Chapter 1

It all started so many years ago. There was a new housing tract being built and the homes were being offered at very low prices. My parents bundled me up as I was only a few months old and went down to view the models. Apparently lots of couples had the same idea that Spring morning. As mom has told me over and over it was like visiting a popular museum. They had to hold couples back in order to give everyone a fair chance to see all that they wanted to see. My parents met a couple in line that day and they became life long friends. Their names were Bob and Jane Carter. They were also carrying their infant son Nickolas at the time. Nickolas was one month older than I was. Our moms swapped stories while our dad's volunteered to help with landscaping of each others homes. Our parents viewed the homes and enjoyed each others company so much that they decided to live next door to each other. Over the next several months our parents got together for various outings. The houses would be ready in the summer. Our families were becoming very close, but they had no idea how close they would actually become.

Chapter 2

We moved into our home first and the Carter's moved in a week later. It was always my parents intention on having a large family so we had 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. Dad had always wanted a pool while he was growing up so he talked mom into putting one in. Mom was terrified that one day I would drown in the pool so dad and Mr. Carter built a safety fence around the pool.  "Now there was no way Gina could drown in the pool," dad said. Over the next 6 months our dad's landscaped both properties and mom and Mrs. Carter would BBQ and take us shopping for things to decorate our houses. Nick and I were always together. As time moved on we kept adding to our families. It seemed like mom and Mrs. Carter were always pregnant together. Dad joked, "it must have something to do with the water." Nick and I were best friends. We went to preschool together. Nick was very shy and I would always protect him. Like he was my brother or something. We played in the pool all summer long and were always trying to out due the other. Nick liked all kinds of sports and since we were always together so did I. Basketball was our passion. Dad and Mr. Carter went in halves and purchased a basketball hoop and since we shared a driveway, they put it in the middle. The cars would always be parked on the street or in the garage because Nick and I were always outside playing basketball. I can remember the first time I felt awkward about spending so much time with Nick. I was in the fifth grade and some girls in my class were teasing me about always being with Nick. "Have you kissed him yet?" they would ask. I thought it pretty disgusting at the time. I didn't think of Nick that way.

Chapter 3

Nick was very shy, he didn't have many friends at all. The girls all thought he was kind of a geek because he was always trying out for commericals and talent shows. My mom and dad would let me go with Mrs. Carter and Nick on his auditions. Looking back on it now I guess I was very proud of Nick for following his dream. I prayed that he would some day make it big. Nick was kind of short and very skinny during school which I guess added to his geekness. But to me he was my best friend. I'd never do anything to hurt him. Never! In Junior High School I started seeing less and less of Nick. His career started to flourish. He was on televison all the time. I heard his voice on the radio and he was testing for his own television show. I would only see him once or twice a week and it usually wasn't for very long. We started leaving letters for each other in each others mail boxes. I'd check everyday for one and he'd do the same. Then one day he was gone from school for good. I'll never forget that day. It's the day that I realized that I loved Nick Carter. It was the last day of 8th grade and I was walking home and I saw Nick in the driveway shooting hoops. I smiled and ran the rest of the way to our house. I hadn't seen Nick in 2 weeks. I threw my books down and hugged him. He was really happy to see me too. He asked, "are you up for a game?" "Of course I am," I said. We played until dark. My mom kept calling me in for dinner but I didn't want to go. It had been so long since I saw him that I didn't want it to end for fear he'd be gone in morning. Nick finally said. "I'm hungry too. Go and eat and to come over when you're finished." I made him promise he wouldn't hop on a jet while I was eating and fly off somewhere. He laughed and gave me that smile that I missed so much. He said, "I'll be here, I promise." With that I retreived my books and went inside to eat.

Chapter 4

My mom was happy and my siblings teased me for spending so much time with Nick. I ate and went upstairs and changed my clothes and then went next door to Nick's house. His family was in a great mood. Not that they were always in a bad mood but something was happening and I didn't know what it was. Nick grabbed me by the arm and we headed to his bedroom to play video games. We assumed our positions on the floor and stayed there for 2 hours without hardly speaking. Then Nick said he had some great news. He paused the game and looked me in the eyes. He said, "I'm going to be really busy now. I tried out for the New Mickey Mouse Club and I got the part." I was so happy for him. He said, "but I also auditioned for a singing group and was accepted too." Even better I thought. He said, "I'm going to take the singing gig." "Wow! That's fantastic." I gave him a hug. "I will be dropping out of school now and would now have a tutor." "What?" "there are five of us in this group. We lost two members but we found two more and we are good, we are really good. We are going to be performing on Saturday at Sea World. Will you come with me?" "of course, oh my Nick do you know what this means?" "What does this mean?" "You are going to be famous, you are really going to be famous." He laughed and said, "someday, maybe someday." We went back to playing the game and then I had to go home. Even though school was out for the summer, my parents were pretty strict and wanted my home by 10 p.m. I was only 13 after all and they thought letting me stay out until 10 was being generous. Even though I was only next door.

Chapter 5

The next day Nick was rehearsing and waiting for the new member to arrive from Kentucky. Nick hadn't met Brian Littrell yet but he did meet his cousin Kevin. He liked Kevin a lot and knew he'd like his cousin too. I went with Nick to rehearsal and Alex, or AJ as he likes to be called, asked me if Nick and I were dating. "No," I said a little to quickly. "We've been best friends forever though." "So what do you think of all of this?" "It's what he's worked so hard for, so I'll support him 100%." Nick smiled and I listened to them perform a few songs. Now I've always loved Nick's voice. Especially his laugh. He has the type of laugh that tickles my heart when I hear it. Mrs. Carter always calls me Regina, but I prefer to be called Gina. So when she called me Regina AJ took that as an open invitation to call me Reggie. So to AJ I became Reggie. "I've never thought of calling you anything but Gina." When we were toddlers he could never say Regina, he would only say Gina and that's how come I'm known today as Gina. Even my parents call me Gina. Not Mrs. Carter, she even calls Nick, Nickolas. She said, "if I wanted to call him Nick I would have named him Nick." He likes to make her mad by refusing to answer her unless she calls him Nick. But she always wins out. They are extremely close. She's done so much for Nick. Without her this dream wouldn't be realized. Nick and the guys finished up their rehearsal and we all went to dinner and then we went home. I went next door and told my parents I was back. I went up to my room and wasn't there very long when there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and let Nick in. "Hi, what's up?" I said moving out of the way to let him in? "I have something on my mind and I've been trying all day to get up the nerve to ask you about it." "Nick you should know by now that you can ask me anything. I'll always be honest and truthful with you." "That's what I'm afraid of." I smiled and sat down next to him on my bed. I said, "are you scared?" "A little." "You are really good, you've worked for this for so long. I'm so jealous and proud of you." "Really?" "Of course. Now what do you want to ask me?" "Can I turn off the lights in here first?" "Nick we'd be in total darkness then." It would give me the courage to say what I want to say. "Sure, but it really isn't necessary." I got up and turned the lights off and sat down next to him on my bed. "Gina, you're my best friend. You know that right?" "Yes I know that Nick." "Somewhere along the way your friendship has meant more to me. Kind of like beyond friendship." I took a deep breath and said, "I know what you mean." "So I was wondering... well if you wouldn't mind... could I kiss you?" I was surprised but secretly I've felt the same way about him. I took my time in answering and then I said, "okay." He leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips. It was quick and I barely felt his lips on mine. I was about to say something when I felt his lips on mine again. This time he lingered longer and it had more passion. He then got off the bed and went home without saying another word to me.

Chapter 6

I sat there on the bed for a few minutes. Still in the darkness. I laid back on my bed and fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I was just as confused. I went outside and started shooting hoops. I didn't even want breakfast. I pulled my hair back and one after another just kept shooting baskets until Nick came outside. I knew he'd hear me because his bedroom window was above the hoop. Both of our windows were. When we both had the chickenpox and couldn't see each other for a while. We'd open our windows and sling shot notes back and forth. We were inseperable as kids. And now Nick's career would surely take him away from me for good. "Hey." "Hey." "How'd you sleep?" "Good." As he retreived my missed shot." He said, "uh oh, your games off Gina." I smiled and then watched as Nick took a shot and made it. He was still quite short and I was wondering if he would ever grow any taller. We were about the same height. "Are you mad about last night?" I couldn't look him in the eye. I was afraid too for I knew if I did he'd see my real feelings for him. I said, "no, of course not. Do you regret it?" "No." Then I made eye contact with him. "Do you want to go play a video game before we leave?" I was nervous about being alone with him again. But how much more time would we have to be together anyway? So I managed a weak smile. "Do you feel lucky today?" He shot the basketball and it went in. "Does that answer your question?" He tossed the ball into the side yard and we went into his room to play video games. We were playing for so long we lost track of time. Mrs. Carter barged into Nick's room without even knocking. "Getet ready Nickolas, it's time to go." I jumped up off the floor and Mrs. Carter asked me if I was all right? "I, I, I just realized the time. I'll meet you at the van." Nick looked at me as I rushed out of his room.

