Chapter 1

I arrived in Orlando and didn't know a sole. That's they way I wanted it. My divorce settlement had netted me quite a bit of money and I just wanted a fresh start somewhere. I deserved a fresh start. I was in a very abusive first marriage. My husband beat me all the time. He was an alcoholic. I married young and to an older man. I'd stayed as long as I could. Even now my jaw was sore and my eyes were still bruised. I made my way through the airport and headed for a cheap hotel. It was Sunday morning so I picked up a Sunday paper and checked into my hotel room. I didn't bother to unpack I had only paid for one night. I was hoping to find an apartment soon. I was a writer so I could support myself just fine from home. I needed this for me right now. I scoured the newspaper and circled a few potential apartments. I hoped to find something by the beach. I found a map at the front desk and started making my way to some of the apartment buildings. The first one I saw was a dumpy building. I turned on the kitchen light and the roaches scattered. No thank you I told the apartment manager. I moved on to a few more and finally decided on one that was a little more than I wanted to pay but it was perfect. It was a high rise apartment building with an ocean view.

It was a corner apartment so I had a wonderful view. "Your neighbor next door is in the entertainment business and is hardly ever home," the manager offered. "When is it available?" "It's available now." "I'll take it." We went downstairs and I filled out a rental application and he ran my credit and told me it was mine. "When can I move in?" "You've got the keys, whenever you want." "Great, I'll be back tomorrow." I paid him the rent and the deposit and headed back to the hotel. I called my agent in New York and gave her my new address. I told her I'd have a phone number tomorrow. First I had to buy a phone. I was a pretty famous author and had enough money of my own for a comfortable living. "Jack's looking for you." "For heaven's sake don't tell him you've talked to me." "Are you all right?" "I'm starting over, I'll be all right." She asked me to keep in touch. I went to the local furniture store and picked out some furniture. I found the basics. Bed and living room furniture and a kitchen table. I had to buy everything. Jack would be paying for it all. It was a condition of the divorce settlement. I'd start over and he'd pay for it. I bought a car. I'd need that to get around. I felt free again. I stopped off at Best Buy and bought a computer and music CD's. I headed back to the apartment building and put what I had in the apartment. I was starving now. I headed back to the hotel and retrieved my bags and checked out. I stopped for fast food and headed back to my apartment. I would sleep on the floor tonight. It wouldn't be the first time. I'd slept in a bathtub before so I knew I'd be all right. Sleep didn't come easy for me. I still had nightmares. I'd wake up thinking Jack had found me. He always promised to kill me. I'd live in fear for the rest of my life. The sun was shining when I woke up. I looked at my wristwatch 8:30am. I wasn't expecting my furniture until this afternoon. The apartment came with a stove and dishwasher. I went downstairs and walked around the block to Mc Donald. I ordered my breakfast and went back home. Home, it was mine all mine. I passed a discount electronics store and walked inside. I purchased a stereo. I carried it the rest of the way home. I entered the building and headed upstairs. I made my way inside and I could hear the radio blaring next door. So much for my neighbors never being home. I waited for the delivery trucks to come. They eventually did and I had furniture now. I passed by my neighbor's door and was tempted to knock and ask them to turn it down but I figured, why? I went down to my car and drove to the mall and bought linens for my bed and towels. I bought dishes and flatware. I headed to the grocery store I was wondering how I was going to get everything up to my apartment. I ended up making three trips. I started to put my life together. I had a phone and the bills would now come in my name. Jack would deposit money into an account in New York and my attorney would wire it to my bank in Florida. It had to be a cashier's check too. So he couldn't pull any crap about being overdrawn or stopping payment on the check. Jack hated me. He really hated me. I fixed myself something for dinner and began to put my computer together. I still had my laptop that's one thing Jack didn't get. He got practically everything else. I didn't want any of it. He kept the New York apartment. The house upstate, the house in California. The boats, I let him have it all. I just wanted out. I took a shower and dressed for bed. The music started blaring again and I could hear people talking next door. I tried to ignore it. It was going on 1am and I couldn't stand it anymore. I put on my robe and headed next door. I knocked on the door and a man answered. "Would you mind turning the music down? I just moved in next door this morning and I'm trying to sleep." He apologized and introduced himself as Nick Carter. "Nice to meet you could you please turn down the music so I can get some sleep?" "I will, and again, I'm sorry." As I was stepping into my apartment I glanced back at him and he was staring at me. He jumped back into his apartment when I looked back. He turned the music off and I was able to fall asleep.

