Heaven
( " Nothing to hide" Music and lyrics by Richard Marx and Terry thomas )
by Jera
There in my darkest hour
somehow you knew what i felt
And just in the nick of time you saved me from myself
Didn't Know i could cut through my defenses
And see through the mask
I figured you must want something from me
But you never asked
I just had to call and you were always there
I think you must have been the answer to my prayer
with you I've got nothing to hide
My heart is starting to pound
now the walls are tumbling down
I wish I could find the words that linger just out of reach
I see myself in your eyes and lose my power of speech
I am someone now that i don't recognize
It took someone like you to shatter my disguise
Now I've got nothing to hide
My heart's remembering to pound
I can feel the walls coming down
I've got nothing to hide
All that I needed was you around
Now the walls are tumbling down
Head in the sky,
Feeling just like some kind of lovesick child
I finally pulled through,
And I owe it all to you
Don't want to keep it inside
I am someone now that I don't recognize
Oh, I am healing,
I am believing,
You made me realize.
The night was deep. The cold air was wispering something no one can hear. She lay in her bed, eyes closed, hands clutched to the sheets that wrinkled with the evidence of tossing and turning. She frowned, in her sleep. The dreams seemed to have come back. The dreams that she had thought to have rid of for good. She awoke with sweat and tears on her face, fumbling for the phone on the night stand by her bed.
Liz: Lucky.....It's me.....I am sorry... It's so late........it came back....the nightmare that I haven't had in a long time.....Lucky, I was back to that night.....no, Gram is working the night shift.....Lucky......all right.....through the window.....
She put down the phone, fought to keep her composure. She really didn't want to go through all of this again. Who would have thought that they'd have found the rapist after all hope of that had died when they found out that Murty wasn't the one that raped her. They would never have thought that it was Dr. Jones if it weren't for the confession he made to that prostitute named Tammy. And if she hadn't went to the police with that information, they might never have found out about the truth.... Tony was in jail now. The trial was to begin in 3 weeks. And here she was, trembling, sobbing uncontrollably.......Lucky must have though she was such a baby....no, Lucky wouldn't......He was the one person that had always knew her, he knew what she was thinking even before she figured out it herself. She hadn't needed to tell him that she could not go back to sleep now. He had told her that he was coming right over. She wished that she didn't need him to do that....but she did. She desperately did. After all these time, Lucky was the only person that could make her feel safe. No one, not Gram, not the police, could ever make her feel as safe as she felt when Lucky was with her.
The knocking on the window startled her. She looked over, Lucky was there, with his hair tussled, his breathing rapid, his face red even in the pale moonlight. He must have ran all the way, she thought. The thought of Lucky running towards her in the dead silence of the night made her smile. She could always count on him. She walked over and opened the window.
Lucky: Elizabeth! Are you all right?
Liz: I am now.....Lucky, I wonder if there would ever be the day when you would never have to ask me if I was all right......
Lucky: Do you want to tell me what happened?
Lucky climbed into the room, closed the window. His sharp and concerned blue eyes were taking in every little detail of Liz. Her face was pale, the evidence of tears clear, her lips were close to white. But what alarmed him the most were her eyes. Those hazel eyes were looking so helpless. He didn't think. He took a big step and pulled her into his arm. He held her tightly. His one hand stoke her hair gently, the other rest on her waist protectively. Liz didn't protest. She leaned into him, closed her eyes, buried her face in his shoulder. That shoulder she had depended on all these months. That shoulder she wished could be with her on her bed when a night like this had disturbed her slumber. Lucky held on to her so tightly, they looked like a couple of regular lovers savoring each other's scent before they had to part. And he did. Liz always smelled of a summer garden. Even when she was at her most distressed state. Even when they lived on the street a few months ago. He wondered how she managed to smell like that while he offended himself sometimes. She seemed to be at her most distressed state at this moment. He loosened his grip, and looked at her. Her eyes were tearing up again.
Lucky: Tell me, please tell me what's wrong.
