword and ended up chasing him around the Forest, while the Hooded Goblin rolled his eyes and kindly pulled the net off of their confused prisoners.
"Thank you," said Joseph.
"What was that all about?" Moon asked the Goblin.
The Hooded Goblin proceeded to go through a strange display of pantomime and sign language that none of them could understand, when suddenly Finn landed in front of him from above and Snifflus Frump emerged from the woods, exhausted. When he saw that his prisoners were free, he shouted, "Aha! You foul--" Then he stopped himself, sheathed his rapier and sighed, "Ah, forget it!", and plopped down on the ground and sulked.
"Sorry about all of this," said Finn to Joseph, Moon, and Confucius. "My friend here simply wants to be a villain, but he's not, you see. His conscience gets in the way."
"A rather vulgar way to put it," said Snifflus.
"Anyway," said Finn. "I am Finn, and this is Skraboonikus." He gestured towards the Hooded Goblin, who gave a polite salute. "He doesn't talk so don't bother talking to him. He took a vow of silence with the Spoolian Monks and they kicked him out of the monastery for sneezing. Pretty dumb, huh? Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Skraboonikus gave Finn an ugly look and snapped his fingers, which caused the Stout Goblin to clutch at his pointed ears and scream, "Aaaaaaagh!!! OK! I'm sorry! Stop it! Stop the ringing!" Skraboonikus snapped his fingers again and Finn's ears stopped ringing.
Joseph and Moon looked at each other, for although this was somewhat amusing, they really had to get going.
Moon explained, "Well, it's nice to meet you all, but we really must be going now."
"Going now?" cried Finn. "Not into Ink Forest you won't, not without a guide."
There was a hesitation, for Joseph, Moon, and Confucius weren't sure if they could trust these creatures or not, but Joseph asked anyway, "Do you know where King Greenspoon and his army are being held?"
Finn replied, "Skraboonikus probably knows. He grew up in Ink Forest. He probably knows it like the back of his hand."
Skraboonikus displayed the back of his hand, then looked at it and seemed to notice something he never saw before.
"Lead the way, my friend!" ordered Finn, and the Goblins headed off into the Forest. Finn nudged Snifflus and said, "C'mon, Deadbeat." Snifflus grumbled and followed them.
Joseph, Moon, and Confucius were reluctant to follow these strange characters, but uncertain help was better than no help at all, especially when it came to the darkness of Ink Forest, so they followed their guides into the dense, black trees.
The Forest was very difficult to walk through, not only because of the darkness but because of the surface of the ground. The roots of the trees overlapped and grew into each other, and there were many low hanging branches, so there was almost always something to step over or crouch under, and often times it couldn't be seen very well. But the mushroom torches helped considerably, as the little band continued deeper and deeper into the Forest.
Their guides seemed flaky but trustworthy enough, and Snifflus, who grumbled for quite awhile, eventually loosened up and became more cheerful, as cheerful as anyone crawling through darkness could be, anyway. Joseph and Confucius tried to reassure him in his desire to be a villain, although they didn't see much promise in him, quite frankly.
"Maybe there's an entry level position you could start at." suggested Confucius.
"I thought you were very threatening at first," said Joseph.
"Sure, at first," laughed Snifflus. "Then I botched it up."
"Finn's the one who botched you up," whispered Joseph. "Just get rid of him and you'd be a great villain." Joseph found it odd that he was actually encouraging this poor fellow.
"Yeah, I guess," sighed Snifflus. "But as much as I really would like to be a villain, there are lots of other jobs out there that could lead to villainy, I suppose."
"Like what else would you do?" asked Confucius.
Snifflus thought, "I could be a hero."
Joseph was puzzled. "Isn't that the exact opposite of a villain, though?"
"Sure," replied Snifflus. "But I could start off as a hero and gradually betray everyone I've saved until I can promote myself up to being a villain. That might work."
Joseph and Confucius didn't argue with him because it somehow made sense.
After a few more miles, the pumpkin dropped and the stars shot across the sky, although if it hadn't been for the sound they made, the little band would hardly have known the difference. In the glow of the mushrooms, Skraboonikus made a gesture and Finn explained, "Skraboonikus says we must stop for the night, and in two hours we have to be silent until morning, because the witches will be out."
"Witches?" cried Confucius. "Nobody said anything about witches!"
"Sorry, chum, I thought you knew," said Finn. "The witches come out two hours after pumpkin-drop and search for bodies to make furniture out of. But as long as you're silent, and preferably asleep, they can't find you."
The crane's spindly legs knocked together and he trembled violently. Joseph and Moon calmed him down and suggested sitting down to camp for the night. Confucius had a mango and felt a little calmer, but his terrible fear of witches remained. He handed out mangos to everyone else, and they all enjoyed them thoroughly except Moon, who was still mostly cursed, so the mango went down dry in her throat but it filled her up just the same.
For two hours until they had to be silent and go to sleep, the band of friends talked into the night, sharing secrets about the different distant lands they came from, and occasionally laughing. It was the oddest assortment of strangers becoming friends ever to be assembled in Ink Forest. The conversations split off in many directions, as early conversations often do, and a few times Joseph and Moon ended up talking only to each other. They talked about their interests and insecurities back home, and found that they had a lot in common. Moon became intrigued when Joseph told her he loved to draw.
