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December 18th
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December 25 It is 9:20 pm and I just got the news that my friend and my daughter-in-laws Uncle Don is in the hospital, ICU, lungs filling, functions shutting down and the doctors don't expect him to make it through the night. Lord I ask you if it be your will, allow this man to live. He has done so much good for the prison ministries, helped so many people come back from a life of trouble, he has more work to do in your name. He is loved by his family and loves them back unconditiontally. He loves You, Honors You. Please, I ask that you allow him to go peacefully if it is time for you take him.AMEN
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None of us did much of anything yesterday. No one was feeling good. I kept mom in bed all day, mostly to keep her away from us but also because she said she wasn't feeling well, Danny was in bed all day too. God I hope she doesn't get this cold, it is miserable. I have to go up town today and dread the thought. We are having very cold nights now but at least it isn't raining!
Yesterday was a little better. I woke up in a very bad mood, I'm still not sure why. Mom woke up around 9:00am, had breakfast and watched t.v. in her room. She didn't want to come out until this afternoon but, she was awake most of the day, in fact she just went to bed and it is 2:23am. She was having a pretty hard time walking to bed, sort of stepping in place, then moving on a little. It is getting harder, physically, for her to walk well. She keeps saying that she doesn't think she will be around much longer and is O.K. with that. We received some mail today from a group of school kids in Australia. Their teacher had done a project on Alzheimer's in class and we were part of it. The kids all wrote us letters of encouragement and told a bit about themselves. Mom loved hearing the stories and realizing that she was known in a new part of the world. She said maybe she would make a mark before she dies instead of being another statistic. Pretty heavy thing for an Alzheimer's person to think let alone say.
Oh God, yesterday was terrible!! I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed and the problem wasn't my mom, at first. I went up town, deposited my check (whoopie), came home and finished cleaning house. Then my oldest son called and told me he was bringing my car back to me, he had been using it for the past couple weeks because his broke down. I was thrilled, finally getting it back but, it will stay parked now for awhile because the brakes are gone!! and I mean GONE. I will continue to use Robert's car even though I can only go 25mph because he doesn't have a drive gear, only 1st and 2nd and we can't get the tranny fixed right now. I decided to get in a better mood by finishing my indoor Christmas decorating, it was fun until I gave mom a little job to do, brush the lint off a floor mat. She was doing great until she got up to go potty, when she came back to her chair she was being VERY abusive because the 'thing' she was working on was gone, although I showed her that it was finished she didn't believe that was what she was working on so, she decided that she would get out of here and go to bed. Great. I took her in to her room and started getting her house coat off, she usually puts her arms out front so I can just pull it off. Not this time, she folded her arms in front of her, started yelling at me that I was hurting her when I tried to get her to move her arms, then started hitting me because I wouldn't leave her alone!! As if that weren't enough, I got a call that really upset me and wound up staying up all night. AHHHH! Today has to be better.
Well, yesterday was better. Mom is still being pretty mean and honery. She was so bad yesterday that I took myself and my dogs outside and sat for an hour. I left her in her chair in the living room still yapping when I walked out the door. She was much better when I came back in. She said she was happy that I came to visit her. I couldn't get her to bed until 2:30 this morning and then it was a struggle. I still haven't been to sleep. I will take a nap later though since she won't be up until afternoon anyway.
I never got to bed until 4:20 this morning, got up at 6:30 and I'm still up at 2:18 am. INSOMNIA. Mom is up with me watching 'Gone Fishin' with Danny Glover. It is pretty funny. We had watched 'Any Which Way You Can' earlier. We love that movie. Mom remembered the 'ape' and a lot of the movie. The old lady has always reminded me of mom, she used to be just like her. Mom has been in a good mood tonight, confused but a happy camper none the less. She is still not taking her medication and I really don't see much need for them. She is a lot more active, talkative and social without them.