Liz: Lucky.....I am having those nightmares again. I don't understand it. We found the rapists...He is off the streets now....why am I having those dreams again now?
Lucky: Elizabeth, all these talking to the DA and the Police about the trial these past several days must have set that off. You have been so brave about repeating again and again to them about what happened that night....
Liz: yeah....I guess you are right....I just really really want to leave that part of my life behind already....I don't want any more nightmare, any more talking about what happened again and again....and now this is going on trial, all the kids in school all know about it....I am really tired of their pity......I just want to get on with my life....
Lucky: We are gonna get through this trial, Ok? Tony is going to jail for a long time, and your world will be back to order.....I promise you....
Liz: yeah....I know that ....in theory....but I just want it to be over like 3 months ago.....
Lucky: I wish I can make it easier for you......I am sorry I can't do that...
Liz: Lucky, you are the one person in the world that would never have to apologize to me........ you are my life line. You have done everything for me.....
Lucky: I wish I can help you get some sleep......
Liz: Maybe you can....I am already feeling better because you are here.....
Lucky: I will stay for however long you need me........
Liz: You might want to move in if that's the case.......(laughs)
Lucky: Hey, if your grandmother is ok with it, I will have everything packed in 20 minutes!
Liz:( chuckles ) I believe you can. But I have a feeling Gram is not gonna go for it....
Lucky: I think you are probably right. But I can stay tonight if you want me to.....
Liz: Would you please?
Lucky: Of course! Come on, get in bed little one. Time for a bedtime story.
Liz: Only one story?
Lucky: It is kind of late for more than that....
Liz walked over to the bed, got in it. Lucky started to pull a chair over, Liz tugged at his other hand, looked up at him. Lucky stopped pulling the chair, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He stroke Liz's face, pushed a few strings of her hair back away from her face, leaned down, kissed her on her forehead. Liz smiled, closed her eyes, her hand was still holding on to Lucky's hand. She opened her eyes again momentarily to look at Lucky, who was smiling tenderly at her. She closed her eyes once again. Her breathing gradually steadied. The frown on her face relaxed, her lips also relaxed, and opened ever so slightly. Lucky kept his eyes on her, kept her hand in his. His thumb softly, slowly rubbed the top of her hand back and forth. His eyes fixed on Liz until they couldn't stay open any longer. He lay his head down beside Liz's, his body slid down till he was sitting on the floor. He pulled his hand closer to his face with Liz's hand still entangled with it. He softly kissed Liz's hand, looked up at her face, saw that she was finally sleeping peacefully, and he let the waves of sleepiness consumed him.There in the silvery moon light, was just the two of them, lying head against head, hand in hand, sleeping peacefully.
To Be Continued......................
chapter 2
RECAP: Lucky came to Liz's room after she called him and told him she was having nightmares again.
The morning was here, once again. The sun shone through the window and left a beautiful pattern with the help of the trees outside. Lucky awoke with a pain in his neck. He absent-mindedly rubbed the back of his neck, stretched and opened his eyes. Where was Liz? He franticly stood up when he saw that the bed was empty. He turned around and let out a breath. Liz was sitting in front of her desk, her head was leaning very far down toward the desk, a pen in her hand which was doing some very fast writing. The sun light danced on her hair, and turned it into a mesmerizing golden color that Lucky ached to touch. What was she doing? Had she been up all night? Lucky walked over by her, wasn't sure if he should say something. Liz was concentrating on whatever she was writing on the notebook, she hadn't seem to notice that Lucky was right beside her. He stood there by her for what seemed like forever until she finally put the pen down.
Lucky: Have you been up all night?
Liz was startled at the sound of Lucky's voice, she turned her head and saw Lucky.
Liz: Lucky....I didn't hear you get up.......No, I've only been up for a little while.
Lucky: From where I stood, I thought it might take an asteroid to get your attention.....what was it?
Liz: What was what?
Lucky: What was it that you were writing? Have you been secretly writing the next bestseller? ( he grinned )
Liz: No........( she closed her notebook nervously ) It was just something that I was thinking about.....kind of like a journal I guess....