"That's wonderful," she said. "I can only draw stick figures. I'd love to see your drawings sometime."
Joseph remembered the drawing of himself riding on the owl's back, and reached into his back pocket. "I have a drawing right here, actually." he said, handing it to her. Moon gazed at it in the soft light of the mushroom, and was very impressed.
"It's beautiful," she said.
"Thank you." replied Joseph, and he meant it. Those words, in Moon's gentle voice, echoed in his head and warmed his heart, for nobody had ever said that about any of his drawings before. Moon loved the drawing more and more as she gazed at it. Something about it, the whole idea behind it, touched her and gave her hope for getting her voice back. Suddenly the curse clouded her eyes so she couldn't see it. Joseph was crushed.
"I'm sorry," he sincerely apologized, hiding the drawing.
"Don't be," said Moon, rubbing her eyes. "I'm very glad you showed it to me. You have a gift."
They sat there in silence for awhile. Finally Moon said, "I'll sing for you when I get my voice back."
"I'd like that." replied Joseph, smiling.
They had become the best of friends by the end of the night, and although Joseph was not cursed as Moon was, they somehow felt equal. It was a different kind of friendship from any they had felt before.
Time passed and Moon fell asleep. There were thirty seconds left until the witches came out, so Joseph quickly snapped a stick of loose bark off a nearby tree, dipped it in the ink that dripped out, and wrote, "For Moon...Love, Joseph" on the back of his drawing, and included a little cartoon face next to it. He hastily put the drawing and the bark in his pocket, and fell asleep as he could hear scratching and mumbling among the trees.
At pumpkin-rise everyone got up and continued on their way through the Forest, which got darker and darker. The leaves above them got so dense and so black that they completely absorbed the light of the pumpkin. It was eternally night where they had entered. Snifflus, who was notorious for stupid comments, said, "People must not worry about pumpkin-burn too much here."
Finn snapped at him, "You're going to make a very strange villain."
After several hours of hacking their way through the densest branches and becoming covered in ink stains, the little band finally found King Greenspoon and his knights. There were only about ten knights left, and they were all sitting down looking at the ground. Some of them were leaning on each other's armor-clad bodies for support. Scattered around them where torn-up suits of armor, the empty shells of the knights who were already met their terrible end. King Greenspoon, a portly fellow with an orange beard, was dressed in chain mail and a tattered green robe, and he sat leaned against a huge tree with a goblet of ink in his hand. He had dark circles around his eyes and just stared at the ground, motionless. The six friends shuddered. This was almost too creepy for them. Confucius walked over to the king.
"King Greenspoon!" he cried. "Hello! It's me, Confucius Confusion from the Festival last year? Do you remember me?"
The king looked up at the crane, who had never felt a more empty gaze in all his life. His eyes were blacker than black, and as he stared he raised the goblet of ink to his lips and sipped loudly. Confucius and the others were petrified. Something was not right. Moon especially sensed this, and the hollow stare of the King made her grow pale in the surrounding darkness.
Confucius said to the king, "Your Majesty, we need your help! Your castle is under a curse, and we need you to contact Rebus!"
Suddenly the king and the knights bellowed out in fits of laughter, the knights still looking at the ground with black stares and barely moving.
Confucius tried again, "Your Majesty, can you contact Rebus?"
But the laughter continued and got stronger, and King Greenspoon said with an awful grin, his teeth stained black with ink, "Don't care."
Confucius and the little band was crushed by these words, especially Moon, who tried hard to hold back her tears. The king and the knights began chanting and moaning a round of words like, "Don't care...nothing matters...give up....don't care..." The six friends stood there motionless, listening to the drone of the fallen soldiers in the darkness until they too began to lose hope. They tried to deny what was happening, but it seemed useless.
Suddenly, a group of shadows moved behind the trees, and Snifflus brandished his sword in alarm. Behind King Greenspoon a large beast with the reddest eyes and a wide, gaping mouth with two enormous fangs emerged and hissed with a deafening shriek. It was a Vampyr Dragon, and no sooner had it emerged from the woods than it brought its fangs down deep into the laughing king and loudly slurped out what life was left in him. Moon screamed, and soon they were surrounded by a whole herd of Vampyr Dragons that swarmed in on the knights and feasted. They all had dark, sleek bodies about the size of tigers, and terrible claws that tore open the armor shells of the doomed soldiers.
Joseph, Moon, and their friends were terrified, and their only impulse and option left was to run, as fast as they could, into the Forest. Skraboonikus frantically waved his tiny hands in the air, pointing in a certain direction, and Finn shouted, "He says to go this way! Follow us!"
They all ran, following the Goblins, and began running faster upon discovering that a few Dragons had spotted them and began to chase after them. The trees gradually got less dense and further apart, which was why Skraboonikus had led that way, for it made it easier to run. Moon grabbed hold of Joseph's hand so they wouldn't lose each other. They could feel the Dragons gaining on them, hissing and snapping their jaws together.
