Chapter 1

Excuse me Ms. Anderson? We are ready for departure, I'll need you to turn off all electronic devices now. I said goodbye to my publicist and turned off my phone. Just then the flight attendant opened the door and a tall very good looking man sat down in the seat next to me. I've noticed him before on this flight. We both commuted back and forth between Los Angeles and Orlando. This was the first time we've actually been seated together though. I hated to fly so I opened up my briefcase and grabbed my book. The flight attendant asked me to stow my belongings for take off. I just smiled at her and slipped my briefcase under the seat. For goodness sake, we haven't even left the gate yet. I flipped open my book and began to read. The captain made his little speech and we pushed back from the gate. For the next 5 ½ hours we'd be traveling at approximately 600 miles per hour in a tin toothpaste tube. At least I was flying first class. I heard the roar of the engines squealing almost with delight that we were about to barrel down the runway into the great wild blue yonder. The faster the airplane went the deeper I sank into my seat. As we lifted off a small moan escaped my mouth. I just closed my eyes until I felt the sunlight peeking through the window. Once I felt safe I opened my eyes and looked around. The gentlemen next to me also had his eyes closed. I looked down as his hands and they were gripped tightly on his knees. I pretended to read my book but I was staring at his hands. His hands were beautiful. He had long slender fingers and they were perfectly manicured. I jumped when his hands moved and instinctively looked at the man. He was stretching and his eyes were still closed. He seemed to be trying to get comfortable in his seat and then a few minutes later I heard him breathing quite shallow. I knew he was asleep. After about an hour I decided to put my seat back and try to sleep as well. It's the best way to pass the time. Somewhere in the middle of the flight we hit some turbulence. The man next to me jumped and grabbed my hand, which was on the console between the seats that we shared. It was the first time we looked into each other's eyes. He immediately let go and smiled at me. I closed my eyes and tried to remember every detail about his face. He was very handsome, he must be successful too, after all he travels first class almost as frequently as I do. The flight attendant from hell came by and asked me for my dinner request. Ms. Anderson we are all out of the chicken, I'm sorry but you'll have to choose something else. I told her to bring me whatever she had too much of. She looked at the man next to me and had a totally different demeanor. Mr. Carter would you like the usual? He said you're out of chicken aren't you? She said in a whispered voice, I saved one for you. I looked up at that moment and said excuse me? The flight attendant was surprised that I heard the conversation. I said you just told me you were out of chicken. She said that's right I am. I said is "Mr. Carter" getting chicken? She said he had ordered the last one. I said but you took my order first. She seemed to blow me off. I pulled out my platinum frequent flier card and handed it to her. She asked what that was for? I said you keep your damn card because I won't be flying this airline anymore. When I write my letter to you corporate headquarters I'll be sure to let them know that you, Janice Bennett, are the reason. Since I sat my butt in this seat you've been down right rude to me, and I'm sick of it. She asked me to lower my voice and I said I wasn't yelling. Which I wasn't. Mr. Carter said I could have the chicken. I said I don't want the chicken. Don't bring me anything. That bitch didn't either. No drinks, no nothing. Once the airplane landed I flew off the aircraft and headed down to baggage claim. Mr. Carter caught up with me and said he was sorry he flies this airline all the time and he's never experienced anything like that before. I told him it wasn't his fault but I was certainly going to turn her in, even though it wouldn't do any good. He said he'd write a letter too. I told him he didn't have to do that. I retrieved my bag and headed out to catch a cab. I headed to my hotel and took a hot bath and ordered room service. I got my chicken after all. I checked my email and did a little work on the computer and turned in early.

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning and headed to my business appointments. I was a fashion designer and a very good one. I was here to bid for a contract on outfitting a few musical groups. All I knew is that there were 5 of them. Their ages ranging from 19 to 28, I had my work cut out for me. I was confident and ready for the challenge. At 21 I was tough and knew what I wanted and how to get it. I met with some big wig at Jive Records and I grabbed my visuals, my models were all ready here. I also had an awesome computer program that was interactive and we could play around with a lot of my creations. Different styles, different colors, this system could do anything. I walked into the room and took my seat. I was setting up my props when these men came in. My back was towards them and when I turned I faced my seatmate from Los Angeles. I smiled at him and then he remembered me. He walked over to me and asked me how I was doing today? I said I'm fine Mr. Carter, how are you? He said please, call me Nick. All right, call me Kim. Just them the big wig invited everyone to sit down and Ms. Anderson would begin with the presentation. I said first of all please call me Kim. Good Morning they said. I went through the different ideas I had for them and then went over the computer system and had them modify the styles and colors of the garments. Alexander, or AJ, as he likes to be called, wanted leopard print but the other men didn't see it that way. Kevin was much more conservative. Howie wanted to look nice, but not made up Brian wanted clothes that fit and weren't tight. Nick wanted close that covered but left a lot to the imagination. I asked them to give me a minute and in about 10 minutes I flashed up on their screens the versions of the outfits they would be wearing of the ones they chose as a group that they liked the best. They seemed pretty pleased. AJ still wasn't happy that he couldn't have the leopard print. I asked him to give me a minute. He looked at his screen and I flashed some leopard skin socks and boxerbriefs on his screen. I said Mr. McLean how is that? He looked at his screen and busted up laughing. He said hire that girl. He was laughing and the other guys got up to look at his monitor. They were all laughing and saying, that is the only way we'd allow leopard print on the stage. I spent 4 ½ hours with them and by the time it was all wrapped up I was starving. As always they'd be in touch and I was left to clean up the mess. I got everything packed away and headed back to my hotel. I again ordered room service and reconfirmed my flight back in the morning. I don't know how I got so bold but I said I'm traveling with a Mr. Carter, has he reconfirmed with you? She said let me check his reservation. She said he was confirmed on the flight in seat 2B. I said uh oh, we're not sitting together can you fix that? She said let me check, she came back and said she could move me to 2A. Perfect, I said. After I hung up the phone I felt so stupid. What did I just do? I picked at my lunch and decided to go for a walk around the shops in town. I thought the city was charming. I really must find an apartment here. I stopped at a newsstand and picked up a few newspapers and went back to the hotel. As I walked into my room I noticed the red light on my phone was blinking. I called for my messages. The second to the last message was an invitation to dinner from the guys, (including Mr. Carter) to discuss other options. I of course called and told them I'd be there. I threw the newspapers in my suitcase and got into the shower. I was nervous and I don't know why. I dressed for dinner and went downstairs and the doorman hailed a taxi for me. I pulled up in front of the restaurant and met AJ and Brian at the bar. I said hello is everyone here? They said I looked nice and that they'd be along shortly. We sat down and I ordered a white wine. We were talking a little about the clothes and they said they really loved them. They just had a few ideas for some other pieces. Kevin and Howie showed up and joined us. They kept calling me Ms. Anderson, I said please call me Kim. Now we were all on a first name basis. Nick finally showed up and we were all escorted into a private dining room. Nick pulled out a portfolio and the guys explained what they were looking for. Nick was close in what they wanted but they kept saying it wasn't what they wanted. I studied the drawing a little and then started to draw on my napkin. I said how about this? Kevin said now that's what we want. We went through the other sketches and they were great. Mr. Carter, I mean, Nick had some talents. The business part of the evening was done and now it was time to eat. I sat of all places between AJ and Howie. What fun they are. Nick sat across from me and Kevin and Brian sat on either side of him. They were surprised that I was only 21. They thought I was older than that. We ordered our food and made small talk until it came. We were laughing and having a great time by the end of the evening. Once outside of the restaurant I tried to hail a taxi but the guys insisted on taking me back to my hotel. I got in their limousine and they escorted me to the hotel. They wanted to go out again but I told them I had an early flight in the morning. Nick smiled, he said are you flying United? I said one last time. The guys had no clue what we were talking about. I thanked them for dinner and told them I'd be in touch. I went inside and up to my room. What a day!

Chapter 3

The next morning it was I who was running late. Nick was already sitting in his seat and I was one of the last to be boarded. He smiled as I pointed to seat 2A as being my seat. He stood up and said we have got to stop meeting like this. I put my overnight bag in the overhead bin and plopped down in 2A. I fastened my seat belt and stored my computer and briefcase under the seat. Nick and I talked through the flight attendants speech regarding safety. Within minutes we were in the air heading for Los Angeles. Nick asked if I had any ideas about the new costume designs? I said I was working on it this morning that's why I was so late. He smiled and wanted to know what I was working on. I pulled out my computer and up popped computer generated designs or what we had discussed the evening prior. He thought it was amazing. Our breakfast was served and everything was very pleasant. When we arrived in Los Angeles some girl met Nick at the gate. They kissed so I knew it wasn't his sister. I waved and walked down to baggage claim alone. Once down there I noticed the two of them standing on the other side of the carousel the girl was talking and hugging him and Nick was staring at me. I smiled and grabbed my bag and walked outside. A minute later I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and Nick stood there smiling at me. Hello again he said. Hi, where's your friend? He cocked his head and said getting his bag. He was nervous and was trying to ask me something but was having a hard time. My ride pulled up to the curb. Teri came out and hugged me. Nick said, can I call you? I said sure you have my card don't you? He said he has it. He said but he wanted to, you know, maybe go to dinner or something? I said what about your friend? He said she's no one. I said well if she's no one then who am I? I got in Teri's car and reminded him again that he had my card. As we left Teri was asking me who that was? I said only the hottest guy I've ever met in my life. She said you were pretty cold to him. He has a girlfriend, I said. We drove up to my house and I started my laundry. I showed her the new clothes his group would be wearing. She thought they were great. I said I wish I could get them to go tighter and higher here, pointing to the muscle T-shirt's they'd be wearing one day. She said make them that way anyway. We both laughed. We ordered in Chinese and then Teri went home. I called my partner and told her that I had the new account. She was happy for us, I usually land most of my clients. I told her I'd be in the office tomorrow to show her what I had. Until tomorrow then, she said. I took a long bath and sat in my tub reliving the last two days. I couldn't get Nick out of my mind. He was seeing someone though. I don't go for that, too much work. I climbed out of the tub and checked out my reflection in the mirror. I wrapped in my bathrobe and headed to bed. I was up at dawn and in the office by 6:30 a.m. After checking my messages I got started on my proofs for the guys. At 9:30 a.m. my partner came into my office. I didn't even notice her. Kim, helloooo, anyone home? I looked up and smiled. I'm sorry I was a little preoccupied, I said. She came behind me and not only had I drawn the clothes, I'd drawn Nick wearing all of his clothes. She asked who the model was. I felt myself blush, oh someone I met on the airplane I said. Which wasn't entirely a lie. She thought the lay out was great. She couldn't believe the styles these days. Joyce was 20 years older than I, but very hip and cool. We met each other in school and she had the money and I had the talent. So we went into business 50/50. We were just starting to feel the rewards of the first 3 years. We were both homeowners now and drove very nice cars. I had money in the bank for the first time in a long time. My telephone rang, my secretary said it was my brother Ken. I picked up the call and he and my 3 other brothers were going to play basketball at lunchtime and was inviting me along. Sure I said as I looked at my watch, what time and where? I wrote down the information and buzzed my secretary. I told her at 11:25 buzz me and tell me my brothers are waiting. She said OK. Joyce and I looked over the signed contracts and designs again. We were pretty excited about everything. Joyce was off to try and secure another contract I wished her luck and went back to work. A few minutes later my secretary buzzed me again and said it was a Mr. Carter. I felt myself go stiff. I walked over and picked up my phone and said, hello Nick.