Chapter 7

I think it was inevitable that Nick and I would someday have feelings. My mom I think always new. "Hey Regina, you guys leaving now?" "Yep, just wanted to change really quick." "Okay, but come see me before you leave." I headed up stairs changed my clothes and let my hair down. I brushed it out until is glowed. I applied some chap stick and bounced downstairs. My mom was just finishing emptying the dishwasher. "Regina, come sit." So I sat. "How are things?" "Good, is something wrong?" "No, I was just thinking about Nick." "What about him?" "It's apparent that there are going to be a lot of changes with him now." "I know. He'll be away a lot more." "How will that make you feel?" "I don't know, why?" "You guys seem closer?" "What? What do you mean closer?" "I don't know. I was hoping you'd tell me." "We're fine mom. It's cool. I better go, I don't want to miss my ride." "Regina, you know I'm here for you right?" "Of course mom, I really better go." "Alright, have fun. Love you!" "Love you too mom," I said as I ran out the kitchen door. I met the Carter's in their driveway. Jane hadn't come out yet but everyone else was shooting hoops. Nick came over to me. "You all right?" "Yah, I'm excited aren't you?" "Nervous, but I want this really bad." We moved to the very back seat of the van so that we could talk without being heard. Nick held my hand, he's never done that before. Except maybe in a game or to help me up. He even awkwardly put his arm around me for a time. We had a long drive to Sea World. Mrs. Carter asked if we wanted anything, she was filling up at the gas station and Nick asked for Coke. When Mrs. Carter went inside Nick kissed me again. "No matter what happens, we'll always be best friends." I smiled and said, "I feel better now."

Chapter 8

Mrs. Carter got back in the van and Nick reached for the soft drinks. We finally made it to Sea World and we headed to some office. AJ kept calling Reggie but I wasn't used to it yet. He came up and gave me a hug and I met Brian for the first time. He has the most adorable Southern accent. Kevin too, but Kevin's Southern voice is much more sexy. Howie is sweet and AJ is wild, there is no other way to describe AJ. He can never sit still. His mind is always racing and he's always saying things without thinking about it first. We were sitting around waiting for things to get started when I noticed AJ staring from me to Nick. I said, "what's up AJ?" "I was just thinking, it's too bad you two aren't dating, you'd make a cute couple." "I know that the timing isn't right and that it may never last, but what would be worse, trying to make it work or not trying at all?" "You do what you have to do." Then Mrs. Carter and Denise came in and said, "let's go guys. It's time." Brian asked, "how much time do we have?" Denise said, "10 minutes." "Let's all hold hands then,"Brian said. Nick grabbed my hand and Mrs. Carter grabbed my other. We formed a circle and Brian said a prayer.

"Lord we've come together today to try to fulfill our dreams, with your guidance we can do that . No matter what happens today, we realize that this is a gift from you, and we thank you for that. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen." With that we left for their first live performance anywhere as The Backstreet Boys.

Chapter 9

To say the guys weren't nervous would be an understatement. But by the second song it's like they had known each other their entire lives. I began to cry, it was obvious from the reaction of the audience that they were going to make it. Mrs. Carter put her arm around me and told me it would be alright. She was crying too. Her son was living his dream. Amazingly enough the guys were surprised to be asked for their autographs already. It was their first gig and they were excited. A few hours later Nick and I sat in the back of the van and he held my hand. It was just so natural now. Having his arm around me. We both knew that things were going to be stressful between us because of his career. Between tutoring and practicing I'd never get to see him. When we got back we filled my parents in on what had happened. My siblings had become like Nick's siblings and vice versa, so later that night when we all came together in our back yard for BBQ, we weren't surprised to find that we wouldn't have a moment alone together. I tried not to look at him, I tried not to think about him in this new way that I felt about him. I tried to think of him as my best friend. No matter what I did I couldn't fight these feelings of love. I headed out to the driveway to shoot some hoops. I was out there almost 30 minutes when Nick found me. "What's wrong?" "There are just too many people back there," I said. He smiled and held out his hands for the ball. I lobbed it to him. He went for a lay up and missed. Then he cussed, "Damn!" He grabbed my hand and led me into his house. We went into his bedroom and he closed and locked the door. Then without warning he kissed me again. Then he hugged me. He said, "I'm torn. My heart is breaking and I don't know what to do."

Chapter 10

Through my tears I asked him to turn on his Nintendo. We sat on the floor but not in our usual spots. We now sat even closer together than we ever did before. I had to be able to touch him, to smell him. I tried to play, honestly I did but it was no use. I excused myself and left. I ran upstairs to my bedroom and fell on my bed. My sister found me there. She was only a year younger but she was very mature. She always used to tell me that Nick was in love with me but I'd never believed her. "What's wrong Gina?" I begged her to go away. "It's Nick isn't it?" "What am I going to do? I'll never see him." "Take what you can get and be satisfied. If you can't do that then you should let him go." The words stung. "Let him go?" I just realized I loved him I thought. How dare she tell me to let him go. I locked myself in my bathroom and took a shower. Once I finished there I went to bed. My sister had gone. The next day we all went to church. Nick and I sat together and when we went out to lunch we sat together too. We got home and changed our clothes and took off on our bikes. For as long as we could we would be together. Nick was learning a few songs so we'd head out to a place we pretended that no one knew of and he would sing. It was by a canal and we would sit under the bridge and his voice would bounce off the water. He loved to sing. He loved that more than me and that's when I realized that I had to make this easy for him. I promised myself to never complain about Nick's work. Never complain about what time we didn't have together, but to make the most of what time we did have together. So I pulled him into the canal with me. We had the best day. We were gone a few hours and a storm was moving in. We knew our families would be worried so we headed back home. It was raining by the time we got home and we were scolded for getting caught in the storm. We didn't tell them that we'd actually gone swimming in the canal. It would be the first of many secrets.

Chapter 11

Nick and I actually had two and a half weeks out of the summer together before he started traveling. He would always call me. I'd get letters and post cards. He was traveling all over the US without much luck. I went back to school that fall and it just wasn't the same. Without Nick I was bored and lonely. Nick and the group were heading over seas. He came home for two weeks around Christmas. We spent every minute together. He shared his pictures that he'd taken and I was noticing a change about him. He was growing taller. He was more confident and he didn't feel like a geek. He was never a geek to me. Those were the two shortest weeks of my life. Just after New Years he left for Europe. He'd be there for three months. Mrs. Carter was going with him. Mr. Carter would stay behind to take care of the other children. When Nick left this time, he told me he loved me. It was the first time he'd ever said the words out loud to me. When he turned 14 he was in Germany. I sent his Birthday card a week early to ensure that it got there on time. I called him and he had received it. We talked for about 30 minutes. That's all my parents would allow. "It's too expensive," they said. Nick and I continued to write letters. He called me on my birthday and then his letters seemed to taper off. At the end of my freshman year of high school I had all but stopped hearing from Nick. I'd get reports from his siblings and his father. But nothing really from Nick. I'd get an occasional postcard. Apologizing for not writing more and that he misses me. My heart was breaking but I had to remember my promise. I wouldn't complain. My mom and dad thought it would be nice if I went to visit my grandparents in California. Nick wasn't due home any time soon so I agreed. I needed a change of pace. So two weeks after I got out of school I boarded an airplane for California. Little did I know that Nick was heading home to surprise me. By the time I got to California Nick had already been to my house only to find out he had just missed me and I'd be back in a month.

Chapter 12

When I got to my grandparents house I called home to let my family know I'd arrived safely. My sister told me Nick was home. I thought my heart stopped. I couldn't catch my breath as I asked her to repeat herself. She said, "Nick came back just after your airplane left. You probably passed each other in the airport and didn't even realize it." I hung up the phone and headed to the spare bedroom. I couldn't believe it. My grandparents didn't know what to do. My mom called me, "Nick will always just be a phone call away. I was afraid something like this would happen, so I packed you a phone card in your suitcase. I know it's not the same as being home but you can call Nick whenever you want without running up grandma and grandpa's phone bill." "I love you mom." I hung up the phone and searched for the phone card. Once I found it I read the directions and called Nick. He picked up the phone in his bedroom and I heard him say he got it. "Nick," "Hi Gina, what's up?" "Your voice is changing. "Yeah, it's been doing that for a while now." I felt the first tear slide down my cheek. "Things are really happening for us now. The group is big in Europe and next we're heading up to Canada." "When are you leaving?"" "July 12th." Again I felt a blow to my heart. I was to return on July 14th. I would miss him again. But I said nothing. "How long will you be gone?" "Almost a month." Which meant to me that I'd be back in school, without him again. We talked for a little while and then he asked for my grandparents phone number. I gave it to him and we hung up. I went into the bathroom to wipe my tears away when I heard a knock on the door. "Yes," I asked? Grandpa said, "you have a phone call." "I'll be right out." I dried my face and headed to the den. Grandpa handed me the cordless and I said hello. It was Nick again. I smiled, "Why did you call back?" "I haven't seen you in so long and I don't know when I will again so I figured I better call you back. I miss you." "I miss you too Nick. Tell me everything that's been happening." We talked for 2 hours. I missed him so much but it made it easier. The month dragged by. I didn't want to stray too far from the house in fear of missing one of Nick's phone calls. Although he didn't know it I waited endlessly by the phone. I would never answer the phone, I'd always make my grandparents do that. Then I'd take my time getting to the phone. I didn't want him to think I was waisting away in California, even though I was.