I put mom to bed at 4:00 and I finally got to sleep at 6:15 am and got up at 10:30 am. Mom got up in the afternoon and was in a terrible mood. She started yelling at me because I told her she needed to change her Depends, the one she had on all night. She said she wasn't a kid and didn't what to be told what to do. Her mood got better as the day went on. She watched the Rockefellar Centre Tree Lighting ceremony last night. She was cute, singing along with the music, at least my dogs didn't start howling *SMILE*. She got depressed when Silent Night came on and started crying because her mom wasn't here to enjoy this with her. She was better after awhile because we watched 'Assassin' with Sylvester Stallone, her favorite hunk. She didn't go to bed until 1:30, I didn't go until 6:00 this morning and again got up at 10:00. Guess I really must have too much stress going on right now, I can't sleep for anything but I am so tired.
Mom was in a pretty descent mood today. She got up at 3:00pm and went to bed at midnight. My grand-daughters were here tonight goofing around with her, she enjoyed that. I have put my sleepleness to good work though. I created a new page, it is called Alzheimer's Worldwide, it provides several links to AD related sites around the world, at least the ones that I have found so far. If you know of any others that should be listed let me. I am going to take a hot bath now that everyone is in bed, that might do the trick.
Mom got up at 8:15 am and stayed up all day, she didn't go to bed until 1:00 am. She was in a good mood all day. She even had a bath last night, course she had an accident which is how I got her into the shower but, at least she got one. I didn't go to sleep until 5:00 this morning but, I didn't wake up until 12:30, HURRAY. I feel a lot better having gotten even a little rest. I think we may go get the tree today. It is really cold and rainy but I think Mom can handle it if she stays in the car.
I guess my 6 1/2 hours sleep was just too much for my system to get used to, here it is 3:57 am and I am still up. I'm not alone though, mom is awake also. She is in her bed but wide awake. She doesn't understand how a sleeper car can ride so smoothly and why the porter hasn't come in to check on her or even ask for her ticket. She's happy about that though since she can't find her ticket and has no more money. She had me go to the dining car and snatch a banana and donut for her, but cautioned me not to get caught because they would toss me off at the next stop if I did. It doesn't matter that my grand-father works for the rail-road (True) or that my uncle created the Pullman Sleeper (True). She can't believe that they allow dogs on the train now days, although she does expect to pay more for having them with her. I can't wait for us to get to where we are going so I can get some sleep.
I wound up going to bed at 6:00 this morning, Danny got back up at 5:00 am because he couldn't sleep and kept an eye on mom. She never did go to sleep. Danny brought her out to the living room at 9:00 this morning, she was completely dressed sitting in her room. I was back up at 11:30, Danny was pooped so he went to bed and I stayed with mom. She was really confused all day, she gets worse when she has a lack of sleep. Danny got back up at 4:00 this afternoon and the three of us went up town to pay some bills and look for a tree and just get away from the house. We are going out again tomorrow to get our tree, gonna cut it down ourselves because the lot ones didn't look too good. Mom finally went to bed at 9:00 pm because I set the clocks ahead two hours so she thought it was 11:00. I checked on her a few minutes later and she was fast asleep, hadn't even moved. I went to bed at 11:00 but couldn't sleep because my stomach is upset so here I am looking at the monitor again in the wee hours of the morning, 2:11 am. I am going to take some Excedrin PM and try again.
We didn't go to get the tree yesterday, we are going today. Mom wasn't feeling good yesterday neither was I so we just stayed home. Mom never did get up just laid there watching t.v. until 11:30pm when I went to bed. I tucked her in, shut off the tube and went to bed. Danny was still up at the computer so I told him to check on mom if she knocked because I was going to sleep and sleep I did. I took four Excedrin PM's, watched Cops and that is the last I remember. I didn't get up again until 8:00 am and boy do I feel better. Mom is up too, all dressed and ready to go. She is eating breakfast right now. We are waiting for Danny to get up so he can help me cut down the tree. I bet he will be tired, he has the 'CHATROOM' bug. He is new to the computer and all the Net has to offer so he stays up for hours chatting. He'll learn there are more chatters than hours in a day.
