My Heart Stays with You

Chapter 1

"Okay ma'am, where are you going?" "Orlando International please." I wiped my tears and asked the taxi driver to give me just one more minute. "Take your time lady, the meter's running." I took a last look at the house Nick and I shared. It was over, my heart was broken and it couldn't be fixed. I stared at the empty house across the street which used to be long to my very best friend. It was empty now, she was gone.

Flashback...

"Hey Kim I'll race you to the bus stop," Annie called to me and then darted off. "Hey wait..." I grabbed my backpack and followed right behind her. She beat me, but only because she cheated. Annie Taylor was my very best friend in the whole world. We were only in the fifth grade but I've known her my entire life. She is the coolest person I know. We do everything together. The bus pulls up in front of us and Annie cuts to the front of the line. Taking our regular seats in the back of the bus we start copying each other's homework. Annie is better in math than I am and I'm better in English than she is. So we correct each other's work on the way. We have home room together so we're always together. We both love sports and are very competitive. After school we usually hang out at my house. I'm an only child and Annie has four brothers and sisters. We have a lot more privacy at my house. My parent's own a family restaurant and work long hours so it's usually just the two of us.

End of Flashback

"I miss you Annie," I say as I climb into the cab. I wipe more tears from my eyes as I realize this was the end of my life. Everything I'd ever know was in Florida. It signified pain for me now. I had to get away. Far away, as far as I could go. The cab driver started making small talk but he soon stopped as he realized I wasn't paying attention. I passed my parent's old diner. They were gone now too.

Chapter 2

Flashback

Annie's horn is blaring it's time for school. I run outside to the familiar Black Jeep and she asks, "what's taking so long?" "I'm hear you're early so chill out!" She laughs then blares the radio really loud. We are Seniors in High School. We're getting ready for our Senior Prom. It's tomorrow night. We park in the Senior parking lot at the high school and make our way to Senior Square. David and Jeremy are waiting for us. David and Annie have been dating for almost 3 years. Jeremy and I for a little over a year. Everyone is so sure that Annie and David will get married. We head to Senior studies for first period. All of our seats are together Annie and I are side by side and our boyfriends are right behind us. The only topic is the Senior Prom. We are really excited. It signifies that school is almost at an end. Mr. Simon gives up as he has lost total control of the class. No one is paying attention to him. He declares a free period. Annie and I had shopped for a dresses together. She thought green was an awesome color on me because of my dark hair and Emerald green eyes. "The dress just makes your eyes come alive." Jeremey said, "I thought I did that." We all laughed. The bell rang for the next period and we split up after that. At the end of the day we made our plans regarding what we'd do tonight and Annie and I went home. We had to work until 9 p.m. at my families diner. We were waitresses there. The tips were good and so was the food. We only worked four hours a day. My parents cared a lot about Annie and wanted to teach us both the value of a dollar. I changed quickly and drove over to Annie's house. That's when I saw the ambulance. Annie had a seizure. No one knew why it happened but she was being transported to Orlando General Hospital. I followed the ambulance to the emergency room and waited anxiously for her parents to come out and tell me what was going on. That's when I realized that I hadn't called my parents yet. I found a pay phone and they closed up the restaurant. Annie was family and they wanted to be here. Annie was fine, they wanted to keep her for observation but she refused. I convinced her to stay. I was scared for her. The doctors let me stay with her. I climbed into the hospital bed with her and we slept like that. The next morning the doctors released her. She would have to undergo more tests though to try and find out why this happened. "After the Prom. That's all I've been thinking about for the past 2 months." I drove her back to my house. Her parents wanted her home but she wanted to be left alone.

Chapter 3

We went to the prom and had a great time. We eventually went on and graduated high school together. Annie and I decided that we wouldn't go to college right away. We wanted to take a year off and travel. Jeremy and I broke up, he moved away to attend College in California somewhere. Annie was right there to hold me up. David and Annie were still going strong. That summer Annie and I went backpacking through Europe. It was the best time I ever had.

End Flashback...

"The traffic was a mess, I'm going to miss my flight. Then what would I do?" I couldn't stand to be in this state for another minute. The radio was airing an advertisement for Europe. Cheap fares, no restrictions. That made me think of Annie again.

Flashback...

We deplaned in London's Heathrow airport. Neither one of us had ever been out of Florida never mind the United States. We had planned this trip for months though. For the next three months we'd cover 6 countries. Backpacking it all the way. Staying in youth hostiles all the way. We promised our parents we'd be home by Christmas. We hit England, Ireland, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, and Italy. We learned some phrases here and there. And shipped a lot of stuff home. We couldn't carry much. Damn, that was the best summer I ever had.

End Flashback...

