Masquerade

I was so looking forward to my summer vacation. Things were getting pretty busy in my life and I needed to slow down. One of my managers was throwing a costume ball at his Mansion in Beverly Hills and I was excited to be invited this year. I recently signed a recording contract, well not that recently. I've been apart of the firm now for about 9 months. I recorded an album and opened for a few select bands to wonderful reviews. No one had ever heard of me and now my name was out there. After the summer break I'd be starting my own tour. I was excited but nervous and afraid too. I'm finally packed and I'm heading up to Max's Mansion now. My Land Rover is packed and it's about 7:00 p.m. He wanted us to arrive under the cover of darkness. This was going to be really exciting. We'd be dressed in Costumes by night and we'd mingle with other. Every night would have a different theme. Tomorrow would be Super Hero's. The only catch was that our faces had to be completely concealed so as not to give away who we were. I was going as Wonder Women. I'd have a Black wig and a mask that was a little more elaborate than the actual Wonder Woman but it would work. Also only those who were handled by The Firm, were invited. So that made it more interesting. These would be people I basically worked with. Anyway, I can hardly contain my excitement. I finally arrived at Max's and the house is so huge, I can't get over it. I give my name to the security guard and he allows me to enter. As I watch these two giant iron gates swing open to let me pass. I feel shivers race through my body. I make my way up to the house and find that I'm not the first to arrive. I parked my car and carried my bags inside. As I walk into the house I see Max coming down the stairs. Candy, darling, welcome to my humble home. We both laughed at his joke. He said he was glad that I could make it and he kissed my cheeks. He said please let me show you to your suite. I followed him up the grand staircase to a door that would be my room for the next week. He opened the door for me and carried my bags inside. The room was actually 2 rooms. I felt like crying. It was beautiful. We entered into a sitting area with a fireplace that was already burning. A couch, love seat, television, and a desk with a computer so that we could leave messages for the other guests. We wouldn't know who everyone else was until Friday night, then Saturday we'd have a black tie dinner and dance. Max was so brilliant I could never come up with an idea like that. He left me to get settled in and to be rested for tomorrow. The women guests would do women activities during the day, and the male guests would do their thing. Max wanted it that way. Everyone here this week was single. No attachments what so ever. I unpacked and took a shower and headed downstairs for something to eat. Max had two kitchens. One would be used for female guests, the other for male guests. The male guests were sequestered in another wing of Max's huge mansion. I met up with a few of my friends and we ate and talked about the coming week. We wondered who would be here this week and who we'd know in a minute if they were here. I secretly wanted one special guy, but I knew I'd be ribbed for it if I mentioned his name. See we'd been linked romantically in the past, but the truth of the matter is I'd never even met him. So for the time being I just kept my mouth shut. We all turned in for the night. Max had us up at 7 a.m. for a breakfast get together. Instead of going right to bed we all headed back to my room and turned on the computer. We tried to figure out who might be here. I'd already received an email. It was from Max, welcoming me to his home. He left his email address in case I encountered any problems no matter what he'd always get the message. We played around a little and we even signed on to AOL and went into a few chat rooms to see if anyone was talking about us. It was very informative to say the least. We finally split up and I got ready for bed. I went to turn off my computer and noticed that I had another email. I read the email as this person told me he noticed I was online for quite sometime. He followed me into the chat rooms and waited for me to say something, anything. He said he'd see me tomorrow night. I forgot that people could see us online. I noticed earlier that there were quite a few of the guests online. I never even thought to follow them. I decided to make myself invisible to the buddy list and tomorrow night if he signed on again, I would follow him. I turned off the computer and climbed into the softest bed my body has ever had the pleasure of being in. I don't even think that I dreamed. I remember the alarm clock going off at 6:30 a.m., it scared me because I hadn't noticed it before. I got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. I was surprised to see 20 girls were invited. Which meant 20 men. I couldn't wait for the evening to fall on us. We spent about 2 hours in the breakfast room. We ate and talked and then Max came in and talked to us about what he had in store for the coming week. We finally headed back to our rooms and I switched on my computer. "You Got Mail," sang my computer. I checked my email. Hmmmm, same guy from last night. He said he noticed that I read his note but was surprised I hadn't responded to him. I noticed he was online and I followed him into a chat room. It was Backstreet Boys 3. I wonder if he's a Backstreet Boy? Then I noticed he left. I followed him again, this time into N'Sync. Who is this guy? I thought to myself. I have one week to find out.

Chapter 2

The day was long and I hung out with some of the girls and we talked about our costumes and how excited we were about tonight. We promised to all meet back in my room after the party and exchange notes. We had lunch out by the pool and swam a little. All the while no men were in sight. It was kind of eerie until we found out later that they had all gone out golfing. The party was to begin at 8:00 p.m. So we all met for dinner at 6 and then we scurried up to our rooms to prepare for the first night. I was a little self-conscious about my outfit but when the others came to get me, I knew I would be all right. My outfit covered a lot more than theirs did. Two of the girls went as Electro Woman and Dinah Girl. I remember that show. Geez, that was the 70's. Wow, what a stretch. We headed down to the grand ballroom and the guys were already there. I actually had butterflies in my stomach. I saw every imaginable super hero there ever was. From Batman and Robin to The Incredible Hulk. Max welcomed us all to the party and he had us line up and pick from a hat who our escort for the evening would be. I picked Spider Man. Lucky me. He was in a skintight costume that showed every ripple of muscle. We headed over to the punch table and he offered me a drink. I couldn't place his deep voice. Then again I'd really not met many of the people The Firm, represented anyway. We danced all night long and he was very sweet and sensitive to my needs. It turned out to be a wonderful evening after all. We retired back to my room and tried to figure out who we all had. Some one had Howie D. He came as Zorro. We all laughed at that. Zorro a super hero? Well, I guess. I said I had Spider Man but I have no idea who he is. I described his voice as best I could and his personality. Someone said it was Kevin Richardson. I said not sure. She pulled out her BSB CD and played a snippet of Kevin talking. My face lit up, I was dancing with Kevin Richardson? Oh my, he's so dreamy. Well we all retired for the evening. I took a shower and said well, Howie is here and so is Kevin. That means there is a strong possibility that the other guys are here too. I avoided the question once again tonight as to who I would most likely want to be paired up with? I just said I didn't care, but deep down inside I did. I climbed into bed after my shower and then remembered to check my email. I received a message from Spider Man thanking me for the dance tonight and telling me he had a wonderful time. He still didn't know who I was, but was wondering if I knew who he was? I emailed him back. Hi Kevin, yes I know who you are. I had a great time tonight too. Maybe we'll get paired up again tomorrow night. I also saw my friend emailed me back. He asked what costume I was wearing tonight. He was Batman, he wondered if I had been paired with him or not. I emailed him back and said no, I was with Spiderman. I was Wonder Woman. I told him I had a wonderful time and looked forward to tomorrow night. I slept until almost 10 a.m. After using the bathroom and getting dressed I turned on my computer to find another message from Spiderman and Batman. LOL, that's how I referred to them anyway. Kevin was surprised I figured him out, I emailed him back and said the girls all got together and we figured out it was him. I hadn't figured it out myself though. I went to Batman and read his email. Just then an IM popped up on my screen. It was from my Batman. Hello he said. Hi, I IM'D back. He asked me how old I was? I said 21, you? He said 22. I told him I was just reading his email. He said okay. He explained he had never ever done something like this before. But since I was willing to respond to his email he now felt compelled to write again. He was honest and said he email 10 girls and I was the only one to respond. I IM'D him back and asked him if I appeared desperate to him now? He said, LOL, not really just friendly. We talked, or should I say IM'D each other for about an hour. He gave a little information about himself without giving anything away, and I did the same thing. I'm intrigued I said. I hope we get paired up sometime this week. There are so many people here though the odds are against us. Just then there was a knock on my door, Batman I gotta go. Someone's at my door. This is Wonder Woman signing out. With that I signed off and opened my bedroom door. Missy and a few other girls wanted to go play tennis. Sure come in I need to change first. I changed my clothes and they said they missed me at breakfast this morning. As they looked at my unmade bed, I told them I slept in. I made up my bed and we headed out to the Tennis Courts. We played for a few hours and then went inside for lunch. Tonight was going to be the 70's. I had bell-bottoms and platform shoes. I even found a long black wig. I was going for the Cher look. Once again the girls came and picked me up and they laughed, as I was a great Cher. They looked good too. Missy, who is African American, had this Afro that had to be 4 feet wide. We kept playing with her hair all night. We were again paired up with a male counter part and I enjoyed myself immensely. I knew it wasn't Kevin, this guy had a weird funky voice. Max sure knew how to have fun though. We again headed up to my room and talked. No one could figure out who I had and the others had no clue this time either. 2 days down and three to go. Will I ever be paired with my mystery online friend. And will I be disappointed? After the girls left I went online, no message from my friend.

Chapter 3

I changed for bed and checked my email on more time. Spiderman had emailed me again and asked if we had been paired up? I emailed him back and said nope. I had some Spanish guy with a funky voice. I sent the email and again checked to see if Batman had emailed me, nope he hadn't. Before I turned the computer off I emailed Max to let him know of the great time I was having. I again slept in until 9:30 a.m. I turned on the computer and Batman had emailed me. He was sorry he missed me but again asked if we had been paired up? He was dressed as an African American Mod Squadish look about him. I emailed him back and told him we weren't paired up. He then IM'D me and said who were you? I told him I dressed as Cher. He said he remembers seeing me. He said we weren't paired up. I said no, but I remember you too. You were doing the funky chicken with my friend. You both had those huge Afro's. He said, "you saw that?" I saw that I said. He asked me not to hold it against him. I promised him I wouldn't. Tonight was Disney Characters. He tried to get me to tell him who I was going as, but I didn't want to ruin the game. Besides, what if we get paired up, then we'd feel more awkward then ever. He said I was right. I told him I was starving and was going to eat and find the girls. He said he'd see me tonight. After I signed off I knew a little about him anyway. He was a white guy, not that it mattered but the Spanish guy with the squeaky voice irritated me after awhile and I'd hate for it to have been him. I headed downstairs and asked the cook for an egg over medium and a slice of toast. No problem she said. I poured myself some Orange Juice and ate in silence. I was deep in thought and never saw or heard, Max come in. He sat down at the table and stared at me until I came out of my trance. How long have you been there I asked? He looked at his watch and said oh, about 30 minutes. I laughed, he hadn't been there that long. He asked what I was thinking about? I said well, I sort of met someone online. He's here at the party, I don't know who he is, and he doesn't know who I am, but we talk every night. It's just so romantic in a way. Max laughed and asked if we had been paired together or not? I said no not yet. We don't discuss what we've worn until after the party is over. That's how we know. He said he got my email and was glad I was having such a great time.

I said it's so ingenious, how did you ever come up with the idea? He said he has an overactive imagination and he felt that he needed us all to get to know each other better. I said he was succeeding. With that his cell phone rang and he was off. I finished up my breakfast and went in search of the girls. They were out sunning by the pool again. We talked about the Disney Characters we'd be. I was going to be Pocahontas and joked about who my John Smith would be. We all laughed. The rest of the day was again spent lounging eating and laughing. We were all getting wonderful tans anyway. We were having tons of fun too. We dressed and walked together into the grand ballroom and waited until we were paired with our mates. I was paired with Prince Charming. He wasn't very charming. He was nervous and distracted and seemed like he didn't want to be here. We'd dance and I'd catch him looking at other couples. I kept my mouth shut but I felt real tense and decided to leave early. He was no Prince Charming to me. I returned to my room and took a very long bath and listened to a few CD's. Once the girls came back and saw me changed and cleaned up they asked what had happened? I said I had been paired with Prince Charming but he wasn't interested in spending any of his time with me. He kept looking around the room. Missy said he must have been looking for Cinderella, we got a huge laugh out of that one. Missy was funny she was so funny. Someone said they were with Brian Littrell. They could tell by his Southern Accent. He was dressed as one of the Seven Dwarfs. Once again they retired and I turned on my computer to see if my Batman had emailed me. No email, but Spiderman wanted to know if I was with him. I said no such luck, I wish it was you, I had a terrible date. But I left it at that. I emailed my Batman and told him I had a horrible time. I also asked him when we were going to meet? I couldn't wait until Saturday. Max had this ingenious idea, he took pictures of all of us each night so that on Saturday when we had our black tie affair there would be pictures of us posted. Then we could go back and find out who we had been matched with. I again climbed into my bed and fell asleep without much effort. I woke up very early and the girls wanted to go to a mall and go shopping. I didn't have time to check my email so I quickly go dressed and headed downstairs. I grabbed an English muffin and hopped into the car and headed to the mall with the girls. It was Thursday, we had to dress up in turn of the Century Clothing. Big huge hoop skirts and stuff. Martha Washington wigs and all. We didn't care, we were all having a great time. We spent the entire day away, doing some shopping for Saturday's big event and then we stopped of at a Mexican Restaurant and had a few drinks. Missy was driving so she couldn't drink. We arrived back at Max's Mansion with only an hour to spare. We had to help each other as these outfits had many parts that had to be tied and fastened here and there. I went for the Kate Winslet Titanic look. I had a green satin dress on and a red wig. We walked inside and were paired up with our mates and I had a much better time than last night.