Chapter 13

Nick left for Canada and I returned home two days later. This time Nick's dad went along and Mrs. Carter stayed home. I felt awkward around her and she sensed that. She invited me out to lunch about a week after I got home so that we could talk. I was really nervous but I went with her. Once we got settled in the restaurant she asked me, "Can I talk openly and honestly with you?" I said "sure." "I really admired how you are handling everything with Nick. The two of you have changed so much over the last year and somehow you've managed to stay close without even being together. I want to tell you that I understand the love you share." I just looked at her. "You are a beautiful woman." I was almost 15 and she called me a woman. No one had ever called me a woman before. A girl yes, but never a woman. She said Nick was approaching the 6 foot mark and my tears were falling. "He's always wanted to be tall," I told her. She smiled and she said, "he's changed a lot." Then she gave me some pictures of Nick. He was so beautiful. He didn't look anything like I remembered him. "He has changed a lot. His hair is long, wow look at his hair." She smiled and said, "the girls go crazy over him." My smile faded and I said, "is there someone else?" She said, "no, but..." ... I put my hand up and excused myself from the table. I didn't want to hear what the 'but' meant. I returned a few minutes later. I washed away my tears the best I could. She told me, "You have to be strong for Nick. While in Europe there were a lot of rumors. I don't want you to believe any of them. If something concerned Nick, or alarmed me she wanted me to go directly to her." I promised I would. We ate lunch and she took me home. I didn't talk to her much after that. I got on with my life. Nick did return home about 4 weeks later but I was back in school on the girls basketball team and Nick was busy with recording and making videos and practice and school. We did manage a few "dates" if you will. We mostly hung out in the back yard or shooting hoops. The Backstreet Boys were about to take on the US full force. Nick was home until just before Christmas and then he was on the road again. We kept in contact as best we could. But it was obvious that there really wasn't an us anymore. There were a few rumors about a girl with Nick. I never asked him or Mrs. Carter, I didn't want to know.

Chapter 14

There have been a lot of changes in my life too. My body was changing and boys were noticing me. I've been turning down dates left and right. We had some major school dances coming up and I asked Nick to go with me but his schedule was never free. He told me to go with someone and have fun. He'd see me when he got home from wherever he was calling me from. So I did, I started going out with friends and on dates. Deep down I loved Nick, but he had a career. I was starting to see pictures of Nick with this other girl in magazines and in videos. It just killed me that he never said anything. He still called to bounce things of me once in a while. I never once turned away his phone calls. By my Senior year in high school Nick and The Backstreet Boys were huge world wide. Nick's parents were moving out of the house next door because they never had any peace. Fans were always dropping by and ringing the door bell. Flowers were stolen, grass was taken. Even the net from the net from the basketball hoop was stolen. It was a very sad day for everyone when the Carters moved. Mom was losing her best friend, dad was losing his best friend, and I was losing the last hold I had on Nick. I graduated without Nick in the audience. Although his siblings and parents were present. I was going away to college, I'd had enough of Florida and needed to start fresh somewhere. I decided to go somewhere calm, somewhere with a change a seasons. I chose Colorado. Nick called and wished me luck in all I did and promised to try to get together with me soon. I told him I'd like that very much. We were both 18 and he was a stranger to me now. Nick's parents are moving again to California to advance the careers of their other children. Nick is living in his own home now. Rumor has it that he lives with someone. I settled in nicely to Colorado. I have a nice apartment and I have met some really nice friends. It's one of those college dorm like apartment buildings. Where everyone goes to Colorado State. I met some really nice people. Cindy, Kim, Jessica, and Annie. They each had their own apartment and were freshman also. The funny thing was they were all infatuated with the Backstreet Boys. I never told them I used to live next to Nick Carter and that he was my best friend. Never would I use him or market him for anyone elses personal gain. School started and I was settling in pretty well. I flew home for the Holidays, no one really ever mentioned Nick anymore to me. When I returned after the New Year I hadn't even gotten out of my car when Cindy and Kim jumped me. "You'll never guess who's in concert next week?" "Who I said?" "The Backstreet Boys they squealed, and we've got tickets." "That's nice, have a good time." "We all have tickets you're coming with us. Front row seats even. Aren't you happy?" I managed a weak smile and said, "I was really happy." They helped me to my apartment with my things and were wondering why I wasn't more excited. I lied and said, "I was getting over the flu and was still very tired." So they left me alone to rest.

Chapter 15

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to their concert. I wasn't scared but I wondered if I'd see him. I was actually happy that they did this for me. It's been a very long time since I've seen Nick. He's changed a lot I'm sure. Even if it was from a distance it would be better than not seeing him at all. The next day the gang again showed up on my doorstep. I let them in and was more like my old self again. I was until Jessica told me that Nick had broken up with his girlfriend of the last year. I thought I'd die. "He what?" I said. She said, "apparently this girl was rude and hurt his feelings as well as hit him." My heart was aching for Nick. "Nick would never let anyone treat him like that." "How can you be so sure?" "Well, he just doesn't seem the type." "Well his girlfriend was a major bitch. People were always complaining about her over the internet," Cindy said. "Well if he was dating one of us they'd be saying the same thing." Cindy said, "oh no they wouldn't because I'd never hurt Nick." She was right, I wouldn't either. My heart ached to hear his voice. My phone rang it was a telemarketer but I faked like it was really important and the girls all left. I got rid of the telemarketer and called Mrs. Carter in California. She answered and when I told her who I was she said of course she remembered me. She was still after me to call her Jane. "Is Nick around or do you know where he is?" "For once he's home. I'll get him." I had butterflies in my stomach. I was so nervous. He came to the phone. "What's up G?" "Hiya, Nick how are you?" "I've seen better days." I congratulated him on his success. "Thank you, how's Colorado?" "Cold." "I'll be in town next week and would really like to see you." "I'd love to see you too. Are you all right? There are a lot of rumors going around and I'm concerned." He promised me he was all right. He said, "for a while it was rocky but I'm all right now." I gave him my address and phone number and he wanted me to come to the show. I lied and told him I had to work but I'd see him when and if he had time. He got really serious and said, "I'll always have time for you." I felt my tears drip from my eyes and then I had to go. He made me promise to save some time for him next week. I promised.

Chaper 16

How I made it through the next week I still don't know. I didn't tell the girls that I knew Nick nor did I tell them he was calling me almost daily now. They were fixing to leave right after the show and drive to Utah to catch them in concert again. I wasn't going this time. They were disappointed but understood. The night of the concert I tried my best to look good and casual. The girls were dressed to kill. We drove in Cindy's 4Runner and got to the arena early. We were hoping to catch the fellas in their sound check but the security people wouldn't let us in. So we had to wait. We bought Tshirts and programs. Then we headed down to our seats in the front row. The girls were excited and they knew everything that was going to happen because they read it over the internet. The opening acts came out and warmed up the crowd. Then the guys flew in over head. Once they landed on the stage they marched around to each side. They all stood 15 feet before me. I cried as I saw Nick. The girls started teasing me for being so sentimental. During one of the numbers I don't remember which one AJ spotted me. He was supposed to follow the guys around but he didn't. He said, "Reggie?" My eyes got big. He waved to me but I pretended not to realize he was waving to me. He then caught up with the fellas on the other side and I saw him talking to Nick. When Nick made his way to my side AJ got with him and he pointed me out to Nick. Nick smiled and waved to me. I waved back and the girls all waved too. They hadn't realized that Nick and I knew each other. Nick and the rest of the guys started to favor our side now. They girls were getting a big kick out of it. They each thought they were fighting over them. During their solos Nick came down to the barrier and made one of the security guards give me something. The security guard walked up to me and asked if I was Gina? I said, "yes I am Gina." Then he stuck out his hand and told me to put on this pass and to follow him. They girls now stared at me wide eyed as I followed the security guard under the stage to where they changed their clothes. Nick was waiting for me. He was the last to go on so he had about 5 minutes. He hugged me, "What a great surprise." I kissed him on the cheek and cried. "You're so good Nick. You've really done it." "Don't get mushy on me." They started to rush Nick. "The next song is for you G." "Okay?" I smiled and went back out to the girls. They were flabergasted. "What just happened?" they said. "I don't know. They got me confused with someone else." Then the arena went dark and Kevin was spot lighted sitting behind a white piano. Then the guys were spot lighted. They started to sing Back to your heart. I started to shake and I started to cry. Nick got up from the stage and walked over to our side of the stage and started to sing his part directly to me.

"If I wasn't such as fool,

right now I'd be holding you,

there's nothing that I wouldn't do

baby if I only knew,

The words to say, the road to take,

to find a way back to your heart."