Chapter 4

He had a hard time finding the words. He said he just wanted to call and invite me to lunch. I told him unfortunately I already had plans. He said another time then. I said sure, or if you're up to it you can join me for lunch. He said today? I said before you accept let me tell you what I'm doing for lunch. I'm joining my four brothers at the community center for basketball. He said what time? I said 12:00 noon. He said he'd be there with the guys. I said OK, if you must. He said they'd play against us. OK, if you must. He had a nervous laugh, I told him to dress accordingly. He said well I better go get ready then. I looked at my watch it was 11:15 a.m. Me too I said. I'll meet you there. I hung up and called my secretary. I told her I'm getting ready to meet my brothers. I changed into some shorts and a T-shirt and headed to the community center. My brothers were already there, but no sign of Nick and the guys. We started to warm up and then I noticed Nick and the guys walk in. I said, look here comes our guys. My brothers all stood over 6ft. And when Nick pointed me out and saw my brothers I could see the look of disappointment on their faces. Why I was cursed with short stature, I'm not sure. I'm only 5'4. So I think they automatically thought my brothers would be short too. We met at half court and I did all the introductions. Nick was smiling at me. I said, what? He looked down and didn't say anything. We were getting ready to start the game when all of a sudden AJ said my team had to be skins. I looked at him and said, ha ha. Skins meant that my team had to play topless. I wasn't about to take my shirt off. I said we could remember who our teammates are, can't you all? Nick was guarding me and I received the ball after it was tipped off. I guess he thought I wouldn't be very good at basketball, but you see I grew up with 4 brothers. I was the baby. So needless to say we kicked their butts. It was a great game and really good work out. I hugged my brother's good bye and said good bye to the guys. Brian asked me to join them for lunch. I told them I really should go back to work. He said dinner then, I said just the two of us? Brian blushed and he said well, no I have a girlfriend. I just thought we would all go… I said that's all right, maybe some other time. I walked outside the community center and headed back to the office. I got to the first corner and Nick was right behind me. He startled me. He apologized and asked if he could walk with me? I said it's not my street. He smiled I could tell he was embarrassed. We walked the few blocks to my office and I told him this is where I worked. He looked up and asked if he could come up. I said why? He said we never had lunch. I smiled and said OK. We went inside and Nick followed me into the elevator. We didn't speak a single word until we walked into my office and I closed the door. He put his gym bag down and walked over to my window that over looked the city. I told him I'd be right back and went into my bathroom and took a shower. I put my suit back on and walked out only to find Nick sitting at my drafting table. He looked up and smiled at me. He said is this supposed to me? I walked over a little embarrassed and said I guess it could be. He smiled and asked if he could use my bathroom? Be my guest I said. 10 minutes later he was all showered and changed. I was on the phone talking to my mother. She usually calls me once a day. I hung up and the phone rang again. I handled that problem and said let's get out of here before the phone doesn't stop. We headed out back to the elevator and Nick and I just kind of stared at each other. The doors opened and some people got in. Nick and I were now on opposite sides of the elevator. I just smiled it was kind of funny. The people got out and Nick placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me out of the elevator. Where to, he asked? There's a little diner around the corner, I said. We walked out and the sun was so bright. We walked around the corner and into the restaurant. It was pretty busy, Nick looked a little disappointed. We found a booth by the window and sat across from each other. The waitress came by and told us today's specials that she had memorized and said she'd be back with our drinks. Nick and I looked over the menus and placed them on the edge of the table once we had made our choices. Nick asked me about myself and I gave him as much information as I wanted him to know. Just the basics, I'm single the youngest of 5 children. My parents live in Los Angeles and I commute a lot between CA and Fl and NY. He said he'd thought he'd seen me before. I said it was the first time we'd ever been seated together though. Our food came and we both ate in silence, broken only by the waitress as she asked if everything was all right. Once she left Nick talked about himself. He was the oldest of 5 children and his parents also live in CA, but he lives in FL. I told him I was thinking about buying a place in FL. He currently stays with friends when he's in CA. It's too far to drive to his parent's house from Los Angeles. The traffic here is awful. I laughed and agreed with him. The restaurant was beginning to clear out. My cell phone was starting to ring and I told him I had to get back. He said he wanted to do this again. I said what about your friend? He said that's all they were friends. I said with friends like that, you don't need to date. He smiled and said so? So what, I asked? Can I have your phone number?

Chapter 5

I said he had it. He said he didn't want my work number, he wanted my home phone number. I said what's yours? I'll call you. He smiled and said you are so competitive. I said I have 4 brothers, I can play any game. He gave me his number and I said good bye. He asked me when I was going to call him? I just smiled at him and walked out the door. I had just sat down at my desk when my secretary told me that Mr. Carter was here. I smiled and met him at the door. He said I forgot my bag. I opened the door and let him in. I closed the door and ran to my phone. Once I got rid of purchasing I looked at Nick and he sat in the chair in front of my desk. I said with a smile on my face, that I'd never get any work done with him here. He said it's Friday, leave early. I can't I told him. He asked if I was going to call him? I'm thinking about it, I said. He said, you're going to make me suffer aren't you? I said are you suffering? He smiled and said he had to go. I walked him to the door and told him I'd call him tonight. He smiled and thanked me for the game and for going to lunch with him. I closed the door and leaned up against it. How does he get under my skin like that? I'm putty in his hands. I went to my desk but couldn't concentrate. I decided to take Nick's advice and go home early. I said goodbye to my secretary and told her to have a good weekend. As I maneuvered the streets of Southern California I thought only of Nick. I even missed my exit. Once I got home I changed into some jeans and poured myself a glass of wine and put some music on. I worked on some stuff until I got to Nick and his friends. Then I pulled out his phone number and called him. He was sleeping. Oh, please tell him that Kim called. The voice said wait, I'm supposed to wake him up if you call. I said don't wake him. I'll call back in an hour. He said it's no problem. I said I'd just call back. I hung up feeling like a total airhead. 10 minutes later my phone rang. I picked it up and Nick was on the other end. How did you get my number? He said he doesn't have it, yet. He dialed *69. I laughed, I would have called you back. He said he couldn't wait another hour. So now what? I said. He said well it's almost 8, it's still early. Do you want to go out? Out where? I asked. He said you're not making this easy, are you? What am I doing? I asked. He said, look I'm going be straight with you. I like you and want to get to know you better, if you're just going to toy with me let me know now. I don't mind but I want to know if I'm wasting my time or not. I was smiling and said OK, do you want to meet somewhere? He said give me your address and I'll come and pick you up. I said but you don't like California traffic. He said what's the address? I smiled and gave it to him. He said he'd be there in an hour. Then we said goodbye and hung up the phone. I went and changed. I had no idea where we were going so I put on a black dress. Appropriate for all occasions. Nick was at my door in 45 minutes. I opened the door and not only was he here 15 minutes early but he was dressed to the nines and holding a dozen red roses. I invited him in and accepted the roses. He looked around and said it's not what he expected from me. I said what did you expect? He said something more masculine. That hurt, I said. He said he didn't mean it as an insult. He's glad that there is a feminine side to me too. Oh really I say. I sat down on the sofa and he sat down next to me. He said why is it so hard to talk to you? I shrugged my shoulders and said I don't know. I said are we staying here or are you taking me out? He said let's go, he took my hand and led me to the door. Wait, I have to get my purse. I let go of his hand and turned off the radio and picked up my purse and we went outside. He opened the door to his car for me and once I was inside he closed it and walked around to the driver's side. He turned on his car and the music was loud! He quickly turned it down and apologized. He drove to some nightclub and we went dancing. Fast at first then he pulled me so close on the slow song I could smell his cologne. I could feel his heart beating and it was such a turn on. We sat down and I ordered a white wine. Nick wasn't old enough to drink liquor so he had a Coke. He was embarrassed and I told him not to worry about it. I looked at my watch it was 12:30 a.m. I said we better go, it's pretty late. Nick drove me home and he walked me to my door. I said it's late he leaned in and kissed me. I couldn't fight it. First it was his lips brushing over my lips. Then the kiss got deeper and before I knew it his tongue was in my mouth. I backed off and said he was going too fast. He said he just couldn't help himself. I said you better go before you get lost in the dark. He said, could I have your phone number now? I wrote it down on the back of my business card and he leaned in for a quick peck again. I watched him walk to his car. I opened the door and went inside. 2 minutes later the phone rang. Who could be calling me at this hour? Hello I asked? Nick said he was just checking before he left. I laughed and told him I wouldn't give him a fake number. I hung up showered and went to bed.

Chapter 6

The next morning Nick called to ask if I had a good time the night before. I said I did. He asked if I wanted to do something today. I said I couldn't, I had a family obligation that I couldn't get out of. He was disappointed but he asked me to call him when I got back. Sure I said, now what did I do with your number? He laughed, he was catching on. I hung up and got dressed and went to my parent's house. It was my mother's birthday. I designed her a new outfit and booked her a day at the spa. She has never been. My parent's worked hard their entire lives. My brothers were all very successful. Doctor, Lawyer, Investment Banker, and a Minister. Then there was me, I co owned my own business. Daddy worked as an aerospace engineer his entire life. We never hurt for the necessities. We threw a pretty big party at my parent's house. I haven't seen this many relatives since Uncle Bob's funeral. We headed out back and shot some hoops in the driveway. My cousins said I hadn't changed. Everyone had their dates, or wives with them. I was one of 4 alone without a date. The other 3 were too young for spouses or dates. I couldn't wait for it to be over. It was fun and my mom had a great time. The truth is we'd be doing this again next month when my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I would again be alone at that function. I said good night to my parents and family and got in my car and drove home. I was tired and got in the tub. My phone rang I picked it up and Nick, I forgot to call you. He said it was OK. I told him I was exhausted and after I got out of the tub, I was going to bed. He said you're in the tub? I giggled a little and told him I was going to church in the morning and if he'd like to join me he could. He said what time? I told him I was kidding he didn't have to take me to church. He said he'd take me. I said I have to be there at 9 a.m. for choir practice. He said he'd pick me up at 8:30 a.m. I said all right. I hung up the phone and went to bed. I woke up at 7 a.m. and the sun was up all ready. I got up and made some breakfast and waited for Nick. I decided to call him. He answered on the first ring? What are you doing? I asked. He said getting ready for church. I laughed. He said what am I supposed to wear? I said it doesn't matter. He said is a suit and tie too much? I said yes, the service is only supposed to be an hour but my brother is long winded. He said your brother is a priest? Yes, does that make you nervous? A little he said. I said you're coming at 8:30 right? He said he'd be here. I finished getting ready and Nick was on time. I invited him in and brushed my teeth and we left for the church. When we got there my brothers were standing in a circle with their wives and they remembered Nick. We walked over to them and said good morning. Nick looked very nice and a lot of the women, my sister in laws included were checking him out. Justin said we should get together again for another game of Basketball. Nick said the fellas would like that. Ken said we'd play at mom's house. Nick said that was fine with him. He put his arm around my waist and I looked at him. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, does this bother you? I looked into his eyes and said no. David was talking to him now and he said excuse me? David said it was time to go in and practice. Nick sat in the pew and listened to us rehearse. After rehearsal we all went outside and waited for the church service to start. Nick asked me where he should sit. I said sit on the side. He ended up picking the pew directly in front of my parents. I was too far away to do anything about it. Our music director stood before us. We sang one song and then my brother, the minister opened with prayer and we sang again. We were dismissed to our seats and I sat with Nick. My parent's eyes opened wide. I smiled and Nick smiled at them too. He leaned over and asked who they were? I said my mom and dad. He withdrew his arm from around my shoulders. We listened to my brother lead us in worship and then Nick turned to the correct page in the hymnal and we sang with the rest of the congregation. He has the most amazing voice. You should hear him sing amazing grace. We sat down and I grabbed his hand. He looked at me and smiled. After the sermon my parents found us in the courtyard and I introduced them to Nick. My parents adored him and only knew him for 5 minutes. My brothers took him away and they shot hoops in the parking lot while the women gossiped. My mom asked where I had met him? Work ma, I said. My sister-in-laws were all gathering around now too. I repeated my story and they thought that it was fun. He's so hot, Denise said. You're married to my brother, the priest. She said she's not dead. The men came back all sweaty and mom invited us all back to her house for dinner. I looked at Nick and asked him if he wanted to go? He said sure. My parents left and Nick and I headed for his car. Once he got in I told him we didn't have to go. I know this is probably very awkward for you. He said this was fine. He likes my family and didn't have any other plans. I said all right let's go then.