Lucky: Well, I guess you are not planning on sharing....but since it's your journal, I won't make you share.
Liz: Thank you......it's nothing that you haven't heard anyway.....Having you around is better than keeping a journal, I could just tell you everything or take you everywhere with me, and you'd remember everything for me.
Lucky: That's exactly how you are to me. I couldn't have said it better. You are my journal.
Liz: ( smiled) I guess we better make sure we don't lose each other, huh? Or we'd never be able to write an autobiography or something later.
Lucky: As far as I'm concerned, you are stuck with me.
Liz turned her gaze back to her notebook, she looked back at Lucky with something unreadable in her eyes. She was about to say something when the phone rang. Liz picked up the phone.
Liz: Yes, Ms. Jenson! HI! ( she looked at Lucky who was also paying attention to the conversation ) This morning? Yeah, I am sure I can....but why? I thought we went through......what? WHAT? ( she stood up, Lucky walked closer to her, put his hand on her arm ) Are you serious? Yes, I will be right there!
Liz put down the phone, and covered her mouth with her hand.
Lucky: What is it? Elizabeth? Please say something!
Liz: Tony is pleading guilty.....he is pleading guilty.....there is no need for a trial now....Ms. Jenson wants me to go to the PCPD to sign some paper work this morning.....
Lucky: That is great!! There won't be a trail which means you won't have to testify! Tony pleads guilty, he is going to be in jail for a long time! Elizabeth, that's great!
Liz sat down on the chair slowly, her hands were trembling. She looked at Lucky with a smile, tears that had been in her eyes since she hung up the phone were rolling down her cheeks. Lucky squatted down in front her, put his hands on hers. Liz leaned forward and pulled Lucky toward her. He wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could. Liz was sobbing. Lucky didn't say a word. He just held her close and closed his eyes. He thought about all those months of pain and anger Liz had been through, all those nights she couldn't sleep for the nightmares, all those mornings with dark circles under her eyes, all that agony of not knowing whether Murty was the rapist, all those tears she had shed in front of him, and lots more not in front of him. Now she would finally get the justice she had been searching for so long. Tony was going jail, hopefully for a long time. She could finally put everything behind her, and really begin her life again. Lucky's own tears rolled down his cheeks. Liz was the one that pulled away first. She looked into Lucky's eyes. Those blue eyes that always seemed to be looking into her soul. Those eyes that were once again shedding tears for her. How many times had Lucky cried for her? How many nights had he been there when she couldn't even make herself close her eyes? How many times had he been the one saving her from going over the edge? How long had he been the one that could always make her happy? How long had he been the one she first ran to no matter what happened? How long had he been the one she wanted to talked to last at night, and the one she wanted to see when she opened her eyes in the morning? How long, had she been in love with him? She was startled at the thought. When did it stop being a crush? Maybe it was never a crush to begin with. She just didn't know it. But at this moment, this moment that she was looking into those amazing blue eyes of his, she was realizing that she would never be able to live without Lucky. She would never stop loving Lucky. She smiled at that thought. She supposed there could have been worse things in life. Lucky saw her smile, and responded with the same tilted-up lips. His eyes never left hers. He held out his hands to her, and stood up. Liz took his hands, and stood up as well.
Lucky: I guess we have some papers to sign at the police department, don't we?
Liz: I guess we do........
Lucky: Well, I am ready to go now. What about you? Are you going as you are?
Liz: ( looked down at her pajamas ) Are you kidding? Didn't your mom teach you anything about not teasing a woman about her outfits? Of course I am gonna have to change!!
Lucky: ( smiled) Well, then change!
Liz: I would if you would turn around for a while.
Lucky: Oh, I am sorry! I will wait for you outside. Go ahead.
Liz: Un, Lucky, you don't have to go outside. It's a little weird for you to be sitting on the roof of Gram's house. Just turn around. I won't be long.