I sat down and cried like a baby. "Does this mean he still loves me? After all these years of being apart? Does he still love me?" I ran up the stairs towards the restrooms. The girls didn't follow. They weren't about to miss any part of the concert. After about 30 minutes I was able to calm down and I headed back to my seat. The lights were up and they were bright. It was almost the end of the concert. Each of the fellas took the time to wave and blow a kiss in my direction. The girls were starting to realize something was up. At the end of the last encore Nick motioned to me that he'd call me. That's when Cindy lost it. "What the hell is going on?" she said.

Chapter 17

I looked at her and said, "I have no idea." She didn't believe me. The guys were all off the stage now and she lifted the backstage pass off my chest and said, "what's this?" "I don't know anymore than you. The guy came and got me." She wanted to talk more but I started walking up the stairs and out of the arena. I knew I would have a lot of explaining to do and so I had to think. What could I say? Oh I've known Nick practically since the day I was born? That would go over well since the last few months I've never even mentioned the BSB's in their presence without them bringing the subject up first. We headed for the bathrooms and then out to the car. I had taken off the Backstage pass and shoved it in my pocket. We headed out to Cindy's 4Runner and I sat in back. Cindy got in and locked the doors and turned on me. "Okay Gina, spill it." "Spill what?" "Something just isn't right, why would you get called under the stage for god's sake?" "They picked the wrong person. Didn't you see that guy get someone else?" She said no. "I have no idea why or where they were taking me." She hesitated but then she thought that was a logical explanation. They had the wrong girl. She started the car and we headed home. They talked non stop about the concert and Nick all the way home. I pretended to fall asleep. I didn't want to answer anymore questions. When we got back to the apartment building the girls said they'd call me when they got to Utah. I waved them off and went inside my apartment. I already had a message. I pushed play and listened to Nick talk.

"What a great surprise seeing you tonight G, I have missed you so much I can't even explain it. I was wondering if it wouldn't be an inconvience, would you mind if I stayed with you tonight and tomorrow? I want to spend as much time as possible with you. Please call me back. I'm at the Sheraton room 1693. I'll wait up for your call. I love you Gina, good bye."

He sent chills up and down my spine. I replayed the "I love you" part when the phone rang and I about jumped out of my skin. I picked up the phone and it was Nick. "Hey, I was just about to call you," I said.

Chapter 18

"Did you get my message?" "Yes, and sure you can stay with me. Do you still have my address?" "Actually if I look outside your window." I felt a knot form in my stomach. I walked to the window and saw Nick sitting in the pool area at one of the tables. "Come in here right now." I hung up and opened the door. He walked over to me and gave me the biggest hug. He smelled so nice. It felt so good just to be in his arms again. I invited him in and closed and locked the door. He put his bag down and said he liked my place. "Thanks," I said. I offered to take his coat. He had a seat on the sofa and I hung up his jacket and sat on the chair across from him. "Do you mind if I stay with you?" "We're still best friends aren't we?" "We'll always be best friends." I felt my lower lip start to tremble and I stood up and asked Nick if he was hungry or thirsty? He said he was fine. I walked into my kitchen trying to blink back the tears. I grabbed a bottled water and headed back to my chair. "Sit by me." I sat down and he put his arm around me, "What do you like to do in Colorado?" "Everything, I'm learning to ski." "Remember when I was learning to rollerblade?" "That was a long time ago." "It seems like only yesterday." I couldn't meet his eyes. He has such a beautiful smile and his laugh still tickled my heart. I stretched and said, "I know you want to talk but do you mind if it waits until tomorrow. I'm really tired and I know you must be too." "Not at all." I got up and retrieved a pillow and some blankets and helped Nick open the couch. I hoped he didn't mind sleeping on the sofa. I told him I didn't have a spare bedroom. "The sofa would be fine." "You're so tall I hope your feet don't hang over." "You remember that?" "There isn't much I don't remember about you." His smile faded too. He began to say something but I stopped him because I didn't want it to be a long night of talking about why, and who. I just wanted to enjoy him without complaining. I wanted to keep my promise and do whatever it took to make him happy. "I'm really tired and I don't want to be rude." I kissed his cheek allowing my lips to linger longer than I intended. Nick's hands went to my waist and he pulled me to him. I released myself from his embrace and said good night.

I went to my bedroom and got ready for bed. I only had one bathroom and it was in my bedroom. Nick startled me when he knocked on my door. I pulled the blankets up under my chin and told him to come in. He apologized but said he had to used the bathroom. I pointed in the direction of the bathroom and switched the light off and rolled over onto my side.

Chapter 19

Nick used the bathroom and walked in out into the darkness saying goodnight to me as he left my room.

He left my bedroom door open and I heard him fidgeting on the couch trying to get comfortable. I couldn't sleep either. I tossed and turned in my bed. Remembering all the good times we shared and the love I had for him. I love him so much that the love I had cut to my very soul. My inner most being. But how did he feel about me? A few minutes later I heard the television turn on. I heard Nick dialing his cell phone and I strained to listen to what he was saying. I only knew he was talking to Brian. I tried to fall asleep I drifted off for a little while until I felt something. I opened my eyes and I heard Nick speak my name. "Gina?, Gina are you awake?" I was about to say something but he spoke. He said, "this reminds me of that night in your bedroom back home. I wanted to kiss you but I was to embarrassed that I'd somehow mess up a kiss. So you let me turn off the lights. Remember that?" I lay on the bed careful to concentrate on my breathing and on each of his words. He said, "I don't know what happened to us, yes I do. I got too busy and didn't remember what or rather who was important to me. You were my first love. You are my first love. I'm sorry for not keeping in contact with you, things just got... well I got... well it doesn't matter now. You are back in my life now and that is where I intend to keep you. Because I still love you. I just hope that you still love me too." He again spoke my name, Gina? Sweet dreams Gina." With that he got up and made his way back to the sofa. He tossed and turned for a while and then he was silent. Then and only then did I allow myself to cry. "What was I going to do? What in the hell was I going to do? He wants me back? How can this ever work? He's much more busier than he's ever been in the past." I finally fell asleep. I woke at 7 a.m. I was still tired but the thought of Nick in the living room made me get up.

Chapter 20

I went into my closet and found something to wear. I tried to be quiet as Nick was in my living room. I had only a small place so every sound I made I felt like it echoed inside the apartment. I left Nick a note explaining I went to the store. I'd be right back. I headed down to the local supermarket and bought some groceries. I was in the cereal aisle I laughed out loud surprising even myself. Nick's favorite cereal. Count Chocula was on sale 2 for 1. I picked up the two boxes as if memory serves me correctly Nick could finish off a box in one sitting. I bought 2 gallons of milk as Nick was a milk drinker too. I paid for my groceries and bought a newspaper and headed home. I carried the groceries inside. Nick was still sleeping. I put everything away as quietly as possible. I picked up Nick's clothes he had strewn all over the place. Then I found myself standing directly over him. His face was so relaxed. He was much more handsome than I ever realized. His feet were placed firmly on the sofa bed as not to hang over. He opened his eyes and asked if I was alright? "I was just about to nudge you so you could go sleep on my bed. "I'm fine. He sat up but I could tell he was tired. "Please Nick go get some more sleep." "Do you mind?" "You're here and that's all that matters." He managed a weak smile and then I followed him into my bedroom. He threw the pillow on the bed and headed to my bathroom. He came out a few minutes later "Are you sure you don't mind if I go back to sleep?" I lifted the blankets and he slid in. He pulled the blankets up close to his body. "I love your bed, it's so warm," and then he was asleep again. I stood there for a few minutes and watched as his breathing took on a steady rythum. I turned around and headed back to the living room when Nick rolled over, "Come lay with me for a while. I miss being close to you." I hesitated at first but then I said, "I'm still a litttle tired myself." He scooted over and let me in. I kicked off my shoes and lay next to him. He cuddled up close to me and we both fell asleep. We both woke up about four hours later. We were both so stressed the night before that we didn't get any sleep. Now we lay on the same bed our faces only a few inches apart. I opened my eyes to see Nick's watery blue eyes. "What was wrong?" "I miss you so much." I felt my eyes begin to water. "Do you mind if I... or could I... oh hell," he said and then he kissed me. All those bottled up feelings came rushing back to me. He was a much better kisser now. His lips were full and soft. His tears mixed with mine and I let his tongue enter my mouth. I wanted him, but not yet. Not like this. I removed my tongue from his mouth and scrambled out of bed. Nick looked at me as if I had just slapped him across the face. I had brought pain to him. I never wanted to hurt him, I just couldn't start something that neither one of us could finish.