Chapter 7

I made Nick take me home so I could change my clothes and then we stopped by his apartment that he shared with his cousin and a friend. We arrived at my parent's house and sat down to a pot roast dinner. Nick seemed to really enjoy himself and he really fit in well. Us girls went and cleaned up the dishes for mom. The guys went out back and wanted to shoot hoops but they were short one player. My brothers kept calling me and finally the women told me to go. I flew out the back door and joined my brothers. Nick smiled when he saw me. It was the Anderson's against the in-laws. Nick smiled when David said that. We played and beat them again. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. My brothers teased me mercilessly when I missed a shot. When Nick brought me home he said it was great seeing my happy. I told him I was happy. He said I'm different around my family, more relaxed. He said next weekend, we go to the mountains to visit my family. OK, I said. I have to go to Florida this week though. Is there any travel plans in your future? He said none planned. Oh well, we sat down on my sofa and watched a little television. Nick sat with his arm around me and I looked at him. I saw him smile and I said what? He said wouldn't a picture last longer? Huh? I said. He said you're staring at me. I am not, I complained. He turned and looked at me and I said, OK maybe I was. Did you have a good day? He leaned in and kissed me, the best he said. We cuddled on the sofa for a few hours then Nick actually dozed off. I got up and took a shower and changed my clothes. I warmed up some left overs and Nick walked in feeling really bad. He said he was sorry he fell asleep. I asked him if he wanted something to eat? He smiled and said he'd like to use my bathroom. Through there I said. I warmed up some food and poured him some milk. He came back and sat down with me. He devoured everything on his plate and I asked him if he wanted more. He said if I had more. I smiled and fixed another plate. Once he finished his dinner I washed the dishes and left them in the strainer to dry. We went back on the sofa and we listened to some music. We slow danced a little and kissed a lot. I was falling for him, there was no going back. I told him he had better go now. I have to work in the morning. He said lunch tomorrow? Sure I said and I kissed him again. I walked him out to his car and he kissed me again. He said he'd see me tomorrow. I watched him leave wishing he'd stay. I again went to bed alone. It was too soon anyway. Wasn't it? I dreamt that night of making love to Nick. I imagined his strong hands caressing every inch of my body. His lips on mine and then my alarm went off. I turned it off and got ready for work. I met Nick for lunch later that afternoon and kissed him full on the lips. He just made me so happy. I'm on the red eye tonight so I won't see you for a few days. He asked me where I was staying? I said the Marriott again. He said he has a house that I could stay at if I wanted too. I said no that's all right. He said why not? No one is there. I don't know. He said tell you what… Here are the keys and the address, you decide. I even have a car in the garage. I said all right, I'd stay. We ate lunch and then I went back to work. I sent the specs down to the garment floor and they would cut and sew them. By the time I get back they'd be ready. Joyce came and talked to me for a little while. I was going for a designer's conference in Florida. She thanked me for a job well done and told me to have a great trip. I packed up my belongings and headed for home. Around 8:30 my doorbell rang. It was Nick. I invited him in and asked what he was doing here? He said he was taking me to the airport. I said he didn't have too. He said he wanted too. I was all packed and Nick put the bags in my trunk. We headed for the airport, and I got checked in and Nick and I went to the gate. We sat in the gate area and waited for my flight to board. It was time for me to go and Nick kissed me goodbye. He told me he'd call me tomorrow. I took my seat and settled in for the night. I saw Nick through the window and watched him wait for my plane to leave. The airplane backed off the gate and we headed for the East Coast. Once I landed I grabbed my bags and hailed a cab. I told the cabbie the address and sat back and waited. When the cab finally did stop we stopped in front of a beachfront mansion. I said are you sure this is the right address? He read the address back to me and I paid my fare. With bags in hand I walked up to the front door and the key fit. I walked inside and I couldn't believe Nick's house. I closed and locked the door behind me and started to explore the house. The phone rang and I about jumped out of my skin. I followed the ringing to a den and then I heard the answering machine come on. Nick's voice said, you know what to do. Then Nick was calling my name. I picked up the phone and Nick said you made it. I said I can't believe your house. He was laughing and he asked which room I was in? I said the den I think. He then told me where I could find the other rooms in the house and his bedroom and kitchen, bathrooms and such. I said it's so beautiful. I was yawning and he said to call him when I woke up from my nap. I thanked him again for letting me stay in his house. I grabbed my bags and went up the stairs. I headed towards the double doors at the end of the first landing. I swung them open and thought I was in heaven. I could see the ocean. Above his bed was a ceiling of glass. It was beautiful. I took a shower and climbed into his king sized bed and fell asleep.

Chapter 8

When I woke up I was a little scared. Then I remembered where I was. I picked up the phone and dialed Nick's house in California. His cousin John answered. A minute later Nick was on the phone. How'd you sleep, he asked me? I stretched and told him I was never leaving here. He laughed, I said I haven't even gotten out of your bed yet. He laughed his nervous little laugh. I said I love the ceiling and the fact that you can not only hear the ocean but you can see it. The house is so beautiful. He thanked me and told me he missed me all ready. I told him I missed him too. We talked for a few minutes and then I went downstairs to find some food. I noticed lots of pictures of his family all over the place. I found some toast and some coffee and sat down and watched the local news. I had 2 hours before the conference began. I figured I had better leave early as I haven't really ever driven the streets of Florida before. After I changed I went to the garage and opened the door. A green Durango was parked inside. I found the keys on the wall just where he said they'd be and I got it. It took me a minute to find the remote control, but I found it. I backed out and took off towards town. I liked his radio station so I didn't change it. I made my way to the conference, Florida's traffic was no where near as bad as California's. I parked and checked in and sat for the next 8 hours, only breaking for lunch. At the end of the day I drove back to Nick's house and took a walk on the beach. I can't believe this guy lives on the beach? His house had a lot of style. He must really love the beach. He had a beach theme going on inside too. I noticed in his garage as I was leaving some diving equipment too. I'm going to have to get to know him a little better. I walked back inside and made some dinner. The phone rang and I figured it must be Nick. So I answered it. It wasn't Nick it was Brian. He was surprised that a woman answered the phone. He sounded a little emotional so I asked him what was wrong? He said he'd just broken up with his girlfriend. I said I was sorry. He asked for Nick. I said he's in California. He's just letting me stay here. He said that's why he was calling. He needed a place to crash for a few days. He needed to think things out. I said just come over, this house is big enough, besides, I'm gone all day and I leave in two days. He said no it's OK. I said you need someone and I'm so bored out of my mind here. We could entertain each other and I could help you keep your mind off things for a while. He said OK. He said he'd be here in a little while. I hung up the phone and went back to my dinner. I was reading the paper when I heard a key in the front door. It startled me a little until I saw that it was Brian. He said you are on edge aren't you? I said a little, and laughed a little nervous laugh. We sat down on the couch and he asked what I was doing in Florida? I'm attending a conference and Nick offered me his house. I've been kind of dating him. Brian nodded and then I remembered he was here because he just broke up with his girlfriend. I'm sorry I said, I can be so stupid sometimes. He said it was all right. He said he was just going to go up and hit the shower. OK, I'll be leaving about 8:30 a.m. tomorrow for the conference. I said good night and he headed upstairs. I called Nick and he wasn't in. I left a message for him to call me no matter what time he got back. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. It was only 9 but I was tired. I woke up at 6 a.m. and Nick hadn't called. I got dressed and found Brian in the kitchen. He had made coffee and I made some toast. I asked him how he slept? His eyes were still burning with tears. I said I'm sorry. He said he'd be OK. I told him if he ever wanted to talk… He said thank you, but he'd be all right. I said I called Nick last night but he wasn't home. He never called. Brian said he was probably with his family. As I was leaving Brian met me in the garage with the cordless. He said Nick… I said I was just leaving, he said Brian told him I tried to reach him, he was at his family's house in the mountains. He never got my message. I said no problem, I have to go before I'm late. I ran inside and handed the phone back to Brian. He was really upset. I told Nick to call back in a few and I hung up. I sat down with Brian and said what happened? He removed his face from his hands and hugged me. I wasn't used to this. I felt a little awkward. I let him cry on my shoulder and then he apologized. I said you need to talk about this. It's going to kill you if you don't. He tried to speak but he was way too emotional. I eventually got that his girlfriend had cheated on him with one of his closest friends. I'm so sorry I said. He said it's the second time and he couldn't take her back after that. He said he still loved her though. All I could do was hold his hand. The phone rang again and I said let the machine get it. Let's go for a walk. We went out on to the beach and sat on the sand. He said Nick loves this place, it's so serene and he does a lot of thinking out here. I said is he dating anyone? Brian looked at me and said, I thought you two were dating? I said well, I'm not sure. We flew back to Los Angeles last week and when we arrived, this really pretty girl met him at the gate and from the way she was acting, she was not a sister. He laughed and said it was probably Sierra. I just looked at him waiting for him to explain. He said she's an ex-girlfriend, but since we've gotten more popular she wants Nick back. Nick doesn't have the heart to tell her to go. She was his first love, but he's over her. I smiled at that. Brian said what about your conference? I said it was boring anyway.

Chapter 9

We sat on the beach for awhile without speaking a word. I was deep in thought about Nick and Brian was thinking about his ex-girlfriend. I got up and said I don't know about you, but I'm starving. He smiled and he held up his hand to me. I helped pull him off the sand and we walked back to Nick's house. We ordered a pizza and sat and watched a movie on cable. The phone rang and I answered. Nick said I thought you had a conference. I told him I didn't go. He said does that mean you're coming home? I looked at Brian and said not yet. I said it was Nick. He smiled, I got up and walked upstairs and said, his friend was having a hard time with the breakup and I couldn't leave him alone. He said he sounded pretty bad yesterday. I said he's a little better today. We walked on the beach and ordered pizza and we were watching a movie right now. I said maybe you should talk with him. He said sure. I walked back downstairs and found Brian asleep on the couch. Too late, he's asleep I said. I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and covered him up. I walked back upstairs and talked with Nick for a few more minutes. I said I think Brian has the right idea, I'm going to take a nap too. Nick laughed and said that house does that to you. You get all relaxed. I laughed and said good bye. I think I dozed off for an hour when I felt someone climb into bed with me. I froze up and was so scared to even turn over. I finally got up enough nerve when I heard Brian sobs. I sat up and said what's wrong? He apologized for barging in, he said he just couldn't be alone right now. I said it was all right. He got under the covers with me and wrapped his arms around me. He told me I smelled really good. I said uh, thank you. A few minutes later he was asleep. I slipped out of his arms and rolled over and fell asleep. When I woke up he was gone from my bed. I got up and brushed my teeth and headed downstairs. Brian was sitting on the couch and when he saw me come downstairs he looked a little embarrassed. I plopped down next to him and asked if he felt any better. He said a little. He's sorry he did what he did. I said it was all right. I was a little scared to be here anyway. I think I got some good sleep. I smiled and he smiled too. He reached for my hand and asked what I wanted to do for dinner? I said I don't know we have some pizza left over. He said let me take you out. I said no that's all right. He said you haven't tasted Florida's nightlife. I said do you feel up to it? He said he did. OK, then when? He said give him some time to make some plans. He got up and went upstairs. I flipped through the channels and Brian came downstairs with the cordless telling me it was Nick. I took the phone from him my hand brushing his. I smiled and said hi. Nick asked if everything was going all right? I said it was. Brian seemed to be coming out of it now. He said that was great. He said everything was in place for this weekend. I said what about this weekend? He sounded a little disappointed and said you're coming to the mountains with me. Oh, that's right, I've just been preoccupied with this conference. Sure, I'll be there. I hung up and I heard Brian get into the shower. I went upstairs to find something to wear. I picked out my basic black dress and when I heard the shower turn off I turned on the shower in Nick's room. I got dressed and curled my hair and put on my makeup. I met Brian downstairs and he looked great. He said Wow, when he saw me. I said is it too much? He said no, I looked great. We headed out to his Cherokee parked in the driveway. His taste in music was a little different, more sentimental, mostly ballads. We arrived at the restaurant and he escorted me inside. We sat down at a table and he sat very close to me. I excused myself and went to the ladies room. When I came back I sat a little further away from him. We ordered some dinner and made small talk until the food arrived. He was a handsome guy. How anyone could hurt him was beyond me. He's very sensitive and soft spoken. He gives me the chills when he talks sometimes. He also has a playful side. Once we finished dinner he took me to a club. We had so much fun, we danced and laughed as he made fun of the couples around us. We also drank a little too much. We ended up back at Nick's house around 1:30 a.m. We had stopped off and got some food as we had worked up yet another appetite. We didn't go to bed until 5:30 a.m. I was awakened at 9:30 a.m. Nick said he'd tried to call last night but no one answered. I said Brian took me out and we didn't check the answering machine. He asked if I was all right? I said I'm just tired we didn't go to bed until 5:30 a.m. He didn't like that. He said so what's going on with us? I said huh? He said your spending an awful lot of time with Brian. I said he's your friend. He said I'm beginning to wonder. I said look we went to dinner and dancing and that's all. Nick was silent. I said you don't believe me? He said that maybe we shouldn't get together this weekend. I just hung up the phone. He made me so mad. This was his friend, not mine. What is it with men and their insecurities? I turned over and tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't so I got up and went to Brian's room. It was so dark. I sat on the bed and repeated his name until he woke up. I said Nick and I just had a fight on the phone. He sat up and said why? I said he doesn't like me here, with you. I think he's jealous. Brian apologized. I said it's not like we were even really dating. I went out with him a few times but that's it. Brian asked if I had feelings for him? I guess so I said. He said you need to go back to California.