Lucky's face turned the faintest pink. His eyes looked around the room for a moment, finally nodded his head slightly, and turned around with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Liz pulled out an outfit from her closet, turned her head around to see that Lucky was still standing with his back to her. She took her pajamas off, and put on the jeans and T-shirt quickly. Lucky was not moving. He was aware of all the noise Liz was making opening and closing the closet. He could hear the clothes swishing while being taken off and putting on. He was not comfortable. What was he doing standing in a room while a woman changed her clothes? He should have gone outside of the window. Elizabeth trusted him. But he was not sure he wanted her to trust him this much. He was in love with the girl for god's sake! They haven't even kissed, and here he was in the same room with her knowing she was changing her clothes. What kind of man was he? Liz walked up behind him, and tapped on his shoulder. He didn't turn around. Liz pulled him around. Their eyes locked. Liz smiled. His lips twitched a little, didn't quite turn into a smile.
Liz: I am ready.
Lucky: All right. I am gonna go down and ring your doorbell, so your grandmother won't see me coming down from your room.
Liz: Good idea. I will see you in a minute.
Lucky nodded his head, turned around and got out of the window. He turned around in time to see Liz smiling at him. He turned around again and started down the roof.
Liz opened her door and walked out of the room.
chapter 3
RECAP: Liz got a phone call from Dara Jenson who told her that Tony had decided to plead guilty. Liz and Lucky were getting ready to go down to the PCPD to sign some papers.
Liz and Lucky had just walked out from the PCPD. Liz took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Lucky was watching her closely. Liz opened her eyes a moment later, turned to Lucky.
Liz: I guess that's it, huh?
Lucky: Yes, that was it. You won't have to worry about the guy that raped you being on the streets anymore.
Liz: You know, it's funny, I have waited to be free of his threat for so long, and now that it's finally come true, I don't know what I'm gonna do!
Lucky: Well, You can do whatever you want to do! We should celebrate!
Liz: I can do whatever I want to do.......oh, god, that sounds so good........( she looked up at the sky ) You know, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I am gonna celebrate. I'm gonna be free! ( Looked back at Lucky) You have any suggestions?
Lucky: Well, we can go to the movies, we can go to the docks and fish, we can.......(he suddenly looked at Liz ) Elizabeth, do you trust me?
Liz: ( somewhat confused ) You know I do. I trust you with my life! Why do you ask?
Lucky: Because I want to take you somewhere different. I want to take you somewhere that I've never taken anyone before. I need you to get your swimming suit.
Liz: You are taking me swimming?
Lucky: ( grinned) That would be the part I'm not telling. I just need you to trust me.
Liz: Ok......I trust you. Let's go get my swimsuit. What about you? Wouldn't you need your swimsuit?
Lucky: Well, I guess I would.......Let's swing by my house first, then we will go get your swimsuit.
Liz: All right.
Liz and Lucky went to Lucky's house and got his swimsuit. Lucky kicked Liz out of his room for a moment to make a mysterious phone call. Liz was baffled, but she didn't ask anything. She said she trusted Lucky, and she meant it. She would follow Lucky anywhere in the world if he'd let her. She was in deep, she thought. How did this happen? When did she fall in love with him? Was it the first time they met? God, what a different person she was back then! She had thought scaming was the only way to get Lucky's attention. She had envied His closeness with his family which she didn't have with her own family. It had nearly drove her insane when she figured out that Lucky was interested in Sarah. Things seemed to have changed since ...... since the rape. Lucky hadn't talked about Sarah at all. He hadn't even wanted to say hi to Sarah when he was over to see her. What exactly did he think of her? And Sarah? Had he changed his mind about Sarah? After all, he had made the special tape for her, and the even more special song that he wrote just for her. The song that she had been listening to millions of times. Could he have the same feelings for her? Could he have thought of her as more than a friend? Could he possibly want her to be more than a friend? Would she be fooling herself if she hoped for that? Liz's face darkened. Could he ever get over the fact that she was raped? Could she ever be kissed without a flinch, be touched without frowning? The moments she had spent with Lucky had made her think that maybe it was possible for her to get close to someone. She had loved the feeling of Lucky's arms around her. She had loved having Lucky in the room with her at night, with his hands gently comfort her when she was scared. But what would happen if he really kissed her? Would she run away again? Would he think she was hopeless if she did? She couldn't bare to think that. She couldn't.