Chapter 21

"I'm hungry, aren't you?" I asked. As I headed out of the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen. I haven't kissed him in years. Just the thought of his hands on my body was enough to make me ache. I opened the refrigerator and then I heard Nick get into the shower. I sat down on the floor and cried. "What was I supposed to do?" I was still sitting on the floor when Nick came out from his shower. "Are you all right?" Then he helped me stand. I just held onto him. He hugged me back and he apologized for earlier. He smelled so good. He was warm from his hot shower and he was now clean shaven again. He again asked me if I was all right? I looked at him and asked, "Can I be open with you?" His lips formed a small smile and he asked me, "when was the last time I wasn't?" I had to smile too. Nick and I always tried to tell each other how it was. We never lied to each other in almost 20 years of friendship. I broke from his embrace and sat at the kitchen table. He sat down next to me and asked me to tell him. I looked him in the eyes and told him, I still loved you. I have never stopped loving you." He started to smile but I continued. I continued, "then you stopped loving me and moved on to someone else without even telling me." He broke off from my gaze. I was letting my tears fall openly now and I could see that it was breaking his heart as much as it had broken mine. I continued again, "I just don't want to have to go through all of that again. I don't want to have to lose your love. I couldn't stand it Nick." I started to get up to walk away but Nick grabbed my arm and asked me to wait. He took his time and then he began to tell me his true feelings. Finally, I'd know what was going on. Nick said, "I'm sorry for all of this, but you need to know that I've never stopped loving you either. Yes there was this one girl, it wasn't love though. She was someone who I tried to love. I was so lonely and you couldn't be with me. You are all I've ever wanted but sometimes G, sometimes you seem to distance your feelings and I get confused." I looked up at him for the first time since he started talking. His silent stream of tears were racing down his cheeks. "What do you mean by "I distanced myself from him?" "There were times when you have been unsure of things and you've always pushed me away." ""No, oh Nick I'd never push you away," I said. My tears were falling again. "I just wanted you to be happy. You were starting this career of yours and I didn't want to hold you back. Nick I loved you, why would I push you away from me?" "That's what I didn't understand." "Nick you have got to start communicating with me. We've lost all this time." I was able to get up and move away from him. My heart hurt so badly. I was crying way to hard that I wasn't only scaring Nick but I was scaring myself too. Our emotions were raw and exposed and that was probably harder to take than anything else.

Chapter 22

Nick walked over to me and put his hands on my waist. "What do we do now?" His voice was so low and so soft I almost didn't realize he had spoken. I was watching a family out of the window in my living room. They were building a snowman together. "We never got to do stuff like that. Doesn't that look like fun?" I wiped away my tears and Nick spun me around so that I was facing him. "Gina, what are we going to do?" I shrugged my shoulders and buried my face into his chest. He started kissing the top of my head and then he made his way down to my face. He found my lips and the passion returned. He stopped and said, "Regina I love you. I love you more than I can ever express in words. And you know how good I am with words." He made me smile. First because he never calls me Regina unless he's mad at me or very serious. And secondly because he still had impecable timing when it came to slipping in jokes. "I just want to be with you. What would be worse? Trying, or not trying at all?" Then he kissed me hard at first. The passion between us had been building for so long that we couldn't hold it back anymore. His hands started to roam all over my body. Then he said he wanted to make love to me. I felt a huge knot form in my stomach. "Nick, but..." "I love you, that's all that matters isn't it?" He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom. He gently lay me on the bed and began to undress me. He kissed every newly exposed area of skin. He was tender and so gentle. I've secretly dreamed of this moment for so long that I was helpless to prevent myself from stopping it. I helped Nick remove his shirt as I caressed his soft chest and shoulders. "Are you going to be okay with this?" I couldn't speak I could only nod. He lay beside my naked body. I tried to speak but Nick placed his finger tips on my lips. Then he kissed me. He said, "no words, just make love to me." He began to explore my body and then he straddled me. He slowly inserted himself inside me. Tearing through my hymen. It was the best pain in the world. I'd saved myself for Nick. He didn't know that before, but he knew it now. He looked into my eyes and said, "you're still a virgin?" Through my blurring vision I could see his tears too. I nodded, "I was waiting for you." That just fed the flame of desire between us and he made love to me. I have never felt such pleasure. I've never wanted anyone so much and felt so powerless about it until now. I hid no more secrets from Nick.

Chapter 23

Nick and I lay beside each other. Gazing into each others eyes. He asked, "Did you ever think that this day would come?" "Only in my dreams did I think this day would come." He kissed me softly and he asked me, "Is there anything else you want to know about me?" "Anything?" "I'd never lie, nor hold anything back from you again." I thought a minute without taking my eyes off his. "Did your exgirlfriend ever hurt him like I read? Was that true or fabrication?" "Some of it was. Some of it was fabricated." "I'm so sorry I would never hurt you." "I know you wouldn't." "Okay, now you. Is there anything you want to know about me?" He smiled and then he said, "did you really save yourself for me?" I got choked up and could only nod. He wiped my tears with his fingers and again told me he loved me. "What were we thinking?" he asked. I scooted closer to his warm body. "Nick let's not dwell on the past. Let's just concentrate on our future." We lied there until Nick's cell phone rang. He went to get it. He came back and got into bed with me and talked to Brian. He was propped up against the head board of my bed and then he stretched out my arm so that I could lay closer to him. I rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beat. I could hear the breath racing through his lungs. I could hear the hum of the words that he spoke into the phone come through his chest. He hung up the phone a few minutes later and said good news! I looked up at him and said what? "We're snowed in. The buses can't get through the passes and the flights are grounded". I sat up and said, "oh no!" Nick looked surprised. "I thought you'd be happy?" "I am but that means...." I heard Kim and Cindy enter my apartment. Calling out to me. Nick grabbed the blankets and said, "who's that?" I buried Nick and I under the blankets as Kim and Cindy walked into my bedroom. Kim said, "Oh Shit! Gina?" I poked my head out from under the blankets. She said, "who are you with?" Then Nick poked his head out from under the blankets and they both screamed. Kim actually jumped onto my bed. "No way! This is not happening. Are you who I think you are?" Kim asked. Nick smiled and held out his hand. Kim kissed it instead of shaking it which made Nick laugh. Cindy was mad though. I could see it in her face. I had lied to her. "If you two would wait out in the living room we'll be right there." Cindy turned to leave but Kim hesitated and asked if Nick needed help? "No, I can manage but thank you anyway." She finally left and Nick and I got dressed and I explained to him as we got dressed that I had not mentioned him to them before. "What about at the concert last night?" "I told them the security person got the wrong person." He laughed and said I was good. He kissed me and we walked out to face my friends.

Chapter 24

Cindy wouldn't look at me but Kim was all a glow. Nick Carter stood in my living room and she couldn't believe that. Nick extended his hand to Cindy and shook her hand. She finally smiled, but not at me. Nick and I sat down together and we both told our story. By the end we were all crying. Even Cindy she said, "Why couldn't you trust me after all this time?" I told her, "it wasn't that I couldn't trust her, it was that it was too painful to disguss." Nick put his arm around me. "I've been in love with Nick for such a long time I don't see the Nick you see. I see my best friend. I don't love him because he's a Backstreet Boy. I loved him before that. I know him better than that. What you see on stage is only one aspect of who this man is. He's very fun to be around but he's also a very sensitve person, and that's a side no one ever gets to see. He's very caring and compassionate." "So what exactly happened between you two?" Kim asked. I looked at Nick and Nick said, "we weren't communicating very well and unfortunately we let each other slip away. I can assure you that will never happen again," he said. Then he kissed me full on the lips. Cindy and Kim sat there wide eyed. "This is too unbelievable," Kim said. "You just kissed Nick Carter! You slept with Nick Carter? You never told us, oh my goodness. All this time...," Kim stated. I said, "no, not all this time," I said. "Today was the first time for me." I felt a tear escape and Nick wiped it away. Then Cindy said, "last night at the concert, when you sang Back to your heart. Was that for Gina?" Nick and I looked at each other and said, "was it that obvious?" No one spoke. Cindy stood up and said, "well Kim and I have things to do now." Kim said, "we do?" Cindy grabbed her arm and pulled her up off the couch and said yes, "we have to unpack." Kim said, "oh yeah, what about the Salt Lake Concert you guys just canceled?" Now suspiciously looking between the two of us. "What do we have to do with the weather?" Cindy asked, "will the concert would be rescheduled?" "Of course it would." He asked if we were all fans? Cindy said, "some more than others apparently." Nick looked at me. I said, "what?" Nick looked back at Cindy and she sat back down. She finally began to loosen up and told Nick of how I didn't even own a Backstreet Boy CD. I said, "oh yes I do." She argued, "no you don't." I got up and walked into my bedroom and pulled out a CD case and scrap book. "I've never seen these," Cindy said. I didn't answer. She said, "you never even talked about him, or them or anything." Then Kim said, "do you know all of them?" I said yes, with a laugh. Nick said, "why don't we all get together." Cindy and Kim both said heck yes. A little too eagerly and Nick and I both laughed. Nick said, "it's the least we can do for causing all this bad weather and being stuck here in Colorado." We all laughed. Nick said, "don't make any plans for tonight." They both said they wouldn't. Then I leaned back against Nick. I closed my eyes and wished they would leave so that I could be with Nick alone. Kim finally understood that it was more than infatuation. It was true love and so this time she said, "Cindy? Don't we have some unpacking and stuff to do?" They both got up and said goodbye. Nick followed them to the door and locked the door this time. He joined me on the sofa and then he said, "I'm starving." I had to laugh, I'm surprised he'd lasted all this time.

