My Memorial to a Wonderful Father

The story I'm about to tell is about my daddy and the nightmare that he had to live for almost a year. After 7 months of pure hell, daddy is at his final resting place now. He passed away on April 13, 1998 at 5:30 a.m. Mom, a Hospice nurse, and myself were there to say our final "goodbye".

The Purple Ribbon represents the fight against cancer! Most of the graphics on this page represent things that daddy dearly loved.

Before I get started with my story of daddy's experience, I just want to say that life is too short! There is so much that we take for granted and one of those things is the love that we have for our families. Parents, children, grandchildren, etc... don't live forever. Some aren't even lucky enough to make it to old age due to cancer, heart attacks, stroke, you name it. When catastrophies like these happen, we tend to think "Why didn't I spend more time with him/her?" or "Why couldn't I have told him/her how much I loved them?" These are questions that I ask myself all of the time. I was fortunate enough to have had 7 months with daddy to try to make up for the times that I didn't spend enough time with him or didn't tell him I loved him as often as I should have. Please don't ever take your family for granted! Or you just might be asking yourself these same things.

A little background of my daddy

My daddy was born March 23, 1940. He married my mom on June 21, 1962 in a small town in Illinois. My mother wasn't quite 18 yet, so they had to go to a place where you don't have to have the parents permission to marry. They soon moved to Tucson, Arizona because he was enlisted in the Air Force there. He was originally a Military policeman but, due to his panic attacks, he was moved to another position. They were afraid for him to be carrying a gun because of his panic attacks.

On June 25, 1963, I was born at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tucson. They almost lost me and my mom because she had toxic poison while she was carrying me. She had gained over 60 lbs. and I only weighed 6 lbs 3 oz. when I was born.

In 1966, after daddy's tour of duty was over, we moved back to Kentucky where our family lives. Soon after, daddy got a job at Whirlpool (where he would be an employee all the way up til he died).

Daddy has one brother that was really more than a brother to him. They were BEST FRIENDS. They had the kind of relationship that most brothers only dream of. The death of my daddy is taking its toll on Uncle Jerry. He feels so lost now because his "best friend" is gone. :(

Daddy was an AVID University of Kentucky Wildcat fan. He and Uncle Jerry have watched their games since he was a small boy. He was also an AVID woodworker. He could do miracles with a piece of wood. I remember an old barn that Granddaddy had that had "seen better days". Daddy went there to get some wood from it to use for his "masterpieces". Once he was finished making his creation, you'd never know that it came from a broken down barn. He truly put his heart and soul in everything that he made. He would make end tables, cocktail tables, entertainment centers, desks, you name it. My home is a shrine of his work.

On March 29, 1997, I got married. My husband and I didn't want a fancy wedding so we decided to go to a chapel in Pigeon Forge, Tn. It was beautiful and so romantic. Little did I know how much that day would mean to me. A videotape was made of our wedding. Daddy, Grandmother and Granddaddy were there. My mother had to take care of her elderly mother and that's why she was unable to make it. Daddy gave me away, Grandmother was my Matron of Honor, and Granddaddy was the Best Man. Little did I know that would be the last major event in my life that daddy would be able to share with me. I will always cherish that tape. But, since his death, I have not been able to view it. With time, I'm sure that I will be able to, but not now.

Around the end of September of 1997, my mother came by to pay my husband and I a visit. When she arrived I could tell that something was on her mind, but I decided to wait and let her tell me when she was ready. All of a sudden, she burst out in tears. She told me that she had to take daddy to the emergency room the day before because he couldn't use the restroom. Something was blocking it. Well, they did a series of x-rays and the doctor came back to tell daddy that they found a tumor on his kidney about 4" long. He would have to do a biopsy on it to find out if it was malignant, but he was pretty sure that it was.

Well, sure enough, it was malignant. But that was only part of it... they found 3 spots on his lungs and a "suspicious" spot on his liver. They tell us that the tumor on his kidney had been there for at least 10 years, maybe longer!!