Chapter 2

I woke up screaming and sweaty. I couldn't get the thought of Jack's threat to me out of my head. How was I ever going to get on with my life? I went into the bathroom and washed off the sweat. I headed back to bed and tried to fall asleep. It was no use. It was 5:30am so I got up and dressed for a run. There was a beach across the street and I could run there. I headed downstairs about 6am and stretched and took off across the street. I had my headphones on and was making good time when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I dropped to the ground and covered myself. I looked up and it was my neighbor. He was shocked at my reaction. "What the hell are you trying to do? You scared me half to death." "I'm sorry, I run every day and I recognized you from last night." He helped me up and apologized for scarinme. "It's okay." "Would you mind if I ran with you?" "No, I'm fine but thank you." I ran down the strip with tears streaking my face. Jack had taken my life from me. I will never be able to get on with it. I ran until I couldn't stand it anymore and then turned and started to run back towards my apartment. I was still crying still afraid of every shadow. I checked my mail when I entered the building and talked to the doorman for a few minutes. I told him I was new to the building and which apartment I lived in. I told him I don't know a sole so if anyone asks for me please tell them I don't live here. He looked confused but I'm sure my black and blue eyes told the story for me. "It certainly was nice to meet you." I went to the elevator. When the door opened I walked in as my neighbor Nick was walking out. Causing him to drop his briefcase. "I'm sorry," I said as I recoiled. "No harm done." He picked up his briefcase and newspaper. "By the way I never got your name?" "It's Kelly." "Nice to see you again Kelly, again I apologize for earlier." I pressed the button just looking at him. I went upstairs and took a shower and called New York. I called my therapist and asked if she had a referral for me yet because I really need to talk to someone. She did, she gave me the name and address and told me I had an appointment for 4 this afternoon. "Thank you," I said. She wished me luck. I unpacked the rest of my belongings and played some music. I decided that I would work on my next book until it was time to go to my new therapist. I was so into it that I didn't realize that it was time to go until the phone rang. It was my therapist calling to confirm a 4pm appointment. I looked at my watch 3:45pm. "I'll be there." "I thought since you were new to the area, I'd give you directions." "That would be great, let me find a pen. Okay, ready." I thanked her and told her I'd be there at 4. I went down to my car and as I was leaving my neighbor was just pulling in. He waved and I just smiled as I left. We drove the same vehicle. Small world I thought. I made my way through the streets of Orlando and made it to my therapist's office. I specifically asked for a female therapist, as I didn't trust men at all anymore. "I'm still having the nightmares." "I can prescribe something to help you sleep." "I'm set up in the apartment but lived in fear that my ex-husband Jack is going to come after me." "Are you taking your antidepressants?" "I am but what does that have to do with my fears?" "Nothing. You were in a very abusive, inhumane relationship with a poor excuse for a man. It's only natural for you to feel the way you are feeling. It's also important for you to understand that not every man is like Jack." "Right now that's just how I feel." We went over my case history, she wanted to make sure the information she had was correct. "I don't know how you survived." "Did I?" "You've had 13 broken bones. All from Jack?" I said sarcastically, "no I fell." "Kelly, it's important that you trust me. If you don't trust me then it's important for you to find another therapist." "I'm sorry, I just moved into a new apartment and already had a few run ins with my next door neighbor. Nick. He scared the hell out of me this morning while I was out for my run. Now he wants to be my friend. I just can't do it." "In your own time, you will learn to trust people again." I booked an appointment for the next week and filled my prescription for the sleeping pills. I stopped off and had a bite to eat and went down to the beach. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I walked along the sand and found some shells. I picked them up and put them in my pocket. It was getting late and I headed home. I parked my car in my stall and took the elevator upstairs. I entered the hall and walked towards my end and I heard the music. I just ignored it. My bedroom was against his bedroom and he apparently had company tonight. I went into the living room and turned on my computer and made some hot cocoa. I began writing and before I knew it the sun was up. I changed and went downstairs for my run. I ran in the opposite direction today hoping to avoid my neighbor. I didn't see him until I was heading back to the apartment. He was coming from the opposite direction. He held the door of the elevator open for me. I told him I'd catch the next one. "Don't be silly we live right next door to each other." I reluctantly stepped into the elevator and stood with my back against the wall. I turned my head set back on so I wouldn't have to talk to him. He reached out and touched my arm and I jumped. I took the headphones off and he apologized. "What's wrong with you?" With that the doors opened and I ran to my apartment.

Chapter 3

I just stood at my door crying. I finally calmed myself down and went and took a shower. I could hear Nick through the walls singing. He was also in his shower. It pained me that he could be so happy. I dressed and went to work on my book. I would just have to lose myself in my work. I'd been working for a few hours when I heard a knock on the door. It scared me. I looked through the peephole and saw Nick standing on the other side. "Yes?" I said through the door. "Some of your mail got mixed up with mine." I opened the door and kept the chain on. I stuck my hand through the door and he put it into my hand. As he did this, his hand touched mine and I recoiled as if it burnt me. He just looked at me, "would you like to talk?" "It's not a good time I'm working." "OK I'm right next door if you ever need anything. I wrote my phone number on one of your envelopes." Thanks I said. I closed the door and looked at the mail. It was all junk mail. I dropped it on the table and returned to my computer. I kept working only to be interrupted several hours later by extreme hunger. I got my sweater and headed down to the elevator. I saw Nick standing with a girl and they were waiting for the elevator too. I turned to go back to the apartment but he saw me. "Kelly, Hi again." "Hello," I said. He introduced me to his sister Leslie. "Nice to meet you." "Are you going down?" "Yes but I just realized I forgot something. I'll catch the next one." I went back into my apartment and waited 5 minutes. I then went back to the elevator and rode down to the parking garage. Nick was waving good bye to his sister. I tried to sneak by him but he saw me. "Hey Kelly, where are you going?" "Out for a bite to eat." "Would you mind if I tag along." I was going to object but he said, "I don't bite. We're neighbors you're obviously from out of town." "How do you know that?" "Your accent, where is it New York? Boston?" "New York." "Do you mind if I come with you?" "Fine but just behave." He just looked at me. I got in and unlocked his door. "Nice car." I knew what he meant by that. I got in the car and backed out. He stretched his hand over the top of the seat and I flew back against the driver's side door. Nick said, "what did he do to you?" I just sat there crying. "Let's go back up we'll order take out from the Chinese food place around the corner." I pulled back into the stall and we went up to my apartment. "Where's the phone?" I pointed to it and went to the bathroom. I was scared and lonely and just so tired of it. I came back out and Nick was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands I sat on the love seat across from him. He turned on the lights. "Do you want to talk about it?" "It's too hard." "Someone has obviously hurt you." "My ex-husband." I filled him in on some of the details and he just shook his head in disbelief. "Why?" "I'm an author. A pretty popular author. He was jealous of my success and his lack of success." "It still didn't give him the right too..." There was a loud knock on the door and I jumped. "It's just the deliveryman." He got up and paid for the food and came back to the table. "Why are you so jumpy all the time?" "Because he promised to kill me." I was crying and I couldn't stop. Nick tried to hold me but I couldn't let him touch me. I walked away. I went into the bathroom and wiped my face. "This is a very secure building, you don't have to worry." "You don't know Jack, he would find a way if he really wanted to get in here." "Let's eat before this gets cold." We made small talk and I told him about my writing. "I write under a fictitious name." "Because of your ex-husband?" "No, I just always did." "What kind of books do you write?" "Mysteries." "I'd like to read one if you got one." "Once the rest of my stuff is shipped here I'll give you some copies." I offered to pay for half the food but he refused. "I guess I better get going. I'm just through the wall, call me if you ever get scared." I thanked him and he left. I changed for bed and cleaned up the kitchen. I lied down and fell asleep easily. I again woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I jumped in the shower to try feel better. I went back to bed and couldn't sleep. I got up and worked on my book. At sun up I went downstairs to run. I ran in the opposite direction hoping to run into Nick. I didn't see him. I turned around and headed back home. I got up stairs and Nick was waiting for the elevator. He had a suitcase in his hand. "Good morning." I just stared at his suitcase. "You're leaving?" "Yes, I'll be out of town for the next two weeks." "Oh, good bye then." I was just getting used to him and now he's leaving. I went back to my apartment and took a shower and made some breakfast. I was reading the newspaper when my telephone rang. I nearly split through my skin. I answered it on the fourth ring. "Hello?" "Kelly?" "Who's calling?" "It's Nick." I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were all right." "How did you get my phone number?" "Last night when I called in for Chinese." "Oh, that's right. I'm fine, where are you?" "I'm heading for the airport. I'm on my way to Europe." "How fun!" "You know, if it's OK I'd like to call you sometime." "Sure, well now that you have my number." I tried to joke about it. "Okay, then. I'll call you tomorrow sometime." He hung up and I went back to my paper.