Chapter 25

I went and took a shower and got dressed for the day. Nick ate his cereal. I'm glad I bought the two boxes because by the time I was done Nick had polished off one whole box. He was sitting on my sofa watching Basketball. I sat down on the sofa and he scooted next to me. He took my hand in his and asked me, "Do you miss shooting hoops?" I said, "I do, we had some of our best conversations in our driveway." Nick smiled as he remember years past. Nick's cell phone was ringing again. He picked up the phone and talked to AJ, Nick covered the receiver and said AJ says, "Hi Reggie." I smiled and waved. I laid my head on Nick's shoulder and listened to his breathing and his conversation. His laugh still tickled my heart. Have you ever felt like crawling inside someone's chest and staying there? That's how I felt right at that moment. He just fulfills me like no man can. Maybe because he understands me. Maybe because I've just known him so long and we are used to each other. But I know one thing for sure, and that is that I love him with all my heart. Nick started to get up. I had fallen asleep. I was so embarrassed. I apologized but he told me not too. Kim had called to check on plans for tonight. I said, "what are we doing?" Nick and the guys had agreed to take us all out to dinner. They didn't want to disappoint us. About 6 p.m. Brian, AJ, Kevin and Howie all showed up at my house. I called the girls and we all headed down to the local restaurant. AJ and Cindy talked all the way to the restaurant. She liked his flavors and he seemed to be digging her too. Annie and Brian were so sweet. He would hold the door open for her and they seemed to like each other. I realize it was only 20 minutes in the limousine but I'm so in love and I want my friends to be happy too. Kim and Kevin were funny. Kim loves Kevin, he's her favorite, always has been. She introduced herself to him and said he was her date for the evening. He laughed and said he'd be honored. The guys all asked about me, "how did I end up in Colorado and stuff?" We all got to know each other again. AJ still calls me Reggie and made all the girls laugh at me. Nick was really concerned about me. After awhile we kind of phased everyone out and just talked. He wanted me to go to Salt Lake with him. "I don't have a ticket." "You don't need one." I smiled and said, "I'd go anywhere for you." We finished dinner and all headed back to my apartment where we broke out the beers. We talked some more until it got really late. The guys all left and Nick stayed with me again. This time he slept next to me in my bed. "I had a great time," I told him as I climbed into bed. "I never realized how much I missed you until today." He is so sweet. We fell asleep and the next morning Nick had to meet up with the fellas to get ready to move on to Utah. We'd meet up in a few hours. He kissed me so passionately I blushed. He looked deep into my eyes and told me he loved me. I smiled and told him I loved him too. He smiled and said, "I love it when you say those words to me."

Chapter 26

He jumped in an awaiting taxi cab and took off to meet up with the fellas. I was so happy. I had Nick back in my life and in a far greater way. I began to pick up my apartment. I love Nick but he's a little messy. I found a sock and a T-Shirt. I also found a bottle of his cologne left open and sitting on my bathroom sink. I lifted it to my nose closing my eyes and inhaled. It was as if he was still here with me. I straightened up a little bit and then I packed an overnight bag as I would be going with Nick. We were all to meet at Denver International Airport at 5 p.m. I had the bigger car so I'd be driving. The girls all met at my apartment at a quarter to four. We threw our bags in the back and headed for DIA. We would be flying United. The fellas had bought out all of first class so we'd all be together. We parked the car and walked into the United Airlines Terminal. Kevin walked up to us first. He looked a little nervous. I asked, "are you all right?" "Yes but Nick wanted me to tell you something..." then he stopped and put his hands in his pocket." "What?" I asked. He shook his head and then a few girls walked up to Kevin. "Where are the guys?" one of them said. Kevin shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't think they were here yet." They started to walk off and then one of them turned back and said to Kevin, "Don't tell Nick I'm here I want to surprise him." Kevin smiled and waved her off. I asked, "who was that?" "She is why we need to talk." I set my carryon bag on the ground and Kevin said, "That is Mandy." My face drained of all color. "Did he invite her too?" "Nick never invites her anywhere she just kind of shows up." Now all eyes were on me. "What?" "She's going to Utah with us." "and...?" "I just wanted you to know that." We followed Kevin through the terminal. All the while my heart was begining to break. Can I compete with her? Should I even be worrying about this? I'll just have to wait and see how Nick behaves I guess. I stood up straighter and tried to walk with a little more confidence. That was until I saw him embracing her. That's when my heart burst. I excused myself and walked into the ladies room and waited for my tears to stop. I just sat in there with my head in my hands. What's going on? A few minutes later I heard some familiar voices outside the stall. That Mandy girl was fixing her makeup. She was talking to two of her friends. She said, "Nick could never stop loving her. She knew it. She was going to make this trip one Nick would never forget." She was laughing and carrying on. Then she asked her friends if they noticed the way he smiled at her. "His eyes lit up didn't they?" Then I heard Cindy and Kim walk in and call out my name. I heard Kim say hi, but the girls didn't respond. Then Cindy was outside my door saying Nick was looking for me. The other girls got real quiet. I flushed the toilet and came out of the stall. I walked over to the mirror and washed my hands and looked in Mandy's direction. She gave me a dirty look. I just smiled and started to walk out. She blocked my way, "Are you Gina?" I looked at her and said yes. I could see the hatred in her eyes. Cindy said, "lets go Gina, Nick is waiting for you and after the weekend you two had you don't want him waiting forever." I stepped around Mandy and I followed Kim out of the bathroom. Cindy said, "was that the bitch?" "That was Nick's exgirlfriend." "What's she doing here?" "She's trying to get Nick back."

Chapter 27

I walked up to Nick and he hugged me and kissed me. "Are you all right?" He knew me so well. Mandy came within his sight and he took his arm from around my waist. I just looked into his eyes and let him see how he had just hurt me. I couldn't stop the tears. "Gina..." But it was too late. He still had some feelings for Mandy and I didn't want to lose him like this. I started to leave and Mandy said, "she better leave if she knows what's good for her." I couldn't control my emotions anymore and I turned around and tapped her on the shoulder. She never knew what hit her. I held nothing back and she layed spralled out on the floor. I think I broke my wrist too. It hurt really bad. I picked up my carryon bag with the good hand and headed out of the airport. Nick never stopped to check on Mandy. He came after me. I was crying for a number of reasons. Mostly my hand, it really hurt. Nick caught up with me and asked me to wait. "Gina, wait....Regina stop!" I stopped and turned to face him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to be here today. If I had known I never..." "What Nick? You never would have invited me?" I turned to walk away from him but he stopped me. "I never should have left you this morning. I should have taken you to the airport myself." I told him what she said in the bathroom about making this a weekend he'd never forget. The corners of his mouth started to turn up into a smile. "What? This isn't funny." "Well she did get her way afterall." I was confused, "what do you mean?" "You have one hell of a left hook." Then I smiled. "I will never forget this weekend for as long as I live." Then he kissed me. "Regina, I love you, don't ever doubt my love for you again." "I'm sorry Nick, I just... I can't lose you again." My hand was begining to swell now. "Let's go see the doctor." We walked back into the terminal and Kevin called for their personal trainer who also happened to be a doctor. He told me it was broken. I told Nick to go without me. Nick said no way. "Come with us we'll ice it down for you and go to the hospital in Utah." "My medical isn't good out of state," He laughed actually they all laughed. Brian said, "I'll gladly pitch in and cover any medical bills after the show they'd seen today." AJ said, "yeah Gina, I'll chip in too." I said, "you called me Gina?" "I don't want to piss you off," and then he hit the floor and lay spread eagle. I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. Nick took my bag and my good hand and we boarded the flight. Mandy wasn't on board and her plans of getting Nick back were ruined forever. We landed in Utah and Nick and I headed to the hospital and the rest of the group headed for the Marriott Hotel downtown. We were rushed through as the doctors had been alerted to our arrival before we left Colorado. My hand was xrayed and then a cast was put on. We headed over to the hotel where we had only about 45 minutes until we had to be at the Delta Center. We stopped at Arctic Circle and got hamburgers and then headed to the venue. Everyone was glad to see us and weren't really surprised that I had a cast on my arm. Kevin said, "if I had only known I would have taped the incident for the folks back home."