We still haven't moved. I called the airline to check on my flight. It was leaving on time. "What if I don't make it I asked the agent?" "There's nothing until morning," he said. My flight leaves in 20 minutes. I ask the cab driver to take me to a hotel by the airport and I tell the agent to rebook my flight for me. My tears betray me again, I've got to get out of here. It brings back a painful memory.

Flashback...

We were in Italy and we had just been mugged. We were due to stay another week but I had to get home. I was tired of walking and tired of traveling. I missed my bed. We had one chance of getting out of this country and it leaves in 4 hours. We start heading to the airport and there is some strike going on with the public transportation system. The cab drops us off downtown and we beg and plead him to take us the rest of the way. He can't break the strike. It would mean his job, maybe even his life. I was panicing but not Annie. She stood with her thumb out and waited for someone to stop. I begged her not to do it but she said, "if we missed this flight we'll be here another week." We passed on two cars that stopped. They just didn't look honest enough for us. Finally, an old couple stopped and said they were going to the airport to pick up their children and would love to give us a ride. I questioned Annie with my eyes but she said, "get in Kim, we're going. We only have 3 hours left." We settled into the backseat of the car and answered the questions of the polite older couple. They asked where we'd been and we're we were going? Finally we were at the airport. I washed up and got checked in. We were flying standby due to the lack of availablity and our tickets weren't for another week. We were told the flight was wide open so we didn't worry. We got on and I cried once I knew Annie was asleep. Or at least I thought she was asleep. She reached over and held my hand. She promised to always be here for me, no matter what.

End Flashback...

Chapter 4

The cab pulled up in front of the Marriott, he said, "is this okay lady?" I said fine. I paid the fare and went inside and checked in to a room. I asked for a wake up call at 7 and a van to the airport at 8. I headed up to my room and flung myself onto the bed. "She promised she'd always be here for me." She wasn't here for me. No one was. I called Nick, even though our relationship was over I knew he'd worry if he didn't know my plans had changed and I didn't tell him. He picked up on the third ring. "Hi baby, what's wrong?" "I missed my flight and I'm staying one more night in Florida." "Do you need me to pick you up?" "No, I'm at the Marriott. I'm confirmed on the 10 a.m. to Los Angeles tomorrow morning." "Please come home Kim, I love you. We can make this work. We'll move I'll do anything." "Nick..." my tears streaming down my face. "I can't ..." "If I could bring Annie back or trade places with her I'd do that for you. I love you Kim, please come home. Come back to me." "I'm tired, I'll call you when I get to Los Angeles." "Don't go. I need you. We are perfect for each other. Why do you have to go? What have I done?" "Nick it's not you, you know it's not you. When Annie died, I died too. I can't explain it. I died too." I hung up the phone. I climbed into the shower and allowed the water to mix with my tears. It was still early but I climbed into bed and went to sleep. I had called the front desk and asked for all of my calls to be held. I didn't want to be disturbed.

Flashback...

David had just left the diner when I noticed I had a new down, as we called it. I went to the table and noticed a handsome tall blonde man sitting with another guy. They seemed to be brothers but I wasn't sure. The older one said, "well hello and what is your name sweetheart?" Gag, I thought. I pointed to my name badge and he said "Hi Kim." "Have you decided yet or not?" He called me sweetheart again and I nearly blew my stack. "If you don't mind I have a name. It's Kim and I'd appreciate it if you would use it. Thank you, I'll be back in a minute." When I returned he apologized and called me by my name. I went back and complained to Annie. She went out and came back and said he's gorgeous Kim. You must be crazy to be mad at him. "He's a pig!" I carried out his order and served them both. Nick asked me after the meal if I forgave him? "There is nothing to forgive." "I'd really like to make it up to you by taking you out sometime." Annie jumped and said, "her number is 555-2953." I elbowed her and he said, "that was 555-2953?" Annie introduced herself and said, "yup that's it." With that he asked me if he could call me? I said sure. Then he left. When I went back to the table there was a 100.00 tip. "He's gorgeous and has money," Annie said. "You hit the jackpot!"

End Flashback...

Chapter 5

Flashback continues...