Chapter 4

The days flew past and it was time to see my therapist again. I told her about Nick and what had been transpiring during the past week. "Do you trust him?" "Not completely. A little, just a little." "It's a start." "The sleeping pills aren't working." "I will prescribed a stronger pill for you, but you have to be very careful. Take only what I prescribe." The summer was winding down so when I left her I went to the beach and sat on the sand just staring into the ocean. I grabbed my sketchpad and chalks and began to draw. It's something I hadn't done in a long time and was really trying to get back into. Once I left there I went by the art supply store and bought an easel and some paints. I was feeling creative again and needed a break from my book. I needed to feel motivated again. I couldn't wait to get home. I pulled into the stall and carried my things to the elevator and up to my apartment. I walked inside and my apartment had been ransacked. I immediately closed the door and locked it and ran down the stairwell. I banged on the manager's door. "What's wrong?" "Call the police someone has broken into my apartment." "Is anything missing?" "I don't know, please just call the police." The police came in thirty-five minutes. "What took you so long?" They gave me a look that said don't mess with me. As we rode up in the elevator I told them of my ex-husbands threat on my life and I feared it was him and he may still be in the apartment. I unlocked the door and they went in with guns drawn. They noted the damage and asked if everything was accounted for. I told them yes. My furniture was slashed open. Even my bed was cut open and the stuffing and springs poking through. "Is there somewhere you can stay tonight?" "No I don't know anyone." I heard a voice in the doorway say, "yes she does." Nick was standing in the doorway. "Was this Jack?" I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know for sure, but my money is on him." The police checked my story and started to dust for fingerprints. "You won't find fingerprints here. My guess is you'll find no fingerprints. at all." "Get some clothes you are coming with me." I had no choice. I grabbed an overnight bag and some clothes. The police didn't want me to disturb anything so with gloved hands I grabbed my toiletries and laptop computer that was unharmed. Nick led me next door. "I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in my bed." "The couch was fine for me." He insisted that I take his bed. I was exhausted and I changed for bed and went to sleep. At 3:30am I woke up screaming and sweating again. Nick turned the light on and woke me up. "Kelly, it's just a dream. You're safe, it was only a dream." I looked at him and said, "he's going to kill me." I just sobbed and I couldn't stop. I got out of bed and grabbed my bag. "What are you doing?" "I've got to get out of here. If I stay you are in danger too. He'll kill you and then me." "Let's just wait and see what the police find out first. Maybe it wasn't even him." "It was him all right." Nick tucked me back into bed and brought me a glass of water. I took a sleeping pill and went back to sleep. I woke up at 10 am. I was so disoriented. I then remembered where I was. I walked out of Nick's bedroom and he was asleep on the couch. I went back into the bedroom and got dressed. I walked through the living room and out the door. I went next door to my apartment and went inside. Everything had black powder on it. I closed and locked the door behind me. I couldn't believe the destruction. I walked through the house and went into my bedroom to take a shower and change my clothes. I closed my bathroom door and written in lipstick on the back of the door was "you're going to die Bitch" I screamed. I opened the door and through my living room I opened the front door and Nick was standing there. I jumped into his arms and cried. "What is it?" He asked. He closed my apartment door and led me back to his apartment. He sat me down on the couch and I wouldn't let go of him. I was shaking and crying. Nick said, "what happened?" "Jack left a note. I closed the bathroom door and written in lipstick was...," "Kelly, it's all right." He called the police station. "Mr. Carter we've got a print. It belonged to Jack Freeman. We are in the process of issuing an arrest warrant for vandalism, death treat, and for disobeying a court order to stay away from his ex-wife. We're looking for him now. He wiped the place clean. We didn't find any prints in the apartment. But he must have fell while he was destroying her property because wegot both his handprints on the floor." Nick was shocked, "how did you know to look on the floor?" "His hands were bloodied. There were two perfectly shaped handprints in blood." "If you need to contact Kelly do it at this number. Can we take care of the apartment now?" "Sure, we're finished." After Nick relayed the conversation to me, he asked if I had renters insurance. I told him I did. "Where are those papers?" I told him and he went to go get them. It had just dawned on me that he was back early. When he walked in I asked him why he was home? He looked at me with a strange look. "You said you'd be gone two weeks." "10 days is two weeks to me." Nick called my insurance agent and she said not to touch the apartment she'd be by to survey the damage. Nick told her to come up to his apartment. I would be staying with him for awhile.