A couple of weeks later they started daddy on a fairly new treatment called Interferon and Interluken. The Interluken is supposed to build up his immune system while the Interferon is supposed to kill the tumor. The doctors said that the success rate was around 20% (not very good). The thing with these two treatments is that it makes one very ill for a few hours after they take it. It's kinda like the flu, they have real bad shivers, high fever, etc... and daddy had all of it.

Well, anyhow, this went on for a couple of months. After he had gone thru about 12 treatments it was time for him to get another CT Scan to find out how things were looking. Oh, I should mention that daddy was feeling GREAT! He was walking around, doing things around the house, and if you didn't know he had cancer, you would never have guessed it. The doctor even said that.

The doc came back with the results of the CT Scan. I took off work that day to be with him and mother. According to the CT Scan, there was very little change in the tumor. He did say that it looked like something was going on with the inside of the tumor, but he didn't know what. In other words, daddy basically was in remission. We figured that the tumor had started breaking apart from the inside because not long after he started taking the treatments, blood clots started coming out. Sometimes they were so bad that he had to be admitted to the hospital so they could dissolve them and he could go to the bathroom again.

One morning while daddy was having his coffee, he started having problems with his vision. We didn't think much of it because of the medication that he was on. But his vision started getting worse and than he started having seizures in his hands. His Oncologist wanted him to have a CT Scan done, but his Radiologist said that daddy needed an MRI also. So we took daddy to the lab where he had a CT Scan and an MRI performed. Waiting seemed like an eternity!

The results finally came back and the news was not good :( There was at least 3 lesions in his brain. The lesions were so deep in his brain that surgery was not an option. The doctors called off the Interferon/Interluken treatment and got him prepared for radiation treatments. This was right before Christmas. He had to go thru 10 treatments of radiation for his brain! He lost most of his hair in the process.

After the treatments were over with, he had to wait a couple of weeks before having another CT Scan done because his body was still radiating. Once the results came back from the CT Scan, the doctor had FINALLY given daddy some good news and hope for the future. He told daddy that one of the lesions had dissolved COMPLETELY, another lesion was almost invisible, and the other lesion was still there but it was in part of the brain that didn't perform any functions (whatever that means). He also said that daddy was in the 20% of patients that DO get results from the Interferon/Interluken. Man, we were sooooo happy. I knew that my prayers had been answered. Daddy was gonna get another chance at life :))

Boy were we way off base!!!!! THREE DAYS LATER, daddy was outside walking around and all of a sudden he fell and couldn't get up. He was paralyzed!!!!!! Mom rushed him to the emergency room at the "training" hospital to find out what was going on. We found out that the lesions were still there. In fact, they were bleeding now and daddy's kidney tumor was starting to grow. Just THREE DAYS LATER!!!!! The doctor said he just couldn't understand why the CT Scan didn't pick them up. hmmmmmm!

Daddy had to be admitted to a rehab hospital to learn to walk again. He was there for quite a few months and there was very little change, only that the tumors were getting bigger and multiplying now. They weren't able to do any treatments for them because he was on some medication to shrink the swelling in his brain.

On the day that they decided to release him, they had a meeting with mother to tell her that daddy was terminal and they didn't expect him to live two or three months.

April 11, 1998

Well, about two months have passed and we are on "death watch". We don't think that daddy will last thru the weekend. He's like a vegetable now. He can't walk, talk, eat, drink, or anything. He just stares in thin air now and struggles for air. It's so sad to watch someone that raised me, someone that I love very much, be in this shape. I don't want to let go of him, but I don't want to see him suffering like this anymore. Why did this have to happen?? I try to spend as much time with him as I can telling him how much I love him and that things will be alright.

April 13, 1998

Daddy passed away at 5:30 this morning. He was a trooper and fought so hard to stay alive. He didn't want to leave me and mom behind. It's a shame it took something like this for him to realize how so very much we loved him. He will be missed so much, but he's not suffering any longer. He's with our Lord now looking down upon us and I feel that I will always have him looking over me and protecting me and my mother now. Daddy would be 59 years old March 23rd. God Bless you daddy, may you rest in peace now!

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