Lucky came out of his room with a mysterious smile on his face. She smiled back weakly, didn't ask him about the phone call. They went back to Liz's place to get her swimsuit. Liz contemplated for a moment and decided to take the two piece suit instead of the one piece she had always sported since the rape. She wanted to be free today. She wanted to know that she had every right to wear what she wanted to wear and not feel bad about it.
They took a cab. Lucky told Liz that the place they were going could not be reached by a bus. Lucky held Liz's hand in the cab all the way to their destination. She still didn't know where they were going because Lucky had whispered to the driver about the destination. She didn't care. She would have been happy if the cab ride turned out to be the surprise place he was taking her. He had held her hand as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. She had lay her head down on Lucky's shoulder. She had closed her eyes and took in his scent. A mix of cinnamon spice and the faintest trace of sweat. She smiled. Who would have thought a guy like Lucky would like the smell of cinnamon spice?
The cab stopped. Liz slowly opened her eyes, wishing that the ride would never end. She regretfully looked around and saw that they were at a small dock. There was only one boat docked in the water. They got out of the cab, Lucky smiled at her when he saw the questions in her eyes. He held on to her hand once again and helped her on the boat. A man was already onboard. He nodded slightly to Lucky, took his hat off and nodded to Liz, then put the hat back on.
Liz: Ok, Lucky. Is this another transportation to get us where we are going, or is this the destination?
Lucky: I would say it's a little of both.
Liz: BOTH?
Lucky: You'll see.
They settled in the boat, Lucky gave the man a go ahead. And he started the boat. They took off and got farther and farther away from the duck. The wind was blowing right in their faces, and it felt wonderful. Just as Liz was about to tell Lucky that she loved the boat ride, the boat stopped. Lucky went up the front of the boat and untied a big piece of floating device which looked a lot like a jet ski. He tied the rope that was attached to the end of the boat to the front of the device, and dropped it in the water. Liz just stared at him. Lucky turned and saw her expression and laughed.
Lucky: Come on. Take your shorts off,and put the life jacket on.We are getting on that.
Liz: THAT?? What do you mean?
Lucky: We are going to get on the SKI BOB and sit down. Come on.
Liz: SKI BOB? Um, what's the matter with the boat?
Lucky: The boat is perfectly fine. But we are gonna have some fun! Come on.
Liz looked at Lucky and back at the floating device, or ski bob, so he called it. She finally took off her shorts, and put on her life jacket. Lucky had already got on the ski bob, and was holding out his hands to her. She stepped closer to the side of the boat, swung her legs over, and tried to get on the ski bob. She lost her balance when she tried to straddle the ski bob. The ski bob started to flip over, Lucky steadied it, and her. Lucky was sitting behind her. Liz held on to the handles in front of her, Lucky had his arms by her sides, and held on to the side of the ski bob. Their bodies were close together as if they were on a motorcycle. Liz could feel Lucky's breath on the back of her neck. She swallowed, and trembled some, and hoped that Lucky hadn't felt it. Unbeknownst to her was the same reaction Lucky was having himself.
Lucky: Ok, hold on tight. This isn't hard, but don't be scared. I'm right here. Ok?
Liz nodded her head. Lucky yelled something to the man in the boat, and he started the engine. All of a sudden Liz felt herself moving so fast as if she was flying! The boat was pulling the ski bob that Lucky and Liz were on. The water splashed on her face, she had to wipe her eyes constantly. But she was laughing. She was laughing! The water had soaked her, and more than likely Lucky as well. She tried leaning forward and felt Lucky's hand on her waist pulling her back. She leaned back against him. Lucky would keep her safe. She was flying down the river, and she was not scared. God! How she loved this feeling! She was not scared at all!
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