Chapter 5

I called my therapist and scheduled an emergency session. "I'll take you Kel." "I'll be fine." "Jack is out there somewhere. The police haven't found him yet." "Why are you being so nice to me?" "Let's just say I understand what your going through." "How can you understand this?" "I just do. Let's go, you're going to be late." I've never been so afraid in my entire life. I got in the back of Nick's car and ducked down. Nick drove out of the underground parking garage and drove directly to my therapist. She was afraid for me. "How are you handling all this?" "I've never been this afraid in my entire life." "Have the police had found Jack yet?" "I don't know." "Where are you staying?" "With my neighbor." She raised her eyebrows, which neighbor?" "Nick, but it's not what you think." "I'm just a surprised." "I had no where else to go." Her phone rang and she asked me to hold on a second. She was very subdued and told the person that they'd tell me. She started out by telling me that she had some distressing news. "Jack was dead." I don't why know why I cried. I couldn't believe it. Apparently they had him cornered and he made some comment about not going to prison because of me. He shot himself. Once I was able to digest the news my therapist asked if I needed someone to take me home. "Nick is waiting." She called him in while I went and straightened up. She filled him in on all the details and he was relieved for me. "Are you all right?" He took me home. My insurance adjuster had come and taken a record of all the damages. I had to fly to New York to ID the body and to finalize things with my attorneys. I took a taxi from the morgue and went to my attorney. Jack had never changed his will and everything was left to me. His family was fighting me for it. I didn't care. I'd spent two weeks in New York and was heading back to my life in Florida. My flight landed at noon. I drove by the insurance office and picked up my check for the replacement furniture. I had shipped a lot of furniture from my New York apartment and had it transferred to Florida. I parked my vehicle and went upstairs. I was tempted to knock on my neighbor's door but decided against it. I went inside and my furniture had already arrived. The manager had let the movers in. I replaced my linens on my new bed and cleaned up a little. I fixed myself something for dinner and hopped in the shower. I'd had an exhausting two weeks and went to bed early. Jack's funeral was miserable. His parents didn't especially like me there but I had to make sure his body was put into the ground. I still had my nightmares and subconsciously felt that he'd somehow cheated death. I kept waking in the middle of the night. My dreams lately seemed more vivid. The outside wounds had healed but what that man did to me inside just killed my spirit. I spent the next week inside writing. I didn't even go for my run. I was feeling my life slipping away from me. I was lonely and miserable. My therapist has recommended group therapy for me now and I think I'll try it. My first session is tonight. I changed my clothes three times. I can't remember when I've been so nervous. I quickly ate something and headed out the door. I was surprised to see Nick in the hallway with a woman. He was more surprised to see me. " When did you get back?" "A week ago." I told him. He didn't believe me. I walked passed him. He let the woman into his apartment and ran after me. "Where are you going?" "I was late for a date." "Oh," he said. "You've got someone waiting too." I got into the elevator and left. "The group had a total of 10 people. People were there for a variety of reasons. I was determined to just listen tonight so I didn't do much talking. They all go out for coffee but I'm just not ready and head home instead. I notice that Nick's car is gone and go upstairs. I take a quick shower and go over to my easel. I decide to sit out on my balcony and just people watch. It's a lot of fun. The days are getting shorter and fall is coming. I've been in Florida for 4 months and didn't know much outside my own apartment. I decided that I was going to have change that. I didn't look forward to sleep but it overcame me anyway. I fell asleep outside and woke up screaming at 3:00am. I was disoriented and didn't know where I was. Nick must have heard me because he came out onto his balcony and finally saw me. He thought someone had been thrown over. I apologized and went inside. A few minutes later he was at my door. He walked in and asked me if I was all right? "I'm fine now." "Still having nightmares?" "I don't know why I'm still having them. Jack is dead. You know, it's late and if I remembered correctly you have company." "She left. She wasn't anyone important anyway." He noticed my painting and sketches as he wandered through my apartment. I was not comfortable with him in my apartment. I trusted him more than any man I know but I don't know him. As I stood next to him he stretched his arms out over his head and yawned. My reflexes got the better of me and I dropped to the floor in fear of a blow heading my way. Nick apologized and tried to help me off the floor. I waved him off and got up myself. Nick, just go home, please." He just looked at me. "Why won't you let anyone get close to you? Jack is dead, not you." I was crying now and I knew he was right. Jack still had a hold on me from the grave. I would never be out from under his abuse. Nick reached out his hand again and this time I took it. He pulled me off the floor and asked me if I was going to be OK? I shook my head and said, "I don't think so." Nick left and I went back to bed.

Chapter 6

The next day I got a call from my attorney. I would have to come to court about my ex-husbands estate. His family was petitioning his will. The hearing would be a week from Friday. I told him I'd be there. I went for my run and ran into Nick. "How are you feeling this morning?" "Jack's hold on my life just keeps getting tighter. I have to go to court now." "I'm sorry things worked out for you the way they had." Nick had a major roving eye. I noticed even when he was talking to me he was constantly aware of the other woman around him. I decided to move on. "What's was wrong?" "I just wantd to get back." He ran with me all the way back to the apartment and walked me to my door. He asked me out to dinner and I turned him down. "Why can't we go out?" "I'm just not ready." "We went out on a date last night." "That wasn't a date. It was something else. Besides, I'm sure you have enough phone numbers to keep your sex life on track." He just looked at me. "These walls a very thin." He looked embarrassed. I let myself into my apartment and closed the door. Over the next several weeks I continued to come out of the shell that Jack had pushed me in. I kept up with my weekly sessions and also with the weekly group sessions. Everyone was noticing a difference in my attitude. I had finally finished my book and sent that off to my publicist. The holidays were approaching and Nick had left town. I was invited to one of my friends from therapy. She got together with her sister and a few other group members. "What can I bring?" They said dessert. I spent the day before Thanksgiving baking pies. I had my music on and was actually feeling pretty good. The trip to New York was uneventful and the judge would render his decision after the Holiday. I loaded the pies in my car and headed to Jessica's house. I was the last to arrive. "I was worried that I wouldn't have any dessert." We sat down and had a wonderful dinner and a great conversation. I liked talking to her because she had been through the same ordeal as I had. She knew what I was thinking without me having to say anything. I thanked them all for a wonderful day and I went home. I had been given some leftovers and made myself a turkey sandwich. I worked some more on my painting. I picked up my sketchpad and thought of Nick. I began to draw him. I started with his face. Those amazing eyes and strong jaw line. I drew his muscular arms and torso. I drew his long legs. I started to fill in my defining lines and then put the pad down. "What am I doing?" I don't know why I was drawing him. He is certainly not my type. I received my phone call on Monday that the Will would hold true. I got everything Jack's family got nothing. It was the ultimate revenge. My nightmares were lessening. I would still wake up but I was not screaming. The weather was getting bad. We were expecting another Hurricane and it was expected to be bad. I had no where to go so I stayed in my apartment. Around 7:30 p.m. we lost power. I was nervous and a little scared. The phone lines were down so I couldn't even call Jessica. I had no choice but to go next door. I knocked on his door and he answered wearing only his boxers. I looked away. "Is this a bad time?" "No, why?" "I'm a little scared about the Hurricane." He invited me in. "Do you want to put some clothing on first?" He then realized why I was so uncomfortable. He apologized and told me he had just gotten out of the shower. His hair was dripping wet. "Come in, I'll be back in a minute." He walked in to his bedroom and returned wearing sweats and a shirt. He was rubbing his head with a towel trying to dry his hair. "It's my first Hurricane and I'm nervous." "We'll probably get a little rain but that's all." "Why is the power out?" "OK a lot of wind." As the next few hours went buy we got a lot of rain and a lot of wind. Our building was shaking so violently that I practically attached myself to Nick's side. I was shaking. Nick lit some candles as it got darker and darker. He got up to get a radio and I held onto his belt loop. "I'll be right back." I let go but was afraid to move. It was too dark where we were and I tried to move but kept bumping into things. Nick came out of the bedroom and didn't see me and bumped right into me. We both fell to the ground. I hit my head on a table or something. Nick helped me up and I just held onto my head. Are you OK?" "I'm bleeding I need something." Nick got a flashlight and a towel. "Oh God, I'm so sorry I couldn't see you." "It was just an accident. I'm used to this." The bleeding finally stopped and Nick tried to wash the blood out of my hair. I told him I needed to take a shower. He said to use his. He gave me a pair of sweats and one of his shirts to wear. My head was throbbing. I washed my hair and walked into the living room. Nick had fallen asleep on the couch. I sat down on the floor next to him and fell asleep with my head on his couch. I woke at 3:30 again. It was pitch black and the building was really shaking. I walked over to the window and noticed the devastation that had already occurred. Nick pulled me away from the window. "It's really gotten bad. You don't want to be near the window though." He directed me back to the couch and we sat down together. We just sat in silence until I could hear that Nick had fallen back asleep.