Chapter 10

I said I'm just so tired. He said lay down with me then. I got into bed and fell asleep. When I woke up Brian was still asleep and I went to my room and called Nick. He wasn't home. I called the airlines and made a reservation for the first flight in the morning. I'd arrive in Los Angeles at 11:11 a.m. I tried to call Nick again but still no answer. I finally did get a hold of his cousin John. I said please call Nick and tell him to call me please. He said he would. At 9 that night I called John again and he said he gave Nick the message. I said to please tell him I was landing at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. I gave him the flight information and he promised to give Nick the information. I felt so bad, what have I done? Nothing, I thought. Why am I even letting a guy get to me anyway? I went into the kitchen and pulled out my computer and finished up some work and munched on some pizza. Brian came down and asked if I'd heard from Nick? No he's avoiding me right now I said. Brian apologized, I said it's not your fault. We sat up and talked again until about mid night. I told him I had to go to bed I have a 7 a.m. flight so we should say good bye now. I got up and hugged Brian, he surprised me by kissing me on the lips. I pulled away but he pulled me back to him. His tongue found its way into my mouth as I gave in to him. He broke off and said he was sorry. I said I have got to go. I made my way upstairs and finished packing and then I climbed into bed. I was crying and didn't know why. I fell asleep and woke around 5 a.m. I went downstairs and found Brian sitting on the couch. He apologized for kissing me. He said he doesn't know why he just did it. I said it was all right, but why are you awake so early? He said he was going to drive me back to the airport. I said I'll call a cab, don't worry about it. He said he was up and he was taking me. I handed him my bags and he went and put them in the back of his car. I tried Nick again and this time he answered. I said hi, it's me. He said hello. I asked if he was still mad? He said he wasn't mad, he was more embarrassed than anything. I said I'm leaving for the airport now. Will you be there to pick me up? He said he would. It made me smile and I felt a tear fall from my eye. I said I'd see you in a few hours then. We hung up and Brian said so he's not mad? I spun around and said, I don't think so. He said we better get going then. I said OK. Are you going to be all right here alone? He said he would be, thanks to me. I smiled and he helped me into his jeep. We drove to the airport and I got checked in and he waited for me at the gate. A few girls recognized him and he signed some autographs and talked with them a little bit. He said he had to see his friend off but he'd come back. He sat with me at the gate and he said he hoped he didn't make a fool of himself this week? I said, Brian you are so sweet. I think you helped me more than I help you over … He said I helped him realize that she wasn't right for him. I said how did I do that? He said by showing him that he could love again. What's that supposed to mean? He said nothing right now, but maybe later… the gate agent interrupted us. They were making announcements regarding boarding. I stood up and hugged Brian and told him to take it easy. He said have a safe flight and he'd be in touch. I waved to him and walked down the jet bridge to my airplane. I looked out the window but I couldn't see him. I sat down and settled in for the flight to Los Angeles. I slept most of the way and woke up for the last hour of the flight. The flight attendant asked if I wanted my meal now. I said that would be great, if it was no trouble. She said no trouble at all. She brought me chicken. She apologized and said it was all that was left. I smiled and said this was great. I was hungry and devoured every bite. She came back and took my tray and handed me a hot towel. I thanked her again and went to the bathroom and made sure I looked all right for Nick. I sat down and the captain was announcing our final decent into LAX. I fastened my seat belt and waited for the landing. Perfect again, I guess this airline isn't so bad. I made my way up the jet bridge in anticipation of seeing Nick. I looked around but didn't see him. I felt my heart sink. I walked down to baggage claim and retrieved my bags. Still no sign of him so I went outside and hailed a cab. I sat back as the driver took me to my home and I paid the fare and went inside. I had already gotten a message from Brian, welcoming me home. I called him and told him Nick didn't pick me up. He could hear the disappointment in my voice. He said something must have happened then. I said I don't know. There was no messages, only yours. He said he was sorry. I said well I'm going to head into the office. Brian said to call him later. I said I'd think about it. I took a shower and felt my body shake with sobs. I was wrong but I didn't do anything wrong with Brian. Now Nick was playing some childish games, so what do I do? I jumped out of the shower and dressed and headed for the office. I walked in and Joyce asked me how the conference was? Well the first day was boring, so I skipped the next two days. She laughed and said why did I stay then? I said I was staying with a friend. She smiled and asked if it was male or female? I told her to go back to work. She said that's what I thought and left my office. I told my secretary I'd be down in tailoring. She said OK. I walked down and inspected the completed costumes. They were almost finished. They looked very nice. I went back to my office and called their contact person to set up a fitting for the guys.

Chapter 11

Monday at 1:00 p.m. would be when they were all available. I hung up the phone and booked a room for them to use. I headed home and still hadn't heard from Nick. I wasn't going to chase after him. That just isn't who I was. Saturday morning Brian called and asked if I'd spoken to Nick? Nope, I said. He hasn't called or shown up. Brian said he got a call to fly to Los Angeles. I said the costumes are done and we need a fitting. He said great, he was coming in tonight. I said where are you staying? He said he hasn't made those plans yet. I told him he could stay here. He said that would be great. I took down his flight information and picked him up that evening. He looked tired, he said he wasn't sleeping very well. We drove to my house and I showed him the room he would be staying in. I told him it wasn't as nice as Nick's place in Florida. He said it was fine. He settled in and we talked about Nick. He said well you'll for sure see him on Monday. I said I guess I would. It was late and I went to bed. I told him I was going to church in the morning. He said he'd love to go with me, if that was all right? I said sure, it would be fine. I went to bed and no call from Nick. I woke the next morning and Brian was already up and dressed. I said I have choir practice so we need to be there by 9. He said no problem, we ate breakfast and headed to the church. My brothers did a double take when I got out of the car with Brian. I introduced them to Brian and we went inside. My brothers kept asking where Nick was? I said he dumped me. They said we'll take care of him for you. I said stop it. They all were laughing. They asked what was going on with Brian? I said he's very sweet and I just don't know what to think. Just then the choir director told us to stop talking or share. He led us through a few songs and I could seen Brian singing along with us. He knew all the words. After practice we walked out into the courtyard and talked before the service. I showed him where to sit and once the choir was through singing I sat down next to him. As I walked to my seat I saw Nick sitting in the back of the church. I told Brian that Nick was here. He turned and said where? I said last row on the opposite side. I saw Brian wave to him but I don't know if Nick waved back. My brother led us in prayer and then my brother Kenny and I were to sing a song. I went up and we sang our song and kept my eyes on Nick the entire time. Instead of taking my seat with Brian I sat in back with Nick. Kenny sat with Brian. I asked Nick in a whispered voice where he had been? He said he had a lot of thinking to do. He asked why Brian was here. I said he's here for the fitting tomorrow, why are you here? He looked so deep into my eyes I could feel myself melting. He said he was hoping to talk to me. I said that's not a problem. The congregation stood up to sing the next hymn. Nick found the song in the hymnal and sang in his angelic voice. I didn't sing, I only listened to him. I sat down and grabbed his hand. He looked at me a little unsure as to what to do. I asked him if he could forgive me. I was only trying to help his friend. He kissed me and said he was the one that was sorry. He slipped his arm around my shoulder and I scooted next to him. We listened to the sermon and sang another hymn. We met up with everyone in the courtyard and Nick and Brian shook hands. My brothers called them over for a basketball game again and Nick smiled and I told them to both go and have fun. My mom said it was nice to see Nick here again this week. I said it is isn't it? She asked who the little guy was? I said that's Nick's friend Brian. We stood around talking and then I walked over and watched them play. My brother told me to take off my shoes and play. I said yeah right in a dress? He just laughed, I asked if we were going to mom and dad's house? The said of course, why was this Sunday any different. I asked if they minded if Brian came along too. Nick stopped and looked at me. I said Nick and Brian. I want them both to come. Nick said he had to go, he had other plans. I walked him to his car and asked him what I did wrong? He said nothing, and then he said enjoy my day with Brian. He got in his car and drove away. He left me standing there in the parking lot. I turned around and walked back to the game. My brothers were like what's going on with him? I said well… I told them how I went to Florida and stayed at his house and then how Brian showed up and I went out with Brian. I said nothing happened. They told me that was cold. I said why, just because I went out to cheer up his friend? I didn't sleep with him. I had dinner and we hung out at a club. Brian said it wasn't like that. They said they believed us, they knew I would never do anything like that. I said well let's go to mom and dads. Brian and I got into my car and we followed the caravan to my parent's house. Once there the guys went outside and played basketball, for a short guy Brian was pretty good. I didn't play this weekend. Everyone was asking where Nick was today? I said he had other plans, he couldn't make it this week. It was finally time to leave and I drove us home. I checked my messages and no call from Nick. I went in and changed my clothes and sat on the sofa watching television. Brian came out of his room and sat with me. He said he'd be gone after the fitting tomorrow. I just smiled and said I'm sorry for ignoring you today. He said it was fine. He doesn't know what's up with Nick. I said well I'll find out tomorrow. We hung out at my house all day and went to bed early.

Chapter 12

I dressed in my shortest suit the next morning and Brian came with me to the office. Brian said Nick's here. I said where? He said his car is parked right there. I picked up the pace and headed up to my office. I dropped my stuff on my desk and told Brian to follow me. We went down two floors and met the other guys in the dressing room. Nick wouldn't meet my eyes. I said good morning to everyone and I asked for the costumes to be brought in. AJ said it's so tense in here, what'd I miss? No one spoke a word. My assistant came in with the clothes and the guys went and tried them on. They loved them. They thought the muscle tee's were a little tight and cut a little high but other than that they loved them. We sat down at the table and I had everyone sign the contracts. I walked up behind Nick who didn't seem to know where to sign and I leaned over him and pointed out the line he was to sign. He looked up at me and I smiled at him. I kept talking to the guys and explained that I would make two of each outfit and once they started touring if they had any modifications to just call me day or night and I'd take care of them. I made my way back to Nick and rested my hand on his shoulder and said now if there aren't anymore questions, I'll be heading upstairs to my office. Nick looked up at me again. I raised my eyebrows and smiled at him. I told them to have a great trip back to Orlando and it was my pleasure working with them. Brian asked Kevin if he could ride with him to the airport? Kevin said sure. I walked upstairs and sat behind my desk looking over proof for the next client when my secretary said Mr. Carter was here to see me. I said send him in. He walked in and placed all the contracts on my desk. I stood up and walked to him. He said he thought he would bring these up to me. I leaned into him and kissed him. He responded by hugging me closer. I miss this I thought. I backed up and looked in his face and said what's happening with us? He said he was very jealous and was having a hard time dealing with it. I said what did he have to be jealous about? He said he didn't know. I pulled him down and we sat on the sofa in my office. I said we've wasted so much time. He said so what about Brian? I said Brian is your friend. He said well he was at church yesterday and he went to your parent's house. I said you were there too. You bolted so fast after the game. You didn't pick me up like you said you were. What am I supposed to be feeling for you right now? He started to get up and I pulled him down. He was surprised by my upper body strength. I said Nick what's wrong? I said you're really pissing me off. Are we dating or not, I really need to know? He said we weren't. I said OK fine, now I know. I got up and sat behind my desk and went back to work. I felt the tears fall from my eyes and Nick came and sat with me at the desk. I laid my face in my hands, as I couldn't concentrate anymore. He asked what was wrong? I said nothing, is there anything else you need from me? He said why am I so cold? I said me? I said we're not dating right, so why do I need to explain this to you anyway. My secretary buzzed me and said Brian was on line 1. I picked up and said hello. He said he as just getting ready to leave. I said Nick was here. He said what's going on? I said he just told me we weren't dating. Brian said ooh. Why? I said I'm still waiting for him to tell me why? When I find out maybe I'll fill you in. Nick stood up I said oh, he's running away again. Brian said he just called to say good bye, he said to call him later. I said I would and told him to have a great trip. Nick before you go, he turned and said what? I said you promised my parents you'd go to their 40th wedding anniversary party. So what am I supposed to tell them now? He said bring Brian and they'd be fine. I said I don't want to bring Brian I want to go with you, why can't you see this? He sat down again and I moved in front of him. I placed my hands on his head and he pulled me to him. I said Nick I really like you, but you are not giving us a chance. He stood up and kissed me and said, he can't get enough of me and doesn't want to share me with anyone. I said I didn't want to share him with anyone either. He looked into my eyes and said can we get out of here? I said of course, where do you want to go? He said your place. I smiled and said OK, let me call my partner. I told her I'd be out for the rest of the week, if there was anything important call me on my cell phone. She told me to enjoy myself. Nick said I only asked for one afternoon. I said I wanted more than one afternoon with him, besides we never made it up to the mountain. He smiled and said do you still want to go? I said of course I do, and I grabbed my bag and told him to follow me home. We parted in the parking garage and Nick followed me to my home. I walked in the house and Nick was all over me. He was kissing me and his hands were roaming all over my body. He said which way? I led him by the hand and we went to my bedroom. He undressed me and laid me on the bed. He undressed himself and climbed on top of me kissing me and rubbing his member on me. I said I've dreamed of this. He smiled and kissed me deep as he entered me. It was unbelievable. We made love all afternoon. I fell asleep in his arms and woke with a smile on my face. I asked him if he had any doubts? He kissed me and said he didn't. I said when do you want to go to the mountains? He said in the morning as he climbed on top of me again. I said oh no and I rolled him off of me and climbed on top of him. I said it's my turn to please you. He looked up at me and smiled. I like you, he said.