They came to a clearing, and more Dragons emerged from the woods and began closing in on them until they were totally surrounded. Snifflus, who had been getting quite good at swordplay, tried to fend them off, but there were too many to fight at once. It seemed that they were doomed, until a shaft of pumpkin light came down through the dense leaves above and the Vampyr Dragons shrieked. Through the leaves and into the clearing came a giant white barn owl, just like the one in Joseph's drawing. Joseph was exhilarated, and to top it off, two more gigantic owls burst through the leaves, washing the clearing with more light and driving away the Dragons. Joseph knew exactly what to do, and he pulled himself and Moon up onto the white owl's back. Confucius climbed onto the other with Snifflus, and the Goblins took the last one. A few brave Dragons attempted to attack them, but missed as the owls took off through the trees and into the sky. A sudden wind through their feathers lulled the companions into a grateful slumber as the giant birds carried them to safety.
Joseph woke up to the sound of strange music, like jazz played through a tin can. As he opened his eyes he found himself inside a large room that appeared to be made of clam shells, thousands of them covering the walls. A stuffed donkey covered with cocktail umbrellas stood in the corner, and there were several turtle shells everywhere which served as tables for all sorts of oddly-shaped glass tubes and beakers. The music was coming from inside a fish bowl that, by some miracle, was balanced on top of the horn of a unicorn head carved out of cheese. Obviously, out of all the strange things Joseph had seen, this was the strangest. He tried to stand up and realized that the room was slowly swaying back and forth, and he had to sit back down.
The ridiculousness of the whole situation made Joseph feel frustrated and almost angry for the first time since he'd arrived in this strange land. He thought about the Crazies and the utter disappointment and terror of finding the knights, and he wondered why everything seemed so screwed up. It was unfair, he thought, unfair and terrible that Moon couldn't sing, that this evil Monkey King had caused all this suffering, that nothing made sense to him as to why these creatures did the things they did. His feelings even went back to his father, who had deserted him and his family long ago, and Joseph wanted to know why. He pulled out his drawing and looked at it. Listening to the awful music in the room, not even the fact that he was proud of his drawing or that Moon loved it so much seemed to matter to him anymore. He was fed up, and was about to go over the edge and tear the drawing to shreds, when he was stopped by a voice that said, "Ooooaaaaghaaa!"
Joseph looked up and saw an old wizard standing before him. The wizard had beady eyes that were barely visible under his bushy eyebrows, and a long white beard with a pointy hat. He was the oddest-looking fellow Joseph had ever seen, but he couldn't exactly pinpoint why. He knew right away who he was, too, and he even said out loud, "Rebus."
Rebus replied with a wiggle of his head, "Sausages in giraffe winter fall on the Norwegian spam of chicken feet. Brush, brush!"
Joseph was more confused than ever at this point, and to make matters worse, a ferret in a suit and tie walked into the room and started talking to him.
"That's right, he says," said the ferret, who spoke in a squeaky British accent. "He is Rebus the Surrealist Wizard, at your service. You'll have to excuse him if you don't understand what he says, but that's how he talks. I am Dr. Carruthers, the Wizard's personal secretary and translator."
Joseph began to slowly feel a bit more at ease, for he actually found Rebus after all, and he felt that Dr. Carruthers may be able to explain a few things to him. He suddenly noticed that his companions were gone, and he asked where they were.
The ferret replied, "Oh, they're all sitting on the tree outside. They couldn't stand the house swaying. Rebus tells me you were just angry about something."
Joseph was embarrassed. He replied, "Well, yes, I suppose I was just frustrated by all the confusing things I've seen in this land." He went on to describe his feelings about the craziness and suffering he saw both in this world and this own.
Rebus smiled and said, "Fish heads, float in the soup doth bring lemon drops to become squishy and brown."
Dr. Carruthers explained, "He says my child, there are some things you shouldn't question, just accept. If everything made sense, everyone would be confused. You're very wise to question most things, and there a great many things worth questioning, but when you find your questioning doesn't bring you answers, then sometimes the only answers to find are the ones in front of you. Look at that donkey in the corner. You could question for years as to why it's there, where it came from, and may never find out exactly why. There may not even be an exactly why. Ever have a dream that was so weird you had no idea how it ever came out of your head? You could go mad trying to find definite answers to these things, so you often have no choice but to accept it as an answer without a question, a mystery, if you will, and mysteries are where life and magic come from."
Rebus added, " Watermelon caviar."
"Ah, yes," continued Dr. Carruthers. "Rebus says you were wondering how you got here. Well, you see, Rebus is a wonderful wizard but even he will admit that he's a terrible cook. Every now and then he tries to make a new dish, something he's never tried before, and something always goes amiss, resulting in someone from your dimension ending up here. Rebus was simply trying to make a toilet plunger quiche, and you and your Moon friend were brought here just like that."
"So there have been others?" asked Joseph, who in his curious nature was beginning to be intrigued.
"Yes, many times," said the ferret. "Most of the people brought here through Rebus's bad cooking are still around, and everyone knows about them. They've blended into society very well, much better than others. Rebus brought in some chap from Michigan, I believe it was, who caused so much trouble we had to send him back immediately. However, this is the first occurrence where two people have been brought here at the same time."