Chapter 7

When I woke up again I had my head on Nick's shoulder and the sun was up. I immediately removed my head from his shoulder. I got up and went to the window. The city below was flooded. Roofs were missing off the businesses below. We were fortunate to be so high up. I let myself out and went back to my apartment. I was sitting on my balcony sketching when Nick scared me by calling my name. "Why'd you leave?" "The storm's over." "What are you doing?" I held up my sketchpad. "May I?" I handed him the pad and he started flipping pages. I had just remembered that he was in the book now when he came to the page with his face on it He turned it around and asked, "who is this?" He had a smile on his face and I couldn't help but smile myself. He got a real serious look on his face and said, "that's the first time I've ever seen you smile." "Can I have my sketchpad back?" "In a minute," the he went into his apartment. I heard a knock at my front door and Nick just walked in. He was still staring at his picture. "You're pretty good at this. "Is there anything you can't do?" He noticed the painting next. "By the way, I have those books for you." I handed him four books. "You wrote all these?" "Those are some of them." "How old are you anyway?" "24 and how old are you?" "26." I offered him some coffee and he looked at me with a strange look. "You want me to stay?" "I trust you." I made us some breakfast and we sat down. "You know I really don't know anything about you but you know everything about me." "I don't know everything." "What don't you know?" "Why you stayed with Jack?" "Because he threatened that if I left I'd get worse than if I stayed. If I had been home that day I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you." "How did you two meet?" "I met him at a party. He was a very attractive man 16 years my senior. He was charming at first. He offered me the world, I just didn't realize the price I would have to pay. I should have realized when I first began to notice his out of control temper. Anyway enough about me what about you?" "What do you want to know?" "Who is Nick Carter?" "I'm a musician. I travel quite a bit but I'm taking some time off. I hope a year. I'm from New York but I've been in Florida for the last 22 years." "Have you ever been married?" "No, I haven't found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with." I smiled at that. "What?" "Thin walls." He wrinkled his forehead. "I know your looking." He got all embarrassed and said, "well I have needs until I find that person." My phone rang it was Jessica. She wanted to make sure I had gotten through the Hurricane all right. "We were fine, how did you fare?" "We had minimal damage but I'll survive." "Can we still meet tonight?" "It all depends on the office.I'll call you back after I check it out." I hung up and Nick was gone. He left my sketchpad behind. I called him on the phone. "Why'd you leave? "I wanted to give you some privacy." "Thank you." "Do you want to go for a walk to survey the damage?" "Nick, our cars are in the underground parking garage." "Oh shit. There probably all flooded out." I met him in the hallway and we took the stairs because we weren't sure of the elevator yet. While the garage was flooded our vehicles were fine. We both drove SUV's and they were high off the ground. Had we driven a car they would have been flooded. We were very fortunate. Nick and I walked along the beachfront and we found coral that had been ripped right from the ocean floor. It was really quiet and not very many people were out on the streets. Nick and I walked to the store and picked up a few things. Our power and phone service had already been restored. We walked by a video store. "Do you want to rent a movie?" "Oh, I don't know." We were starting to spend a lot of time together and I didn't want a relationship with anyone right now. I was having a difficult enough time trying to find out who I was. "I'll pass this time. I'm going out of town so you won't have to baby-sit me." "First of all, I enjoy spending time with you and second, where are you going?" "New York for a week. I have to meet with my publicist. I have an apartment in Manhattan so I'll be all right." "Will you leave a number so I can check up on you?" "Sure, I suppose a phone call wouldn't hurt." We went back to the apartment building and he went to shower and change. I went to work on my drawings again. "I'll see you later." I went inside and packed my suitcase and called my publicist. "I'll pick you up." "Great I'll see you tomorrow afternoon." I worked on my painting again and found myself getting really sleepy. I washed my hands and lied down on the couch. I was asleep in no time. I woke up the next morning. It was the first time I'd slept through the night without waking up. I got up and got dressed. I made some breakfast and Nick knocked on my door. "I came by last night but there was no answer." I was just smiling. "What happened?" "I fell asleep and slept through the night." I had tears in my eyes. "It was the first time in 6 years." I started sobbing at my accomplishment. I didn't even object to Nick wrapping his arms around me.