Upon closer examination of the one hundred dollar bill I noticed a phone number. Annie said, "'lets call it!" "Why? We don't know to whom it belongs." "It has to be that guy... what's his name again?" "Nick." "Yes, Nick I'm glad "you" remembered." "I have food up." I said as I took the tip back and shoved it in my pocked. I brought the food out to the table and served my customers. I headed back to get coffee to refill everyones cup but Annie stopped me. "Kim you have to call him. He's so cute, if it weren't for David I'd call him myself." "Damn, Annie you don't know if it's his phone number." She held up her cell phone, "there is only one way to find out!" She had such an evil grin on her face. I grabbed her phone and told her to refill all coffee's. "I'll take care of your customers." "I don't plan on being gone that long." I sat in the employee's break room and dialed the number on the bill. It was to a cell phone. "This is Kim, who am I speaking to?" "Nick Carter, Kim who?" "You left this huge tip and I thought I'd call and see if it was your number on the bill." "My brother gave me the idea. He said no woman could resist calling a phone number on money." "Oh yeah," I laughed. "I'm glad you called. I want to invited you out on Friday night. That is if you don't have a boyfriend." "I don't have a boyfriend but..." "Uh oh, there's that awful word but." "I want to go however, would it be all right if my best friend comes with her boyfriend?" "Sure, the more the merrier." "What's you address? We'll pick you all up at 7:30 Friday night. Okay." I gave him my address. He thanked me for calling and then he hung up. Annie walked in as if she knew the call was over. She found me staring with this fixed look on my face. "It was him wasn't it?" "We are all going out on Friday night and he's picking us up." "Oh Kim, I'm so happy for you." "Thanks." I headed back to my work.

End Flashback...

I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep anymore. The thought of Annie so real, I can't believe she's gone. My tears had soaked my pillow. I flipped it over and stared at the ceiling as my memories came flooding back to me.

Flashback...

Nick picked us up that Friday night and we went to dinner and to a movie. We had a great time. Although Annie monopolized the conversation I didn't mind as I learned a lot more about him had we been alone on this date. That was Annie though, always taking care of me. After that first date Nick and I were inseperable. He was in the music business. Producer and managing. He was so handsome too. One Saturday the four of us headed down to the beach. I remember Nick asked me to apply suntan lotion to his back. It was the first time I saw him with his shirt off. His skin is so soft. After I applied the lotion to his back I made him lie down so I could but some on his chest. "I can do it." "Just lay back." I rubbed the lotion onto his chest and stomach. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down to him, that was our first kiss. Oh my was it one I'd never forget. I sat back up and continued to rub his chest. I then rubbed lotion on his legs. I could see his excitement and he wasn't even embarrassed. I lean over him and applied lotion to his face. His bare hands grabbed me around my bare waist. He looked in my eyes and said he wouldn't want me to fall. I smiled as I rubbed lotion on his face and neck. I sat up and rubbed it down his legs and on his feet. He sat up, "okay, my turn." The whole time David and Annie are watching us. Annie said for, "god's sake get a room! " We just laughed, Annie asked David, "How come you don't do that for me?" I lied on my stomach and enjoyed as Nick rubbed coconut smelling suntan lotion onto my back and legs, and shoulders. He told me to turn over so I did. He then applied the lotion to my stomach and my face and neck. He hesitated around my chest area but I pulled his hand down and he applied the lotion. He finished with my arms, legs and feet. Then he lied on his side facing me. "That was nice." I laughed and couldn't stop. "Do you need a cigarette or something?" "Actually..." Then he laughed too. He grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye. We had this amazing chemistry. Annie had borrowed a bucket from one of the kids on the beach and filled it with ice cold water without us knowing. Then she snuck up on us and soaked us with the ice cold water. The chase was on. I chased her into the ocean and dunked her under. She hugged me and said she was so glad I was happy. David and Nick joined us in water now. Nick told me to come to him. I hung onto his shoulders and he pulled me to him. I floated along with him as he swam out further. What a day we had. I'll never forget it.

End Flashback...

Chapter 6

I got out of bed and walked to the window. The city was lit up. It was so beautiful. Why was my world changing so much. What had I done so wrong that I'd lose everyone I loved. First my parents, then Annie, and now Nick. Why?! I flopped back down on my bed and fell asleep again.

Flashback...

Nick and I were celebrating our 6 month anniversary of dating. I loved him with all my heart and soul. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. Or Annie for that matter. If she wasn't there that night I probably wouldn't have even given Nick a second thought. I remember that rain storm. Since then whenever it rains I get so sad. My parents were working at the diner, as they always did. Everyday rain or shine. We had hurricane like winds and torential down pours. Dad was driving. He always drove mom every where they went together. The rain had gotten so bad that dad pulled over to the side of the road and they decided to wait it out. They were hit from behind, a semitruck decided to pull over too but was driving to fast. He slammed on his breaks but hydroplaned right into them. They died in each others arms. That was the first, worst day of my life. Without Annie and Nick, I don't think I'd ever gotten through it. Now at 19 I lived on my own in my parent's house. Annie moved in with me after that. She didn't want me to ever be alone. She slept beside me in my bed for over a month. I didn't want to be alone. She eventually moved into one of the spare rooms. Nick was around a lot more. He and I eventually made love. It was the most romantic night of my life. My parents had died about 2 months previously and Nick was sitting with me on my bed as I was going through old pictures. "They really loved each other didn't they? " I could only nod as my voice was caught in my throat. "Do you think your dad loved your mom as much as I love you?" I just looked up into his eyes and then he kissed me. He said he loved me. I removed his shirt and he moved the photo boxes off my bed. He slipped out of his clothes and helped me remove mine. All the while he was kissing my body and carressing it with his hands. We climbed in under the covers and his lips found my nipples. At first he licked them and then he sucked them sucking harder and harder until I winced in pain. He found my lips with his. He kissed my neck and then slowly inserted himself inside me. It was my first time. I've never known such pleasure and pain. Nick's body shuddered with pleasure and he collapsed on top of me. He rolled over next to me and asked me if I was all right? I turned to him and told him I loved him. He kissed me softly on the lips and held me all through the night. The next morning Annie walked in like she normally does and when she saw us in bed together she screamed with delight! "You two finally did it!" she said wide eyed. Nick and I snapped out of our dreams and smiled. I turned over to face him and he started kissing me again. He climbed on top of me and then I heard Annie say "Oh don't mind me." I laughed and then she left. He made love to me and this time, I had my first orgasm.