"What does that mean?" asked Joseph.
"That is something yet to be realized, and Rebus and I think it was something to do with the fact that while some things need to be questioned and others accepted, there are also things that need to be remedied. Go and mingle with your friends. We'll bring you back inside when we're ready."
Rebus and Dr. Carruthers led Joseph towards the donkey. Joseph stuttered and stammered, for he wanted to know more, to which Rebus replied, "Warthog spleen on toast." and the ferret translated, "Don't question, just accept!"
Joseph felt a small pinch and instantly found himself sitting on a thick tree branch with his friends. Rebus's house swung in the breeze below them. Joseph had a lot on his mind, and was very confused, but he let it pass for now. Skraboonikus was playing soft music on a small flute, and Snifflus, Confucius, and Finn passed around a pipe that blew tiny bubbles into the air. Moon sat alone on the far side of the branch, and Joseph noticed that she was crying. He went over and sat beside her, and she wiped the tears from her sad green eyes.
"It's just the music," she sniffed.
Joseph thought the flute was disturbing Moon, and he told Skraboonikus to stop playing.
"No, no, it's okay," Moon pleaded. "Skraboonikus, keep playing, please!"
The Hooded Goblin was puzzled for a moment, but soon resumed his tune.
Moon said to Joseph, "It's comforting to hear other people's music since I'll never again hear my own."
"Don't talk that way, Moon," said Joseph. "We found the Wizard, we'll get your voice back."
Moon, in tears, shook her head. "I don't know, Joseph. That Sebwulf is much too powerful. I saw him, I saw him with my own eyes, and I saw what he did to those poor people. I saw their dreams shatter right there, right in front of me. I saw what he did to the king, to those knights. He drained them of everything they loved and hoped for and cared about. Somehow he forced them, he forced them to give up what they wished and become hollow and--"
It all became too much and she leaned herself against Joseph and burst into tears. Joseph didn't know what to say, so he simply put his arm around her and let her cry, but somehow that was enough. Joseph thought about the knights too, and of Villibus hovering over his comatose dog, and the despair that gripped the castle. And even though he was not under Sebwulf's curse at that moment, he thought of all the times he got caught drawing owls and cartoons in school and everytime his teachers and classmates told him that what he was doing was stupid and foolish, and he understood the sorrow of the kingdom, and of his friend. Moon's crying died down as she felt the compassion in her friend's embrace, and as her gratitude for his comfort brought them together, she asked Joseph, "May I see your drawing again?"
Joseph reached into his back pocket and handed the drawing to Moon. She looked at it and loved it, and loved it even more the longer she looked. It meant that she was far enough away from the castle that the curse had weakened enough so that she could see it. She knew she still couldn't sing, but something about the drawing of the moon and the owl and her dear friend brought her hope back that she would indeed find her voice. Joseph sensed her happiness and told her to look at the back of the drawing, and when she saw the note he had left her, meaning the drawing was hers to keep forever, she looked into his kind eyes and hugged him tight. Joseph felt wonderful, more wonderful than he ever had in his life, and the wonderfulness between the two of them could not have been greater.
And then Finn broke the moment by saying, "Geez, get a room!"
Not too long afterwards, everyone on the branch felt a pinch and they were all an instant later back inside Rebus's tree house. Rebus looked very excited, and when he got excited he flipped himself upside down and spun like a top on the tip of his hat, and made high-pitched squealing noises.
"Okay, that's enough, they're here," said Dr. Carruthers. Rebus flipped himself back upright and grabbed five palm-sized fish off a nearby turtle shell. He handed a fish to everyone except Moon, and said, "Poot wiffle waffle hedgehogs over my tuckus."
Dr. Carruthers cleared his throat and said, "Now listen closely, my friends. Rebus has been trying to hatch a scheme for defeating Sebwulf the evil Monkey King for a long time, and it just so happens that a prophecy from the Kingdom of Greenspoon has coincidentally coincided with the final stages of his plan. Basically, you will be going off to destroy the Monkeys and their Impossibility Machine with a combination of concentrated surrealism, a surprise secret weapon to be launched by the rules of the prophecy, and the grand finale, which shall automatically commence once all of the above feats have been fulfilled. Don't question, just accept!"
There was a long pause, and finally the six friends uttered a simultaneous, "Uhhh..."
"All right fine, question all you want!" sighed the ferret.
"What is this Impossibility Machine?" asked Joseph.
Confucius explained, "It's the gate to the Monkey's lair that Sebwulf designed--"
Snifflus interrupted, "Sebwulf is a sorcerer who was banished from the Kingdom of Greenspoon long ago. He and his team of monkeys tried to develop machines that would do everything people normally did for them. Everything from preparing food, to making art and music, to games and combat would all be done by machines. The people took so much pride in doing these things themselves that they scoffed at Sebwulf's ideas, and when he became angry and threatened them for this, the king banished him into the mountains beyond Ink Forest. So Sebwulf decided since the people thought they were capable of so much, he built his Impossibility Machine, a structure of different corridors and traps, to tempt anyone who dared to challenge his ingenuity. Most people who dare actually don't get through, for Sebwulf is indeed a brilliant machine designer. But every now and then, someone does get through--"
Moon added, "And Sebwulf sets off a clap of thunder!"