Chapter 8

I left for the airport and Ginny, my publicist picked me up just like she promised. She noticed a difference in me right away. I was smiling and happy almost bouncing off the airplane. She took me to my apartment so that I could change and unpack. We headed for a restaurant for a business lunch. "What have you been doing in Florida?" "Writing, painting, and sketching mostly.I've been running and dealing with all this Jack mess. Not a whole lot. I'm thinking of moving back to New York. I've just found a really great friend. He's helped me tremendously just by talking to me." Ginny had a huge smile on her face. "It's nothing like you're thinking. Over the past 6 months he's really been there for me. Especially a few months ago when I was dealing with Jack. It's not sexual, it's just a friendship. I'd really hate to lose that because he's the only guy friend I have. I trust him." "Then why move back to New York?" "I don't have a life in Florida. Everyone I know is in New York or California" " "You really haven't done much to meet people in Florida." We talked more business. She wanted another book. I had been offered a three-book deal for a lot of money. Especially if I wrote about Jack. "I'm not ready to write about Jack. I'll call you before I go back to Florida." I was dropped off around the corner from my apartment so that I could pick up some groceries. I walked into my apartment and my telephone was ringing. Nick said hello. "Hi I'm glad you called." "You are?" "Yes, I've gotten used to having you around. My publicist wants me to write about Jack." "Are you ready for that?" "I don't think so." "Then say no." "It's not that easy to say no to this much money." "Would this money make you happy?" "No it wouldn't." "I don't know what you have to think about then." "I wish you were here." Then I quickly apologized. "Why are you apologizing?" "You have a life and you don't need to be mixed up in my life." "I can be in New York tonight if you want me to be." "Let me think about it." "What is there to think about?" "I'm just really nervous." "Then I won't come." "No, come. I want you here." "I'll call you back in a few minutes." 30 minutes later he called me back. "I arrive at 7:30" "Great then we can go to dinner." Nick would be here in 3 hours. I cleaned up the best I could. I haven't been here in a while. I fixed up the guestroom for Nick and called a cab and headed to the airport. Nick wouldn't be landing for another 90 minutes. I walked around the airport and looked into the shops. I bought a magazine and waited at the gate. Nick's airplane arrived 10 minutes early. He walked off the airplane and was looking for me. I walked up to him and he smiled. "Hello." "Were you waiting long?" "No, I got here early because there wasn't anything for me to do at home. Did you check a bag?" We went down to baggage claim and stood in line waiting for a taxi. Nick loves New York City so we would have fun sight seeing. We went back to my apartment and dropped off his suitcase and went to dinner. "I have never done anything like this before. Its a new experience for me. I was never allowed to have friends. I certainly wasn't ever allowed to go out to dinner with another man. I'm a little terrified that I'm going to get caught. Isn't that silly?" "No, it's not silly. You've lived your life in fear for most of your marriage from what I've heard." We finished dinner and went back to my apartment. I had a view of Central Park and Nick thought it was a wonder apartment. I showed him up to his bedroom. I showed him around the place. We walked out onto the terrace and listened to the music from the street below. It was mid December and the streets were full of shoppers. I was exhausted so I turned in early. I woke up early the next morning and Nick was already up and reading a newspaper. He had already gone for a walk. It was almost 9:30. I apologized for sleeping so late. "You've got a lot of sleep to make up for." "Are you always this understanding?" "I'm human." I smiled at him. "Have you eaten?" He said he had. We spent the rest of the week seeing the sites of New York. We even took in a few Broadway plays. I had never ever been to one. On Friday we drove up to my house in the country. It was a huge house. "I'm thinking of moving back to New York." "Why?" "I don't have a life in Florida. I went to Florida to hide. I don't have to do that anymore." The weekend flew by and we headed back to the city. I told Ginny that at this time I would not write about Jack. She was disappointed but she understood. I flew back to Florida with Nick. We spent Christmas together at his apartment. I painted him a picture of the Atlantic Ocean. He loved it. He gave me a necklace. He helped me put it on. He leaned in and kissed me. "Nick?! What are you doing?" "I'm sorry I just wanted to kiss you." "I'm not ready for that." The next few months went by pretty fast. Nick was traveling again and I was writing a new book. I spent the first three months in Florida and then went to New York for March, April, and May. I kept in contact with Nick all the while. I dropped the book off at my publicist and flew home to Florida. I was excited to be home and wanted to see Nick. I dropped my suitcases off and changed and knocked on Nick's door. Nick answered it in his boxers. "Can I come in?" "Uh, um, it's not a good time." Then I saw her.

Chapter 9

My tears started falling and I ran back to my apartment. Nick called after me and I just closed and locked my door. Not six months ago he wanted to take our relationship to another level. Now I come home and he's sleeping with another woman. My first instinct was right. I just couldn't trust men. I changed my clothes and went for a run. I ran until my sides hurt. I started walking back and just sat on the cement wall that lined the parking lot at the beach. I watched all the happy couples and wondered if I'd ever be one of them. I had let myself get close to another man only to be hurt again. I walked back across the street and went upstairs. Nick was sitting in the hall outside my door. He got up when I approached him. He tried to touch me and I wouldn't let him. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't know you were coming back." "Nick, please move away from my door." He wouldn't, I turned to go back to the elevator but he grabbed me by the arm. It totally freaked me out. The doors of the other apartments started to open and Nick let me into my apartment. Nick went into his apartment and jumped from his balcony to mine. He walked in off the balcony and called my name. I walked out from the bedroom and adjusted the locks on the door and asked him to go away. "I'm over here." I spun around to see him standing in my living room. "How did you get in here?" He pointed to the balcony. "Nick, we are on the 22nd floor." "Please forgive me." I walked into my bedroom. "There is nothing to forgive." He followed me to my bedroom. "I was lonely. I couldn't help it. You weren't ready for a relationship and we were spending a lot of time apart." I love you Nick!" He looked at me shocked. "I realize I don't show it. I don't know how too. I had hoped that you loved me too, but I realize I'm just not worthy of anyone's love." "That's not true." I sat down on my bed. "I just don't know what to do Nick. I'm so confused. I came home wanting to be with you." "Why did you call me all the time? Why didn't you tell me you needed me? I've been in love with you for months." I couldn't believe my ears. "It's true. I knew I had strong feelings for you when I came back from Europe and Jack had vandalized my apartment. I seemed so small and so helpless I just wanted to pick you up and carry you away from all of this." We were both crying now. "Will you hold me?" He sat up on my bed and held me as I cried on his shoulder. I was emotionally drained and stood up and removed my shoes. "I need to lie down now." "Okay, I'll be back later." "NO! don't go. I don't want to be alone". He removed his shoes and lied on the bed with me. I woke up around 12:30am. Nick was still with me. I rolled over to face him. I went and got my sketchpad. I sketched his every line. His every whisker. He was a beautiful man. His hair falling over his face. He was starting to stir. He rolled over so I sat on the floor by his side of the bed. His hands were long and masculine. I started to sketch them. His long fingernails, his knuckles to the little creases on the palms of his hand. I moved to the foot of the bed and sketched his foot. His high arches to his long slender toes. He was a beautiful man. I placed the sketchpad on the nightstand and went into the living room to watch some television. About 30 minutes later Nick came out and sat with me on the couch. "How long have you been up?" "I don't know, I've been sitting out here for about 30 minutes." "Did you have a nightmare?" I moved closer to him and told him I didn't. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I turned the television off. "Do you think we could try having a relationship?" "Of course we could. I've always wanted that." "But I don't want to be one of your many girlfriends. I wantd to be the only one." "That's what I want too." He leaned in and kissed me. I tried not to pull away. I had tears falling from my face. He wiped them away. "I hope those are happy tears?" "They are." He kissed me again. I led him back down to my bedroom and helped him remove his shirt. "Kelly, are you sure you want to do this?" I told him I was. He removed my top and my bra. I slipped out of my shorts and panties and lied down on the bed. He lowered himself on top of me and began to kiss me and caress my body. He told me to stop him if it got too much for me. He kissed my neck and made his way down to my breasts. I told him I needed him now. He gently and very slowly entered me. He let a moan escape his mouth and my body arched in response to his thrusts. I grabbed his butt and held on to him. He kissed me and his tongue probed my mouth. His hair was in my face and I ran my fingers through raking my fingers through it. He rolled over and pulled me on top of him. I rocked back and forth and he caressed my breasts. He kept telling me to look at him. I found it hard to stare into his eyes. I leaned down and sucked on his nipples. He seemed to really like that. He flipped me back over on my back and we climaxed together. He leaned down and kissed me. He kissed me with so much passion. He rolled over and I got up and ran into the shower. I had to get clean. I locked the door. I scrubbed my skin until it was red and I just cried. I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have done it. Nick was knocking on the door now. I told him I'd be right out. I dried off and splashed cold water on my face and wrapped in a robe. My eyes were red. I opened the bathroom door and the steam from my shower escaped. Nick tried to hold me but I pulled away. "What's wrong he asked?"