End Flashback...

The telephone rang waking me up from my dream. I thanked the front desk and he said I had a message. It was Nick, he said to have you call him as soon as possible. I thanked him and called Nick. He was still groggy but he was glad I called. "I'm lonely. I need you. Please come home." "I miss you too, but it's too painful." "Kim, let me come with you. I need to be with you. For god's sake your my wife. Why do I have to beg?" "Nick, I'm sorry I just need time. Please understand that." "Just come home, I'll leave. You need to be here. Kim, please.Think of the baby." "Nick... I can't." I hung up the phone and climbed into the shower. I wasn't showing yet but there was definately a life growing inside of me.

Chapter 7

Flashback...

David and Annie were engaged to be married. All four of us were incredibly close. Nick and I had been dating now for a year and a half when he asked me to marry him. I said yes. David and Annie have been together forever. We always knew they'd get married. So on June 21st, we held a double wedding ceromony. Annie and David, and Nick and I all got married together. I told you, Annie and I were inseperable. Annie couldn't wait to have children. "I want 8!" "You're crazy." "I want 8 too," Nick added. "You should have married Annie then." We all laughed. David said, "what ever makes you happy." "That goes for you too Kim." I kissed him. We all went to Greece for our honeymoon. We had seperate rooms of course. LOL! I had to say that. But we were inseperable. Nick and David were very close too. They would go diving together while Annie and I would go sight seeing. We hadn't gotten to Greece on our backpacking trek. We got as far South as Italy. Four months later Annie was dead. Some chemical imbalance in the brain. She had a Grand Mal Seizure and died in my arms. We were at her house. They had bought the house across the street from Nick and I. We were hanging wall paper. We'd meet together every morning like too old people and plan out our days. I heard a crash and called out her name but she didn't answer. I found her convulsing on the floor. I screamed and tried to stop it. I called 911 and an ambulance came, but she had already died. Nick and David were in our garage when the ambulance pulled up. They had no idea what was going on. They found me in the study with Annie's lifeless body in my arms.

End Flashback...

Even though it's only been 10 days, I'll never forget the pained look on her face. I slid down the wall of the shower and sat on the floor. It hurt so much even now. "Who is going to be my best friend now? Who is going to be my childs God Mother? Thier Aunt Annie? Who?"

I climbed out of the shower and started to get ready to go. I called for a bellman to take my bags downstairs. I sat on the bed remembering the day I found out I was pregnant.

Flashback...

When my doctor said I was pregnant I nearly busted with excitement. But who do I tell first? Annie is my best friend, but Nick is my husband, the father of my child. I decided to cook dinner. I called Annie and invited them both to dinner. I called Nick and told him to come home from work early. David and Annie had some news to tell us. Nick laughed and said "oh yeah, I can't wait until we get that news. " He told me he loved me and that he'd be home early. I was so excited. I stopped off at the mall and bought two infant sleepers. One pink and one blue. I cooked dinner and Annie called asking if I wanted some help? "No, just be here at 6 okay?" she said no problem. Nick came home at 5:30 p.m. and took a shower and joined me in the kitchen. He helped put the food out and then he noticed a box. I said no peeking, you'll have to wait. He just looked at me funny. The front door opened and Annie yelled, "yoo hoo, anyone home." "We're in the kitchen," I said. Nick kissed Annie and hugged David. "What's with the hug?" "Oh nothing. Sorry." I told everyone to have a seat. I picked up the box and placed it on the table. "What's that?" Annie asked. "I don't know what you'd all prefer so..." I pulled out the baby clothes and said, "did you want a neice or a nephew Annie, and Nick...do you want a daughter or a son?" They flew out of their chairs and hugged me. Nick was crying. "But I thought... You said Annie had news..." Annie looked at me, "your my best friend." "I wanted to tell you but Nick is my husband." "You did good." We sat down and ate dinner and discussed the details of my pregancy. I got pregnant on our honeymoon so I was 2 months pregnant. Annie was so happy for me. David and her have been trying but weren't having much luck. I told her it would happen. She teased me and asked me if it was a girl if I'd name it Annie? I hugged her and said I only needed one Annie in my life. That was all I could handle. Nick and I made love that night. I was due to help Annie hang wall paper the next day. She was into redecorating her house and I loved to help her.