Chapter 4

I was paired up with a very nice man. Too nice if you know what I mean. He insisted on bringing me drinks all night. Which was fine with me. But I was getting too tipsy. We sat with Missy and her friend. She whispered in my ear and said she though she had my Prince Charming from last night. I had to laugh. She wasn't having much fun. I said I needed to powder my nose, and invited her to come along with me. We bailed back to my room. We liberated a few bottles of Champagne and changed our clothes and listened to music and talked. She said Candy, you've never said who you wish to meet here this week. I said I know, you guys would all laugh if I told you though. She promised she wouldn't laugh. I started laughing myself now. She said who is it? I said okay, well. No I can't tell you. She said what's wrong with him? I said nothing, he's just … I don't know. She said just tell me I promise not to laugh. I said Nick Carter. The scream that came from her mouth. She said but I thought you two were already going out? I said no it was just a rumor, but one I wished was true. She asked if I thought he was here? I said I don't know, but what I do know is that I haven't been paired with him yet. I came close with Spiderman though. We laughed. We finished off the Champagne and then the other girls returned to my room. They all had had a great time and couldn't help but notice Missy and I a little more drunk than usual. Also that we had changed our clothes. We told them we both had really boring dates. One of them asked what we were going to do on Saturday when our identities were revealed? I shrugged my shoulders and said nothing why? She said well Candy, you've run out on two of your dates. That just made me laugh. Missy laughed too, but it wasn't that funny. They all left me alone and I showered and fell into bed. I was exhausted. I woke up the next morning and went to breakfast. It was the first time all week that I woke up in time to eat with the other girls. Tonight we had to dress up as an object. I was going to be a Q-Tip. Missy was going to be a Bowling Pin. It was funny but we were all looking forward to tomorrow night. One of the girls stated she was getting a lot of emails. I almost jumped out of my skin. I quickly finished my breakfast while the girls stared at me. I forgot something I said as I left the table taking the stairs two at a time. I turned on the computer and clicked on the mailbox. "You Got Mail," sang out to me. There were about 20 emails from Batman and 2 from Spiderman. I emailed Spiderman first and told him I hadn't been with him. Sorry. Then I read Batman's emails. My heart stopped on the second email. He was Prince Charming. I continued to read the rest of the emails. He was wondering why I wasn't responding then he was wondering if he had BO as he'd been dumped by his dates for the last two nights. I about screamed when there was a knock on the door. I got up and let Missy in. She said what's up? I said I know who my Prince Charming was and your date was last night? She said who, I took a deep breath and said, my Batman. She asked what I was talking about?

I filled her in on how we had been emailing each other everyday but with the past two days being so busy I hadn't checked my email. Then it was mentioned at breakfast this morning and look what I found. She said how are you going to respond. I said like this. He was online now. I IM'D him. I said hello, and he asked where I'd been? I said shopping and exhausted. He wondered if we'd been paired up yet. I said we had been. He responded with what? I said I was Pocahontas. He said but you left early, why did you leave early? I said because I couldn't keep your attention. He said do you mean I had you in my arms and I blew it? I looked at Missy and said awwww. She said ask him who he was with last night? He described himself to us and I told him he was with my friend and I was sitting with him then too. I stole his date and we bailed on both of you. He laughed, well he sent a LOL to me. I said nothing personal but you seemed preoccupied. He said he was looking for me. Now it was my turn to laugh. I said I was right under your nose the entire time. He said he couldn't wait until Saturday. He made me promise to have dinner with him and to save him a dance. I said I would, I owed him at least that. He had to go, his friends were here to lift his spirits. I had to laugh, I said I really am sorry for bailing on you twice. He said he'd survive. Then he was gone. She said he's wonderful over the computer. I said you saw for yourself, he was preoccupied because he was looking for me. She said he does sound really sweet. But what about Nick Carter? I said what about him? This guy seems like so much more. Missy said but Nick Carter, Candy. He's so fine. I know, I know, but looks aren't everything. She laughed and said you don't even know what this guy looks like. Who cares I said. Let's go out and play some Tennis. She said she'd meet me downstairs in 20 minutes. I dressed and headed downstairs and heard some commotion going on outside. I looked out the window and saw Nick and Brian getting into Nick's Durango. I almost fainted but them I remembered my Batman and the feeling quickly passed. What if Missy was right? What if my Batman was ugly and boring? It was just a chance I would have to take. Missy came downstairs and we headed out back. I casually mentioned that I just saw Nick and Brian leaving. She said how does that make you feel to know he's really here? I said do you want to serve first or should I? She laughed and told me to go for it.

Chapter 5

The last night of anonymity, it was a little scary. I dressed up as a Q-Tip and met the girls downstairs. I again was looking for my Batman but I know I wasn't paired with him nor could I figure out who he was. The costumes were very funny. Everything from Cigarettes to toilets. I never had so much fun. The evening ended and we went upstairs to prepare for tomorrow. I checked my email and Batman had emailed me. He asked if I was the Q-Tip? I said yes, how did you know? He said he couldn't keep his eyes off me all night. I said what were you? He said he was the toilet brush. I laughed as I remembered seeing him walk in with someone dressed as a can of Ajax. We chatted for a little while and then I got so tired I had to go. He reminded me that tomorrow we had a dinner date and a dance. I promised not to run away. I fell into bed and didn't climb out until 11 a.m. I chatted with Batman until about 2:30 a.m. Missy was worried and came looking for me. I hadn't even opened the blinds in my room yet. She came in and I explained to her that I spent half the night talking with Batman. She said at least you don't have to wait very long. Dinner tonight is at 6 and it's almost 11:30 a.m. now. We decided to go back to the mall I took a quick shower and met Missy in her room. We drove off and spent a few hours there. We got back to the mansion around 4 and got ready for the dinner. The pictures were posted downstairs but no one was allowed to peek at them until after dinner. I was so nervous. Max wanted to reveal the identities of each person. Then we could refer back to the pictures later. We all headed downstairs and met Max in the grand ballroom. We had a social before the dinner and Max came out and called off one by one who was who. When they got to my name I looked over at the men and desperately tried to figure out who was Batman. I saw a lot of smiles but no one stood out. Then they said Batman, Prince Charming, The toilet Brush, etc., I held my breath as Max said Nick Carter. I actually screamed. Everyone in the room erupted in laughter. Missy was looking at me and smiling. Then I found Nick in the line up. He was smiling but he didn't know who I was. Finally the last name was called and then Max said, Dinner is served. Nick kept looking around at the women and I walked towards him and smiled. He finally saw me coming and his smile widened. I said Hi, I'm Candy. He said Pocahontas? I said Batman? We both laughed and took a table and sat. There were tables for two set up all over the ballroom. Nick was very nervous. I told him I expected his full attention this time. He said he expected me to stick around this time. We both laughed. The food was served and we ate and talked and danced. It was a magical evening. We went outside and went for a walk on Max's grounds. Nick asked to see me again. He wanted to see me again. Could this summer possibly get any better I thought? We exchanged telephone numbers and he walked me back inside. It was already 1 a.m. and everyone else had already gone upstairs. Max's people were cleaning up the ballroom. I said good night and went upstairs.

Missy was waiting asleep on my bed. I woke her up and she said where the heck have you been? I just smiled and said he really is Prince Charming. She smiled and I relayed our entire evening to her. She said I lucked out with Batman being Nick Carter. I said I know how amazing is that? I took a shower and changed for bed. I signed on my computer and checked my email. Batman was back! He told me he had a great time this week, and it was all because of me. How sweet is that, I thought? He said he hoped that we could see each other next week. I emailed him back and told him I looked forward to receiving his emails and gave him my personal email address. I told him even if this doesn't lead anywhere, I'd still like to email him if that was alright? I sent the email and climbed into bed. We would all be eating together in the morning at 8:30 a.m. I last looked at the clock and it said 4:10 a.m. My alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I packed up my things and brought them out to my car. I then went into the dining room and waited for everyone to arrive. Some people were already there, reading papers and holding conversations and stuff. I noticed Nick walk in the room and couldn't help smiling. He then noticed me and walked in my direction. He said he got my email and sent me his personal email address back. I smiled and he asked where I would be sitting? Just then Max walked in and we all took our seats. Nick sat by me and we all clapped in appreciation of what Max had done for us. He provided all the costumes and the food and the atmosphere, This would be a week I'd never forget. Breakfast was served and Max made the rounds and then he stopped at me. He looked at me and said Batman? I nodded and said yup! Nick said you knew who I was? I said no, not until Max announced your name last night. But I did have a conversation about you a few days ago. Nick said oh yeah? What did she say Max? Max walked away and said I'll never tell. I just laughed and asked for more orange juice. We finished breakfast and it was time to leave. Sunday came so fast, I had a great time I told Max. Nick walked me out to my Land Rover and he said he'd call me tonight. I said great, with that I got in my car and drove away. When I was sure it was safe I screamed my head off. OMG, Nick Carter is going to call me tonight! I was laughing, why? I don't have the slightest idea, but I was happy.

Chapter 6

I pulled into my Manhattan Beach home and threw all my clothing into the washing machine. I sorted through my weeks worth of mail and switched on my computer. Nick had already emailed me. I always scroll to the bottom first, his was the very last email I found. But it was the first one I'd read. I had emails from friends and family. But Nick's was the most important. He again thanked me for making his week so memorable and couldn't wait to take me out. I smiled as I read the email. I emailed him back and told him to hurry up and call me. I finished my emails and paid my bills and finished my laundry. I had just sat down to read the newspaper when the phone rang. It was Batman, I mean Nick. He asked what I was doing? I said for the first time today I was relaxing. He laughed, he said he'd been really busy too, but he got my email and was just following directions. I laughed, and asked him what he had done today. He said he went to visit his parents and then did his laundry while he was there. He had lunch with them and told them all about the Masquerade party and how he met me. They thought it was funny. I said it is kind of funny isn't it? He asked if I had plans for dinner? No, I don't have any. He invited me out for dinner. I said that would be fun. I gave him my address and he said he'd be here in two hours. How excited I became. I felt like a teenager again. I couldn't concentrate on my newspaper so I went in search of something to wear. I was finally all put together and had 30 minutes to wait until Nick arrived. I couldn't believe my luck. I thought he was the sexiest man alive. How am I going to get through one night alone with him? The past week 100 people surrounded us. Last night we weren't really alone either. Now he was driving over to my house to take me out on a "real" date. I turned on some music and fixed my hair again, and checked myself out in the mirror. I was so nervous. The doorbell rang almost causing me to jump out of my skin. I headed for the front door, but not fast enough. Another loud chime from my doorbell echoed throughout my home. I opened the door and found Nick standing on the other side with some Yellow Roses. He handed them to me and I invited him inside. These are my favorite, how did you know? He shrugged his shoulders and I went to put them in some water. I came back with the vase of Yellow Roses and put them on my Piano. Have a seat, or don't we have time, I asked Nick? He looked at his watch and said we have a few. I offered him something to drink but he declined. I sat down and it was weird, it was so quiet. I kept looking at my hands and then I said so, where are we going tonight? He said Paradise Grill was a favorite of his. I said I love that place. He smiled now, I said I always order the Cheeseburger, even though it's kind of swanky I love their cheeseburgers. He was loosening up now. He said the Paradise Burger? I said oh yeah, I can eat one of those myself. He laughed and said that is what he always ordered too. He said let's get out of here, shall we? I stood and grabbed my bag and locked up the house. Nick's Durango was parked on the street. He helped me inside. His tan interior was immaculate. Nothing on the floor, no dust in sight. He got in and I asked if he washed his car today? He laughed and said nothing gets by you does it? I had to smile. Nick headed to the restaurant and we talked a little about my career. He said you know we've been linked romantically in the newspapers, don't you? I said yes, maybe this is fate then. He just looked at me. I dropped my face in my hands, what I mean is that we're dating, I mean we're on this date because of them. Nick said it's okay, I knew what you meant. I could feel my face turning three shades of red. We pulled into the parking lot and headed inside. It wasn't very busy for a Sunday night. We ordered our burgers and again talked some more. Nick excused himself and headed for the restroom. When he returned he sat even closer to me. It made my heart flutter every time his arm brushed mine. Our meal came and we devoured our food. I was hungrier than I thought. Nick thought it was funny enough that I even finished the Colossal Paradise Burger to begin with. I said, I told you I could eat one of these myself. Nick laughed, we talked a little more and I filled him in on my concert tour that would start mid September. He was excited for me. He said if he could ever be of assistance to me, just call him. I smiled and thanked him for that. He said what do you want to do now? I said I'm enjoying myself just talking to you. He reached over and held my hand. He said, I'm enjoying your company too. He said let's go out to the pier. Okay, that sounds like fun. Nick paid the bill and we headed to Santa Monica Pier. The pier was loaded with people. Summer time brought out the game booths and street vendors to the late hours of the night. Nick and I played a few games and we rode on the Ferris Wheel. We were right on the ocean so there was a nice salt-water breeze. We shared a snack on the pier and then Nick drove me home. I invited him in for a few minutes. We really didn't have much to say but I didn't want him to leave just yet. He said he really had a great time tonight. I said I did too. He was going in studio this week to work on another album with the guys. I said that reminds me, on Super hero's night how were the guys dressed? He smiled he said well you know Kevin was Spiderman, I was Batman, Brian was Robin, Howie was Zorro, that made me laugh, and AJ was the Riddler. I had to laugh, The Riddler as a super hero? Nick said that's AJ.