Chapter 28

The fellas got ready and before Nick went on stage he stopped and asked me if he could sign my cast? "I don't think its dry yet." He said that's all right. I held out my cast to him and he started to write something. He told me not to read it yet. He closed the pen and kissed me and then he said he'd see me in a little while. "I love you Nick," I said. "Yes but how much?" I looked at him confused and then he pointed to his wrist as he backed away from me. I looked down at my wrist and read what he had written. "Gina no one has ever professed their love for me like you have time and time again. I know you love me and you know I love you. I don't want to it to be me and you anymore, I want it to be us. Will you marry me?" I looked up but he was gone. I heard the crowd start to scream and then the lights in the arena went out. I sat down on the chair and allowed my tears to fall. I was stunned and excited and confused. I had all these emotions running through my head. After a few minutes I got up and walked towards the arena. They had already sung a few songs and changed their clothes. As always the other girls hadn't even noticed I was gone. Nick noticed I was sitting in my seat and then he smiled and blew me a kiss. That's when Cindy leaned over to me. "That's so sweet of him." If she only knew. Once they finished that song. Nick said, "just a minute fellas. I wanna do something different here if you don't mind?" The band and the fellas just kind of looked at him funny and then he whispered something to Brian. Brian nodded his head and then Nick walked to the other fellas and whispered in their ears too. Brian went up and talked to the musicians and then they all started tuning up. Nick spoke again to the audience and then he said, "I'm sorry to keep yall waitin' but we have put a new song together and I thought that since we missed last nights show that we'd sing it for you special tonight." The crowd was going wild. I had no idea what was about to happen. Then Nick said, "you know what? Fellas? I think we need a volunteer from the audience for this one." With that the crowd went absolutely mad. Each of the guys walked off the stage and picked someone out of the audience. Nick headed straight for me. He took my hand and brought me up on stage. The stage hands had brough out some stools for us to sit on. Nick kissed my cheek and helped me sit down on the stool. He sat down and said, "this is for you..."

Chapter 29

The music of a song I'd never heard before started to play. There were some shoo bopping in the begining from the fellas and then Brian began to sing. Then it was Nick's turn. He got down on one knee and sang the following to me:

"So won't you just listen to me,

Got so much I wanna say,

Girl I've got this love for you,

You can have it your way,

Everyday, I will treat you right,

I will never lie,

Girl I promise to you that I won't make you cry,

You'll be safe with me,

and tell me you're feeling the way that I do.

Girl, give me your love,

I'll give you my heart,

Let's put them together,

See what we can start,

I wanna be with you,

You wanna be with me,

I wanna be with you."

After the song was over I was a mess. I could barely see through my tears. Nick walked me to the edge of the stage and I lifted my cast and said, "yes." He smiled and started running around the stage like a crazy man. The rest of the show seemed to take forever. I just wanted to hold him and have him hold me. I finally got my wish. He found me backstage and he lifted me off the floor. He said, "did you really say yes?" I just kissed him. The next thing we know we're surrounded by friends. They had no idea what had happened. Brian was like, "that was fun  Nick, but next time can you clue us in a head of time?" Nick said, "if I knew ahead of time that I was gonna get married I would have planned something a little bigger." We just smiled and then they said, "what?" I held up my cast and they each read what Nick had written, that coupled with the song sealed our love forever. We would never be apart again.

Chapter 30

Nick and I separated in Utah. I went back with the girls while he finished out the tour. He had 4 weeks to go and he promised that if Mandy turned up he would stand up to her. He didn't have to because she heard the news about our engagement. We would get married in the summer. We had a few months to go. Nick would be staying with me in Colorado after he finished the tour. In the Fall I would transfer to Florida State University at Tampa. We'd be moving back home. Our families were beyond happy. Our parents used to dream about our wedding but when Nick's career took off they thought their dream had died. We had drifted so far apart back then. Now there wasn't anything that would keep us apart. I've been busy with school and Nick's Birthday is on Friday. He was due back on Wednesday. So I was scrambling to get things in order so that he would be surprised. Since we parted we've talked everyday. I miss him so much. I'm planning on making him dinner and just spending time together with him. Just the two of us. His family isn't too happy that we won't be in California but we promised to fly out early Saturday morning. This week is dragging by. Cindy, Kim and Annie still keep me company. They know that the time is coming for me to be moving. We've been doing a lot of things together. I'm really going to miss them. More than they'll ever know. I've been working on my wedding plans with my mom and Nick's mom. I still call her Mrs. Carter and now more than ever she wants me to call her Jane. It's just so hard. She's been Mrs. Carter my entire life. We have the church and the reception hall and now we're working on our dresses. My mother insists on making them. Bridesmaids and my dress. She has 6 months and she has help from my sisters so I'm not stressing if she's not. It's going to be perfect. I just know it is. Nick's surprising me with the honeymoon. I miss him so much I wish it were Friday already. I woke up on Friday morning and smelled the sweetest cologne in my bedroom. I rolled over to find Nick asleep beside me. I almost cried when I saw him. I stroked his face and brushed the hair from his face. His lips began to curl up into a smile. I sang Happy Birthday Baby to him. He kissed me. "I missed you so much," I said. He kissed me again this time a little more passionately and then he told me to show him. He made love to me. It had been a while and he has been the only one. I willfully gave myself over to him and let him please me with his body. We showered together and layed around the house. "Why didn't you wake me when you got in?" "You looked so angelic that I didn't want to disturb you." "Next time you better wake me." "There won't be a next time. I'm with you forever now." I had to kiss him. He's the most passionate and sensitive man I know. In a few weeks it would be my birthday. We'd be spending every holiday together for the rest of our lives.

Chapter 31

Nick and I went down to the local YMCA and shot some hoops. Something we haven't done in a long time. I decided to fill the day with fun things. We went for a swim in the pool and then down to the arcade at the mall. We had a lot of fun. I made arrangements for the girls to take Nick to a movie so that I could get ready for tonight. I was making a candle light dinner for Nick. I didn't want him in the house. It wasn't anything fancy. But it would be the first home cooked meal I'd ever cooked for him and I wanted it perfect. He reluctantly left with the girls. He'd only been home 8 hours and we were already being separated. I promised it would be for only 2 hours and then never again. I baked a cake and fixed the dinner. Then I took a shower and put on a short black dress that exposed a lot of skin. Nick kept calling me on his cell phone begging me to let him come home now. I laughed and told him he was disturbing the movie for the other people. "Theres no one here! It's just the four of us." I had to laugh! "Don't come yet and don't eat too much either." "We aren't even married yet so don't start bossing me around now." But he was joking. "I'll wait another 30 minutes and then I'm leaving." He couldn't wait another minute longer. I said fine. I finsihed getting ready and when Nick walked in the door and noticed the candles he felt bad. I walked to him from the bedroom and kissed him so passionately. "whoa! Can everyday be my birthday?" I laughed, I told him to sit. He sat and pulled me on his lap. I kissed him and told him I loved him. The timer went off in the kitchen and I got up to get the food ready. He stated that everything looked and smelled so good. We ate together and I gave him his presents and then he said he wanted to go to bed. I knew he wasn't tired either. I followed him into the bedroom where he slipped my clothes off my body. Then he slipped out of his. He was very funny. He said, "we needed to practice for the honeymoon." He made love to me so tenderly. Something was bothering him though and I didn't know what. He was holding back a little. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." He couldn't concentrate and so he rolled off of me. I felt like it was my fault. I was the inexpierenced one. I felt awful, "what did I do wrong?" "It's not you, it's me." I rolled over and began to cry. I felt him get off the bed and move into the living room. I didn't dare follow. A few minutes later he was kneeling in front of me. "Gina there is something I need to tell you and I feel so bad for not telling you. But I promise you nothing happened." I wiped my tears and sat up in bed. "What is it Nick?" "Do you trust me?" "Completely," "Mandy was on the tour with us the last week." I was shocked. "What did you say?" Nick repeated himself and said, "nothing happened, I swear nothing happened." "Nick why have you waited so long to tell me? You called me every day. Why couldn't you tell me?" I was hurt now, I believed him when he said nothing happened but he didn't trust me and I needed to know why? "I love you and I didn't want to hurt you." "You just did Nick, you just did." I laid back down and continued to cry. "Can you ever forgive me?" I wouldn't answer him. He asked, "are you still going to marry me?" I wouldn't answer. I didn't know the answer myself. "Love without trust is not love," I finally said to him. "If I lose you again I'll never be able to forgive myself." He took my hand in his and he said, "I'll never keep anything from you again." I scooted over and allowed him back into our bed. Not that I kicked him out but I loved him and he loved me. If he was this upset over it than I knew I could trust him. I lay my head on his shoulder and he carressed my back. I whispered into his ear, "Are you just going to lie there or do I have to do all the work?" He laughed and then he rolled over and asked me, "have you forgiven me?" "You did nothing wrong, except not communicate. I trust you Nick, I wish you would believe that I'm stronger than you think I am. After all I decked her once, I can do it again." He laughed and said, "Cindy would like to get her hands on her too." I said, "Cindy, Annie, Kim, invite her to my Bridal shower." He couldn't stop laughing. Finally I just kissed him. I wanted him and I didn't want to waste another minute discussing Mandy, especially in our bed.