End Flashback...

Chapter 8

I looked around my hotel room one last time. Then I slipped into the hallway and down to the elevator. I boarded the shuttle. I took the back row of the van. It reminded me of the school bus. Our days in 5th grade when we'd head to the back. The driver asked us all which airlines and then he headed to the city. The traffic was still bad. I figured it would be 'cause it was still raining. I still had 2 hours before the flight left so I knew I'd have enough time. I munched on some stale saltines as my stomach was upset this morning. I remembered Annie's funeral...

Flashback...

Her mom got to me. "It's important that we remember Annie in good times. Not that she's gone. The most important thing on her grave stone is the little -. The dash between her birth year and her death year. Although it's only a small little line, it represents 22 years of her life." Then it was my turn. I could barely speak. "That little dash. There should be two dashes there. Annie and I met in the second grade when she moved to the area. We've been inseperable ever since. That little dash... everything she did, I did and vice versa. When Annie died, I died too. Who is going to be my best friend now? I just hope that each of you can experience just a little piece of what we shared in your lifetime with someone. I loved her like my sister. I loved her more than a sister." I sat down with Nick and cried. He was openly weeping too. David spoke next. He looked at me and said, "Kim's right. There should be two lines on this headstone, and I will personally see that there will be. You see, whereever Annie was, so was Kim. They were like twins. Finishing each other's sentences, doing each other's homework." That got a laugh. "I was lucky enough to be allowed to share this wonderful woman. Kim, I thank you for that." I was stunned, why was he thanking me? "Annie turned me down twice for a date because she didn't want to hurt you. All these years later we finally get married and now she's gone. So, you don't know how much I treasured the time I spent with all of you." He was weeping now. "I love her so much, I don't see how I can go on. She's all I've know for the last 6 years." He stepped down and into his mother's arms. With that Annie's little sister sang a song of rememberance and we left. There was to be a luncheon at Annie's home afterwards but I headed home. I sat in the window seat for awhile and watched as the guest continously arrived. "Do you want to go over for just a minute?" Nick asked. I shook my head no. "I couldn't ever go into that house again." Nick helped me into bed and then he climbed in next to me. Just like he did when my parents died. I stayed in bed for four days. Nick went to work and came home and took care of everything. He didn't deserve this anymore than I did. So one day while Nick was at work I packed up my things and left.

End Flashback...

So here I sit now on this shuttle. Wondering what I'm going to do now. I don't know a soul in California. I don't want to go to California. I just want everything to be like it was. I hadn't eaten anything in I don't know how long. The crackers weren't cutting it. I was feeling really weak now. We finally got to the airport and I walked inside. I had to sit a minute. I was shaking. I got up and headed for the ticket counter and that's when I saw him. He saw me too. Nick. He ran to me just as my knees buckled beneath me. "What's wrong?" "I'm so weak..." then I passed out. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. Nick was holding on to my hand. I opened my eyes and asked for Annie? Nick sat up and said, "no it's me honey." I brought my hands to my face. I cried for her. She would never be hear again. "God I miss her so much." "I miss her too Kim. I miss her too. Don't let me lose you too. I can't lose you too." I looked in his eyes and for the first time noticed Nick's pain. "You loved her too didn't you?" "No one can help but love her too. She was you and you were her." I lifted my arms and he climbed into bed with me. "Kim I love you, please don't leave me." I cried and kissed his forehead. "I love you to Nick, I won't ever leave you." We fell asleep in each other's arms. The next day David had heard what had happended and he showed up at the hospital. I told him I was fine. He hugged me. "You've got to take care of yourself. Don't do anything foolish, or Annie will be angry." "How are you doing David?" "Not good, I'm selling the house. I can't stay there." I understood though, I really did. Annie's family came by too. They made me promise to call them if I ever needed anything. I promised I would, but I had Nick and he was all I had and needed right now. Nick squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. He and David went for a walk so that I could rest. I fell asleep and I woke up, or atleast I thought I woke up. "Annie? Annie is that you?" There seemed to be a light by my bed. Then the light came into focus and it was Annie. "Oh my god, Annie?" My hand passed through her. Then she spoke to me. He voice was soft and low. "I'm all right. I'm at peace now. You better take care of my niece. I may be gone, but my heart stays with you." Then she was gone. I laid back down on my bed and wondered if it was real? Did that just happen? Nick and David walked in and asked if I was all right? Nick said,"you look like you've just seen a ghost." My tears fell from my eyes. "What's wrong? Are you in pain? David go get the nurse quickly!" David flew out of the room. I looked at Nick and said "Annie was here. She was right in this room." The nurse came in and asked Nick to step back. My blood pressure was up and my heart was racing. "She told me I had to calm down." The nurse made the guys leave so I could sleep. She gave me a sedative and later that evening Nick was allowed back in. I woke up while he was talking to me. "You may still want to leave me, but I hope you don't. Because I could never love anyone like I love you. So if you go, you'll take my heart with you. Cause my hearts stays with you always." I sat straight up. "Nick?" "What baby?" "That's what Annie said today." "What did Annie say?" "My heart stays with you, that's what she said. " "You two shared everything else, why not a heart." I looked at Nick and said, "she told me to take care of her niece." He smiled and rubbed my stomach, so we've got a little girl coming?" "Do you believe me?" "The two of you were inseperable in life, why would a little thing like death come between you?" I hugged him so tightly, he really did understand me.