Chapter 10

I sat down on the bed and Nick came to me. He notice my neck was red and opened my robe. "My god what have you done Kelly?" My skin was raw from the hot water and the scrubbing. "I have to go to my apartment. I"ll talk to you later." I heard him leave and I fell asleep crying. Nick didn't come back that day. I never got out of bed that day. Nick finally did call to tell me that maybe it wouldn't be wise for us to get involved. I obviously had some issues I needed to work out and he didn't know if he was strong enough to handle it. I didn't even acknowledge him I just hung up the phone. I called my therapist and set up an appointment for later that day. I made my way down to the garage and to my car. I drove to the office and just bawled like a baby. "What made you wash yourself like that?" "I had never been made love too. I've only been raped." "There was no mention of that in my report." "Jack beat me within an inch of my life and you think that I'd make this up?" "I don't think that. I'm just stating the fact that you're saying you've been raped and have never mentioned it." "Nick doesn't want to see me anymore." "I'm sorry." I ended the session and drove home. I exited the elevator and Nick was walking toward me. We passed in the hall without a word. I called the manager and told him I'd be moving out. I gave him my notice. I went down to the U-haul place and started boxing my possessions up. I came across the sketchpad and the drawings I'd made for Nick. I put them into an envelope and on my last day I slipped them under his door. I left Florida for good. I didn't deserve anyone's love. I boarded my flight and cried all the way to New York. Meanwhile Nick returned home to find the envelope. He opened it up and found the sketches. He went next door and knocked. He went back and hopped over to my balcony and was shocked to see the apartment empty. He entered through the unlocked door and made his way through the empty apartment. Everything was gone and he never knew I moved out. He went back to his apartment and returned the sketches to the envelope. They wouldn't fit. He looked inside and saw a letter.

"Dear Nick,

I'm so sorry to have hurt you the way that I did. I really do love you. I'm just sorry you don't feel the same for me. What I never told you before is that I had never been made love too. You were the first. Through out my 6 years of marriage it was never as compassionate and caring as you treated me. It was only rape. Over and over again. Day after day, rape. I don't blame you for not loving me. I know now that I could never be loved by anyone. I am just so glad that I had one night of knowing what it truly feels like to have someone care for me. I've gone back to New York. So you won't have to worry about running into me anymore. I love you Nick Carter and I'm so sorry I made you so miserable. I don't know why I ever thought I could make you happy.

Love,

Kelly"

I entered into my apartment and went upstairs to bed. I didn't even undress. I woke up in the morning and went down to the corner liquor store and bought myself a bottle of wine. I sat at my computer and began to write my book about Jack. How I met him and how I was treated. The beatings, the rapes, even the loss of my child. When I was five months pregnant he beat me so bad I lost the child. He promised never to hurt me again and I believed him. I wrote nonstop for four days. I finished with the fact that I fell in love again only to be hurt again. I live now with the fact that any love I would get would be the love that I make up in my head. I called Ginny and told her to come by and pick up the transcript. She said she'd be over later today. I went upstairs and took a shower. I got dressed for the first time in almost a week. My doorman said I had a visitor and I told him it was OK. A few minutes later there was a knock on my door. I opened the door only to see Nick standing on the other side. I just stood there staring at him. "Are you going to invite me in?" I stood back and let him enter. He seemed very nervous and my tears were already threatening to betray me. "What are you doing here?" "I've been thinking about you for a week. And I don't know why. What happened Kelly? Was it me?" "Did you read the letter? I don't blame you, I realized that I'm not worthy of your love. I don't even know why we tried." "I still love you Kelly. When you scrubbed yourself raw like that I thought it was because of me." "Why would I do that because of you?" "Because I had slept with the other woman earlier that day." "I'm so sorry Nick, I never meant to make you feel that way!" "It's OK. Why did you leave Florida?" "I had no reason to stay. You were why I was there all this past year." The doorman rang again. "Miss Ginny is here." "Go ahead, send her up." I looked at Nick and told him it was my publicist. "I should go." "You just got here, please stay. Don't leave me. Please?"