"Right," said Snifflus. "The one we heard the other day was because of King Greenspoon, who went off to challenge the Machine himself and won. Sebwulf became so angry, since Greenspoon was the one who banished him to begin with, that his powers increased and the rest we've all seen for ourselves."
Finn asked, "How do you know all this, Bub?"
Snifflus replied, "Sebwulf's a villain, I gotta do my research."
"So as you can tell," continued Dr. Carruthers, "Sebwulf is very obsessive about impossibility, which is why concentrated surrealism is the perfect weapon against such a thing, for surrealism is the stuff dreams are made of, and in dreams nothing is impossible."
Rebus retorted, "Klaatu Barada Nikto."
The ferret replied, "Yes, and that too. Now my friends, each one of your fishes contains a small dose of concentrated surrealism, which will be released when the fish is thrown sharply against a floor, a wall, a swinging blade, anything. These should get you through the corridors of the Machine provided you use them sparingly, as there are only five."
Dr. Carruthers could see that Moon was about to ask why she didn't have one. "You, my dear, do not have a fish because you hold inside you the surprise secret weapon to be launched according to the rules of the prophecy, and I can see that you are about to ask, 'What are the rules of the prophecy?' and the answer is, I can't tell you. It's much like wishing upon a star or a candle, if you tell someone, it doesn't come true. This must be accepted. Once the fish have all been used, and the secret weapon is launched, then the grand finale will automatically occur and Sebwulf will be destroyed, thus lifting the curse from the Castle. Time is short, my friends. The owls are waiting."
The three owls were perched on the tree outside Rebus's house, and the little band of friends, nervous yet strangely confident, climbed aboard and bid farewell to the Wizard and Dr. Carruthers. Night had already come, and the owls took off against the stars towards the mountains. Confucius gave Snifflus a mango and tossed some to the others. Skraboonikus dropped his and watched it plummet to the ground below. Finn laughed at him and teased him by remarking how delicious his mango was, and Skraboonikus snapped his fingers to make Finn's ears ring. Moon held on tight to Joseph on the back of their white owl, and together they felt safe, at least for the moment.
The owls landed at the base of the mountains beyond Ink Forest. As the companions dismounted, they gazed at the Impossibility Machine before them. The ground on both sides of it had been blasted away, creating a cavernous moat that separated them from the mountains, and the Machine was like a large covered bridge that spread in between. It was made of red iron, cold and menacing, and it almost seemed to breathe with the baited breath of whatever lay inside. The six friends stood there, and they all had to admit they were scared out of their wits, but they knew that an entire kingdom's dreams hung in the balance, so it was a challenge they had to accept, no matter what. They all exchanged glances between each and every one of them, saying without words, which wasn't a problem for Skraboonikus, to be brave. Together they approached the huge metal door and it automatically split open, and the whole structure seemed to moan. It was pitch dark inside, but the companions inched their way in anyway, with their fish in hand, ready for anything. Suddenly, the iron doors slammed shut, trapping the little band in total darkness. Apparently the slamming of the doors coughed up a cloud of dust, for Skraboonikus uttered a gracious sneeze.
No sooner had the Goblin sneezed than the lights came on, and before the little band was a wide, cold, empty corridor. Everyone froze, and hesitated for a few seconds. Finally Joseph whispered, "Let's go," and they slowly moved forward. Suddenly the whole corridor was filled with giant swinging blades that came from every possible direction, and the companions nearly lost their limbs. The blades swung so fiercely that it looked impossible for anyone to pass through and dodge them all, and get to the other side in one piece. And to top it all off, certain parts of the corridor were lined with sharp metal spikes that shot out randomly from one side to the other. It would take only an incredibly gifted and thin acrobat to try and get through successfully.
"Boy, they ain't kidding, are they?" cried Finn over the din of the blades.
Joseph shouted, "Confucius, try your fish first!"
Without the faintest clue what would happen, the crane tossed his fish at the sea of blades. It struck them and popped with a bright flash, and then the blades began to change into light, flimsy rubber, and some of them turned to ice cream and started to melt. The flying spikes became long balloons which merely floated across the corridor. Amazed and delighted, the team made their way through the corridor without worrying so much about being hit by the blades, for they were now perfectly harmless. So far Rebus's plan was working perfectly, and when they all reached the end of the corridor, they heard a mighty clap of thunder from outside.
"Ha! That'll teach 'im!" shouted Finn.
"This isn't so bad," exclaimed Confucius. "Those fish will get us through with no trouble at all."
"Don't be so sure," warned Snifflus. "There's only four fish left now, and we don't know what else is in store for us. Never underestimate a villain."
"How much worse could it get?" cried Finn.
The door to the next corridor flew open and the six friends now stood before a narrow balance beam that stretched from where they stood to the other side. Below the beam was a hundred-foot drop into the moat below, a sure-fire lethal descent. The walls of the corridor were decked with huge propellers that began to spin, creating such a terrible gust of wind that nobody could possibly retain their balance or keep their grip on the beam, and would surely fall into the moat.