Chapter 9

The doctor released me and Nick took me home. When I got out of the car in our driveway I just stared at the house across the street. It stood empty. I asked Nick for his keys. "What for?" "I gotta do something." He handed me his keys and when I started to cross the street he asked me if I wanted some company? I just kept walking. I turned the key in the lock and the door opened. The house was the same. David didn't even bother to refrigerate the food that was brought over. Food was rottening all over the place. I dropped the keys on the table and started to clean up Annie's house. She never would have tolerated this mess. I finally got the kitchen in order. It took me an hour. Nick came and asked me if I was all right. The tears were streaming down my cheeks and I asked him to take out the garbage. He did as I asked and I swept and mopped the floor. Nick started cleaning up the living room. Throwing away old newspapers and magazines. I cleaned her bathrooms and headed up to her bedroom. David was there. I had no idea he was even home. I started to close the door but I heard him talking in his sleep. "Annie..." he kept saying her name. I walked in and sat next to him. "David, wake up. David..." He pulled me to him and kissed me. "Oh Annie," he said. I pushed him off of me and he woke up. He was really embarrassed. "I'm so sorry." I just let him hug me and cry. Nick found us a few minutes later. "What are you doing here?" "My wife felt the need to clean." "I'm sorry about the mess, but I'll take care of it later." "Too late." I said. "It's all been taking care of." He just let the tears fall. "Are you still going to sell the house?" "I can't bring myself to do it." He looked at me a little funny, then he said. "I still feel her here. I swear I can hear her sometimes." I just took a deep breathe and nodded in agreement. "I feel her too." I told him to get up and take a shower. I'll wash the linens. "Don't wash her pillow. I looked at him, "I can still smell her." He walked into the bathroom and I lifted Annie's pillow to my face and inhaled deeply. He was right. I found one of her hairs on the pillow too. "Oh Nick look," I said. "It's Annies'. "You just got released from the hospital. Come home and rest, you can finish here later." He was right. I was already feeling weak. Nick helped me down the stairs and across the street. We went inside and I swear I could smell Annie's perfume. "Do you smell that?" I asked Nick. "Smell what?" "Nothing, never mind." I went upstairs and Nick went into the kitchen. He came back upstairs with soup and sandwiches for the both of us. He even brought me a glass of ice milk. Annie and I could only drink mild if it was ice cold. Which usually meant it had to have ice in it. I saw the glass and smiled. "You remembered." I lifted the glass and drank my milk. I turned to Nick and told him I loved him. "What would I do without you?" "You'll never, ever, have to find that out." We watched some television until I fell asleep. Nick cleared away the dishes and turned off the televison. I slept for about two hours. When I woke I felt much better.