Chapter 32

We flew to California the next day and visted his parents for the weekend. The next few weeks passed quickly and Nick surprised me with Red Roses and he took me out to dinner and dancing for my Birthday. He kept pretty busy while I was in school. One night he asked me if I wanted a family? "Of course, don't you?" He smiled and said, "I want a "big" family." "How big?" "As many as you want." The Spring was here and the snow was gone. Nick and I went on walks and played basketball. AJ and Howie were coming for a visit for Spring Break. We would head up into the mountains and tackle the skiing. Nick had rented a rather large cabin. The girls were all invited too. I had two months left in Colorado. Nick and I were flying back and forth to Florida house hunting. Nick wanted to live by the water and I didn't care where we lived as long as we were together. We had a great time in the moutains of Colorado. It would be the last trip for me. In just a few short weeks I would be heading back to Florida to marry Nick. "Doesn't that sound weird? I'm going home to marry Nick. I can't believe it's really happening," I told the girls. My apartment is pretty much all packed up now. I've been sending stuff to my mom and dad's a little at a time. Nick and I found a beautiful home on the bay. I never thought I could ever fall in love with a house but I did. I have 3 more days of school left and then we fly back to Florida. Time is running out for Nick and I. On Saturday we will be married. Is it possible to love someone this much? I just can not imagine him not being in my life. He takes my breathe away. Why is that? I mean isn't he just a man? His laugh still tickles my heart. The last three days of school just flew by, and I was greatful. Nick and I flew back to Florida right after school. I didn't even wait around for grades. All transcripts would be forwarded on to my new school. Then Cindy, Kim and Annie were flying back with us. It was an emotional trip as they knew I would not be returning with them. But they were happy for me. We landed in Florida and got the girls checked into their hotel rooms. Nick and I drove to my parents house. It was weird for him going back there. "Someone took down the basketball hoop," he said. It was the first thing we both noticed. Nick's old house was even a different color now. "There has been so much change," he said. I looked in his eyes and said, "not between our hearts." He kissed me and my mom and dad told us to come inside all ready. We both laughed. We hugged and kissed everyone. Nick's parents were even there. Since neither of us had a big Bachelor party our families threw a combined party for us. We had two days until we became man and wife. It really was wonderful being home again. Even Nick felt good about it. I never realized how much I missed my family. It was good to be home. Nick and I left somewhere after midnight and drove to our home. We didn't have anything put together but the furniture was placed in each room so Nick and I slept on the mattresses on the floor. We didn't care, as long as we were together, that is all that counts. Nick made love to me in our new home. I was becoming more comfortable with Nick and I tried real hard to please him. He always fell asleep with a smile on his face so I must be doing something right. I was worried and so I asked him, "Do I satisfy you sexually?" He was surprised by the question. "You satisfied me in "every" way." We finally got some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a very busy day.

Chapter 33

We spent the morning in bed and then we tried to put our house together. We had a lot of help as Nick's family was in town too. Between the two familes we had 10 children. Plus our parents. We didn't get much done because we were laughing and playing so much. It didn't matter though, this is what Nick and I dreamt about. We broke for lunch and our parents took both families and friends out to eat. Being back in Florida Nick and I were already talking about the fresh sea food that we didn't get in Colorado. So we went to The Wharf Restaurant. All I can say is that I'm glad we didn't have to pay that bill. I've never seen so many lobsters in my life. Once we finished lunch we all split up. We'd see each other in about 3 hours for the rehearsal. Nick and I walked along the beach. Hand in hand down the beach. Nick loved the Ocean. I asked him, "what do you see when you look out there?" "Continuity, rythum, oneness." "Huh," I asked? He pointed out the waves to me. He said, "see the waves? They break at the same point over and over. Each wave follows in the same path as the previous one." "So you like routine?" I asked him. He laughed, "I like rythum. It's very relaxing to me." We stayed there for as long as we could. I said, "I hoped you picked somewhere with a beach for our honeymoon." He turned to me and said, "really? You wouldn't mind?" "Nick, "as long as we're together I'd go to the moon with you." "I bought tickets to Hawaii, but if you want to go to the moon..." I laughed, "really? We're going to Hawaii?" I jumped on top of him. "Gina... "We're in a public place." I laughed and said I didn't care. "I remember when we were kids you used to tell me that someday you were going to honeymoon in Hawaii. Not for the beaches, but for the pineapple. You loved pineapple." He made me cry. He remembers every little thing I've ever done or said. We sat up and he asked, "why are you crying?" "I just loved you so much and can't wait until tomorrow," I said. He kissed me and we headed back home. Nick and I showered together as we were now covered in sand. He's so good for me and to me. We met everyone at the church and ran through the wedding. We both wrote our wedding vows. It was something that was very important to both of us, they would also reflect the love we have for our families. We went to dinner and then Nick went back to our house with the fellas and I went home with my mom and dad. It would be the first time we'd be apart over night in 5 months. It was harder than I thought it would be. Nick called me before bed time and we fell asleep with the phones in our ears. I was so used to hearing his breathing that I couldn't sleep without hearing him. The next morning I woke to singing. I blinked open my eyes and pulled the phone to my ear. I said good morning. He stopped singing and told me he loved me and missed me. "I'm so lonely without you." It made me smile. It was almost like being with him. He said, "I'll see you in 5 hours." "I love you Nick." "Regina I love you more than words can ever express." With that we hung up. I went bouncing down the stairs. Everyone was up. Dad was so proud this morning. Mom and my siblings were so very excited for me. What could go wrong? What could possibly go wrong today? My parents said nothing! "The skies are blue your friends and family are here, nothing in this world could stop this wedding," I said. I went upstairs and took a long hot bath. I hadn't taken a bath in a long time and I have forgotten how good it feels. I got out of the bath and wrapped in a towel and called Nick. He had already programed the answering machine. "You have reached the home of Nick and Gina Carter, we are away on our honeymoon at the moment, please leave a message but it'll be awhile before we return your call. Beep!" "Hi honey, where are you?" I said. "I just called to say I love you and I'll see you soon." I hung up, he must be in the shower or something. I looked at my dress. My beautiful handmade dress. My mom worked so hard on it. I love her so much for making my wedding all I ever dreamed it would be. The girls were arriving now. We were to get our hair and makeup done here at the house. "I can't wait to marry Nick I say to them." I try the house again. Still an answering machine. Annie said, "the fellas probably took him out to relax him. You know how nervous Nick gets." "Yeah, that's right they probably took him out," I said. The next few hours were spent getting ready for the wedding. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Well, execpt for the day I broke my wrist. AJ lying out on the floor in DIA airport was enough to bring tears to my eyes all over again.

Chapter 34

It didn't take long at all before it was time to head to the church. As I was walking downstairs I heard my mom and dad arguing with someone. "What was wrong? Who is it I asked?" My parent's said it was Nick in unison. "What's wrong? What's the matter?" I asked tears coming to my eyes. Nick begged my parents to let him in. "Daddy, let him in!" My mom said, "but he'll see you". I ran down the few remaining stairs and told them both that Nick wouldn't be here if it wasn't important. I pulled open the door and Nick stepped back. "What? Are you all right? What's wrong?" He said, "you're so beautiful, you took my breath a way there for a minute." I smiled but still I asked, "why are you here? "We need to talk." I felt my smile fade, "don't you want to get married?" "Hell yes, oh you don't think ... I'm sorry Gina. It's just that, well Mandy is causing trouble." "Mandy? What's going on Nick?" "She is upset about the wedding and he's heard from friends that he can trust that she's going to try to stop the wedding." Now it was my turn to lose my breath. I just stared at him. "Nick? What do we do now?" I said as the first tears started to fall. "That's why I'm here. I just wanted to let you know what was happening. We have security at the church and the reception hall. She won't get in. I had to go to the police station today to get a restraining order. Can you believe that? On my wedding day I'm standing in line in my tuxedo, filling out forms for a restraining order." I had to laugh. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't help myself. He said, "I'm glad you are so amused." I kissed him, "Nick I love you so much. I hope you know that." He kissed me and said, "I'll see you at the church, but I just wanted you to know." With that he apologized to my parents and left. Mom started to wipe away the tears trails on my face. Dad said, "I forget what a fine man you have there. If it had been anyone else but Nick, he'd ..." "Oh daddy I love you too." "Let's go get you married, Dad said. Mom and dad headed to the church behind my limousine. My sister was my Maid of Honor, and Cindy, Annie and Kim were the brides maids. There was no sign of Mandy anywhere and our wedding went off without a problem. The reception was wonderful to have our family and friends gathered underneath one roof was amazing. Nick and I danced to "Faithfully" by Journey. We left for the hotel to change and then off to the airport where we flew first class to Maui. Our honeymoon was two weeks in the Hawaiian Islands. We were supposed to go island hopping but we didn't. We hardly ever stepped out of our hotel room. We just couldn't get enough of each other. I was Mrs. Nickolas Carter and I wanted to please my husband any way that I could. As we lay beside each other on our last night in Hawaii Nick asked me, "Did you ever think this would happen?" "What?" H "That we'd be married and here in Hawaii?" I took my time answering him. He poked me in the ribs and said, "Gina?" "I'm thinking." He laughed. "I knew I'd be here in Hawaii someday, but married to you, no. Not after I read you lived with someone. I figured that you must have loved her and ..." He stopped me from speaking. "I was such a fool, if I had only known what was deep inside our hearts, I never would have gotten involved with anyone else." When we arrived back home our family asked us how or honeymoon was? "It was wonderful and very romantic." They asked us about the sights we saw and the people. We just shook our heads and laughed. Mom asked, "didn't you even leave the room?" No one was surprised when a month later we found out I was pregnant.