Chapter 7

I walked Nick out to his Durango and thanked him again for dinner and a wonderful evening. I wished him good luck in studio this week and he drove off. I went inside and changed for bed. I had just gotten under the covers when my doorbell rang again. I headed for the front door and was surprised to see Nick standing outside. I opened the door and asked if he forgot anything. He said yes then he leaned in and kissed me. Oh the feelings I was feeling. He said he'd call me tomorrow and then he left. Leaving me standing there in the open doorway in my pajamas. I finally broke from his spell and closed the door and went back to bed. I could still feel his lips on mine. Forget reading my book tonight, I got up and emailed my "Batman."

Okay you just left for the second time. What was that all about? I'm sitting here unable to sleep now because you've stirred something inside of me with that kiss. Well, I'm going to try to go to sleep now. I just had to get this off my chest. When will we be able to hold these conversations in person? The computer terminal has become my backbone lately. Anyway, I hope you have a great and productive day tomorrow. I'll talk to you later. I switched of the computer and jumped into bed. I dreamt of the week we'd spent at Max's house. Now it was overflowing into my daily life. This was the best gift anyone has ever given me. I woke around 9 and headed to the kitchen. I started some coffee and toast and walked outside to get the newspaper. I sat down and ate breakfast and finished the paper and then turned on my computer to do some work. Well, Nick emailed me and there went my morning. Nick said he just had to kiss me last night, he'd wanted to do it since we were stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel. It made me smile to even remember. He said he doesn't want the computer to be his strength either. He thinks that over time the emails will not be used as a place for us to communicate our feelings. Oh by the way, what feelings were stirred? I could just see him smiling as he typed that. He again promised to call me and he said he'd try to come by if he didn't finish too late. I closed my mail and went to try to get some work done. I was writing a few songs and wanted to show The Firm that I was a serious artist. These are songs that I had been working on since I was probably 16. I had the melody, I just had a tough time coming up with the lyrics. My phone rang, startling me out of my deep thought. I picked it up thinking it must be Nick. It wasn't, it was Max and he wanted me to come in this afternoon if I had time. Sure, is everything all right? He said everything was fine. He asked me to bring in my music too, he thought he had someone who could help. I said sure, I'll be there about 12:30, is that all right? He said it was just fine, I said Max? Thank you for last week, I'll never forget it as long as I live. He said thank you and that he enjoyed it as much as I did. I packed up my music and went to shower and change. I headed uptown in my Land Rover and parked in the underground parking. I headed up to Max's office. He had his secretary call in, whoever, I couldn't hear. He had me sit at the piano and play what I had so far. I again had to tell him what a wonderful time I had. He said he was glad. I started playing my song and singing what I had. When I got to the part of the song where I had no words I just played the melody. Then I finished. I heard some applause and turned to see Nick standing in Max's office. I blushed, and Max said this is Nick Carter and he has agreed to help you with your song. I said oh really? I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. He made Max get up and he asked to read my music. Max left, when I don't know… All I know is that 3 hours later Nick and I had finished my song. We left an instrumental part in the middle and repeated the chorus to fade at the end and wrote another verse. So I played and sang it through and Max had come in somewhere during the song and he said that we made a great team when I had finished. He said the song is fantastic. We need it on disc soon. I just smiled and Nick asked me if I had any other songs? I said yes, but I didn't bring them. Max said he was leaving and he'd see us tomorrow. Just lock up when you leave. Max no sooner left the office when Nick's lips found mine. I said what are you doing? He said he just had to do that. He said is you music at your house? I said yes, why? He said well let's go work on some more. This is really good. I packed up my music and Nick followed me back to my house. I went into my study and pulled out all the songs I had ever written. We sat at my dinning room table and sorted a few out. He said they were really good. He asked which ones I had music for? I said all of them. I right the melodies first and then try and fit the lyrics. He said I was a genius. We sat at my piano well into the morning hours. Nick had picked out ten songs that he thought were really good. He had me play through the melody first and then sing the words. He made some corrections and ultimately we had another finished song. He got to one song about lost love and he asked what had inspired me to right it? I said it was about my grandparents, God rest their souls. He said what happened to them? I relayed the story I had heard my entire life. How they fell in love but my grandmother's father wouldn't allow them to date. But their love was stronger than anything. They ran away together and got married. Started a family and a business together. Then one day my grandfather didn't come home. My grandmother knew he was dead, she had a feeling and no one could console her. Later that evening it was confirmed.

Chapter 8

My grandfather had stopped to help a stranded motorist when he was struck by a car and killed. My grandmother was devastated and she became very depressed and eventually committed suicide. She couldn't live without her one true love. Nick said it was very sad, and he was sorry for my loss. I said it's all right, but then he reached up and brushed my tears away. I hadn't even realized that I'd been crying. He asked about my parents. I said my mother had passed away when I was born and no one knew where my father was. He again said he was sorry. He said where did I live. I pointed to the lyrics and said with them. Meaning my grandparents. Now Nick looked extremely sad. I wiped my eyes and excused myself and headed to my bedroom. I grieved all over again for my grandparents. I held a picture of them in my hand as I told them I loved and missed them so much. I noticed Nick's reflection in the glass and turned around. He just held out his arms and held me. He said he knew there was something special about me. It comes through in my music. He took the picture from my hand and said they were beautiful people weren't they? We sat on my bed as I reminisced about them. Grandpa Joe would always come home with candy in his pocket for all the grandkids. So after my mom died during my delivery my Grandfather said I was the sweetest baby he'd ever seen. Grandma Thelma said we'd name her Candy. So my entire life I'd been raised with the nickname Candy. Nick said so that's not your real name? I shook my head no, it's actually Kimberly, but I prefer Kim. You can call me Candy though. I told him about the Sunday dinners grandma would cook after church. We couldn't wait for the worship service to end because we all knew we'd be eating grandma's cooking. They spoiled us all rotten. Then when grandpa died, everything was different. When Grandma died things got worse. The family sold the house but I managed to get my hands on a few possessions, but I hated to lose that house. My tears were running down my cheeks again. I apologized for ruining Nick's day. He said I wasn't, he just wished he could take away some of my pain. He asked where the house was? I said Santa Barbara, but someone lives in it now. Nick said his parents live in Santa Barbara. Really? I didn't know that. He looked at me kind of strangely and said why would you know that? I said, if I share something with you, do you promise not to laugh? He said of course. I opened up my closet door and on the inside was a Nick Carter poster. He smiled and stood up, he said am I wearing lipstick? I laughed, no but I was when I kissed you. He smiled and leaned in and told me I now had the real thing. He kissed me and this time he added some tongue. I had to laugh. He broke off the kiss and asked what was so funny? I said your poster never gave me tongue. He laughed and kissed me again. It was getting late or should I say early, it was not 3:45 a.m. He asked me if I was going in to see Max today? I said yes, will you be there? Nick said he had to be there at 10:00 a.m. I said Nick it's almost 4 a.m. He shrugged his shoulders and said he'd get through it. He kissed me good bye and I went to sleep. I woke at 10 a.m. and called Max. I told him I had 9 more songs for him. He said really? I said I'll be in around noon, can you make sure Nick is there? He said sure and then we hung up. I showered and changed and ate a little something. When I got to Max's office, his secretary told me to go right in. Thank you I said and I went inside. Nick was already there and Max was excited. Max said Nick has been telling him all about the songs. He was most interested in the grandparent's song. I told him I wasn't ready to release that one yet. Max said just let me hear it. I sat down at the Piano and started to play the song. Max stopped me and said Nick come over here. Candy, you sing these parts, and Nick you sing these parts. I looked at them both and started from the top. When we finished singing the song Nick and I were both in tears and Max was on his knees. Candy, this is it. You've got to do this song. You and Nick, your voices blend so well together. Please reconsider releasing this song. I looked at Nick and he said it was up to me. I said it would be a duet? With Nick? Max looked at Nick and said, are you in? Nick said oh yeah, I'm in, but only if Candy is ready. I said could I get back to you on this one? I have 9 other songs that I want you to hear.. Max said sure, he did understand, really he did. He just knew that this was the song to take me to number 1. Nick said although being number 1 is important, this means more to Kim than that. Max looked at the two of us, he said Kim? I said I told him Candy was my nickname. Nick looked like he just got busted for something. Which he did but Max just laughed it off. You two got close didn't you? I said why do you think I keep thanking you? He laughed and said let me hear the rest of the songs. I ran through the music I had and he said we've got to get you in the studio. You were right Nick she's really good. I just smiled and then I said, as long as Nick sings with me, I'll do the duet with him, but only him. Max was so happy! He kissed me. He said I wouldn't ever regret it. I looked at them both and said I hope not. The three of us went to lunch at the Paradise Grill. Again they watched as I polished off my Paradise Burger. Nick just smiled, Max wanted to know if we were dating and I almost choked on my burger. Nick said yes, we were dating but it's new, we don't want anyone to know right now. I just smiled as I tried to recover from choking. Nick asked if I was okay? I just smiled.

Chapter 9

Nick said we are dating aren't we? I pretended to still be chewing my food and nodded my head. The whole time I'm thinking, "this isn't happening, is it? Somebody pinch me. Did Nick Carter just ask "me" if we were dating?" I swallowed and took a drink of my diet Coke. Max said what a surprise. I said yes, isn't it? I again took a drink of my diet Coke. Nick just looked at me with a smile on his face. Max's pager went off and he excused himself from the table. Nick slid closer to me and he asked if I was all right? He was massaging the back of my neck. I said I'm fine. He said I seemed surprised that he told Max that we were dating. I said to be honest, I was surprised. Nick laughed, he said is that why you choked? I smiled and he said if I wasn't comfortable… I said oh no, I'm comfortable just … surprised. He leaned in and kissed me. Max said okay you guys, scoot over. Max wanted to know when I wanted to start recording? I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. Well since it's June and your tour is slated for the end of September maybe we should get you in, oh I don't know, say tomorrow. I laughed okay, I'll be there. Max said he really had to go but he'd see me tomorrow. Nick and I stayed and shared a slice of pie and then he walked me out to my car. We kissed and he asked what I was doing for the rest of the day? Why preparing for tomorrow I said. He said he'd call me tonight and then he kissed me again. I headed to the store, as I had no food in the house. Not that I was hungry, but I didn't want to go home to my empty house. I stopped off at the local market and while I wondered aimlessly down the aisle I decided that if Nick and I were dating, then I was going to cook for him. Candles, music, wine the whole enchilada. I bought food and flowers and as I was standing in line when I saw it. On one of the rag magazines with Nick and me. The caption read who is this mystery girl? I about fainted. I shoved the rag onto the check out counter hoping that the woman would not stop and read it. She didn't I sped home and called Nick. I got his voice mail. I left a message and asked him to call me. I felt like I had a knot in my stomach. As if I had done something terribly wrong. When after an hour I still had not heard from Nick, I called the studio. I left a message and Nick called me back within 20 minutes. What's the emergency he asked? I said Nick, we're on the cover of the tabloids already. He said so? I said so? But we… He said he didn't care who knew. Unless it was a problem for me. I said that it's not a problem for me. He said then chill out. I had to laugh. His carefree approach to things was refreshing. I thought you'd be upset I said. He said it's not like we haven't been on that cover before. You knew I asked him? He said he bought the rags to find out who I was. I laughed, I said I bought them too. I tease my cousins with them. Nick laughed, he asked if I was going to be all right? I said now that I know how you feel, I'm better. I asked him what he was doing Friday night? He said spending it with you. I said you're so sweet. I'm cooking for us. Is that okay? Nick said it depends on what you cook? I laughed, you make me feel good inside Nick. He said I did the same for him. He said he'd call me when he got home. I checked my email and found a note from Nick. He still emails me. You gotta love him. He just said he misses me and couldn't wait to see me again. My phone rang and it was my cousin Mary. She said she's been thinking about me and just had to call. I said you saw the magazine. She said well is it true this time? Well, actually, yes! But please if anyone asks it's not true okay? We're just starting this relationship and I don't want anything to jeopardize it. She said I could trust her. We talked about Nick and about the Masquerade party and how we were together and didn't even know it. She thought that was funny. She asked me if I was being honest when I said I didn't know it was Nick sending the emails? I said ho could I know? Her husband arrived home and he yelled hello to me. I said tell him I said hello back, kiss the kids and I'll talk to you later. I have so much more to tell you. She said they were going out for pizza so she had a few minutes. I said well, I'm going into the studio to cut a new album tomorrow. Well, my first album. She said that was great. I said but there is going to be a duet on it. Oh, she said. I said Nick Carter and I would be singing Grandma and Grandpa's song. I could hear the emotion cutting through her voice. She said you finished it? Now I was emotional, I said I did. She asked when she could hear it? I said as soon as I get the first finished CD it's yours. She was so happy for me, she reminded me that she knew I didn't always have it easy. But the Lord always took care of me. I know that Mary. So did you. She told me she loved me and would call me later. I took a long hot bath and just soaked in there for as long as I could stand it. So many things were happening in my life. I just couldn't believe the good fortune. If only my grandparents were here to witness it. I could have made life so much easier for them. My heart still aches for them. It's been 12 years. Besides, deep in my heart I knew they had a hand in all of this. I finally raised myself out of the tub and got dressed. I was extremely tired and hopped into bed. It was only 8:30 but I was tired. My doorbell rang an hour later. I blindly made my way to the front door only to find Nick beaming at me. Were you asleep he asked? Yes, come in it's cold. I was in my nightshirt and didn't especially want the neighbors looking in.