Chapter 13

The next morning we loaded up Nick's car and headed up to his parent's house for the week. It took almost 3 hours to get there but the drive was wonderful. His parent's weren't home but I met his brother and sisters. We went for a walk down to the lake. About an hour later his mom and dad came looking for us. Nick and I were sitting holding hands and watching the people on the lake. His mom said I knew we'd find you guys down here. Nick got up and hugged them both and introduced me to them. It's nice to meet you they said to me. We followed them for a walk around their property and they pointed out what they were going to change. Nick and I went to the barn and looked at the new horses his parents had just purchased. We headed back up to the house and fixed some lunch. Nick and I carried our stuff up to the bedroom we'd be sharing together. It was a very nice room, I told him I'd been in his bed before. He looked at me and I said in Florida. He laughed and said that's right. I told him I loved his house. He said next time we'd go there together. I said I'd love to go with him. He pulled me to his chest and kissed me. I said Nick, I'm falling for you. He said he'd catch me. We messed around in his room for a little while and then went on a nature hike in the mountains around his home. It was very warm and we decided to head back and take a swim in his pool. We went up stairs and changed and as I was leaving the room he untied the top of my bathing suit. Nick stop it! I cried. I tied it again and made him go downstairs first. We made our way out to the pool and found his brother and sisters were already swimming, Nick jumped in without even testing the water. I sat down on one of the chairs and watched them play. I rubbed some sun block on my body and lay back on the chair. I felt cold water dropping on me as Nick lifted me off the chair. I was screaming not to throw me in, please I'll do anything I pleaded. He said anything? I said anything. He said OK, but he threw me in anyway. He jumped in next to me and started laughing. I hung on to him and told him I couldn't swim. He moved me into the shallow end and apologized for scaring me. I said I wasn't scared. Then I dunked him under water and tried to run away. He pulled me back and kissed me. I said not in front of everyone. He kissed me again and I slipped under the water. We spent the next 90 minutes lounging in the pool. Nick and his brother competed with dives off the diving board and Nick's sisters, BJ and Leslie wouldn't get their hair wet. I got out and dried off. Nick came up and untied my top again. Nick… I said with total shock. He said no one cares. I went inside and went up to our room He pulled the rest of my suit off and slipped out of his trunks. I said Nick this is too much too fast. He said I didn't seem to mind earlier. I said I didn't want our relationship to be only about sex. He stood up and went in and took a shower. He came out and seemed a little mad. I said are you mad. He said no, but I knew he was. He went downstairs while I showered. I stayed up in his room because I didn't want an altercation with him. I called in and checked my messages. Brian had called, I forgot to call him. I called him and he asked how things were going? I said I just don't know. He's mad at me again. He says he's not but I know he is. He asked where I was, and I told him at his parent's house. I said I don't know what to do. I have really strong feelings for him, but he doesn't seem mature enough for me. I heard the bedroom door close and Nick was staring at me. I said I have to go, I'll call you later. He said so I'm not mature enough huh? I said, it's not what I meant. He said he knew what I meant. He said maybe I should take you home. I said fine, take me home please. I packed my bag and headed downstairs and waited for Nick at his car. His brother asked if I was leaving all ready? I said yes, it was a mistake to come up here. He said why? I said Nick and I don't know each other well enough I guess. He said his brother thought you knew each other enough. I said he wants to take me home so I'm here waiting for him. Aaron said he hoped we worked it all out. Nick came out with keys in hand and stopped and talked to his brother. They kept looking back at me. Aaron hugged his brother and Nick opened the door for me. He put my suitcase in the back seat and we headed home in complete silence. Once we got to my house he got my suitcase out of the back of his car and walked me to the door. I opened the door and he set the suitcase down and started to walk out. I said Nick, don't go. He kept walking so I followed him out to his car. He opened the door and got in so I stood between the door and him. I said please don't go. He said he just doesn't know where this relationship is going. I said where do you want it to go? He just looked at me. I said Nick, I love you. He looked at me and I said I do. I just don't understand what you want. Come inside and let's talk about this. He said what is there to talk about? I took his hand and pulled him from the car. We went inside and I hugged him. I said I don't want our relationship based on sex. I'm not saying I don't want to have sex with you, I'm saying I want to know you better. He looked at me, I said what do you want from me? He held me and said he was so scared of being hurt. His last girlfriend was happy with their sex life and he felt maybe that was the way to my heart too. I took his and laid it on my chest. I said this is where my heart is and you already have it. He leaned down and kissed me. He started to say he was sorry, but I stopped him. I said I'm tired and want to get some sleep.

Chapter 14

He headed for the front door but I pulled him to my bedroom. I got undressed and changed for bed. He slipped out of his clothes and slept in his boxer briefs. I snuggled close to him and asked him if he was all right with this? He said he was if I was. We slept and the next morning I got dressed for work. Nick asked where I was going? I said to work. He said why? I thought you took the week off? I did but we're not in the mountains. He said can't we do something together here? I said do you want to? I knew what he wanted to do, I could see it from where I was standing. I said do you want to go to the beach today? He said that would be a great idea. I went looking for my swimsuit and put it on. Nick was just slipping into his swim trunks when his white butt caught my eye. Mmmmmm, I thought to myself. I threw my visor and some sunscreen into a bag and headed for the kitchen. My phone was ringing and I picked it up on the way to the kitchen. Hi Bri, I said. He asked why I was home already? It's a long story, but I'm working on it. He asked if Nick was with me? I said he was, we were getting ready to go to the beach. Brian said that sounded like fun. I said I hope it would be, we don't have a lot in common and I'm running out of ideas. Bri said to call him when I got back if I had time. So I hung up and threw some sodas and food in the cooler. Nick came in and started taking stuff to the car. He wrapped his arms around me and asked if I was ready to go? I said I am ready. We drove down to the beach and set up camp. We were there about an hour when I asked Nick to come in with me. He said he doesn't like to go too far out. No problem I said. We walked down to the water hand in hand and waded in a ways. I said let's go out further, but he declined. I said what are you afraid of? That was the wrong thing to say. I'm not afraid, what makes you think I'm afraid? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Nick turned around and headed back to the chairs. I stayed, I wasn't going to let him ruin my day. He's so different from Brian. Brian is so easy going and carefree, and fun. Nick was too much work for me. I decided that it just wasn't going to work between Nick and I. I walked back to the chairs and sat down and looked at Nick. He was of course pouting. I told him that even though I liked him I didn't think the relationship would work out between us. He got up and started packing up our stuff. I said we don't have to go. He didn't say a work, he just kept packing things up. I stood up and packed my things up too. I walked to his car and he didn't even open the door for me. I sat down and closed the door. Nick sped off and when we got back to my house he just sat in the driver's seat, he didn't even get out to help me. I opened the door and Nick popped the trunk. I pulled my stuff out of the trunk and closed it. He sped off when I was walking towards the house. I went inside and took a shower. I called Brian on the phone and said I just don't understand him. What happened now he asked? I told him what happened today and he said that doesn't sound like Nick. I asked him how he was doing? He said he was lonely. I said well, I have a week off if you want to come back to California. He said he'd be on the next airplane. He said he'd call me with the details. I went and changed the guest rooms sheets and dusted the furniture. I headed down to the store for groceries and when I got back there was a message from Brian. I called back and caught him as he was heading out the door. I said I went grocery shopping. He said his plane lands at midnight, terminal 7. I know it well, I'll see you later. I puttered around for a few hours and watched a movie. Nick called to apologize but he could tell by my voice that I wasn't interested anymore. I said Brian was coming tonight and I was picking him up at midnight. That just enraged him and he hung up on me. Whatever I thought, I un-paused my movie and when it was over headed for the airport. I found Brian's plane on the monitor, it had landed already. I ran up to the gate looking all over the place. I asked the gate agent about the flight and she said they hadn't gated yet. They were on the ground though. I went and waited as close to the door as possible. He was the third person off the airplane. I hugged him and welcomed him back. We went down and got his bag and headed out to my car. When we got to my house Nick was waiting for us. Oh shoot, I said. Brian said what? Nick is here. We got out of the car and Brian said hey Nick what's up? Nick threw a punch at Brian but missed. I said what's the matter with you? Nick asked if I slept with Brian? I said not that it's any of your business, but no I didn't sleep with Brian. Why is he here then, Nick asked? I said I invited him here. I have a week off with nothing to do and no one to spend it with, so I invited Brian to come out. He just stared at me, who am I he asked? I said, I really don't know who you are? What do you want from me I asked him? What do you want?

Chapter 15

Brian said why don't we finish this inside. Nick said yes why don't we. I walked to the door and opened the house. I told Brian to take the same room. What? Nick exclaimed. He's stayed here before? Yes, he stayed here the weekend of the fitting. Oh my goodness, Nick said. I can't believe it. I said nothing happened. If you can't trust me then that's not even an issue for us anymore because there is no us. Brian headed down the hall and dropped his bag into the room. I heard the bedroom light turn on and Nick just plopped down on my sofa. What happened to us? He asked me. I said there never was an us, Nick. We are not compatible, we don't have anything in common. I guess the two years age difference is too much. He said what can I do to fix this? I said Nick, you're too controlling for me. You have no trust in the opposite sex, I can't live like this. He asked me if I have feelings for Brian? I said honestly, I don't know. I feel like there is something between us. He's very confident and trusting. He's everything that you're not. I don't mean that as an insult. I'm just pointing out the obvious. A relationship with you takes too much of my energy. A relationship with Brian would be fun and carefree. I'm not saying that I'm interested in him that much. I don't even know if I want a relationship. I tried with you and I failed. I'm better off alone. Brian came out and sat in the chair across from me. Nick wouldn't look at him. He said I guess I should leave you two alone now. I walked him out to his car and told him I was sorry. I told him I really cared for him, but he was just too hard to love. He got into his car and drove away. I went inside and sat next to Brian. He asked what happened? I said I told him the truth. I told him he was too hard to love right now. What does he think of me staying here he asked? I said he doesn't like it, but it doesn't matter to me what he thinks anymore.

It was late and I was tired, both physically and emotionally. I said good night to Brian and went to my room. Around 2:30 a.m. my telephone rang, scaring me to death. It was Nick, he was upset. I said what's wrong? He wasn't making much sense and said something about no one loving him. I told him a lot of people loved him and he should try and get some sleep. He asked if I still loved him? Do I want to go here? I asked myself. Nick repeated the question, I said yes Nick, I still love you. I can't turn my emotions on and off like you can. He apologized and asked if he could come over? I said in the morning, not right now. I'm very tired. He said he'd be over later then. OK, I'll see you later. I hung up the phone and tried to go back to sleep. What did he want now? Well Nick never did show up the next morning. I don't know why, but I wasn't about to call him and find out either. My brother offered Brian and me, his suite for the Laker game tonight. Brian was so excited, he asked if it would just be the two of us? I said unless he wanted to invite someone. He said he was thinking of the fellas, they were all in town. I said sure, Brian called everyone and we all met up at my house at 5:00 p.m. that evening. Even Nick showed up, with that girl from the airport. I think her name is Sierra, yeah that's it. Anyway, everyone followed Brian and me to the Staples Center and we parked our cars and headed inside for the private suite. The game starts at 7:30 p.m. it was now 6:00 p.m. Once inside the suite we found food and beer and sodas. It was like a free party. I had never been here before and I was enjoying it, except that Nick was here with another girl. I cornered Brian and told him about Nick's phone call at 2 this morning. He looked confused and asked why he was here with Sierra then? I shrugged my shoulders and said I don't know why. I said if you're comfortable with this I had a plan. Brian smiled that Jim Carrey smile and said what? I said, now I'm not sure if this will make Nick mad, or jealous, so if you don't want to do this, I'll understand. He said he's game, he had Kevin, AJ and Howie, to protect him tonight. I laughed, I said I want to pretend that we're a couple. He looked at me and said, OK. With that I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I grabbed his hand and asked him to walk with me down to the bar. I don't like beer I want something sweet. He smiled and said all right. I told everyone who was listening that we'd be right back. Nick was watching us as we left. I ordered my Midori Margarita and Brian and I headed back. We passed Nick and Sierra on the way back to the suite. We ignored them, pretending to be only interested in each other. We walked into the suite and everyone was having a good time. People were eating and drinking and it was all ready getting loud in here. Brian was talking to the guys and I was just listening when Nick tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could talk to me for a minute. Brian leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and I walked out of the suite with Nick. He asked what was going on with me and Brian? I said who wants to know? He said I want to know. I said we're just friends. He said he could tell. I said I see you brought Sierra with you tonight. I thought you two were just friends? He looked away, I said I have guests I've got to go. He grabbed me and kissed me on the mouth so hard it hurt. I said don't ever do that again. I went inside the suite and was visibly shaken. Brian asked me if I was all right? I said I was, I downed the rest of my drink and headed out alone to the bar. I ordered two more and walked back to the suite. I noticed Nick standing across from the suite but I didn't let on that I saw him. I walked inside and took a seat down front.