We got the tree today, put it up and decorated it. I sure does look nice. Mom hasn't stopped commenting on it all day. She has been in a great mood. The drive to the woods made her feel good and the view, she just loved it. She was like a kid in a candy store, it was so much fun. She sat in her chair watching Danny and me decorate it, she didn't want to help because she got more out of just watching so she said. I am going to take her shopping tomorrow for a few gifts. We are only doing for the grand-kids this year, money is just too tight. Especially after today, my heat pump went out, the heater company came out at $52 per hour and told me the defrost unit was shot and had to be ordered, so I had to buy a couple electric heaters to use until they get it fixed SOMETIME NEXT WEEK!!Just what I needed right before Christmas. Bah Humbug. Oh well, the day was nice anyway and the Grinch can't take that away so there. Mom is in bed now, so is Danny what a surprise, think he burnt himself out last night. I'm going to bed too, mom is pottied and tucked in, the dogs are pottied and tucked in, now for me. *SMILE*
So much for my restful night. I was up all night vomiting! My throat is so sore today and my stomach feels terrible. I am glad that mom slept in today. I didn't stop until nearly 7:00 this morning. Danny got up at 8:30 so he was around for mom and I slept until 3:00 this afternoon. I actually felt better when I got up, guess I had a 24hr bug or something. Mom didn't get out of bed until 7:30 tonight and it was a chore getting her up then. She was in a very bad this evening and started yelling at me when I asked her if she was getting tired, it was 1:30 am. I just got her to bed and she is still yelling. She is mad at me for being bossey because I told her she needed to change her Depends before bed, it was the same one she put on when she got up and it NEEDED changing. I simple told her fine, she couldn't get in the bed until it was changed, she changed it but not her attitude. Oh well, life could be worse I guess.
GOSH, it's 8:00 am and I feel great. I slept good last night, so did mom. I had gotten her up yesterday at 3:00 pm. She had been awake until 7:00 am yesterday morning and I wanted to make sure that she slept last night, so out of bed she got! There was no problem getting her to go to bed by 11:30, after the news, she was pooped, so was I. I stayed up all day so I would be able to sleep too. It's funny how your body will go onto autopilot for awhile then just crash and burn when it needs to. I am hoping that mom will get up early today so she can go shopping with me. She wants to get a few gifts and none of our shopping is done, heck, we haven't even started.
I didn't get to sleep until 7:00 this morning. I tried but just couldn't sleep. Mom was awake most of the night as well, she had an accident at 6:00 this morning which really didn't make my day. I finally went to sleep only to get up at 11:00 and find mom out in her chair watching t.v. She is in a good mood though, must be to tired to be honery. Danny had a hard time getting to sleep also, must be something in the air. The weather has been really bad here, high winds again and lots of rain. I think I would rather have snow than all this rain, of course if it all came down as snow I'd be complaining about that too. Gosh.
Mom went to bed last night at 9:15, Hurray. I went at 11:00 and slept like a baby. I was able to get out and do some shopping last night, it was a zoo. Christmas has become so commercial, it is sad. Mom didn't feel like going with me which was for the best ,the weather is just too nasty to take her out in it. I am going to try to get some baking done today, Mom does want to help in that department.
Mom got up at 8:00 am and stayed up all day. She was pretty nice most of the day. Robert and Crystal came down and spent the day and evening with us. They got pizza and movies and the three of us went out looking at Christmas lights. Danny didn't want to go, he was chatting! and mom didn't feel like going because of the weather, sooo. I went. We had fun singing carols, looking at the houses and drinking expresso. We watched the movies when we got back, mom enjoyed them because the were comedies. Robert and Crystal left afterward and mom and I went to bed, Danny stayed up. I am doing baking today, more cookies then candy, yum. I think my heat pump may get fixed today, the part came in yesterday.