Chapter 10

Nick said he wouldn't stay long, he was just thinking about my song and he came up with a new melody and wanted to share it with me. I said sure, he motioned me to the piano. I said what? You want me to play it? He laughed and said he doesn't play piano but he can read music so… I just looked at him. Why are you doing this I asked him? He said because I know how much this song means to you. I looked over the music and began to play. He said now sing it. I just looked at him and smiled. I started and he followed. Nick it's so beautiful. That's what was missing. The melody wasn't right and you've fixed that for me. He said he couldn't get the melody out of his head ever since he first heard the song. I stood up and hugged him. His hands were freezing. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat or drink. He said he was fine. I wanted to say Oh, yes you are, but I held my tongue. He said he'd let me get back to bed. I said but you just got here, and besides you haven't read the rag magazine yet. I said please stay a few minutes. He said sure, he sat down on the sofa and I handed him the magazine. He pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his chest. He flipped the pages and laughed a little and then he started reading the funnies. I must have fell asleep because when I woke up it was daylight and Nick was gone. I felt weird. I looked out the window and Nick's car was gone. I called his house and he answered. He said welcome back sleepy head. I apologized for falling asleep on him. He said no need to apologize, after all he woke me up. He said he'd meet me at the studio. He was finished but he'd be there for me. I thought he was way too good to be true. What time is it I asked? He said 9:15 a.m. I said oh my, I better get going. Nick just laughed he said he'd meet me there and he hung up. I never got ready so fast in my life. I was brushing my teeth with one hand and applying make up with the other. I got dressed and headed for the studio. Damn! The traffic here is awful. I was about 10 minutes late. I apologized to Max but promised him he'd love what Nick and I did to the Grandma song. He said no sweat kid, dazzle me and I'll be happy. Just then Nick walked in and said hello to everyone and then he kissed me. Good Morning he said. I just smiled. We had musicians so I didn't have to play piano but I kind of wished I had to because I wouldn't have been so nervous. We let the musicians play through the song a few times and Nick and I watched Max's expression. He said, "I like it, I like it a lot, what did you do?" Nick said we changed the harmonies around a little. I looked at Nick, he said we when actually it had been him. Finally the band felt they had it and Nick cleared his throat and asked if I was ready? I said as ready as I'll ever be. With that the band started. I closed my eyes and remembered my grandparents. Our voices blended so well it was as if we had been whisked off to another place. We hit it perfectly on the first take. Max couldn't believe it. Now all we need is a title he said. I said "Forever Home." Forever home? They said. I went on to explain that whenever something happened my grandparents would always say Forever Home. Meaning their home. It's a place I've always felt so safe in… my voice trailed off. It was no longer Forever Home, as the house had been sold. I said whenever one of the grandkids had a problem or even if they had something wonderful happen in their lives, we would always call our grandparents. Besides, it would tell my family that this was their song. Nick and Max agreed, okay "Forever Home" it is. That was the title of the CD also. Over the next several weeks Nick and I would drive into the studio together. He became a collaborator on my CD. The press didn't hound us like I thought. Our publicist denied the accusations and everyone went away. Nick did a lot of the arrangements on the CD and when it was finally finished, he was listed on it. I thanked my Batman for all that he is, and all that he does to make me happy. Nick thanked his Wonder Woman for the opportunity to work on this album. We celebrated by going to Max's for dinner. It had been almost 2 months since we'd been there and we were excited to be coming back together. Recording is harder than I thought it would be. I've been so tired that I could barely stay awake past 8 p.m. Tonight is different, we were going back to Max's where it all started. We had a lovely evening and Max had a few friends over. Nick and I mostly chatted with ourselves but we were floored when Max said he had a treat for us. We watched as he said Nick and Candy have recorded a song, which will take them both great places. Nick and I looked at each other. No way, he's not going to do it. Max said, Candy, Nick will you do us the honor of singing Forever Home? What could we say, NO! The guests were smiling and clapping. Max had already given the musicians the music and they were tuning up. Nick stood up and took my hand and we sang the song. Let me tell you, not a dry eye in the house. Even the men were teary eyed. Max looked me in the eye and said now that is what it's all about. I followed Nick back to the table and we spent the rest of the evening dancing. We finally got back to my house around 11:30 p.m. I was exhausted. Nick kissed me good night and turned to go. I'll see you tomorrow okay? I pulled him and to me and kissed him again. He said let's go to Catalina Island tomorrow.

I said really? He said he's pick me up at 9 a.m. I kissed him again and he went home. I climbed into bed exhausted by the day.

Chapter 11

Nick was at my door at 9 a.m. sharp. I wasn't ready, but what else is new. I combed my hair back and brushed my teeth and I was ready. We headed down San Pedro where he paid our fare over to the island. It would take a little more than an hour to get there so we walked around the boat and cuddled in the cool ocean air. We laughed as a few people suffered from seasickness. Nick was a lot more serious than I thought though. He was genuinely interested in other people. When a little kid's dollar bill flew out of his hand and into the ocean, Nick dug into his pocket and handed him a five dollar bill. Another time he bought a can of soda for a lady who had dropped hers and it shattered all over the deck. I hung onto his arm the entire way to Catalina. I was beginning to feel very safe in his arms. Once our boat docked we went ashore and toured the island of Catalina. We walked along the shoreline. It was very romantic. We stayed for lunch and headed back to the dock to head for home. I had a great time I told Nick. He kissed me and said he did too. He was glad we came together. The ride back was very cold. I nearly froze. Nick and I were both in a tank top and shorts. Once we got back to my place I made hot cocoa. Over the next few weeks the album was finished and I was approaching a very emotional anniversary in my life. The death of my grandparents. Nick could tell something was going on, as I was very quiet and distracted. I told him I was driving up to Santa Barbara this weekend and he asked to come with me. I told him this was something I had to do alone, but maybe next year. He said does this have anything to do with the house? I really don't want to talk about it I told him. But my tears gave it away. He asked when I was leaving? I told him tomorrow morning. He said he'd like to talk to me before I left so what time exactly was I leaving. I said I planned on leaving around 9 a.m. Nick said okay he'd call me. He kissed me a little more passionately than he has ever done before. He then told me he really cared about me and was concerned about me. I told him I'd be all right. I walked him out to his car and kissed him again. I told him I would miss him this weekend. He asked when I was coming back? I said Sunday, my cousin lives there and I haven't seen her all summer. Nick said as long as I wasn't alone. He kissed me again and drove off. I went inside and packed a bag for the weekend. I called my cousin and told her I'd be in tomorrow afternoon, I'd call her when I got into town. She was happy I was coming and asked if I remembered to get her a CD? Of course I did silly, I'll see you tomorrow. I hung up the phone and soaked in the tub. It always calmed me. I got out and got dressed and made sure everything was in its place, overnight bag by the front door, camera, and my purse. I climbed into bed just as the phone rang. It was Nick, he was thinking about me and wanted to ask if I wanted company again. I said no, I'll be fine. I have my family up there, you'd just be bored. He made me promise to call him. I hung up and went to bed. My alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I seriously considered putting off the trip. I was tired. I got up anyway and I called Nick and he told me to have a great time. I ate breakfast and headed up the 5 towards Santa Barbara. The drive was beautiful, ocean view almost the entire way. I loved this drive. It took me close to three and ½ hours to get there but it was beautiful and I didn't mind. I headed for the town Cemetery where my grandparents and mother were buried. I stopped at the flower vendor out front and bought two bouquets of flowers. I continued to drive through the cemetery until I came to the family plot. I placed the flowers on each of their graves and grieved for them. For the mother I never knew, and for the only parents I ever knew. I know it's sounds silly but I sat there for almost 2 hours talking to them and singing for them. I told them of the tour and how much I missed them. I promised my grandparents that I'd get their house back some day. If it's the last thing I do, I'll get that house back. I stretched out on the grass and thought of all the wonderful memories I had with them at that house and it just made me sad. It also made me angry that their children would just up and sell it. I finally got up and headed back to my car. I drove to the only house I'd ever call my home. The house looked the same. There were three kids playing in the yard and I just sat in the car and watched. I watched as the young mother came running after them. Chasing them in the yard. Making them laugh. I didn't realize I was crying until there was a knock on my window. I jumped and found Nick. What are you doing here? I asked him. He said he followed me. He looked over the hood of the Land Rover and asked if that was the house? I looked over at the house and said yes. The woman had stopped and was staring at us now. Nick said you should go talk to her before she calls the cops. I said why would she call the cops? Nick said because you've been parked her for the past ½ watching her house but she may think you're trying to abduct one of her children. Nick opened my door and walked with me across the street. The woman approached me and asked me if she could help me? I introduced myself to her and then apologized for startling her. I told her my story and why I was here. She invited us into her home. Her children were adorable and followed us all around. The house hadn't changed much at all. The kitchen was the same, the living room. Then she took us up to the bedrooms. I place my hand on my grandparent's door.

Chapter 12

She said I was okay to go inside. I slowly opened the door. The familiar creak of the door brought back so many memories. I smiled, I was never able to sneak up on my grandfather because of that squeak. She laughed, I walked inside and noticed the wall paper was gone. She said it was old and faded and they had it removed and had painted. I just closed my eyes and said their bed used to be over here and grandma's dresser was here. Grandpa's was here, the roll top desk was here. She said was the roll top desk green? I looked at her funny. How did you know? She said it's out in the garage. I almost stopped breathing. She said it was left in the house. No one had ever come for it. She told me I was welcome to take it with me. I said really? She said all it was doing was taking up space in there anyway. I said thank you. I left my grandparent's bedroom, well her bedroom and walked across the hall to the room that used to be mine. I said it's exactly the same. Except I used to have my bed over there. I said I wonder, I went to the window seat and pried up a board. She looked at me funny, but I promised her it was all right. I pulled up the board and pulled out my diary. Well I'll be, she said. I said I forgot all about this. The woman's daughter was standing in the doorway. I told her this was a great place to hide things. So when you get older remember that. The woman said unfortunately they wouldn't be in the house much longer. I looked at her, why not I asked? Her husband was transferred and the house would be going on the market in another month. I almost kissed her, but I controlled myself. I told her that it was too bad, this is a great house. She agreed with me. Nick and I went out to the garage and he helped me load the old desk into my Land Rover. I thanked her for her time, I told her she'd never know how much it meant to me. She said she could see it on my face. I waved good bye to her kids and thanked the woman again. Nick asked if I was hungry as we walked back across the street. I said yes, are you? He said he was starved. Well follow me we'll go to a great restaurant. We drove further into the city until we came to a mom and pop restaurant called Joe's. We went inside and my cousin Mary met me at the door. She said oh my god it's true. I said Nick, meet my cousin Mary. Nick extended his hand and told her it was nice to meet her. She said to follow her. She took us into the closed section of the restaurant. She placed to menus down in front of us and asked us if we wanted anything to drink? I said an iced tea would be nice. Nick said a coke would be nice. She said she'd be back in a minute. Nick and I studied the menus and my cousin came back with our drinks. She said why are you reading the menu, you always get the same thing. Cheeseburger. I laughed well I just thought… I'll take the usual. Nick said make it two. She said they'd be right out and left us alone together. Nick asked if I was mad that he followed me? I said no, I'm glad that you're here. He pulled me close and kissed me. Mary came back and asked if we minded that she sit down with us. I said come on sit. Nick said will you get in trouble? Mary and I laughed. Mary owns the restaurant, besides there isn't anyone alive that could tell Mary what to do anyway. Nick laughed and said he didn't know. I said it's named after Grandpa Joe. I said that reminds me, we went by their house and I talked to the owners. They are putting the house on the market soon. Mary didn't seem to care. I said I'm going to try to buy it back. Mary said what for? It's an old house. Let it go. I said I can't let it go. It's all I have left. I also have grandpa's green desk in my car. Mary asked how I got that? I told her that it was left in the house when they moved in. Someone forgot it there. Now it's mine. She laughed and said she could still remember the day Grandpa painted that desk. He had built it with his own two hands and he asked you what color he should paint it. You said green. Dad said green it is then. You two went out in his old truck, remember that old Ford? I nodded my head and smiled. Those were the days though. Mary got up to get our burgers. Nick asked if I was really going to buy the house? I said I'm going to try. I don't know if I can afford it, but I'm going to try. Mary came back and served our meals and left us alone so that we could eat together. So you really love that house, huh? Nick asked. I said it's all I want. I need to be in that house. I felt my tears well up in my eyes. I said I just can't explain it. Sometimes I feel so alone, and I close my eyes and try to think happy thoughts. My thoughts always take me back to that house. Nick said he had a friend in real estate and he'd call him and have him watch for the listing. He gets advanced warning, and since you're willing to buy the house unseen, well that gives you a jump on the competition. I hugged Nick and asked what would I ever do with out you. I love you. I froze, I said the L word. Nick felt my body tense and he lifted my face to his and said, he'd do anything to make me happy. He kissed me and then my cousin walked in. How are those burgers? Nick and I both said delicious. Mary asked if I was still going to stay with her? I said yes, she looked at Nick are you staying too? Nick said his parent's lived up the street a ways and he'd be staying with them. Mary said 'cause I have more than enough room. Nick said thanks, but I already promised my mom I'd be home. Nick said since we were both up here he wanted me to meet her too. I just swallowed real hard. Sure why not?