Chapter 16

Brian sat next to me and I slowly slipped my Margarita and watched the shoot around. Brian was pointing out the players to me and then I told him I wasn't a Laker fan. He said you live in So Cal and you're not a Laker fan? I said I would be rooting for the New Jersey Net's tonight. He busted up laughing. He said I'd be the only one in the building. I said who cares. He was laughing so hard, I was trying not to laugh at him. He had already had too many beers. We were both laughing now. Nick and Sierra sat behind us and AJ asked us what was so funny? That just made us laugh more. Tears were falling from my eyes now and Brian wiped them away. I said Brian's laughing because I told him I was rooting for New Jersey. That sent Brian off again. I looked up at Nick and he had a smile on his face too. AJ said I was whacked. I said I don't like the Lakers. What can I say? Brian leaned in and kissed me again. He said I made him laugh, loud enough for Nick to hear. I sat in my seat and face the front. Brian leaned over and whispered in my ear, Is Nick getting jealous? I looked him in the face and nodded yes and kissed him again. Just then the announcer came on and introduce the New Jersey nets. I was the only one standing in the arena cheering them on. It also didn't help that I had just had 3 Midori Margaritas. They started to introduce the men one by one and I got loud! Brian was laughing his ass off. Even Nick was laughing now. They introduced the Lakers and I sat very still. I got up to go to the bar for another drink. Brian asked if I wanted him to go? I said enjoy the game, honey. I made my way out of the suite and ordered another Margarita. Nick was again standing outside and this time I walked over to him. He apologized for kissing me earlier. I said it was all right. I asked if he was going to come in and watch the game. He said in a minute. I looked into the deep blue eyes and melted. I didn't want to hurt him. But he brought Sierra so I turned around and walked back to the suite. He called my name, Kim. I turned and walked back to him. He asked if I loved Brian? I said no not love as in the sense of lover, love. I love him like a sweet friend. He smiled and I asked if that's all. He said for now. I turned and walked back to the suite with a huge smile on my face. I sat down next to Brian and he put his arm around me and said I missed the tip off. I said Nick just asked me if I loved you. His eyes got huge. What did you say, he asked me? I said I loved you like a friend, but not as a lover. Brian chuckled a little and then pretended to be sad. Keith Van Horn, of the New Jersey Nets, scored so I stood up and screamed. The people in the next suite looked at me and laughed. Brian pulled me down and said I was in dangerous territory. I laughed and said I had you to protect me. He laughed and then Shaquille O'Neil scored and he stood up along with everyone else in the arena and cheered. It went back and forth like that for a while. By half time the Lakers were up by 13 points. I got up and had a sandwich and a few Buffalo wings. I sat down and Brian said they have real food in here? Earlier it was just chips and fruit. I told him yes. Can I make you a plate? He said he would make it he just wanted me to come with him. I put my plate down and led Brian to the food. We returned and I noticed Nick was gone. I told Brian I'd be back, I had to powder my nose. He kissed me and I got up. Sierra was not having a good time. I smiled at her and she rolled her eyes at me. Whatever! I walked out and headed to the bathroom. Nick came out of no where and asked if I was going for another drink? I said no, the ladies room. He smiled and said he was wondering when I was going to come out. He walked me to the ladies room and waited outside for me. I walked out and he was standing there with Brian. They were talking pretty seriously, but not arguing or anything. I walked out and asked them what they were talking about. Nick looked away and Brian said, business that's all. I grabbed Brian's hand and said let's go back. Half time is almost over and I want to be ready for my team. They both laughed and we went back. Kevin asked where the rest rooms were. I told him and he left along with AJ and Howie. Brian filled up another plate of food and we went and sat down in our seats. I said, so what were you really talking about? He said you, meaning me. He wants you back. I said why did he bring Sierra here if he wants me back then? He said he didn't want to come alone, Brian repeated. Brian said he told Nick that if he had come alone, Kim would have probably gotten back with you. I looked and said why did you tell him that? Brian said he just did. The basketball players were taking the court again and I put it all out of my mind. I kept rooting for the Nets and Nick and Brian were laughing at me. The alcohol was taking it's toll on me and I looked at Brian and asked him to forgive me. I laid into him with the deepest kiss. My tongue in his mouth exploring every inch of his mouth. I released his face and he smiled and swallowed hard. I said it's the alcohol. I just had to kiss someone. With that he laughed. He pulled me to him and I rested my head on his chest. I whispered to him, that I missed Nick. He said should we pretend to fight? I shook my head no and said that it would surely look fake then. I sat up and dropped my face in my hands. Brian sat up and put his hand on my back and asked if I was all right. Nick asked if I was going to get sick? I laughed and said no, I was just all of a sudden tired. I told Brian I was going to lay on the couch for a minute. I'd be back.

Chapter 17

I laid down on the couch and scrunched up tight. I was cold now. Nick took off his jacket and laid it over me. I looked up and said thank you. He sat down on the floor next to my head and asked me if I was going to get sick. No, I said I'm a little weak. He said from what? I said I'm a diabetic and I have too much sugar coursing through my veins right now. It will pass in a minute, otherwise I'll take a shot. He said he didn't know I was a diabetic. I said not many people know. Does Brian, he asked? No, Brian doesn't know. He said can I get you anything? I said no, just sitting and talking to you helps. He smiled, I said if you need to get back to Sierra I'll understand. He said she was bored and fell asleep. He said he should just leave her here when the game is over. I laughed and he laughed. Brian stood up to check on me and Nick waved at him. Brian sat back down and watched the game. I said can you see the score? Nick strained but he said the Lakers were up by 18 now. I closed my eyes and said I think I will be sick. He looked at me and smiled. After a few minutes I was feeling better but I sat there anyway. I sat up and Nick sat up on the couch with me. It was now fourth quarter and the Nets were losing bad. Brian came up to check on me and put his arm around me and asked if I was all right. I'm better now, I just needed to lie down. He asked if I was going to come back and watch the last quarter. He helped me up and Nick got me bottled water from the fridge. Thanks I said to him, as I brushed his hand with mine. I sat down and noticed that indeed, Sierra was sleeping, or had passed out. By the end of the fourth quarter the Nets had lost pretty badly. I think the final score was 102 to 89. Anyway we all had a lot of fun. Brian commented that they had never played in this arena. I told him it had just opened. We stayed in the suite for another hour and watched some of the replay on the television. We finished off the sandwich and hot dogs and stuff. We decided to take the party back to my house, It was only 11:00 p.m. Nick said he'd be by later he wanted to take Sierra home. I smiled and said we'd wait for him. His face lit up. He woke up Sierra and I could see the disappointment on his face when she spoke to him. He didn't hold her hand or put his arm around her now. He just looked at me and I said see ya. Brian put his arm around my shoulder and we all left the suite. We made our way out to our vehicles. Brian had parked my car next to Nick's. Nick was getting in his car so I leaned against my car. It was a tight fit and he rubbed his body against mine. I could feel, as well as see his excitement. I waved goodbye and Brian came around and opened the door to my car. I asked him if he was all right to drive? He said he was. We headed back to my house with they guys and their dates in tow. Once back at my house I turned on some music and we all sat around talking. An hour later Nick rang my doorbell. Brian let him in, but first Nick pulled him outside. I learned later that Nick talked to Brian about me and Nick stated the fact that he still loved me and wanted me back. Brian pretended to put up a fight about it and then said my heart wasn't in it, I still had feelings for Nick. Nick brightened up when Brian said that. So Brian being the man that he is, stepped aside and let Nick back into my life. They both came inside and Brian sat down in a chair across from me. I tapped the open space next to me and looked at him. Just then Nick sat down next to me. I looked at him and smiled. Nick whispered in my ear that he needed to talk to me. I said now? He said it really couldn't wait. I stood up and he followed me into my bedroom and I closed the door. He sat down on the bed and motioned for me to do the same. I sat down next to him and he said he was sorry for treating me the way he did. He said I'm not trying to make excuses but, my last relationship taught me to be more reserved. I'm not as trusting and it's hurt our relationship. I'm sorry for that. I told him I forgave him for that all ready. He said he'd like to try again with me. I said well I'm kind of dating Brian right now. He looked down at his hands and sighed. I said well, we're just friends really. Nick grabbed my hand in his and said he promised things would be different if I gave him another chance. I said how would they be different? He said he would trust me, and respect my feelings. I said, I'd think about it. Well that upset him. I said don't be mad, you just told me you would change and now you're mad. He said he was sorry, he just hoped that we'd get back together. I said we might, but I'm not going to go through this revolving door relationship with you. Today we're dating, tomorrow you're mad at me. He said it wouldn't be like that. I said then trust me enough to let me think about it. My heart wants to be with you more than you know it's my head that's saying, whoa! He smiled and said he'd give me all the time I needed. He asked if he could kiss me? I said please do. He kissed me so passionately that my body was saying yes too now. I said we better get back we have guests. We went back into the living room and the guys and their dates were having a great time. They were playing quarters. I waved them off when they asked me to play. Everyone crashed at my house including Nick, even though he wasn't drunk. They all slept on the floor or sofas. Brian slept in his bed. At 7:30 a.m. my phone rang. I never heard it. I woke up to Brian and Nick standing over me. Brian had tears rolling down his face. I said what? That's when he handed me the telephone.

Chapter 18

I said hello into the receiver and my dad was on the other end. He was very emotional and upset. Dad what's wrong? Is mom all right? He managed to say mom was fine. It was Kenny. He was killed in a car accident early this morning. I felt my heart being ripped from my chest all I could do was cry. What are you sure? Brian sat down on the bed and held me. He hung up the phone and I just held on to him so tight. I forgot that Nick was even there. Nick woke up the others and then cleaned up the mess and very quietly left my house. Brian was laying down next to me with his arms around me. Nick just closed the door to my room, aching to hold me and console me. The next few days were a blur, I don't remember much. I called Joyce and told her I'd be taking more time off, due to the death of my brother. She was upset to hear about it. I asked Brian to drive me to my brother's house. He has left behind a wife and 4 children under 6. I somehow pulled myself together and Brian and I went to Kenny's house. I let myself in and hugged Sandy. I ached for her. They were so in love and now she was alone with 4 kids. Luckily Kenny was successful enough that she and the children would never want for anything. It still didn't repair the whole in our hearts, not to mention our lives. Brian sat with the kids on the floor. They really didn't understand what had just happened two days earlier but they did miss their daddy. Sandy said she wasn't going to take them to the funeral. I said in my mind that was a big mistake. She said how? I said 10 years from now they are going to ask you a lot of questions, it will come up that they never got to say good bye. She said she was going to bring them to the grave sight the day after he was buried. I said OK, I guess that's all right. She said he's your brother, what would he want? I said whatever you decided, that's what he would want for his children. We embraced again and then I told her to call me if she ever needed anything. Even if it's to get away for a little while. I'll take the kids. She laughed and said what would I do with 4 kids. I said love them. That made her cry. That's what Kenny used to say. I kissed her and the kids and told Brian we had to check in on my parents. I hadn't seen them since the news. I was dreading this meeting. When we got there Nick's car was parked out front. Nick was in the back shooting hoops with my brothers. Brian went and joined them and I went inside to find my parents. I've never received a stronger hug from them. I was there baby, and only girl. Mom said the arrangements were all set for tomorrow. I couldn't look at her, in all my 21 years I've never seen my parents so upset. My mom said it just isn't right, she should have died first, not her son. I held on to her and laid my head in her lap. I'm sorry mama I said through my tears. Kenny would never have wanted this for you. She stroked my head and said she knew that. Daddy was sitting beside mom and saying no, he wouldn't have wanted this. Brian came in and offered his condolences to my parents and asked if was all right? I said I'm fine, Brian said your brothers are asking for you. I kissed my parents and Brian led me out back. I jumped into David's arms. (He's the minister) I said why is this happening to us? He just hugged me tighter and said we'd know some day. Justin held me next and said he loved me. How are you doing he asked me? I said not good. Keith hugged me too. I said what are we going to do now? No one spoke a word. I saw Nick and walked over to him, he said he was sorry I was in so much pain and I just hugged him. I cried like a baby in his arms. I told him I missed my brother so much. My heart hurts I said. He just held me tighter and kissed my head. I looked into his eyes through my tears I told him I missed him too. He brushed my lips with his and pulled me to him again. I asked him if he was coming tomorrow? He said isn't that just for family and friends? I asked him what he was? He asked if I needed a ride? I said that would be great. I went and sat down on the back step and watched them play basketball in the driveway. I couldn't play, it hurt too much to think Kenny wasn't here anymore. I know it sounds awful, but I didn't want to be with my parents either. I couldn't see them like this. About an hour later I asked Brian to take me home. I went inside and said good bye to my parents. I'll see you tomorrow, I love you both very much. I kissed them both, they looked so frail now. I hugged my brothers good bye too. I hugged Nick and told him to come over later. He smiled and said he would. Brian took my hand and led me to the car. He helped me inside and then he got in on the driver's side. He hugged me and then we drove home. Once I got home I immediately got into bed and fell asleep. Nick came over and he and Brian entertained each other until I woke up. I apologized to Brian for falling asleep on him. He said not to worry. I sat next to Nick and put my head on his shoulder. The phone rang and Brian got up and took the call in his bedroom. Apparently he and his ex-girlfriend were talking things out. Since Kenny's death Brian has reached out to her. Not the girlfriend that cheated on him, but the previous girlfriend, Leighanne I think he said her name was. She's his true love. Nick asked if I was OK with that? I said I would be fine. He kissed my forehead and I told him I was starving. He laughed and said he was too.