Chapter11

There was a knock on the door and Ginny came in. She could see Nick and I were in the middle of something. I handed her the transcript and introduced her to Nick. She said she'd call me later. I let her out and locked the door. I sat next to Nick on the couch. "Are you hungry?" We went into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to go to the store yet." He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. "What have you been eating all this time?" "I've been writing nonstop, I haven't eaten anything." He just closed his eyes and I watched his tears fall. "What have you been writing?" "Kind of an autobiography." "The story of Jack?" "He was mentioned." "Did you mention me?" "Not by name but yes he was mentioned." I called and ordered a pizza to be delivered. Nick and I just sat in silence until it came. "How did you know I was in the city?" "I didn't, I stopped here first before driving out to your place upstate." "So why are you here?" "I love you and want you in my life." "I will not move back to Florida. I can't do that again." "Why are you always running?" "I'm not!" "Do you still love me?" "None of this has anything to do with you. It's all about Jack. He has destroyed my life. He's still doing it from the grave." "But do you love me?" "YES! Nick, I love you." "Do you have another transcript? I mean, the one you just wrote?" "Only on my laptop." "Can I read it?" "Why?" "I want to know everything about you and I want to know it all at once. Not in bits and pieces anymore." I gave him my laptop. "I'm going upstairs to sleep for a while. Promise me you won't leave without telling me first. Please I need you to promise." I brought up the information and showed him where the rest of the chapters were. There were 42 chapter in all. "Do you remember where my room is?" He remembered. I gave him the phone number to the deli and also the market down the street in case he got hungry. "I have accounts with both places so just call and they'll bring you food and drinks and stuff. There are still four cokes left in the refrigerator." I laid my hands on his shoulders and he covered my hands with his. "Have a good nap." I headed upstairs to my bedroom. I watched him from the top step as he began to read about my life. I awoke about 4 hours later and exited my bedroom. He was still reading at the computer. "Why aren't you done yet." He turned to me with a tear-streaked face. "I haven't been able to get through it very quickly because it's so emotional. Jack was a monster." I nodded. "But he's dead now." "How many children did you lose?" "Two." He just cried for me. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." I walked into the kitchen and an hour later he turned off the laptop. "Can you ever forgive me for the way I ended our relationship?" "It wasn't you fault. What I really needed was to forgive Jack. Jack was the root of all my problems." Nick looked at me like I was crazy. "It's true, I blame Jack for everything. If I had just left the first time he struck me I would have saved myself all of this grief." Nick tried to hug me but I told him no. "I can't go there again Nick. I just can't. I am not well and you've already told me that you are not strong enough for this. So please let's not complicate things." "But you love me." "I love you too much to do this to you." "Where do we go from here?" "I don't know, I just don't know." I was startled by my phone it was Ginny. She was crying over the phone. "Kel, I never knew all this. I'm so sorry for your pain." "I'm all right. I have a man in my life now and with him I'll get through this." "We're gonna make a lot of money off of this book." "Money can't buy happiness." "You're right." Nick looked at me, "I'm confused. Do you want me or don't you want me?" "I want you in my life, but I'm afraid to commit to you in this state of mind that I'm in. I need to get passed my problems so that they don't become our problems. I know that you have needs so I can understand if you don't want to wait." "I'll wait for you." "I won't go back to Florida." "I can move to New York." I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "really? You would do that for me?" "Kelly, I'd move mountains for you." I sat down and buried my face in my hands. He came and sat down beside me. "I love you Kelly. I know what you know. I can handle it, I promise you I can handle it now." I looked into his teary eyes and told him I loved him. Nick stayed with me for the rest of the week and then flew back to Florida to close up his apartment. He moved a lot of his furniture into storage and shipped some of his things to my apartment. Two and a half weeks later he came back to New York. We've been living together for the last 6 months. Nick's been recording again and I'm now back to writing mysteries. My book has been number one on the New York Times best seller's list since it's release. Ginny was right we made a lot of money. I also gained something from that book, my freedom. Nick and I are doing great. We haven't had anymore episodes. I see my therapist twice a week just to make sure that I'm handling things the way I should be. Nick has been touring for the last 7 weeks and is coming home tonight. I can't wait to see him.

Chapter 12

I had cooked a romantic dinner and everything was ready for my darling Nick. I miss him so much. With my book tour we haven't had any time together in the last two months. Only phone calls. Nick walks in the front door and I just cry at the sight of him. He lifts me into his arms and kissed me. "I'm so glad your home." He doesn't want dinner, he only wants me. He strips my shirt off and carries me upstairs. He makes love to me so passionately that I am weak afterwards. I lay beside him and he asks if I'm all right. I told him I am so much better now that he's home. We have decided to get away from the city and to head to the house in the country for the weekend. I told him my life is so perfect now. I cut down on my therapy sessions to once a month now. Nick and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I fall asleep in his arms and dream of the happiness that he has brought into my life. We wake up and make love again, I can not get enough of this man. We pack a weekend bag and head up to our home. The hour drive is very scenic once we get away from the city. The streets are lined with massive oaks and the green lawns start to dart the landscape. Nick pulls into the driveway and we go inside. The weekend is magical as we get to know each other all over again. "I have one more date in three weeks that I'm committed to and then I wants to take some time off." "That's great. What do you want to do during that time?" He pulls out a ring and says, "I'm hoping that we could get married." I looked at him. "Are you proposing to me?" "Kelly, will you marry me?" "Yes! Yes! Oh god Nick, YES!" I was so happy, my life has turned around so much since I've met him. "Nick you have made me so happy. You don't even know." He kissed me and said, "You have made me happy." The next few weeks I was on cloud nine. I told my therapist I was getting married. She was happy for me and wished me only the best. Nick and I would marry in September. After his last concert. It would be a small ceremony at the house in the country. Our folks would be there and our families. I had just a sister and brother. Nick had 4 siblings. Our wedding day finally came and we were so very happy. My parents didn't think they'd ever see me this happy again. I had put them through hell in my first marriage. They loved Nick, they saw him clearly. A year and a half later we welcomed our first child, a son. Our lives have changed so much. We were happy and had started our family. We had loved and lost and loved again. I just don't know what I would have done if Nick didn't walk back into my life. I still have that bottle of unopened wine I bought. "What are you saving that cheap bottle of wine for?" "It's a reminder to me that Jack didn't win. My intention was to come back to New York and die. I bought the bottle of wine to get drunk so I would have the nerve to take my sleeping pills. Instead I sat down and wrote my autobiography. Once it was finished I called Ginny to give her the transcript. You came instead. You saved my life and you don't even know it." Nick sat there holding our son speechless. "If it wasn't for you, you wouldn't be holding your son in your arms right now. That's how far Jack had broken me down. Even from the grave he still had his hands around my neck, choking the life right out of me." Nick's tears were falling. "You gave me my life back." He put the baby in the bassinet and sat with me on the bed. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "I didn't want you to blame yourself. It wasn't your fault, it was Jack." We were released from the hospital two days later. "No one has ever made me feel like you have made me feel Kelly. You have given me such a large gift. First your love and now a son." Nick brought the envelope out to me one day as I was nursing the baby and he asked when I had sketched them? I reminded him of the night. "I etched every line on his hand into my brain. I loved you that much. I love you more now." I burped our son and but him down for his nap. We lay down on the bed and napped ourselves. "I love you Kelly." "I love you too." We have never been apart since. I stopped writing, well novels anyway. I now write children's books. Nick doesn't travel half as much now. We've been married for almost 10 years now and have three children. I'm unable to have anymore. The beatings that I received from Jack had finally taken their toll on my body. With my last son I had hemorrhaged and they had to remove my uterus to stop the bleeding. Nick had three sons and he was happy. The boys are all into sports now and we have moved back to Florida. I've sold the house and the apartment in New York. I realized that New York was where my life with Jack was. Florida is where my life with Nick began. We are busy with three boys and we are happy. I never knew love could be like this.