Chapter 13

I gave Nick my cousins phone number and kissed Nick good bye as he headed to his parent's house. As soon as Nick was gone Mary started in with the questions. So have you two done the deed yet? Is he good in bed? He must be a great kisser? Tell me Candy, what's it like dating Nick Carter? I just looked at her and cried. What's the matter? She asked me. I said it's so wonderful dating him, it's too good to be true. I filled her in on some of the sweetest things he's done for me. Including following me up here today. She said so have you slept with him yet? I threw my balled up napkin at her. None of your business I said. Mary said that usually means no. She started to clear the dishes away and I dropped a twenty on the table. She told me to put my money away. I said it's a tip for the waitress. She laughed and said put it away. She said to give her about 30 minutes and we'd go home together. Okay, that's fine, but can I have some more diet Coke please? She said she'd be right back. I sat in the booth lost in my thoughts. Mostly about the house becoming available, but also about Nick. He was too good to be true, wasn't he? My cousin asking me if I was going to sit in the booth all weekend disturbed my thoughts. How long have you been sitting here I asked her? She said long enough now let's go. I slid out of the booth and climbed into my Range Rover. She looked at me, why are you driving that big thing? I said I like this big thing. She peeked into the back of the car and I could see how the desk effected her. She said yep, that's dad's desk all right. She walked over to her car and I followed her home. It was almost 5 p.m. now. It only took 10 minutes but she must have called home first because her kids were waiting on the stoop out front for us. When I got out of my car they were all over me. Aunt Candy! Aunt Candy! I loved her kids they were good kids. Of course they wanted presents, I told them after dinner. They helped with my bag without even being asked too. Mary has great kids. Her husband was in the kitchen cooking dinner, the smell of it made me hungry. Mary kissed her husband and asked if she could help? Do you know what he said to her? Go sit down and put your feet up. She should be so lucky, I've never heard of any man saying that. Usually my friend's say as soon as they offer to help their men go and sit down. As if they meant, honey I've been on my feet all day, but you poor baby you've been in the kitchen for 10 minutes, you've had enough you go and sit down and rest you little feet. I have never been in that situation so I can only base it on what I've heard. Anyway, I go into my room and lie down for a little while. I guess the stress from the trip made me tired because I was asleep in no time. I woke around 2 a.m. How embarrassing was that? I was also starving so I went out to the kitchen and helped myself to some left overs. I had just finished eating when I noticed that Nick had called. He left his phone number and there was an address there too. I was wide awake there was no way I was going back to sleep, so I picked up Mary's keys and my own and headed in the direction of Nick's parent's house. I just wanted to see where they lived. I'd lived her for 17 years so I knew the way already. I knew the street, it was where the exclusive homes were. Big mansions as a teenager I used to dream that I'd buy one of those homes for my grandparents. They used to tell me they didn't need all that space, besides this house is Forever Home. I found my way onto the street and drove slowly down the block. I finally found the house. It was huge. It had a massive fountain centered in the circular drive way. There weren't any lights on in the house so I knew no one was awake. I drove to the other side of town and again sat outside Grandma, and Grandpa's house. It was dark too. When my grandparent's lived there the house was never dark. They always left a light on in the living room in case some one woke up in the middle of the night. Grandma never wanted us to be afraid. The upstairs bathroom light was always left on too. I miss her so much. I decided to head down to the ocean, as the sun is beginning to rise. I love it when everything is new. A new sunrise the birds on the shore dancing in the waves. The dolphins stretching in the sea. The early morning joggers. And then the kids, well teen aged kids being dropped off for a fun day at the beach. I looked at my watch again, 7:30 a.m. My cousin is sure to be worried by now. I stood up and look around one last time. It's a little chilly but I'm warm. I head back to my car and head back to my cousin's house. It's now 8 a.m. the kids are up and her husband has gone to work. I walk in the front door and Mary is glad to see me. She told me that Nick is on his way. Why I asked? She said because she woke up at 2:30 a.m. to check on me and I was gone. It's after 8 Candy, where have you been? I apologized as I could see I really upset her. I was just out driving, I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake you're family. I said I better call Nick. I dialed the phone number and a woman answered. I asked to speak to Nick. She said he wasn't here at the moment but she'd take a message. I said this is Candy and I just wanted him to know I'm all right and back at my cousin's house. She said oh thank God, he was so worried Candy. He said something about going to another house first. How long ago was this? About 20 minutes ago she said. Okay, thank you and I'm sorry to have bothered you. She said I was no bother and she was glad I was okay. I hung up just as the doorbell rang.

Chapter 14

I heard Nick's voice as Mary led him in to the kitchen. He just hugged me and asked if I was all right? I said I'm fine, I'm sorry to have worried everyone, next time I'll leave a note. Nick asked where I went? I said just out for a drive, I couldn't sleep. He said you smell like the sea air. I said I made my way down to the beach to watch the sunrise. He said the sun rises in the east. I said I know that! But when the sun rises and kisses the sand and ocean, I love to watch everything come alive. Nick just smiled. He said I smell a song. I just elbowed him and said I was going to take a shower. I headed into my bedroom and gathered clothes for the day. I remembered the gifts for the kids and the CD for Mary. I gave the gifts to Mary's children and apologized for falling asleep. Then I handed Mary her CD. I'll be in the shower. Nick just smiled at me. 10 minutes 15 minutes top, will you wait? He said he'd be here. I was in and out of the shower and dressed in no time. My hair was wet but it would dry fast. I walked out into the kitchen and found Nick massaging Mary's shoulders. What's the matter? Mary had listened to the song and read the dedication and it had effected more than she ever thought. I said I'm sorry that it hurt you. It was just my feelings. She said she loved it, and it just reminds her how much she misses them. It even makes her feel a little closer to them. I hugged her and told her I loved her. My eyes found Nick's and he had a small smile on his lips. He has wonderful lips by the way. I let her go and told her I was starving. Do you have anything to eat around her or do I have to cook it myself? She laughed and asked what I wanted. I don't care, as long as it's hot and fast. We had always said that growing up in Grandma and Grandpa's house. She looked at Nick and asked if he was hungry too? I said he's always hungry. He sat down next to me and said he would have eaten at home had I not disappeared. I apologized again. He kissed me and my nephews started mocking us. Ewwww, gross. That only made me laugh. Mary made Pancakes and we ate them in no time flat. After that we were dropping Mary's boys at a baby-sitter and she and I would spend the day together. Nick said he'd see me later. He said walk me out? I said of course. As he leaned up against his car he pulled me to him. He said I was a little nervous when Mary called me this morning. I thought that maybe you went back to Los Angeles. I'm sorry I followed you and cramped your space. I kissed him and said I'm glad you followed me. It just means more time I get to spend with you. Really he asked? I said Nick, I... I… I love you. I know we've only known each other a few months but I do love you. I don't mean to scare you and you don't have to feel the same way about me, but… He covered my mouth with his lips and then he broke of the kiss and looked me in the eye and said. I love you too Kim. He didn't call me Candy. Which later I realized meant he loved me and not my "professional" image. I said really? He said he's not good with communicating his feelings but he wanted me to know that he loved me, I am in love with you. I kissed him again. He said let's meet back here around 5:30 or so and we'll go watch the sun set together. How romantic I thought? Okay I said with a smile, it's a date. Nick drove off and I went inside to get Mary and her boys. We dropped them off at her husbands' sister's house and we took off on an adventure. We stopped of at the restaurant and packed up some food. We headed up the coast a little ways to a cove we used to go to as children. We spread out a blanket and soaked up some sun. We reminisced about growing up here and the dreams that we had. I followed mine, and Mary, well even though Mary never made it to New York to be a fashion designer, she had a wonderful loving family. She was happy and had no regrets. I loved coming here. Someday I'd love to move back to Santa Barbara. Mary looked at me and said I'd never move back. I told her when I died I wanted my ashes spread here at this cove. She said for goodness sakes, you're only 21 years old. I laughed and said you know what I mean. I fell asleep and Mary woke me for lunch. I was starting to burn and needed more sun block anyway. Around 3:00 we packed up our belongings and went and picked up the boys and drove home. They were not happy to find out we went to the beach. I promised that before I left I would take them. That satisfied them for the moment. I hopped into the shower and got ready for my date with Nick. Nick was early he arrive at quarter to 5. He looked so handsome. He was wearing Levi's and a tank top, but he looked good. He asked me how my day was? I said it was really nice, how was yours? He said lonely. I had to kiss him. He invited me to dinner at his parent's house tomorrow. I said yes, but with reservations. Nick told me not to be afraid. I laughed, he said let's go. We drove down to the ocean where Nick's idea of seeing the sunset was not sitting on the shore, but sitting on a boat. I have never been on a boat like this. Just the ferry back and forth to Catalina. He said its much more romantic watching the sunset this way. He promised not to go out too far. We sailed out and watched the sun set and it was so much more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Nick was wonderful, as always. He had brought a bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers and we toasted our first sunset together. Then he took me home. We sat in his truck for about 30 minutes, kissing and talking. He couldn't wait until tomorrow. I invited him to the beach with us and he accepted.

Chapter 15

Nick arrived the next morning around 9 a.m. We all climbed into two vehicles and headed to our cove. Mary's husband came along too. Nick took the boys scouting for caves and whatever else they could find to amuse themselves. Nick was so much a child himself. He was great with children. After a while the boys went into the water with their father and Nick and I went for a walk. It was so romantic, I told him all about the time spent here as a child. How we used to go in search of buried treasure. How I missed those days. Nick said he wished he could give me back a little of the happiness I lost when my grandparents died. He asked if I ever thought of locating my father? No, I really haven't had the desire too. He's been gone all this time, what would be the point? Nick said that maybe he could help fill that void. You know, maybe you wouldn't feel so alone in the world. I don't know I really don't have time. I start touring in two weeks. He said that's right? Where has the time gone? I just shrugged my shoulders. It has been a great summer hasn't it? Nick stopped walking and pulled me to him, it's because of you. He kissed me and then I felt such a sting of cold. I broke off the kiss and chased after my cousin's boys. They had drenched Nick and I with Cold Ocean water. They were quick but we caught them and we each carried one into the surf and dropped them into the cool water. We stayed until three again and then I went home to rest and shower and get ready for Nick's little dinner party. I knew all about his family, well at least I felt I knew about them. I knew his dad Bob, sometimes drove a bus so that he could spend time with his son on the road. I know Jane, his mother had written two books, one about Nick, I own that one and can quote it almost verbatim. And she also wrote one about Nick's younger brother Aaron. I know that they are supposed to be very close. BJ is 2 years younger than Nick so she should be about 20. Leslie came next, then Angel and Aaron. Aaron has his own solo career and BJ is into acting. Leslie is recording now too. At least that's what I've read about. How much of it is true? I guess I'll find that out tonight. I must have changed my clothes 10 times. Finally I was out of time and settled on a pair of black slacks and a black velour skintight top. My brown hair hung loosely around my face. Mary said I looked beautiful. She was partial, but when Nick walked in the door I knew I looked good. He had the biggest smile on his face. He said I looked beautiful. Mary said I told you so. I could have killed her. Nick asked if I was ready to go? Sure I said, I told Mary I'd be back later and kissed her boys good night. Nick helped me into the truck and kissed me. He said you look so good, then he closed the door and got in behind the wheel. I asked him if I looked all right for his family? He said his family is going to love me. I smiled and then we were off. He laid his hand on my thigh as he drove towards his parent's house and he made small talk. He asked if I was nervous? Of course I am I replied. That just made him laugh. We arrived at his parent's house and the circular driveway was filled with cars. Who did you invite I asked? He said it's just his family. I followed close beside Nick and into the most beautiful house I'd ever seen. I was amazed at the pictures of the family members adorning the walls. Nick pulled me along into the kitchen to where his parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were. Just the family huh, I said? Nick said hello, we're here. They all looked in my direction and got up to welcome me. Nick's grandma Jean said she loved my CD. She's recommending it to all her friends. I just had to laugh. Jane said it was a beautiful song. Nick said I forgot to tell you, they've all heard the CD. Jane had set out some appetizers but I was afraid to eat. I couldn't get over the fact that I was in the Carter household. It was a little overwhelming for me and I asked where the nearest restroom was. I walked into the restroom and sat on the edge of the tub for a few minutes. I heard a knock on the door and then Nick asked if I was all right? I opened the door and invited him in. I sat back down on the edge of the tub and Nick asked what was wrong? I said why am I here? Nick looked confused, he wrinkled up his forehead and said for dinner? I laughed, I said this may sound corny, it may even sound a little over the top, but I used to dream of meeting you and dating you and even marrying you. Now I'm sitting here in your bathroom talking to you, my boyfriend while your family is preparing dinner on the other side of that door. Nick smiled and said did you really dream those things? I said I can't believe I'm here. Nick said there is a reason for everything, with us we were meant to be together. For how long I don't know, but for tonight at least. He said his family doesn't bite, they are actually very friendly. I smiled and he said it was he, I had to watch out for. He bites. I said just kiss me and then I'll be all right. He leaned in and kissed me so passionately that I lost my balance and fell into the tub. Then we had an attack of the giggles. Someone was now banging on the door to get in. It was one of Nick's sisters, I'm not sure which one but Nick told her to go upstairs. He helped me out of the tub and asked if I was all right? I'm fine I said. We headed back into the family room where everyone was chatting. When we entered the room Bob asked if Nick and I would sing our song? I thought I would faint, Nick said it's just my family, in two weeks you'll be performing to sold out venues. But it won't be your family I said. They all laughed and Jane started to play.