Chapter 19

Nick left and brought back food for all of us. We sat at my dining room table and feasted on the burgers and fries Nick went to get for us. Nick surprised us both by asking Brian about Leighanne. Brian looked from me to Nick and said he was going back to Florida this weekend to see if things would work out for them. I smiled and Brian grabbed my hand, he said he didn't want to leave me when I needed a friend the most. I closed my eyes and nodded my head. Nick said it was nice of him to stay. I looked at Nick and realized he had changed somehow. Brian kept to himself most of the day and Nick and I were allowed a lot of privacy. He was learning to relax around me more. I cuddled up next to him as he read the newspaper. Brian came out to check on me and I told him I was in capable hands. He said good night to us both and went to bed. I had a headache and told Nick I was going to bed too. He brought me a glass of water and some Tylenol from my medicine cabinet. I changed for bed and Nick sat down next to me. He just looked at me, without saying a word. I asked what time he was coming back tomorrow? He said about 9 a.m. I said come back sooner if you can. He kissed me good bye, his lips lingering longer than he wanted. I pulled him on top of me and he kissed me deeper. This is the Nick I loved, I thought. He stood up and said he'd be back. I walked him to the door and kissed him good bye again. I went back to bed. I couldn't sleep the idea of putting my brother into the ground and never seeing his beautiful face or hearing his voice again was too much for me. I turned on the television to try to help. Brian came in and asked if I was all right? No I said, he lay down next to me and held me. He fell asleep and I watched television. At about 1:30 a.m. I heard a knock on my bedroom window. I peaked through the blinds and saw Nick. I motioned to him to go to the front door. I let him in and he said he'd stay with me, if that was all right. I said we'd have to wake Brian then. He looked at me funny. I asked him if he trusted me? He said he did. So as we walked to my bedroom I explained to him what he would find and why. He turned me around and said he trusted me. I kissed him and Nick woke up Brian. Brian said it's not what you think. Nick said I know, go back to bed, I'll stay with Kim. Brian looked at me and I told him I'd be all right. Once Brian settled into his bed, Nick changed and climbed into mine. With his arms wrapped tightly around me, I was finally able to get some sleep. We woke up and I took a long hot shower. I cried in the shower so that no one would see. I'm sure it was expected of me but I was tired of trying to be strong for everyone else's sake. I got out of the shower and started to get dressed. I stood there in a black suit with my long brown hair lying wet and limp around my face. I opened the door and found Nick standing in a white shirt and black pants. I tried not to look into his eyes. I didn't want to see his pity for me. I sat down on the bed and slipped my feet into my black pumps. Nick sat down and put his arm around me and I broke down again. There was a light knock on my door and Nick said come in Brian. Who else could it be? Brian knelt at my feet and asked if there was anything he could do? I shook my head, but thanked him anyway. He kissed my hand and said we should eat. I wasn't hungry, Brian said he knew it would be hard for me but I would need my strength. Nick said besides, you need to for you blood sugar. Brian looked at me, I told him I was diabetic. Is that what happened at the basketball game? I nodded my head yes. I told them I'd be there in a minute. I called my brother David and told him I was having a very hard time this morning. He told me the pain would pass. We just have to get through the day. We lost Kenny, but we didn't lose the memory of him and that's how he was going to conduct the ceremony today. I told him I'd be there, I told him I loved him and made my way to the kitchen. I sat down and watched as Brian and Nick cooked and played around in the kitchen. They were like Laurel and Hardy. They were cut ups. Brian turned around and did a double take. He said, Kim hi, how long have you been there? I smiled and said since the egg thing. They both laughed and placed a plate in front of me. I looked at the amount of food on the plate and the two of them. What they said in unison? I said can I have another plate? Nick grabbed another one and I hardly dented the food on the plate as I took some off it. I pushed the original plate aside. They both laughed at me. I actually enjoyed my breakfast forgetting all about my brother's impending funeral. I went to brush my teeth and finish my hair. At 9:30 a.m. we headed to the funeral home. I met Sandy and her parents, she looked so sad and beautiful at the same time. The two youngest were at home with the sitter and her two oldest 6 and 5, were both here with her. My parent's were distraught and Nick and Brian were with them both. I walked up and hugged my dad. Mom looked at me and I kissed her cheek. She said this is just not right, it should be me. David came out to check on me. I told him I was doing much better thanks to Nick and Brian. He said he knows better to ask, but what's going on with Nick and Brian? I turned to look at them. I don't know why do you ask? He said, are you dating Nick or Brian? I said I'm not dating either of them right now. He muttered that he knew better than to ask. Kenny had a closed coffin, apparently the sight was not good. Poor David had to identify him and it had affected him profoundly.

Chapter 20

Kenny was the oldest, followed quickly by David. Those two had always shared a room together growing up. Kenny was out going and David was a little shy and reserved. Keith and Justin followed each 2 years apart, and then 7 years later I came into the world. My mother thought she had the flu, after 4 kids, how could she think it was the flu? We took our seats, I sat in between Nick and Brian. My brother started us off in prayer and then told us this was a day of rejoicing and should not be a day of sorrow. It was hard to think of the day as being joyous, but I held my tongue. He said rather than dwell on the bad, he was going to tell us all a story and he hoped his brothers and sister would join in. It shocked me, he certainly had my attention now. He started out by saying that Kenneth Steven Anderson was born on March 15, 1965. He was the first of 5 children born to Kenneth Steven Sr. and his wife Faith. Kenneth was a born leader and very social. Once when he was about 3 he got lost in a store. My parents were frantic, they'd looked all over for him. They found him sitting with another lost child trying to console her as he searched for her parents. My dad heard Ken's little voice say, "is she your mommy?" That was Ken, always helping someone in need. Justin walked to the front of the church and said, I remember when we were teenagers. Ken had just gotten his license and dad wouldn't let him take the car out. So we tried to sneak the car out of the garage and ended up backing it into the side of the house. The house was fine but there was a dent in the back of the car that couldn't be fixed and wouldn't be missed by my father. We lied and said we accidentally hit it playing baseball. Keith came up and said he remembers Ken's bachelor party. We all got him so drunk that when he passed out they drew all over his body, when he woke up the next morning for his wedding he couldn't remember what had happened. Then he looked in the mirror and said the cartoons all over his body and almost died. He was extremely read during his wedding to Sandy and not because he was embarrassed. It was from all the scrubbing he did trying to get the body paint off. They were motioning to me. I slowly walked to the front of the church. I said as much as my brothers have entertained you, I can not help but remember what a great brother, father, husband, son, and friend he was. He would give his right arm to help anyone in need. I remember him trying to teach me basketball. A favorite past time of the Anderson's. Ken was almost 13 when I was born. He took me everywhere with him. I think because girls thought it was sweet of him to take his baby sister with him. He eventually found Sandy and they were married in this church by our brother, and have four beautiful children. I miss him so much, I cried. With that my brother thanked me for making everyone so happy. Our friends and family laughed. We went back to our seats and Brian and Nick each held one of my hands. The service eventually concluded and we headed for the cemetery. This would be the hardest part for me. As we followed in succession to the cemetery and stopped in front of an area where my brother would be laid to rest, I couldn't get out of the car. I was so scared. Nick said you'd never forgive yourself. I took his hand and we sat by my brother's coffin. Each of the family laid there hands on his coffin and said one last goodbye as his coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. My mom had to sit as her eldest son was lowered into the grave. Dad was no comfort as his namesake was gone. David and his family were staying with mom and dad so we all went back to the house for lunch, which no one touched. My brothers and Nick and Brian went out back to play basketball. I watched from the back stoop. They wanted me to play but I couldn't. Not without Kenny. Kenny's children sat with me and asked why everyone was so sad? I said because like you, we won't get to see your daddy anymore. Kenny said his father was in heaven with God and that was the best place to be. I agreed with him. I told him my heart hurt that I couldn't play or talk to him in person anymore. Natalie was quite quiet. She didn't quite understand what was going on. She had just turned 5, and didn't know why her daddy was in a box in the ground. She wanted to know if he had a blanket. I assured her that her dad was quite warm. I motioned to Nick and Brian that I wanted to go home. I kissed my parent's goodbye and said a tearful goodbye to Sandy and the kids. She had decided to move closer to her parents in Oregon. I couldn't imagine her not being here. I tried to talk her out of it. Her family has lost so much already. Why leave your friends and family here? Not to mention uprooting the kids from their cousins and friends. She said it would be easier. We drove home in silence until Nick asked what we would do for dinner. I laughed and couldn't stop laughing. I sat in the back seat and they both turned and looked at me. I said why don't you stop at McDonalds? So we did, life goes on right? The next day Brian was going back to Florida. I told him I would miss him so much, he's been my rock. He kissed me good bye and then he hugged Nick. We stayed until his airplane left and Nick drove me home. He asked if I would be all right alone? I told him I'd be fine, he had to go home but he'd be back later. I gave him a spare key to my house, I told him I felt like sleeping so just let yourself in. He kissed me good bye and left.

Chapter 21

I did a little work and fell asleep with my laptop still on my bed. Nick came and closed it up and took a shower and climbed into bed with me. I woke around 11:30 p.m. Brian called to say he had gotten home safely. I was glad to hear that. I told him to keep me posted on his relationship, and I wished him the best. He said thanks, he would do that for me. I hung up the phone and I said I love you Brian. He said ya, I know. Nick said you love him? I said like a brother, I love him like a brother. Then I thought of Kenny and my tears returned. Nick sat up and pulled me down so that my head rested on his bare chest. Why did this have to happen to my family I cried? Nick sat there quietly unable to answer. I looked up at him and asked him to make love to me. I need to feel you Nick. He asked if I was sure? I said I need to feel good again. With that I stripped off my clothes and Nick removed his boxers. He made love to me and I really did feel better, just a little. I told him afterwards that I was going back to work tomorrow. He said it was too soon. I said I've got to keep myself busy, sitting around here all day isn't going to make it any easier. He agreed with me and said he'd meet me for lunch. We slept naked in each other's arms and Nick woke me the next morning for work. He even drove me in, he didn't want to leave me he said. As I walked to my office, I was receiving condolences from my staff and partner. I thanked them and told them how much it meant to me. I locked myself in my office and stared at the walls for about an hour. My phone ringing frightened me. It was Nick checking up on me. I told him I was fine, I was just starting another project now. I had to fly to New York for the weekend and invited him along. Sure he said, I told him I'd make the arrangements and I'd see him for lunch. He said he'd be by around 12:00 p.m. I hung up with him and my secretary walked in with a dozen roses. I said who are those from? She handed me the card and left. Nick sent them, he must have been calling to see if I got them. I read the card, "You're always on my mind." I called him back. I told him I received his flowers and they were beautiful. He said he couldn't wait to see me. I said well come and pick me up, we'll leave early for lunch. There isn't much for me to do here anyway. He said he was on his way. 30 minutes later I was kissing him. We went out for lunch and Nick asked if I'd made the arrangements for New York? No, I haven't gotten to it yet. I told him it was just a one day trade show, but I needed a change of pace and thought we'd leave Thursday and come back Saturday. Nick said why not stay until Sunday? I said or Sunday, it's fine with me. He is such a sweet man once he let's his guard down. I cuddled next to him and enjoyed his smell. He asked what I was thinking about, as I was sitting so quietly? I said you actually. I'm glad we've cleared the air between us, I so much prefer this side of you than the jealous one. He kissed my forehead and said he does too. We walked back to my office and I packed up my things and left for the day. We went to a movie to keep Ken off my mind. My mom calls me everyday and it really bugs me. She's been calling all her kids since Ken's death. I told her I was going to New York and couldn't be reached, she almost freaked. I told her Nick was coming with me so if anything happened, not that anything would, we'd be together. Nick and I flew to New York and took in the sights and had a great time. Two months later I got the call that the costumes for Nick's band were ready. I called Brian and then Nick and we set up a date for them all to come in and try them on for a final fitting. I had a huge dressing room reserved and I had a wardrobe rack filled for each guy. AJ had a few extra pieces as a bonus. Once the guys showed up they all offered their condolences. Brian was the last to show up, although we still talk every week I haven't seen him in over 2 months. When he walked in, I cried and hugged him. Nick looked a little nervous but he played it really cool. I sat down with Brian and asked him how things were going? He said that he was still single but getting used to it. He hoped that the tour would keep his mind occupied and off that fact. I smiled and told him there were lots of women out there that would love a piece of his heart. He said that's the problem, he wanted to give someone his whole heart and not just a piece. Aw, that's so sweet Bri. He smiled and asked how things were with Nick and I? I said they are great. He's changed totally. AJ walked out in his leopard sprint Speedo and socks. I busted up laughing. Everyone turned to look at him and they too laughed. I told Brian to go try on his costumes. Nick looked so good in his muscle T-shirts. He said they're still tight and cut to low here. I said that's the way I like it. He laughed as I sang to him. A few of them needed a few adjustments but nothing that couldn't be taken care of. They were very satisfied. They would start touring soon. We were going to another game tonight the Lakers VS. the Utah Jazz. They were excited, they knew I'd be routing for Utah and were looking forward to the fun.