Snifflus Frump took his fish in hand and said, "Here goes." He chucked it at the propellers, and after a bright flash, the propellers began jetting out sheets of ice and snow, which rapidly formed a thick floor of ice over and around the beam, filling the entire width of the corridor and making a perfectly safe bridge across it. And to make matters more convenient, a rhinoceros driving a zamboni drove up and offered everyone a ride across the ice to the other side. After dropping them off, and another obstacle thus defeated, the companions heard another crash of thunder.
With three fish left and bravery still churning in their hearts, the six friends faced the next challenge as the door flew open, and before them was a very narrow corridor, and a quiet one, too, which made them very nervous. So nervous in fact, that they argued a bit over who should go first. It finally happened, more by just happening rather than by any kind of majority vote, that Joseph went in first, with Moon holding his hand behind him, and everyone else following in single file, for the corridor was barely wide enough for two people. This one scared them the most, because they managed to get practically a third of the way through and nothing had happened yet. The suspense alone was almost enough to kill them.
Skraboonikus sneezed again, making everyone jump, and in doing so he dropped his fish. It hit the ground, but not hard enough to make it burst. Finn anxiously told him to pick it up quickly, and before Skraboonikus could barely stoop down, a pair of hands emerged from the wall and grabbed him. Suddenly both walls crawling with hands that reached out and grabbed the companions, and recklessly tugged at them and tried to rip them apart. It was the undead bodies of the people and creatures who never made it through the Impossibility Machine, and they were now slowly coming out of the walls, their ghastly faces moaning. They had each of the six friends trapped in their deadly grips, making it impossible for them to move. They all screamed and struggled to no avail, and they began to think they would never get out of this one. Skraboonikus couldn't reach his fish on the ground, for he was close to being torn in half by two undead Goblins, one of which looked familiar to him. Finn held his fish tight in his clawed hand, and with all his might that he could possibly muster, he pulled his arm loose from a zombie's grip and burst it open on its head. The flash happened and quickly the walls widened a bit, and the zombies all get go the six friends and changed into a dozen barbershop quartets, who sang while a small ostrich tap-danced in circles.
They heard another crash of thunder, which signaled to the shaken and baffled companions that they had defeated this one too, at a very close call. They got up and ran for the next corridor, clutching each other in thanks that why were all right. The door shut behind them and the singing stopped, and Skraboonikus suddenly started waving his hands about nervously, as Finn tried to figure out what he was saying.
"Oh no, you idiot!" cried Finn.
"What happened?" everyone asked.
The Stout Goblin replied, "His fish is still in that last corridor! We'll never get it now! We're doomed!"
Joseph tried to calm him down. "Relax Finn, I still have mine! Does anyone know how many corridors are left?"
Snifflus replied, "I would guess one or two, maybe--"
"JOSEPH!!!" Moon shrieked as a monkey emerged from the shadows and pulled Joseph through a door into the next corridor. The door slammed shut, leaving everyone else outside, screaming Joseph's name.
The monkey threw Joseph against a hard wall. He then saw that he was in a small room filled with monkeys, and they were all staring at him with faces so dark they seemed featureless. Joseph had never been quite so terrified in his life. He kept waiting for the monkeys to do something, to grab him or beat him up or eat him, but they didn't. They just all stood there, staring at him with flat black faces. Joseph was in shock. The collective terror of the monkey's stare had an awful grip on him and he actually felt his face turn pale. He forgot about the fish in his hand, and he simply let it drop to the floor as his hands weakened and trembled. He felt that he would pass out from the power of the monkey's gaze.
Then an unknowable impulse along with the small amount of sanity left in his brain made him reach into his pocket and pull out the inky bark he took from the Forest, the one he used to write the note to Moon. He reached down and weakly drew a circle around him on the iron floor, still hypnotized by the monkey's fearful collective stare. Suddenly, as if the ink had etched into the surface of the floor, the circle gave way and Joseph fell right through. He landed on hard stony ground, and was finally able to shake himself from the monkey's gaze, for he was now underneath the raised structure of the Machine's final corridor. He crawled out from under it and upon coming out into the open, he saw he had made it outside the Impossibility Machine, and a huge clap of thunder startled him. A dark shadow fell over him, and he turned around, gasping as Sebwulf stood hovering over him, terrible and furious.
Joseph didn't know what to do. Behind him was the Machine and a drop into the moat below, and he was surrounded by rocks and cliffs on all other sides of him, from which more monkeys were emerging. Before him Sebwulf hissed, "Rebus can't protect you anymore, boy."
Joseph heard strange noises coming from inside the Machine, and he thought and hoped it might be his friends finding their way out. He decided to try and stall whatever it was Sebwulf planned to do to him. He mustered up some courage and shouted, "How do you know about Rebus?"
"Everyone knows about Rebus, that old bat!" the Monkey King croaked.
"How do you know that?" asked Joseph, nervous but trying to retain his confidence.
"What nonsense are you spewing?" asked Sebwulf.
"I just want to know how you know so much." replied Joseph.