Chapter 16

Once we finished the song Nick's family erupted into applause. They thought I was great. After that the rest of the evening was fine. I met Nick's brother and sisters. They were all very close. Jane and Bob have done such a wonderful job raising their kids. Secretly I hoped that I would someday be able to raise my children with as much love and respect as they did. Just when I started feeling really comfortable, the night was over. Nick was going to take me back to my cousin's house. We drove back and I rested my head on his shoulder. I'm sure Nick was uncomfortable driving but I just wanted to be close to him. He asked what time I was leaving tomorrow? I said early, like around 10 a.m. He said he'd follow me back home. I said it's too bad we couldn't drive back in the same car. Nick said it was all my fault. I laughed and said I know. It was almost 11 p.m. and my cousin's house was dark. Nick walked me to the door and kissed me and told me he loved me and that he would see me in the morning. He said if he was late, to please wait for him. I promised him I would. I fell asleep before my head had even hit the pillow. I was exhausted. I slept until 9 a.m. I hadn't meant to do that, but I guess I was more tired than I thought. I finished packing and loading up my car. I was worried about the desk in the back. I really couldn't see that well. Nick showed up with mirror extensions that he got from the u-haul place. That is why he said he might be late. He wanted to know if I wanted to drive his vehicle. He would drive mine. I asked him if he minded? He said no, I said good because I was really worried. I said good bye to everyone and Nick and I headed off towards Los Angeles. 3 ½ hours we were pulling into my driveway. Nick helped me store the desk in my garage for now, until I could make room in my house. This was really the first time we'd been alone all weekend. We had our private time but our families were always expecting us back. Now all that we had to do was call them to let them know we had made it home safely. I called Mary first. I didn't tell her Nick was with me but I did tell her I was tired from the drive. Nick was sitting beside me rubbing my back and kissing my neck. So I wanted to get off the phone really fast. I promised to call her later. I handed Nick the cordless phone but he just threw it on the sofa cushion behind him and laid me back on the sofa. His hands started exploring my body and his lips were all over my face and neck. He looked deep into my eyes and said, "Make love to me." I had feelings raging inside of me that I had never felt before. I led Nick to the bedroom and he removed his shirt. I was a little apprehensive about the whole ordeal. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I had butterflies in my stomach that were trying to fly threw the knots I had in there too. I wanted Nick so bad but, I didn't know what to do. Nick started to remove my clothes and he felt my tenseness. He stopped and asked if I was okay? I just nodded my head and kissed him. He unhooked my bra and laid me back and kissed my breasts. I was shaking but enjoying it all at the same time. Nick slipped out of his pants and removed mine for me. He climbed on top of me and slowly inserted himself inside. I never knew it could hurt so much. I tried to keep an expressionless face. I didn't want him to think I was as inexperienced as I was. What he didn't know was this was my first time. I know a virgin at 21, you don't hear that much but I was always focused on one thing and that was my career. I dated a little but never anything really serious. I was lost in my thoughts when I noticed Nick's face get all twisted up and he started moaning. It scared me a little. I waited for him to stop as he was scaring me. He finally collapsed on top of me and told me I was really good. Whatever that meant. He asked me if I got "it?" I just said yes, so as not to look stupid. He lied next to me facing me and again told me he loved me. He made me smile and I knew that as painful as it was, I'd do it again just to hear those three words. I got up and took a shower and when I came back Nick was all ready asleep on my bed. He looked so peaceful and so handsome. I dressed and went into the living room and called Mary back. I told her I couldn't sleep. She said he boys miss us, Nick and I that is. They really enjoyed Nick I hope that some day he becomes part of the family, she said. I told her I wasn't thinking that far down the line yet. She laughed and asked where Nick was? I said I suspect he's probably sleeping, he seemed pretty tired. She asked if I would see him again today? I said I'm sure of it. Just then Nick came out and laid his head on my lap and went back to sleep as I talked to Mary. I just ran my fingers through his silky blond hair. I made her promise to drive by grandma and grandpa's house and tell me when it went up for sale. She said are you really going to buy it back? I said that house belongs in our family. I have to get it back. The tears started to overflow my eyes. Just the thought of getting that house back flooded my head with memories. I need that house back, I told her. She promised she would watch for the for sale sign and call me immediately. I made sure she had my cell phone number too, as I would be going on tour soon. Her husband was just getting in and they were going to sit down and eat dinner now. I told her I loved her and would be in touch. I hung up the phone and laid my head back and fell asleep with my hands in Nick's beautiful hair. I could get use to this I thought.

Chapter 17

Nick's kisses brought me out of my dream. He had showered, shaved, and was dressed and heading home. I would miss him. I just felt so close to him now. I didn't want him to leave but I knew he had too. I walked him out to his car and kissed him. He said he'd call me later. I watched him back out of my driveway and head into the sunset. The next two weeks passed so quickly. Nick and I had really gotten close. Unbelievably close in this short amount of time. Now it was time for me to go on tour. The last three months that I spent with Nick, I learned to lean on him and depend on him. Now for the next 3 months I'd be without him. It was hard to say goodbye. He promised as soon as his schedule permitted, he would join me on the road for a few shows. That made me feel so much better. In the mean time we would just have to revert back to email and telephone calls. I hid in my bunk the day we pulled away from the studio. Nick and I had spent three days together in my home. I didn't want to leave him. He said he'd be here waiting for me and then he would see me on the road too. I was selfish and wanted more. But I understood and gave him some space. The tour was going really well. Nick calls me all the time and when he can't he makes sure I have an email. Once I even had flowers delivered. I was in constant contact with Mary too. She said no For Sale sign yet. The woman I spoke to said she was selling. Something must have happened I said. Mary promised to find out what was going on. After all they lived in small town. She'd get to the bottom of it. It was mid October when Mary told me the horrible new. Our grandparent's house had been sold. What?! How could that be I asked? She said a friend of a friend told her that it was a private sale between the owners and the buyer. I was devastated. I can't wait anymore. Who's the buyer? Mary didn't know. I emailed Nick and told him the news. I told him I missed him and really needed him. I stayed in my bunk for the next two days. I was up for my concerts but my band knew something was wrong. Nick called me and I was too emotional to talk. He said he was sorry. He knew how much that house meant to me, but after it all it was just a house. All those memories aren't buried in the wood and concrete, they're buried in my heart. So as long as I was breathing all those things were inside of me. He was so sensitive and in tune to me. He was right, I didn't need the house, but I wanted it. I told him I had hoped one day to raise my children there. It was something that I had always dreamed of. He told me he missed me and that he would see me soon. He had some time off at the end of the month. I kind of figured out he would surprise me for my Birthday. I was born on Halloween, and I had a concert in New York that day. I was hoping I'd see him then. I haven't seen him in almost a month. I hung up with him feeling a little better. Nick was right, the memories were within me, not the walls of the house. I called Mary and told her what Nick said. She said he must really care about you. I told her I've never felt this way about another person before. I loved him before I even met him. I know that sounds corny. But it's true. She said she knew how I felt. The next two weeks I was coming out of my shell and gave some of my best performances to date. Nick did surprise me on my birthday. Big time surprised me. I was standing on stage dressed as Wonder Woman when out flew my Batman. He was rigged up on a harness and he flew in to the Batman Theme. I was crying, because first I thought it was a joke. Then he landed and I knew that walk. He strutted over to me and dipped me back and kissed me. The fans went crazy. No one knew who he was. I just hung on to him so tightly. I missed him so much. He kissed me and sat in a chair on the side of the stage. He kept scooting closer and closer with each song. Which made everyone laugh, even me. Finally the band started to play our song and Nick stood up and sang with me. That's when everyone knew who the caped crusader was. Our duet was number one across America. At the end of the night my band surprised me with a birthday cake and everyone sang Happy Birthday. It will be a day I won't soon forget. Is this real I kept asking everyone? Is this really my life? I was crying and laughing, my emotions were unsteady to say the least. Nick led me off stage and kissed me again. He said let's get out of here. I said but look at us? We were both dressed in Halloween costumes, he said it's Halloween who's going to care? He was right, we caught a cab outside the arena and headed to Nick's hotel. Nick had a surprise Birthday party planned. He flew in Mary and her family and friends and some of his family was there. Nick had another cake for me and then he asked me to sit down because he knew the news he was about to give me would floor me. I looked around at people thinking he's going to propose to me? I was excited and nervous. Instead of handing me a ring box he handed me an envelope. I looked at him a little surprised. I opened up the envelope and found the deed to my grandparent's house inside with my name on it. I started shaking and crying and then I just hugged Nick. This can't be happening I said. It can't be happening. No one knew why Nick and I were crying. Everyone was a little nervous wondering what was so upsetting. I held up the deed and told Mary, I got my house! She screamed and then she started crying too.