Well, mom got up early again yesterday, she was in an O.K. mood most of the day. She went to bed after the news was over. I had my gradn-daughters tonight. We went out to Winchell's for donuts then to their moms work to wait for her to get done. I sat with my daughter-in-laws parents, Joyce and Danny and had coffee. I really feel like her parents are more my friends than just my son's in-laws. They are really nice people. Danny babysat mom and 'chatted' while I was gone. Next week I am taking the girls out to our annual 'Christmas Light Houses' excursion, it will be fun. Mom is doing a lot better this Christmas than she did last year, it doesn't seem to be putting such a strain on her, although she hasn't gone out to do shopping or see the lights this year. Maybe she'll go when I take the girls.
Yesterday was a hard day for me. I do property management for the people that I am buying this house from and one of the houses came empty so I had to go over and get it ready for renting. It took all day. I'm glad that Danny was here to watch mom for me or I would have really been in a pickle. I was so sore when I got home, I went to bed at 12:30 but couldn't get to sleep until after 3:00. I did sleep in, 1:30pm, although I would have preferred to get up earlier, I'll be up all night now. Oh well, I can get my own joint cleaned up. Mom is doing pretty good today. She had to take a water pill because her ankles are swollen, it's hard on her going so much but she feels better when it's over. She has gotten vert weak physically and her appetite has decreased again. Just when I start feeling that she will be around awhile longer she starts going downhill, what a rollercoaster. At least I get her for another Christmas and New Year.
Mom went to bed at 11:00 last night. She had a rough day with the Lasix. We had a good night though, I got her to play Yahtzee and she won all three games, then we watched 'A Wonderful Life' and talked about her past Christmases. She was talking about walking down the streets and it made you feel like you were in a bakery and made your mouth water with all the houses baking something different. She loved growing up in Wisconsin, she loved the snow and throwing snowballs at my uncle Dick. They had a horse named Nellie that would fight with the horses to get to grandma's backdoor, which was a split door, on Sunday mornings in order to poke her head in to get some pancakes. This was a tradition even when I was young, pancakes every Sunday morning. They would all go out to cut down the tree and Grandpa and Grandma would wait until Christmas eve, after mom and Uncle Dick went to bed to decorate it, thus they were able to keep them thinking that Santa had done it. Mom remembers one time she got a hugh stocking filled with candies, fruit and two pairs of underwear of all things, she couldn't understand how Santa would know that she needed panties. She said Grandma was a great mother and always made sure that they had a whole lot to eat on Christmas Day and would invite friends over for dinner, after dinner they would all sit around while Grandpa played the piano and sing carols. My mom's eye twinkled as she was telling about these things and I could tell that they were real, honest memories she was having, the honor and gaity in her voice wasn't make believe.
Yesterday started out just fine but turned nasty. My brother and I got into an arguement, a rather bad one and it ruined the entire day. It was about his neglecting mom. He spends all of his time on the computer either in a chat room or on ICQ chat and just ignores mom. We were invited to my daughter-in-laws Christmas party at her work and he wasn't going because he wanted to talk on the computer and just didn't feel like going, B--- S--- is what I told him. I know that it is hard to have conversations with mom but I at least try and I see no reason why he can't also. This may very well be her last Christmas and the time spent with her now, everyday, every minute should be cherished not ignored like he has been doing. Anyway we argued, stop speaking to each other for several hours and ALL went to the party. I was fun, mom really enjoyed getting out and seeing people and looking at the Christmas lights on the way home. She was so tired when we got home that she went to bed without a fuss and was still talking about the party. She is looking forward to Christmas day because we are having company for dinner. We called my older brother, Don, in California today, it is the first time mom has talked with him in almost a year. She was so happy to talk with him that she started crying, they never had a very close relationship, both of them made mistakes but some were never forgiven. He is getting older, she is getting older and time is running out for both of them. Why can't people realize, before it is too late, that they can't wait forever to say I'm sorry, to tell people in their lives how much they mean to them? Instead of feeling guilty after they are dead because they didn't get a chance to say this or that. The chance was there it just wasn't taken.