Sebwulf laughed and said, "I know that you got through my Machine, and I know about everything your heart desires, and I know exactly how to take it away!" He snapped his talons and a short burst of lightning struck Joseph in the heart and knocked him down. Joseph winced, for it burned a little bit and he barely managed to endure it. He felt something leave his soul, as if something was taken from him, and he shuddered when he realized that Sebwulf was cursing him bit by bit.
Sebwulf's fingertips crackled and sparked, and he grinned down at Joseph and said, "Sorry, my friend, but the pen will never be mightier than the--AARRGH!!"
Joseph looked over to see Snifflus Frump slash Sebwulf's leg with his sword. The Monkey King whirled around and hissed at the attacker, and brandished a sword of his own, as a clap of thunder roared across the dark sky. Snifflus and Sebwulf lashed at each other, their blades clanging and sparking. Joseph was rather impressed, for Snifflus was actually quite a good swordsman. They fought for several minutes, blades flying, as Sebwulf's rage started a clump of rainclouds above them, and sheets of rain began to fall.
Sebwulf swung his sword and growled at Snifflus, "I thought you wanted to be a villain, my friend."
Snifflus lunged and replied, "All in good time, Sebwulf. Maybe I'll kill you tonight and take over the family business, what do you say?"
A shrill yell, which belonged to Finn, came from the direction of the Machine. Finn, Skraboonikus, and Confucius had found their way out and were now cheering Snifflus on.
"Down with the Monkey King!" they shouted.
Sebwulf's rage reached a dangerous new level, and as Snifflus had become distracted by his friends' cheers of support, the Monkey King swung his blade and struck him fiercely, knocking him down with a deep cut in his arm. Thunder and lightning exploded as Sebwulf turned and glared at the others, and flung his claws towards them. Joseph, the crane, and the Goblins were thrown up against a large cliff wall by an invisible force, and Snifflus was thrown up beside them. Joseph was now officially terrified, as were his friends.
Sebwulf had the companions cornered, and the dark-faced monkeys closed in on them from all sides. The Monkey King frowned the most terrible frown and crooned, "My friends, my friends, you've angered me beyond all imagining, now imagine your fondest dreams consumed by your worst!" And he laughed the most sadistic cackling of rage ever to be heard, as the skies roared and the monkeys zeroed in on the poor friends with their hollow collective stare, which made their souls start to scream.
Then there was suddenly a most brilliant flash of white light that struck Sebwulf, and he froze for a moment before slowly turning around to see Moon emerging from the Impossibility Machine, suspended on a shaft of light that radiated out straight into him. Moon's friends watched her in amazement, her black dress flowing in the wind and the light almost blinding everything. Sebwulf's face contorted as they all heard the voice of his enemy, King Greenspoon, thunder across the sky, "And it shall be that at the moment when all who accompany the Rainbow Voice are in the ultimate peril, the power within her shall be released to dispel the evil."
Moon felt a tingle in her heart and without consciously thinking about it, she began to sing. It wasn't her mind or her throat or her lungs that created the sound, it was coming straight from her soul. The white light split into a rainbow, which went through Sebwulf and began to make the monkeys fade away. Joseph and his friends listened as Moon's voice grew and grew, and the rainbow wrapped itself around the mountains, until the ground started to crumble and shake.
The little band ran past the angry, terrified figure of Sebwulf and took cover under the structure of the Machine. They watched as the rocks and cliffs quaked and split apart, and as the ground in front of them crumbled, they saw that the two largest mountains in the distance were actually the humps of a massive camel that emerged from underneath the cliffs. It gave out a powerful roar as its eyes glowed brilliantly and gazed down at Sebwulf. The Monkey King shrieked in terror as the giant camel slowly lowered its head and swallowed him whole. At that point, Moon's voice faded away and the rainbows split apart, swirling rapidly around the camel as it moved its gigantic head back into the ground, and the rocks all moved back into place.
The little band felt the Machine creak and tremble above them, so they quickly climbed out and Moon fell into Joseph's arms as the rainbow dissipated and the rain stopped. They all backed away as they watched the entire Machine twist and transform into hundreds of strange beasts; faeries, gryphons, good dragons, harpies, and dozens of strange creatures and peculiar-looking people nobody had names for, and they scattered into the mountains and the lands beyond, making silly noises, singing songs, baking cakes, building castles, handing out sugar candy; none of it made any sense, but it was all possible, and it was wonderful.
The dust settled and the six heroes stood there under the stars, still collecting their thoughts and trying to grasp the reality of it all. They realized that the prophecy had been fulfilled, as far as they could tell, and Sebwulf's evil was definitely destroyed. Yet Joseph, who still held a very exhausted but happy Moon in his arms, had a question, as he did have a very curious nature, "How did all of that happen if not all the fish were burst?"
"They were burst," answered Moon. "After the monkey pulled you through the door, Skraboonikus found his fish stuck to the inside of his robe."
Snifflus continued, "So we used it to create a tent flap so we could enter the last corridor,"
Finn added, "And the monkeys started looking at us so Skraboonikus snapped his fingers to make their ears ring,"
Confucius said, "While I found your fish on the floor and threw it at the monkeys, and they all turned into grapefruits with wax lips. Then we escaped through the hole you left for us."