Chapter 18

After the party when Nick and I were alone I thanked him again for getting me the house. I asked him how much he paid so that I could pay him back. He said it was his gift to me. I told him I couldn't accept a gift that was this expensive. Nick said he wouldn't take my money. I said Nick… please don't do this. He said do what? Don't make the woman he loves happy? I said you do that just fine without spending a dime on me. What's more important is that we're together. He said it was so hard to stay away from me. He wanted to tell me for so long. I said how long? He said remember that morning when we drove back from you sisters? I said yes. He said remember I said I might be late? Yes, he said he went and talked to the woman and her husband and asked them to sell the house to him. He said he told them he wouldn't haggle with the price, they tell him how much and he'd pay directly to them. Nick told the husband and wife my story and they were touched by Nick's devotion to me and they agreed. I said all this time you've owned that house? Nick said no all this time you've owned that house. I just want to climb inside of you. Do you know how much I love you? Nick said why don't you show me. I said all right. I started to remove my costume, there wasn't much to remove either. I helped him out of his skintight Batman outfit. Since he hasn't been touring he's put on a little weight and he was a little self-conscious about it. I told him I loved him no matter what, and I would want him no matter what size he was. Then I showed him how much I loved him. We made up for lost time. The pain was gone but I was still a little inexperienced, as this was only my second time. Nick was a pro though. He had all the right moves. We fell asleep in each other's arms. I woke up to Nick's touch and the heat of his breath on my face. Without even opening my eyes I found his lips and we made love again. I love you Nick. Do you know that? He said he knew he felt the same way about me. It was raining in New York, it gave us more of a reason to stay inside. It was finally November, the half way point of my tour. I'd finish up just before the Holiday. Nick asked what I wanted to do for the Holiday? I said spend it in my new home. My tears came flooding back with the promise that I would once again sleep under the roof of the only "home" I'd ever known. Nick said "Forever Home." I said I've lived in a few homes. Apartments and then the house in Manhattan Beach, but it was never home. Nick said he knew what I meant. Since he moved to California he misses a lot of things about Florida. His home is one of them. We cuddled all day just watching television and being close. That's all that mattered to us. I had one more concert tonight and then I was off for three days we were to head down to Washington DC for two shows on in North Carolina and three in Florida. Nick would stay with me for the rest of the tour. He agreed to sing our song with me at the rest of the stops. Nick and I headed over to the Arena and I was surprised at the number of people waiting for us. Apparently the news that Nick was in town had gotten out. I signed some autographs and Nick signed some too. We went to go inside when this little girl caught my eye. She was crying no she was weeping. I walked over to her and asked her what was wrong? She told me that she was just like me. I just looked at her and smiled. What do you mean I asked her? She said she had no parent's either and hoped to one day become a singer too. She asked for my autograph. I asked her for her name. She said she didn't like her name, people call her Jo, but her real name is Thelma. My heart stopped and Nick just squeezed my hand. I asked her if she was here with anyone? She said he Aunt Debbie. I said where is she? Jo turned around and motioned for her Aunt Debbie to come forward. Aunt Debbie was very emotional too. She told me that Jo adores me and wants to be just like me. I looked at Nick and Nick lifted the barrier and told them both to follow us. I noticed Jo started to become more emotional. The security staff tried to hassle us but Nick said we had left their backstage passes in my dressing room. So they let us pass. We found them two passes and Jo and Debbie stayed with us while we went through our warm up. They even had dinner with Nick and I. We went back to the dressing room and Jo began to tell me about her situation. Her parents were killed in an automobile accident when she was 3. She appeared to be about 12 or 13. Aunt Debbie has raised her for all these years. Like me she has no memory of her parents. Aunt Debbie has been scraping up every dime to try to fulfill Jo's dreams of becoming a singer. She takes singing and dancing lessons Debbie said. She knows all your songs too. I looked at Jo and said which one is your favorite? She said "Come on over." It's a funky pop song. It's one of my favorites too I said. Nick asked her to sing with me. She was really nervous but Nick quickly reminded her that if she wanted to make it in this business she couldn't hold back like this. I started to sing the song and the most angelic voice joined me. I was surprised! Nick and I just looked at each other. She needs to be heard I said to him. Nick said I got an idea. We put our plan into motion and I got ready for the show. Debbie and Jo were moved into the front row. Jo had no idea what we had planned for her. It would hopefully be a day she would never forget.

Chapter 19

I opened my show and Nick and I sang our duet. After that I started coughing and drinking lots of water. Nick went down into the audience and the crowd went wild. He pulled Jo up on stage and I said everyone, this is my friend Jo! She's going to help me sing this next song. I have a frog in my throat or something. Jo looked at me scared. I said she is someone you all need to watch for. I think she's going to impact your life as much as she's impacted mine in the short amount of time I've known her. The music started to Come on Over and I started it but then let Jo take over. The crowd was stunned to silence that this little tiny girl could have such a powerful soulful voice escape her. Aunt Debbie was overcome with so much emotion. Jo held on to my hand and we finished the song together. We were all crying at the end. The fans were great. They gave Jo her very first, but little did we know at the time her last standing ovation. After the concert I talked to Debbie and told her I was going to call my manager, I felt that Jo had talent and I… she wouldn't let me finish. She was shaking her head. I said why not? Isn't this what she's been working for? Debbie said it's a dream but… I said my career started with a dream now look at me. Debbie said but you don't have Leukemia you don't have less than 6 months to live. My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor. It was if she slugged me. What? Debbie said you had to have noticed how thin and pale she is. I said I did but… She said that's not her hair, it's a wig. I couldn't stop crying. Please stop I cried. Debbie said she was here on behalf of the make a wish foundation. She wanted to see me in concert. She especially loves the song Forever Home. She said it reminds her of heaven and where she will someday be with her mother and father again. Nick walked in and saw me sitting on the floor crying. Jo ran out of the room because she knew her Aunt Debbie had told. Debbie ran after her and I told Nick all about her. Nick couldn't believe it. Debbie returned with Jo and I just hugged her. Jo said don't feel sorry for me. I'm so angry with my aunt for telling you. For the first time in a long time I forgot I had Leukemia. Please don't feel sorry for me. I just hugged her again and told her that I just wish I had known her longer. She smiled and said she still has time. I asked her how she felt? She said good enough to do this again. I smiled and then Nick left to make the arrangements. Debbie and Jo stayed with us for the rest of the tour. They lived in Seattle so it wasn't too far from California. An hour and a half by airplane. My tour concluded and the entertainment circles were constantly asking who was this Jo person? Would we ever see her again? By the end of the tour Jo was pretty worn out. She went out every night and sang Come on over with me. She amazed them every night. The last night of the tour, she sang Forever Home with Nick. Nick and I flew back to California and started the renovation on my house in Santa Barbara. I kept in close contact with Jo and Aunt Debbie. Nick and I went up to see her a few more times. Jo died of Leukemia the day after Thanksgiving. I never knew that the death of someone that I really didn't know all that well, would affect me so deeply. I didn't even know her favorite color or what she liked to do other than sing. Aunt Debbie asked if Nick and I would sing "Forever Home" at her funeral. Of course we agreed. We flew up the Saturday after Thanksgiving to bury Jo. Aunt Debbie was exhausted and very emotional. She said all she's ever known was being a mother to Jo. Now she's gone and she has nothing. I said you have her in your heart. She's in mine too. I'll never forget her. Aunt Debbie showed me Jo's bedroom. Not only did she have posters on her walls of me, but she had the letters I had written to her on her wall in frames too. I never realized how much I had affected her life. Debbie gave me a doll of Jo's. It was her favorite and she slept with it all the time. I said I couldn't take it. Debbie said she should have been dead weeks ago. She lived because you gave her life. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Nick came in and said it was time to go. We headed to the funeral, all of us in tears. Nick just held my hand and promised the pain would ease some day. This little girl had touched many people in short time here on earth. Debbie eulogized her. She was her angel. She was her reason for getting up in the morning, she didn't know how she was going to go on without Jo. Then Nick and I got up to sing "Forever Home." It would be the last time I ever sang that song live again. I flew back to Santa Barbara with Nick but somehow renovating this house didn't seem so important anymore. I told Nick that I felt a part of me died with Jo. I even felt a little jealous of her. Nick was a little shocked, jealous? What was there to be jealous of? I said she's back with her mom and dad. I just started crying again. It's amazing how religious people become after going through a tragic loss. I found myself wondering why God sent her into my life? Why did Jo like me so much that out of anyone she would pick going to my concert her last wish? She didn't even ask to meet me. She just wanted to attend a concert. She was so unselfish. Nick and I sat down a wrote a song about her.

Chapter 20

You came into our lives so unexpectedly,

You touched our hearts so magically,

Then just like that you were gone,

Where have you gone?

Where have you gone?

Just to see your smile or hear your voice,

Would mean all the world to me,

You came into our lives so secretly,

And left so tragically.

Where have you gone?

Where have you gone?

It wasn't long before the newspapers had picked up the story. Everywhere we looked we were reminded of Jo. Nick and I were hounded as we refused interview after interview. We agreed to do one interview. We decided to do it with Rosie O'Donnell, as she was a heroine to childrens charities. We flew to New York just before Christmas and as we talked about Jo we noticed not a dry eye in the house. The biggest crier the host herself. Nick mentioned that we were working on a joint venture, meaning he and I, and we had Jo singing a few songs on tape and we were having them digitally mastered to improve the sound quality, but that should all be fine after it's redone. All of the proceeds, and I mean all of the proceeds are going to Cancer Research in Jo's name. She impacted so many people in her short stay here with us and we won't soon forget her. We played a tape of one of Jo's performances at one of my concerts. We even had Aunt Debbie with us in Rosie's studio and she broke down. We shared some of our personal video's we'd taken on my bus and at Disney World. It had never occurred to us before, but looking at Jo now I could see how sick she was. But her eyes, her eyes were alive and vibrant. During a commercial break Aunt Debbie was brought up onto the stage and was able to share more about Jo. Baby pictures, and some home movies. Then the hospital pictures and then finally the tape of Nick and I singing at her funeral. Nick just hugged me as I bawled on national television. I needed him in my life so badly. If I ever lost him I don't know what I would do. Rosie's mascara was running down her face and during the commercials her makeup person had to come out and wipe it off. A few weeks later we would find it was one of her highest ratings shows of all time. A lot of companies agreed to match what we raised including Rosie herself. The outpouring of help offered to Aunt Debbie was overwhelming. She had been given a new car and her home was paid for. She was receiving job offers and all sorts of gifts. She accepted most of them in the name of her niece and donated them all for auction to raise more money for Cancer research. She kept the car and accepted a job offer in the pediatric care unit taking care of sick children. She was a nurse but hasn't been working since Jo was diagnosed a year ago. Aunt Debbie has always said she believes Jo is in a better place, it just doesn't mean she is. She misses her niece terribly. Working at the hospital though helps. Nick and I finally got my house renovated mid spring. I sold my home in Manhattan Beach and moved up to my grandparent's home. I had it modernized a little bit. I had a new Air conditioning and heating unit installed as well as a dishwasher. Nick didn't especially like that I moved so far away from the city. I said move in with me here. He said what are you asking of me? I said we've known each other for almost a year and I can't imagine you not with me. So I'm asking you to marry me. Nick said I thought that the man was supposed to ask? I said don't make fun of the situation Nick. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to raise our children here. We already make a great team. Jo's album is a huge success, without you I can't imagine what would have happened. He said are you sure you want to do this? I told Nick I loved him and I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it. So Nick awkwardly accepted my proposal of marriage. We called our families. They were not surprised that we would be getting married, but they were surprised that I had proposed to Nick instead of Nick proposing to me. They always knew that we would get married. Nick and I stayed in Santa Barbara most of the time and when we needed to be in the city we stayed in his home in Malibu. I was recording another album and the Backstreet Boys were going on tour again. I was to try my hand at international touring next. 2 months in Europe while Nick and the Backstreet Boys toured the US. This would be a true test. We wouldn't be able to see each other for two whole months. Nick was working and I was working. Thank God for Email!

Chapter 21

I made my first video for Come on Over. It was a beautiful treatment that Nick came up with actually. We featured Jo in it as an angel and she was calling me over to her side. It was beautiful. It's too bad he couldn't be with me to shoot it. It took all day but it was well worth it. The next day I was on a flight to London. While I toured all of Europe, Nick and the Backstreet Boys toured all over the US. We emailed each other everyday. I loved London and Spain. They were my two favorite place to go. The people of Madrid were exceptionally nice. I got to go to Italy and Amsterdam. The Netherlands were beautiful. Austria was such a romantic country. I love Vienna. Meanwhile Nick was telling me stories about the countries he'd been too. If I had time he wanted me to go see this and that. I missed him so much. He called me just before a show one day. He told me it's been too long and he had to hear my voice. He even went out and bought my CD. He made me smile. I miss you too Nick. Two more weeks and I'll be home. My time spent in Europe was very busy. Not only was I touring but I was also being marketed heavily. I had photo shoot after photo shoot, and interview after interview. Every time I sat down I was asked about Nick. Every time I told them we were business partners. Nick and I longed for our privacy but we realized that in our line of work some sacrifices have to be made. So until we are married, mums the word. Jo was also asked about. It was getting easier to talk about her again. Instead of crying I was remembering the happy times.

I think about you everyday,

The things you used to do and say,

Why can't things be that way?

Where have you gone?

Oh, where have you gone?

It seems just like yesterday

You walked into my life,

I know that you have been gone a year,

But I still want you here.

Where have you gone?

Oh Jo, where have you gone?

The song was almost as popular as "Forever Home." Whenever I sang "Where have you Gone" I had clips of Jo played overhead. Even perfect strangers in a foreign country knew of Jo. As I look out into a see of fans I see signs we love you Jo! We miss you Jo! It's funny how a little girl could be known half a world away. When I sing "Forever Home" I have pictures of my mother and grandparents, as well as Jo shown above me on the overhead screen too. I sometimes turn to watch the clips. It just makes me feel so much closer to them. At the end of the clip is a shot of Nick and I. The audience always goes wild when they see that. It a nice way to pick things back up again. One more week, I'm very tired I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again. I can't wait to see Nick. The plan is for me to meet him in Miami for the last of his two concerts. I couldn't wait to get there. My last stop on the tour was Italy. I love Italy, it's so romantic. I learned a few words of greeting, but I didn't use them, as I was afraid of offending someone. They were very receptive to me. A lot of them cried when I sang "Where have you gone?" The pictures were not being showed clearly so I stopped the show. I actually stopped the show so that they could fix the projector. My promoters were really glad I did that. I kept the fans entertained by talking about different things. I answered a few questions. Someone asked if I was really dating Nick Carter. I said yes but it's a secret so don't tell anyone. The arena went wild. A few people asked about Aunt Debbie and if I still kept in touch with her. I still talk with Debbie. She's gone back to school and had a wing dedicated to the memory of her niece in a prominent Hospital in Seattle Washington. Great things are happening for her. She's engaged to be married and she's happy. Just then the band started playing the introduction to my song. Okay, if the band is ready we'll start this again. They all applauded. The projector worked just fine. It was a wonderful and very personal concert for me. It was also being taped for PPV so I had to look good, but it all came straight from the heart. We packed it in and I flew to Miami the next day to be with Nick. It had been two of the longest months of my life. Nick was in concert but he sent a car to pick me up with an apology that he couldn't be there himself. I was taken to the arena and escorted back stage. I was given my backstage pass and then I headed out onto the arena floor. I cried when I saw him.