Chapter 10

My pregnancy progressed along very smoothly, we were expecting a girl. Nick suggested that we name her Annie. "We couldn't live the rest of our lives without Annie in it." "Annie once asked me to name our girl Annie, do you remember that?" Nick didn't. "I told her that one Annie in my life was all I could handle." He hugged me close to him and said, "in just a few weeks, we'll have our Annie back." Nick was really busy in his studio. He was working long hours so that he could take time off to be with me after the baby was born. David kind of lost his way. He ended up selling the house after all. We haven't heard from him since. Annie's parent's and siblings stop by all the time. They were touched that we were going to name our daughter Annie. Nick took me out to Annie's grave on her birthday. I heard Nick say, "well I'll be damned." "What is it?" He backed away from the grave. At first I didn't see it. Then I noticed. Between her birth year and death year there were now two lines. "Who did that?" "It had to be David." "Who else would have done that?" As if on queue David emerged from behind us. "Hello," He looked so pale and so very thin. "David!" I said as I threw my arms around him. "You haven't had that baby yet?" I shook my head but didn't say anything. "David, how have you been? Nick asked him? "Not good. He dropped some Daiseys on Annie's grave. They were her favorite flowers. I asked him about the line. "I promised you I would do it. Didn't I?" I nodded and let my tears fall. "David, where are you staying now?" "Here and there." "Are you all right? Are you safe and warm?" "I'm fine." I invited him to dinner but I knew he wouldn't come. "I'll try. "I'm late for work, I better go." I just held on to Nick and cried. "What has happened here?" I turned to Annie's grave and said, "see what you've done? Why did you have to go and do this, why!?" I turned and tried to run but I was so off balance due to my pregnancy. I just about got to the car when I felt my water break. "Oh God, no. Not today, please not today God." It was Annie's birthday. I just cried and Nick asked, "What's wrong?" I couldn't stop crying then the contractions started. I screamed, David heard me and came running back. "What's the matter?" Nick was terrified, "I don't know." David looked me in eye , "are you in labor?" I nodded my head. "Oh shit," Nick said. "Oh my God, what do we do?" "Nick, you lift her shoulders I'll lift her legs we've got to get her to the hospital." "Okay, on three. One, two, three..." they lifted me and placed me into our car. David got in and asked Nick for the keys. Nick fumbled for the keys and handed them to him. Nick climbed in the back seat with me. I was scared. "Nick I don't want to have our daughter on Annie's birthday." Nick looked at me and smiled. "Annie's probably cheering for you right now. She's looking down on you saying thank you." I just cried and then the next contraction hit again. "David hurry. Drive faster." "I'm going as fast as I can." We made it to the hospital finally and I was rushed into labor and delivery.

Chapter 11

I had already dialated to a 5. Nick was holding my hand as they inserted an IV into the other. My doctor was on call and she said a little early but the baby will be fine. She came in and checked on me for a while. The contractions were awful. A few times I lost it and said enough was enough. Then I saw her. Annie... she was bathed in white floating in the corner of the room. I could see her tears. I focused on her and the pain wasn't so bad anymore. The doctor told me to push. I did with all of my might. Annie watching all the time. The doctor told me the baby's head was out. She asked me not to push. Nick noticed the look on my face and turned towards the corner of the room. He didn't see her, but she was there. Just then a nurse blocked my view. I told her to move, "just a minute Mrs. Carter." "No move now!" She moved out of the way, Annie was still there. She was smiling at me and nodding her head. "Okay ," the doctor said, "one more push and we'll have a baby." I pushed and pushed and pushed. Out came my daughter. Nick cut the cord and they laid our Annie on my chest. I could see Annie coming closer to me. She was right beside me now. I lifted my daughter up into the air above me so that Annie could see her up close. The nurse thought I wanted them to take her but Nick said "no, just wait." He knew what I was doing. Annie smiled down on her name sake and then she was gone. I lowered Annie back onto my chest where she started trembling and started to cry for the first time. They wisked her away and had her measure and weighed and cleaned up. Nick bent over me and kissed me. "Did Annie see her?" I couldn't speak, through my tears I nodded yes. "I felt her. Could you see her?" Yes, I nodded. "I love you so much. Annie will be with you always." He leaned over me and hugged and kissed my tears away. "We have a daughter." I smiled and said,"Annie. I have my Annie back." We were released three days later. Nick stayed with me the first two weeks of Annie's life. He didn't go to work he didn't take a call, Annie and I were his whole world. One night he found me in the nursery standing on a ladder. I was tracing something on the wall. "Kim, what are you doing?" "I just have this idea, I want an angel here." "Get down and let me do it." I climbed down and he looked at what I had attempted to do and started to erase. He looked at me like I was crazy. "What do you want exactly?" I started to explain it to him. Then he climbed down and told me to follow him. I did, we ended up in his office and he sat me down and started to sketch. "No, more lighter, more like a glow." "A glow?" "It's Annie Nick, I want it to be what I see." We stayed up for two hours and Nick finally created what I saw. "That's it, that's what she looks like." "She's more beautiful in death. I'll put it up tomorrow okay. We need to get some sleep." I agreed with him. I checked on Annie who was in her bassinette at the foot of our bed and Nick held me close to him. "Good night baby, I love you." "I love you too Nick." The next morning Nick asked me to stay out of the nursery. He wanted to do this for me. Okay, I smiled and promised I would. By noon he still hadn't come out of the nursery. I knocked on the door and told him lunch was ready. "Don't come in." I thought he said come in so I tried the door. "Nick, it's stuck." Which was weird because there wasn't a lock on the door. "Do "not" come in. I'll be right down." "The door knob wouldn't turn in my hand. I figured Nick must have been holding it." I went downstairs and waited for Nick at the table.