Chapter 22

Well the guys are touring now. I don't see very much of Nick anymore, or any of them for that matter. At first we kept in contact by phone, but our lives are very different. I travel a lot and so do they. The phone calls have stopped all together now. I still get postcards from Brian though. We have a deep bond, I just can't explain it. My parents are finally putting Ken's death behind then and Sandy decided to stay after all. I still run my company with Joyce and I've learned to distance myself a little bit and let my employees work for me. I still handle the big accounts but I've learned to trust other people to land the accounts. Brian invited me to the last concert of the century. It would be in Florida. I was nervous as Nick and I had not spoken for 4 ½ months. I asked Brian if he knew I was coming? Brian said he just thought of it so probably not. I said don't tell him, I don't want him to feel awkward about it. He promised he wouldn't tell him. I boarded the airplane to Florida with mixed emotions. Would I see Nick and want him back? Or would he be with someone else? I decided to dress to the nines and after I landed and made my way to my hotel I called Brian. I'm here I said into the telephone. He seemed happy to hear my voice and said he was on his way. An hour later he stood in my suite and we hugged. I asked how everyone was? He said well, I don't know how to tell you this but Nick's got a new girlfriend. I said I kind of figured that. I haven't talked to him in 4 ½ months. He said but I still love you. I said ya, I know. He said no really. I love you, Kim. I'm not going to give Nick another chance he blew it. I said but we … He said we could try can't we? I said if it didn't work for Nick and I, how will it work for you and me? He said because we'll make it work. We've kept in touch all this time. I can't imagine not having you in my life. He leaned over and kissed me. It was just a small kiss at first but it developed into so much more. He said tell me that didn't mean anything to you and I'll never bring it up again? I leaned in and kissed him again. He smiled and said we have got to get to the arena. I said all right. I grabbed my purse and Brian and I climbed into the limousine and headed for the venue. Once we got there the fans were already lined up outside. When Brian got out of the limousine they went crazy. He stuck his hand out and helped me out of the limousine and we walked inside together. We found the guys in the back playing basketball with a make shift hoop. Brian said look who I found. Nick's eyes about popped out of his head when he saw me. I hugged the others and just said hello to Nick. I sat with Brian as they went over the game plan for the rest of the day. Nick kept staring at me, making me very uncomfortable. Brian said well I'm going to rest for awhile, we'll talk to you guys later and he led me to his dressing room in back. Once there we kissed some more and caught up on our lives together. I told him I was now designing for television and motion pictures. He said I was very talented and knew I'd be very famous one day. I smiled and said not as famous as he. There was a knock on the door and Brian invited his family inside. He said mom, dad, this is Kim. His mother said she'd heard so much about me. Brian blushed, I said oh really? I hope it was good, his dad said he just didn't tell us how beautiful you were. His brother barged in and apologized when he saw me there. I said you must be Brian's brother? He shook my hand and said you must be Kim. Nice to meet you he said. Brian said I'd sit with his family if that was all right with me. I said sure, no problem. We headed for the spread the arena had set up for their dinner. I ran into Nick's family and they remembered me from my one visit to there home. Aaron was taller than I remembered. He remembered me and asked how I was? Great, I said how are you? Good he said, Nick's girlfriend is not as nice as I remember you were. I said that's too bad. He asked what happened between us? You guys seemed really happy before Nick went on tour. I said that was the problem I guess. I sat home and worked and he stopped calling me. I was never officially dumped, but after 4 ½ months and opening a newspaper or two and reading about him and his new girlfriend, made it quite clear. I felt a tear betray me but quickly wiped it away. Brian came and said hello to Aaron and then we went and prayed and had dinner. After dinner the guys relaxed some more and then changed for the concert. They all looked so great. Brian said he was definitely recommending that I design all their costumes. I laughed and said that would be great. We sat on the sofa and kissed and talked. He said he really missed me and he got his heart broken again when I went back with Nick the last time. I promised I wouldn't go back to Nick. I said I'm not going to lie to you but I still have some feelings for him, but my head tells me that it's over. He said give him time to win my heart. I said you have my heart. We walked out and the guys got ready to go on. Before they headed for the stage, Brian hugged me and kissed me. I could see that Nick was uneasy and I walked to my seat with Brian's family. I didn't realize that we'd all be sitting together, all the families that is. I sat next to Nick's mom and Brian's mom. I tried to ignore them by dancing and singing through the concert. Brian came over and sang in my direction a few times. Nick pretty much stayed away from my side of the stage, which was fine with me. It was the last concert so there would be a huge party tonight. I was looking forward to it.

Chapter 23

Once they finished there encores they ran off the stage and the families held out their hands as the guys ran by. First Nick, then Brian and the others followed suit. Nick high fived my hand too as he looked deep into my eyes I felt my heart flutter. Brian stopped and kissed me and the rest of the guys were a blur. I followed Brian's parent's back stage and road over with them to a hotel. I stood around talking to everyone. Mostly to BJ and Leslie, they wanted to know what happened between Nick and I and when I started dating Brian. I said as for what happened between Nick and I, when they found out to please tell me. As for when I started dating Brian, he asked me tonight before the concert and I said yes. Brian seems more stable than Nick. I don't think Nick knows what Nick wants. He was supposed to be in a relationship with me and I open a newspaper and see that he's got another one. So that's history, anymore questions? They thought I was rude. I said hurt is more the emotion I'm dealing with, and I walked away. I headed for the ladies room. Once I composed myself I walked back out and found that some of the band and the dancers had arrived. I talked to them and the guys finally showed up. Nick walked to his latest girl and Brian was talking to his mother. I walked over to him and he smiled and kissed me. The party finally started and Brian and I danced and drank and ate and had such a wonderful time. I even danced with Brian's dad. It was weird but I had fun. The promoter thanked the guys for a successful concert and all the sponsors. He said a big thank you to the families and the girlfriends for putting up with the grueling schedules. Each guy got up and said something in return. Brian thanked the Lord above for the blessing's they'd had. His thanked his band mates and his family. He said baby I love you and passed the microphone off to Nick. Nick was stunned a minute and then thanked his family and friends, the band and then passed the microphone off to Howie. I stared at both Nick and Brian. Brian just smiled and made me feel warm inside. After that was done he came over to me and asked if I was having fun? I said of course I was, by the way, I love you too. Brian kissed me and spun me around. Nick interrupted and asked if he could dance with me. Brian looked at me and said do you want too? I said sure why not. Nick said so you got with Brian after all. I said at least with him I know I'm in a relationship. I don't have to read it in a newspaper that he's moved on. Nick looked at me and said what? I said I don't feel like dancing anymore. I walked away from him and found Brian. He looked at me and asked if I was all right? I missed you I said. He smiled and put his arm around my waist and continued talking to some of the band. I laid my head on his shoulder. He asked if I was tired? I nodded and he said well let's get out of here. We said goodnight and went up to our suite. We took the elevator upstairs and Brian had his hands all over me. I felt uncomfortable, I said Brian… I'm not ready to, you know. He said he wasn't either, he just wanted to lie next to me. I smiled and knew I was making the right decision. We entered the suite and I changed for bed. Brian had ordered champagne and turned on some soft music. He handed me a glass and said a toast, a toast to new beginnings. I smiled and clinked glasses with him. We drank our champagne and cuddled in each other's arms all night. The next day we drove to Brian's home and I stayed the weekend with him there. I asked him how this was going to work now? He lives in Florida and I live in California. He said he was thinking of moving to California. I smiled and said I know a place that's pretty cheap. He smiled and said oh really? I extended my stay to help Brian pack up some things to take back to California. As we were packing up boxes Nick came by. I was upstairs and he didn't know I was still in town. He asked Brian where he was going and Brian said he was moving to California to be closer to me. Nick said he really hurt me but never meant too. Brian said you blew it and he wasn't backing off this time. He loved me more than Nick did. Nick said he doubted that but he wouldn't make trouble. Brian said why didn't you break it off with her if you wanted to be with someone else? Nick didn't have an answer, he said the girl he was with now, he didn't love. Brian said, my goodness Nick. You have a lot of growing up to do. I bounced downstairs surprising Nick. I said oh, I'm sorry am I interrupting? Brian said no sweetheart, we were just talking about my move. I handed Brian another box and said this is bedroom stuff. He smiled and marked the box. Nick said so when are you leaving? Brian said tomorrow morning. Today we're shipping this stuff and we fly out at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow. He looked at me and smiled, he said you're still flying United? I said yes why? He said that's where they met. He was also booked on the 10:00 a.m. flight. That figured, I went back upstairs to finish packing up more of Brian's things. When I came down again Nick was gone. Brian was sitting on his couch deep in thought. I said what's wrong? He said he felt bad for Nick. Why? I asked. He loves you and he messed up. I've never seen him this hurt. I said what are you saying? He said nothing, I just feel bad for him, but like I said before, I'm not stepping aside this time.

Chapter 24

We drove down to Federal Express and had everything over nighted to my house. We went out for a quiet and romantic dinner on the ocean. Brian was so sweet to me and this is how I longed to feel. We drove back to his house and got ready for bed. I told him it was all right now, I was ready to make love to him. He said it's not personal, but he wasn't ready. He told me he was still a virgin and was saving himself for his wife. I smiled and said you never cease to amaze me. He kissed me and asked if that was all right? I said of course it is. I cuddled up close and fell asleep in his arms. Even though he was still a virgin I couldn't help smiling as I felt his excitement welling up behind me. We woke early and had a quick breakfast and headed to the airport. We checked in and made our way to the gate. Nick had all ready boarded he was sitting behind us. Brian and I both said good morning and then we sat down and settled in for the long flight home. Brian and I held hands all the way. Brian was not afraid to fly and his calmness eased me somehow. Once the airplane landed we went out front and waited for a taxi. Nick said he'd give us a ride home. I said it was okay, we'd be fine. He said he had something that he had to pick up anyway. I said I sent them to your parent's house all ready. He looked hurt and said, okay he'd see us around. A taxi stopped for us and Brian and I climbed inside. I gave the cab driver the address and we pulled away from the curb. Once we got home we unpacked what we had with us. A few boxes were left on the doorstep and so we unpacked those. I cleared out some space in my closet for Brian's clothes and I gave him my armoire for his clothes. I moved all mine into my dresser. We sat out back and watched the sunset, something Nick and I never did. I hated to compare them, but I couldn't help it. Then this beautiful song came on the radio, it made me cry. It's a song by Monica called Angel of Mine. I told Brian it reminded me of him. That became our song after that. A few months later I was at work it's was Christmas Eve and Brian was taking me to Kentucky to visit his family. I received a package and opened it. It was a gift from Nick. I opened the box and found a beautiful angora sweater. There was a note underneath it. I read it out loud and Brian said he's still hurting. I said I'm sorry but I've moved on. Brian smiled and I asked him if he wanted me to send the gift back? He said why don't you like it? I kissed him and told him I loved him. He said what was that for? I said most insecure men would have me return the gift. He said he had no reason to be insecure, or did he? I smiled and said no he had no reason. We flew back to Kentucky and spent Christmas with Brian's family. Kevin was there too, Brian's mom and Kevin's dad were related. Kevin's dad passed away 9 years ago though. I'd never had so much fun. We played football in the snow and went sledding with his little cousins. The visit was over too soon. I was just getting to know his family and now it was time to go back to California. Brian and I traveled everywhere together. If I had to go out of town for business, which was less and less now as my business was booming, or if Brian had to travel for something for the band. Time healed the nervous tension between Nick and I. Then came the news of my father's passing, less than a year after Ken. I was devastated and Brian and I flew back from Tennessee to help with the arrangements. At the funeral I was surprised to see Nick. He said he felt he had to come he couldn't stay away. Dad was laid to rest next to Ken and the emotional service that my brother gave was nothing like the one he gave for our brother. David had the hardest time getting through it. We all went to my parent's house afterwards and it was decided that mom would move in with David and his wife. I said what about mom and dad's house? David said he would sell it? I couldn't let that happen. I said I was born in that house, there is no way I would let him sell the house. He had too though, so I bought it. Brian said it was a great idea. Mom and dad's belongings were eventually cleared out and I put my house on the market. Brian said he'd buy it. I said but you live with me. He said but what if… I just looked at him, he said never mind. My house took 2 months to sell, Brian and I were settling into our new house. We had so much room now, we commented how our voices echoed in here. We were finally laying a foundation to build on. The following Christmas Brian proposed to me and I accepted. We would be married by my brother in a small ceremony with just our closest friends and family present. No brides maids or groomsmen, I asked Sandy to be my matron of honor and Brian's brother stood up for him. After the ceremony we headed back to our home and Brian carried me over the threshold and into the party where everyone cheered our arrival. David said he was glad that the walls of this house would again hear the laughter and pitter patter of tiny feet. I looked at Brian and said they're expecting kids. He said so was he. I laughed and kissed him again. Nick congratulated us both and said he had to go. I told him he didn't have to go, but he insisted. He felt out of place here now. Brian pulled me away and said he wanted to dance with his wife. I was lost in the moment and in my husbands arms. I was happy to be Mrs. Brian Littrell.