Well, it is 5:40 am and I am still up. My Rottie has been in labor all night, she is getting ready to POP!! Everyone else is in bed though. Mom was being so goofy tonight. She asked me if it were to late to send grandma a card down to the cemetary, straight faced she was, the suddenly a dawning occured and she started laughing so hard her eyes were watering. She said I shoud just ignore her because the dust was still settling in her head and this time she couldn't blame it on Alzheimer's! She just kept cracking herself and me up all night. It was great, we were really laughing. It started to snow a little and she was ready to hit me with snowballs, I guess I should be happy that it didn't stick. When I put her to bed at midnight I told her to have a good sleep and dream of sugar plums dancing in her head, she said forget that she was going to dream of Hot Toddies dancing her head and started laughing again. She will really be surprized if we have puppies when she gets up.
It is 2:00 pm and I have been up since Monday so please excuse any typo's, misspelled words and babbling OKAY. My rottie had a total of 11 puppies, one girl was still born and the first one, a boy died this afternoon, so she still has three girls and six boys. She was such a trooper, the first one I had to help with but the rest came pretty easy for her. I had to stay with her the entire time becuase she wouldn't let me go anywhere. She would pick up the puppy and put it in my lap and lay next to me to clean it. They are so cute and have good markings so far as I tell right now. Danny watched mom for me all day yesterday and last night so I could be with Koko. Mom was so excited, I'd yell out what she had and mom would clap. She saw them when she went to bed and said she was glad she had stayed out of the way while all this was going on and she was very happy it was the dog and not me!! ME TOO *smile*. I will be taking pictures of them and posting them, I feel like a proud grandma. Danny and I are getting on better now, he isn't staying on the computer as much and is taking time with mom, talking with her and watching shows with her. I'm glad for all of us but especially them. I get to do the rest of baking today and cleaning, Robert and Crystal are going to her folks house tonight and David and Melody are going to hers, they are all coming over tomorrow for dinner. It will be something, 9 adults, 2 grand-kids, three dogs and 9 puppies. Merry HoHo. Mom is still being goofy too, I love seeing her in a good mood, laughing so much. It brings the color back to her face. I really hope all of you guys have a winderful Christmas eve and Christmas day. Thanks to all for the lovely cards, mom was really shocked to see them all, they were a great present for US.
It is 1:30 in the morning, I'm sitting wondering what other families did tonight, whether they had fun, remembering the old days with a pre-AD mother and when my kids were still young. My mom went to bed at 9:00 last night, Danny went to bed at 11:00, my boys are with the in-laws and I have my dogs.I hope today is fun for all of us.
Well, we made it through Christmas Day. It was really nice, but different. Santa was good to all of us. Mom did pretty good all day, she was pooped and went to bed at 8:20!! My friend Don made it through the night and is holding his own right now. Thank you for your prayers. My grand-daughter Jaide stayed the night with me and we had fun. It was a pretty quiet day and night, I am thankful for that. Now to put things away and get ready for the New Year.
I really slept last night, it felt so good. I am getting sick again too, I think just from being so wore out that my system is giving me a reality check. Koko and the puppies are doing fine now. I had to take the puppies away from her for two nights and hand feed them, she is so young and being too concerned with them that she accidentailly killed two, the first two to be born. I think she suffocated them by keeping them right under her at all times. Mom is doing fine, she still doesn't feel 'right', she went to bed at midnight last night.
I am having trouble with Geocities. It won't let me enter text onto this page, I may not be able to update until January..Have a Happy New Year..
December 29
Things are good right now. Geocities has let me in to updaye, Hurray. Mom is doing good, she is upset because we aren't having a 'wammer' for New Years Eve. Smile. It used to be her favorite holiday. She still doesn't feel right but won't go to the doctor. I am keeping a close eye on her. Koko and the puppies are doing great they are going to the vet tomorrow to get tails docked and dew claws removed.
Can't enter enough text again, SORRY, no update today. It stops me. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
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