Skraboonikus nodded.
Joseph thought about it for a moment, and replied, "Okay."
Everyone laughed and hugged as the owls flew over to take them to the castle. Joseph and Moon rode their white owl across the night sky feeling free at last, and they could both finally appreciate the absolute thrill of living the experience that Joseph had previously only imaged in his drawing. The only difference was that Moon herself was the only moon there was in the sky, and to celebrate, she sang a sweet song for her friend Joseph. As she finished the last note, the pumpkin shot straight up over the horizon, and they started the new day laughing.
Upon returning to the castle, the curse had been lifted and the Festival resumed as a celebration of their homecoming. They were all greeted warmly by Villibus and even Rebus and Dr. Carruthers, who had stopped by for the occasion. The performers put on their acts and Confucius wrote a song for Moon to sing with the minstrels, and the children and lovers danced all day long, and concluded the evening with a huge feast. As they lifted their glasses in a toast to victory, Joseph and Moon smiled at each other and a little spark acknowledged that they were each other's closest friends, and they drank their apple cider with that special warmth in their hearts.
They assumed that since they saved the castle, they would be allowed to stay together there as long as they wished. But after the feast, Villibus informed them, "My friends, this kingdom has a prophecy, which states that the Rainbow Voice, the first person to arrive at this castle and rescue it from enchantment, must stay, and whoever helped that person in their quest must return to whence they came. Moon must stay here. The rest of you must go back."
Joseph and Moon both felt a stinging in their hearts.
"What do you mean?" pleaded Joseph. "You mean I have to go back home?"
"I am truly sorry, my friend," replied Villibus. "It is a prophecy that cannot be broken. Even the highest Supreme Being could not break it."
Rebus commented, "Mince pies in the pig snout," which Dr. Carruthers translated into, "You are needed in your own world."
Joseph felt crushed and disappointed. He had the greatest friends he had ever known, and he didn't want to leave them, especially not Moon.
"Please let me stay," he begged.
"I wish you could, old chap," Villibus explained. "You've done us good, and we shall miss you."
Moon's heart sank deeper as she too came to realize that there was no way around the prophecy. She didn't really mind staying, of course, but to stay without Joseph saddened her to the depths of her soul.
She asked Villibus, "Will I ever get to go back?" for he never said exactly how long she had to stay.
"Perhaps," replied Villibus. "But it may not be for a long, long time, if it can ever happen at all. We have no way of knowing. I'm truly sorry but that's the way things are."
Dr. Carruthers added, "It must be accepted."
Rebus said, "Yep."
So Joseph and Moon bid farewell to Confucius as he headed on his way back to the Spattle-tah-Pluff Tree, and to Snifflus, Skraboonikus, and Finn as they headed back to Ink Forest. Moon thanked them all for risking so much to save her voice. Joseph also bid farewell to Villibus, Rebus, and Dr. Carruthers, and promised everyone that he would never forget them.
And then it came to Joseph and Moon, who looked in each other's eyes with cosmic sparks of love and friendship between blue and green. Neither of them were sure what profound thing they could say, for in their young hearts they were hopeful but almost sure it would be the last time they would hear each other say anything, so they each said "Thank you" and "Good-bye" and shared a strong embrace which they both savored for all it was worth. The time had come, and Rebus wiggled his fingers and began uttering incoherent magic words. Joseph could feel marionette strings hovering over him, and they began to attach to his wrists and ankles. Moon pulled away slowly and as they looked in each other's eyes one last time, a special spark crackled and they both closed them, and their lips touched, which was a moment that not anyone in all the distant lands could ever find words to describe, a moment that was powerful enough to slow down time several notches until Joseph was finally pulled up into the sky.
Joseph returned to his world safely, and found that things hadn't changed much, except that he began to feel more confident in school and found happiness and wonder in more things than he ever had before. And whenever his classmates gave him a hard time, he simply snapped his fingers and listened to them complain about a ringing in their ears.
Joseph grew into adulthood, went to college, and became a successful ornithologist and wildlife painter. He eventually married and had three sons, and went on to live a very happy life, and he never forgot about the adventures he had when he was twelve. They became the subject of countless bedtime and campfire stories for his children and grandchildren. They half-believed these stories too, until they eventually grew up and remembered them only as childhood nostalgia, but for Joseph it was all still very real.
His loving wife passed away from cancer after the kids had grown, and when Joseph became too old to take care of himself he was placed in a nursing home. His sons and their families visited him whenever they could, but most of his time was still spent drawing, and once he decided to tell stories about his adventures in the distant land to the other old folks. They simply responded with an impatient "Pah!" and hobbled away. Some of them looked back and shook their heads before they parked themselves in front of the TV or went to bed. Joseph was not really surprised in the least, but he still sighed as he sat in the lonely room and said, "Nobody will ever believe me."
Suddenly, he felt a warm touch on his hand. He looked up and saw an old woman reaching out to him and smiling. With her other withered hand she handed him a weathered drawing he had made long ago, of himself as a boy riding on the back of a white owl, with the full moon glowing behind him. Joseph looked into the woman's green eyes, and in a voice like a rainbow she said, "I believe you."