Chapter 12

He was covered in paint. "What happened to you?" "It's a secret, please don't tell my wife." "I only asked for one little angel." "I'm almost done. How's Annie today?" "She's fine." He sat down next to me and we prayed together and ate our lunch. "I enjoy our meals together. I'm going to miss them when you go back to work." "I tell you what, how about I come home for lunch once or twice a week, more if I can? " "I'd love that Nick." He kissed me and devored his milk and said he'd be done in a few hours. "You don't have to lock me out I wouldn't go inside." "I wouldn't lock you out." "I tried the door but you were holding it or something." "I wasn't holding the door." "The knob wouldn't turn." He shrugged his shoulders, "maybe Annie was stopping you. " hen it hit me, maybe she was. Nick flew back upstairs and I fed and changed Annie. Wondering if what Nick had said was true. I felt stupid but I said out loud, "Annie? Are you hear with me?" Nothing, "can you give me a sign? Anything where I'd know it was you?" Her perfume scent filled the room. I closed my eyes and allowed my tears to fall. "You'd never leave me would you?" I burped my daughter and put her back to sleep. I felt so much better just knowing Annie was with me. Nick finally finished about 4:30. He called me upstairs and told me to close my eyes. I did as he told me and then he opened the door and led me inside. I could smell the paint fumes but I could also feel the breeze so I knew the windows were open. He place me in the center of the bedroom and then he said okay open them. Nick had painted Annie in each corner of the room. Up close to the ceiling. He captured her floating, like I described in the hospital room. But what brought me to tears was the large mural where Annie's crib was. Nick painted Annie looking down into the crib. Her eyes sparkled and she had that smile I missed so much. Her arms were outstretched as if inviting someone to sit on her lap or to be lifted into her arms. I cried, "oh Nick it's beautiful." "I thought of this in a dream last night. I figured that Annie's crib and bed would always be against this wall. So Annie's angel will always be watching over her." "Have I told you how much I love you?" "Baby you don't have to tell me. I know you do, and I love you." When Nick went back to work I would always bring Annie up into her room. I would tell her stories of her Aunt Annie for whom she was named after. The room was beautiful. Nick and I eventually had 3 more children. Each of their rooms had an Annie angel painted somewhere inside. But our Annie... she loved her room and would fantasize all about her Aunt Annie. She's 12 now and asks me all the time what was Annie's favorite this or what was her favorite that. She's intrigued by it all. Then one day she was really sad. "What's wrong?" "I miss Annie." I looked at her and said, "how can you miss someone you never met?"

Chapter 13

Annie said, "but I do know her mom. I feel her all the time. But today I just feel like something's wrong." "What do you mean by that?" Today was the anniversary of Annie's death. I had never told her about it. "I smell Annie's perfume and sometimes I swear someone is rubbing my hair. And then there are times when I can hear laughter. This morning I woke to tears on my face. I heard weeping and ..." I stopped her because I didn't want to tell her. I got up from the table and walked out into the front yard. I stared at the house across the street. Annie came up behind me. "What did I say?" she asked. "Annie died on this day in that house." She stared across the street at the Browns' home. "Annie used to live there with Uncle David?" I nodded my head. Nicky, Sarah, and Brian rode up on their bikes and asked what we were doing outside? "Just getting some air. Dad will be home soon so not to much longer okay?" They were going around the block one more time. I walked inside with Annie following me. We were extremely close, she knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. She helped me with dinner and then she asked me to tell her how Annie died. "You already know that. She had a seizure." "Could I have a seizure?" She startled me that I cut myself with a knife. "Damn, why did you go and say that?" I grabbed a towel and wrapped my hand. "I'm sorry." Nick came home and found us in the kitchen. He saw my bloodied hand and asked what happened? "I cut myself with the knife I'm all right though." He kissed me and looked at Annie. "Hi sweetheart, how was your day?" She turned and flew upstairs. "Something I said?" I told him she asked about Annie and how she died. "I was wondering if you remembered what today was." "How could I forget?" "Where is the rest of our tribe?" I smiled and said, "riding bikes. They'll be home in a couple of minutes." Nick bent down to kiss me and then he said he'd be back in a minute. He went upstairs and knocked on Annie's door. She allowed him in and he hugged her. "What's wrong?" She explained what had happened and then Nick explained what exactly happened the day Annie died. Annie was devastated. "I asked mom if I could have a seizure." "It's all right. It's been 12 years since Annie has been gone physically, but she's with mom. She's with all of us." "I know that." Just then I yelled dinner. Nick hugged her again and we ate dinner together. That night in bed Nick asked, "Have you ever regretted ever coming back to me?" "Never, Why would you even ask me that? Is it something I did or said?" Nick kissed my lips, "no, it's just that I can't imagine my life without you in it. You have given me so much, and I can't give you the one thing you'd trade everything away for." "What's that?" "To have your best friend back." "I have a best friend." "You do? Who?" "You, you are my best friend." I wiped away his tears and he kissed me. He made love to me that night like it was our first time. I loved him more than even I knew.