Chapter 22

I walked around where I knew he could see me. He dropped his hat when he saw me. He picked it up and waved to me. He looked so good. He had slimmed down quite a bit from his work out up on stage. Not that he was ever fat. He was just toned now. His hair was longer and the overwhelming desire I had to rub my hands through his hair was indescribable. He kept pointing to the floor of his stage. The bodyguard said he wants you under the stage. I just smiled. I knew they had a whole network of people under there but when he said he wanted me under the stage only one thing came to mind. I followed the bodyguard and waited for Nick's costume change. He was the first off the stage. He was so glad to see me. He changed his close as fast as he could and then he said he had something for me. He said I know that you proposed to me but I thought that it would be okay to get this for you. Then he opened a ring box and placed an engagement ring on my finger. I kissed him like there was no tomorrow. He had to go though. I told him I'd be waiting for him right here. I watched him on the monitor. He was having a great time out there. He kept yelling I love you! I knew he was yelling it for me, but the crowd assumed it was for them. He came down for his next costume change and asked me if I heard him. I said I love you too baby. He kissed my hand and then my lips and he was off again. He took a bottle of water I was drinking up with him. They were at the end of the show so it wouldn't be long now before he would be back for good. I watched them on the monitor and when they took their final bow Nick's assistant stood with his sweat jacket and I said I'd give it to him. I smelled the jacket. It smelled just like Nick. I missed him so terribly that when he came down for the last time and saw the tears in my eyes he knew why. Let's get out of here he said. He said what ever you do don't stop. He led me by the hand out from underneath the stage and out to the waiting limousine. Brian and Kevin were right behind us. Howie followed and AJ stayed behind to get on the band's bus. Brian's fiancee Jenny was waiting in the limousine for him. She had the routine down. We headed for the hotel that was already crowded with fans. When they saw me they started calling out my name too. I signed a few autographs and they all asked about Aunt Debbie. I said she was doing great. We made our way inside and Nick said he heard someone say That's Candy! He laughed, they're out there for us and they notice you. I asked him if he was jealous? He said no, he was happy that I was back. He saw the PPV concert and he said he missed me so much during the intimate time with the fans. He said it was as if I was holding a personal conversation with someone and he was sitting close by. He had taped it so he played it back again with his eyes closed and it was as if I was in the room with him. We got into the room and I asked him if he was going to talk to me all night or what? He stripped out of his clothes and started to head to the shower. I said don't bother and I brought him to the bed. I needed him and I needed him right now. I missed his touch and his kiss and I hated to be away from him for so long. I needed to feel him against my body. We hung the do not disturb sign on the door but that did not dissuade AJ in the least. He talked the housekeeper into opening the door to our suite and he and the rest of the fellas barged into our room. Nick grabbed for the blankets. I must have change three shades of Red as I was on top at the time. AJ just fell out laughing and they all sat on the bed and casually asked what we were doing? I had the blankets over my head. Nick said leave and then he got under the covers and mounted me again. They all left once they realized we were not going to be acknowledging them anymore. But I couldn't believe Nick did that. I had the giggles for about 15 minutes, so did Nick. He said he waited 2 months and he couldn't wait anymore. 2 hours later we headed out into the living room area only to find they had all started their own party while we were making love in the bedroom. We walked out and they all asked if we felt better? They welcomed me back home and congratulated me on a successful tour abroad. They had all seen the PPV tape and were really proud of me. Proud, I asked? They thought of me as a sister. Well, not Nick anyway. I thanked them for their support. While I was overseas they had volunteered my services for a fund-raiser for Aunt Debbie's hospital. The BSB, and myself and about 10 other acts from Jive would be donating their services. All proceeds would go to the Thelma Joanne Jensen Foundation. Of course I would do it I told Brian. He said it would be May 20th. Nick saw the video and loved it. The video treatment he came up with for "Come on Over," he thought it was beautiful. I owe it all to you, I said. Kevin asked when the wedding was going to take place? I said I'm working on something for this summer. Nick just smiled and said I know that look, you're up to something. I said yes I am, and you will like it. I promise you that much. He said that as long as it involved me he'd love it. He kissed me and then we went back into the bedroom this time locking the door behind us. We didn't come out again until the next morning. Nick and I took off to the beach and enjoyed some free time alone. He had one more show and then tomorrow we'd head back to Santa Barbara. Of course the show was a complete and successful end to another tour. We both had some much needed time off and I was ready to plan the most elaborate wedding we'd ever see in our lifetime.

Chapter 23

We flew back to Santa Barbara and sent our clothes off to the cleaners and washed everything else. We hooked up with our families since we hadn't seen them in such a long time. I was actually making money now. If I wanted too I could have my family member's tour with me too, but Mary was all I had. My grandparent's had other children but we weren't as close as Mary and I were. So for now I'd go alone or with Nick. While Nick was at his parent's house one day I called Max. I explained to him what I wanted to do for my wedding and I promised I'd pay for everything, but he insisted on doing this for Nick and I. I told him I could never thank him enough for introducing us in the first place. Now that I had the ball rolling I could relax and attend to other things. I began the search for the perfect dress. The bridesmaids and coordinating things with Max took a lot of my time. On May 15th we flew to Seattle to prepare for the charity fund-raiser event. There were many acts there. I was surprised that even BSB competition even showed up. N'Sync, Britney Spears, LFO, and many more. They all turned out in honor of Jo. It was an emotional week. We raised nearly two million dollars. That same weekend Nick and I attended the wedding of Aunt Debbie. She was happy and at peace. Nick and I returned to Santa Barbara and then the invitation to Max's Masquerade party arrived. Nick didn't want to go but I insisted we go. It was a year ago that we met at Max's, it was the least we could do. Besides, I told him I was going with or without him. He said he didn't want to share me with anyone. I didn't want to share him with anyone either, but we could sneak away during the day. He agreed to finally go, even though he knew Max would never let us see each other until the weekend. We packed for the week and drove down to Max's. Little did Nick know that on the weekend he'd be married. Max played it down, everyone knew what would be happening. Nick was the only one who didn't know. Max had a bunch of friend's pose as guests but it was just the wedding party as the main characters. Mary was here and Nick's sisters and brother was here. Nick's parents would come down on Saturday morning for the Saturday Evening Black Tie Affair. The first night we went as what else, Batman and Wonder Woman. We were paired together that first night. The rest of the week we never saw each other. We played the email game. Nick was lonely and some of the people he was paired with were extremely boring he said. He wanted me to tell him which room I was in but I wouldn't. He asked if I had left early from any of my dates. No, I said. I was having a wonderful time. What he didn't know was I wasn't even attending the Masquerade Party. I only showed up that first night. The rest of the week was spent decorating another banquet room for my wedding. It was a room that opened up onto Max's back lawn. It was a beautiful home with the Ocean in the background. The week was the busiest in my life. The preparations have all come down to this day. I had my dress, I had the minister. I had our families here. Nick was here. Nothing could go wrong now. We continued to play out the week. Max arranged it so that Nick could see me but I wouldn't know when or where. Nick left a couple of times during the week I found out but he always came back. Brian and Kevin would keep emailing me telling me how miserable Nick was. We had just spent two months apart and now we were separated again. He could be so dramatic sometimes. Thursday night we almost got caught. We were a little loud in the banquet room handing decorations and singing songs that when Nick snuck out for the third time this week, he followed the music. Luckily for me I was no where in sight and Nick didn't get a chance to see the room. Max stopped him before he opened the door. Max said that the people in that room were getting ready for the ultimate party for Saturday night. He said don't spoil it for yourself. Go back to the party or up to your room. He did as he was told and Max came through the door and I just held my breath. Max told us to quiet down. I was so relieved that Nick didn't find out. I would have been devastated. He was dressed as Snoopy tonight. I would have loved to have seen that. We were getting so close that I was getting nervous. I made my way back to my room. I was surprised to find Nick wandering the halls. I was glad to see him but I couldn't let him in my room. My dress was out. He begged me to let him in. I told him my costume for the party was out and I didn't want him to know who I would be. He said he didn't care. He backed me up against the wall and kissed me. He said he missed me. He was so horny he was going to explode. I begged him to wait just two more days. He said you might as well ask me to wait another two months and then he stormed off. I called after him but he wouldn't come back. I went into my room and emailed him my apologies. He never emailed me back. I went to bed and the next morning I checked my email, Kevin asked what had happened? Nick wanted to leave. He said not to worry they had all convinced him to stay, but this was trying his patience. I immediately emailed Max. He set it up so that Nick and I would be paired together again. We were dressed as Fred and Wilma Flintstone. As soon as I saw Nick I knew he was glad it was me, but he couldn't stand this game any longer.

Chapter 24

We headed outside to one of the bungalows and made love there. I told him I loved him with all of my heart and soul. I hoped he knew that. I told him after tomorrow we would never be separated again. He said he wanted to stay out here in the bungalow with me all night. So we did, it was magical. We could hear the crashing of the waves below us. Max's house sat high on a cliff in the night the sound echoes up to us. We woke to an abundance of activity. Nick said it has to do with tonight. Max is really going all out. He's making all of us guys wear tuxedos. I said its just one more night, don't worry about it. I kissed him goodnight and headed to my room. I took a shower and a nap. Nick's parents were arriving today and so were Debbie and her husband Joseph. We would give Nick the surprise of his life. The guys were going to blind fold Nick and once they got him at the altar they would remove the blind fold and let him in on the surprise. The day was beautiful, it was 85 degrees and we had a really nice ocean breeze. Around 4 p.m. I started getting ready. By five O'clock I was getting anxious. At 5:30 Nick was blind folded, something that infuriated him. He's such a baby. Once they got him into place and he saw his family and the wedding decorations he cried. He actually cried. We had pulled it off. With Brian at his side as Best man. The Groomsmen and Bridesmaids already in place. All that was left was for me to enter the room. Max would walk me down the aisle. The door swung open and the pianist played the wedding march. I cried when I saw Nick. Our family and friends there to support us, I was so in love with this man. As we neared the altar I noticed Nick's tears. That just made me cry harder. I stepped up to Nick and asked if he was surprised? He kissed me and told me it was the greatest gift he's ever received. 20 minutes later we were pronounced man and wife. Nick dipped me back and kissed me. He surprised me and everyone laughed. He said he got me back. We walked back up the aisle and waited as the guests were escorted out the side door and Nick and I posed for pictures. Nick asked me if I was happy? I said I am, are you? He said he's never love anyone so much. We attended our reception and had a grand time. Nick and I decided to fly to Europe. We stopped off in New York for a night. Nick wanted to show me the sunrise before heading to Europe. We had never seen the sunrise out of the ocean before. It was so romantic. We toured all through Europe and 2 weeks later returned home. We had tons of gifts and thank you notes to fill out. Nothing brought me more joy than to finally call Nick my husband. We got back to work right away. I needed another album, I couldn't lie dormant forever. The Backstreet Boys were filming another video for another song off of their latest album. I was busy writing and recording. I was about to go on tour again that fall when we found out I was pregnant. Nick was overjoyed, we would finally get our dream. I went on my tour, Nick beside me the entire time. The two months dragged, as I was plagued with awful morning sickness. Only I had it all day. The tour finally ended, it was a small tour of only 20 cities. 90 days. We got back to Santa Barbara and coasted through the rest of my pregnancy. Our child was due the first week of June. The holidays came and went. Nick came and went. He had to fulfill some previous commitments. He wasn't happy to do it either. We'd become so lazy. Nick had me hooked on Nintendo. We never really left the house except for our walks. I had to keep in shape. So far I was doing really well, I'd only gained 17 pounds. I had 2 months to go. Nick made sure that nothing was planned for the first week of June. He moved everything to the second week. Wouldn't you know it, I was late. Nick was freaking out. Each time he headed out of town he begged me not to have the baby. I told him I couldn't promise him that, but I'd trying reasoning with the baby. We decided not to know the birth of the child. It was going to be yet another surprise. I knew Nick wanted a son, although he never mentioned the sex of the baby I think deep down inside he was hoping for a boy. I'm sure he'd be happy if it was a girl too though. Well on June 10th, Nick wasn't home but 10 minutes when my water broke. We headed to the hospital and our son was born 8 hours later. I had a husband whom I adored and I had my career. I was back in the only home I had ever known, and now I held my son. How could things get any better? Nick and I had recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary and then topped it off by having a son a week later. Nick and I laid on the hospital bed with our son lying between us. What should we call him I asked? He said how about Joseph? After your grandfather. I said I'd rather name him after his father. You've given me everything else, let me give this one thing to you. Nickolas Gene Carter II. And so it was.