My last update was July of 1999 and it's been a long, hard journey to get to where I am now from where I was even a year ago.

    I won't be able to recall the timeline of when these things happened, but the important thing is that they DID happen!  My hope is that what I went through (and am still going through) may help someone, ANYONE get through the physical and emotional turmoil that RSD inflicts.  I'll try not to make this too long, but if it does get wordy I hope you'll bear with me.

    First I want to thank God for the strength He gave me to make it to where I am today.  The reason this is so important is the fact the HE has become the only thing that I use for pain control anymore!  Yup that's right, in the past year and a half I've gone from 240mg of OxyContin per DAY (as well as anti-depressants, anti-convulsants and some supplements) to NOTHING!!!!!
The reason for my reduction of medication was not completely self motivated, not for the lack of wanting to be off narcotic pain killers though!  (An attitude which I'm sure helped in my eventually being able to come off the medications all together).  There also came a time when my liver enzymes started to elevate and give off readings that looked like liver failure.  This prospect was terrifying, the thought that the only pain control available was damaging me in an area that could imminently lead to death!  So I made the decision to discontinue my medication, and after I started this reduction the doctor confirmed that it was the best thing to do.  This decision was based on the possibility that it was the morphine affecting my liver functions, today we know that it was not ALL medicinally caused but that my  body has been producing extra red blood cells due to sleep apnea. (The technical term is Hemachromatosis I believe).

There were of course other effects the narcotics had on my body that have only come to light in the past year or two.  The biggest effect I'm dealing with now is the "de-calcification" of my teeth.  This was caused by the dry mouth created by all the medications I was on.  My teeth have started to chip and break, the difference being that chipping involves a small part of the tooth breaking away while break means VERy large chunks coming off the tooth.  Of course this problem is the one I'm having trouble convincing Compensation that it's related.  They have accepted partial responsibilty for damage done to date, what they fail to realize is the cumulative effects it had and the damage that it is still causing. (I refer to the chips missing from teeth and general weakening of the tooth structure).  I understand that Comp wants a clearly defined line of culpability (what they're responsable for), the problem with that is the fact that this is a long lasting effect caused by medication that was necessary at the time.  I think my biggest problem with Comp is the way they treat the clients.  I've been honest and forthright from day one, even though I've been yelled at by my Comp CSR (client service representative) and had my employer submit fraudulant information and reverse image videotape.  I think that my honourable actions should be taken into account in the dealings between Comp and myself.  At no time was I dishonest, disrespectful or lost my temper with Comp and I really feel that that should be taken into consideration.  But I'll stop my little complaint section there, I'm trying to focus on the positive instead of the negatives now, and one reason for that is to reduce stress.

I'd like to take a minute and talk about some of the methods I use to keep my pain levels managable and why.  One of the most important is reducing or controlling stress, and I do this in any number of ways.  I start by trying to keep positive, and having a strong faith and relationship with God is an amazing way to change you're outlook and perspective on life.  When you start there it becomes easier to control emotions, not that all emotions are bad!!  (see Honey, I'm learning!! *L*)  But there are positive and negative emotions, and when you're able to control the negative emotions you can reduce stress and just generally have a better demeaner.  Of course I still use hydrotherapy, a crucial tool in my pain management.  And I must give credit to Comp in this area, they've been very good about cotniually accepting my use of the pool.  (I must say that my Doctor prescribed the use of the pool, which is probably why I've had no problem, but kudos to Comp anyways).  The most important method I use is FAITH, it seems the more I read and learn about what God wants and how we should act as Christians the more I'm able to accept that this condition is not a punishment!  God uses ALL things for His benefit and glory, and I am learning that I can glorify him even through this trial!  I find that when I lose myself in prayer I can detatch from what I have to deal with without medication, it's a form of meditation that focuses on God (a beautiful distraction!).  I hope some of these help, I know they work for me and even though I was forced to find other means of mental pain control I think that if you want a natural form of pain relief (homeopathic to the extreme) I recommend trying some of this.

An experience I recently had tested me quite a bit, on January 16th our van was stolen from in front of our house.  I'll be the first to admit I had some of those negative emotions, and I really didn't handle it well at first.  I did however have the backing of my church family (some of who even blessed us with the use of there second vehicle), which makes all the difference in the word!  There's nothing like being a part of a family that loves you enough to put themselves out!  For the 2 weeks it took to get the van back we were offered rides and vehicles when we needed, it made me wonder what kind of test this was for me?  I know I didn't pass at first, I was sent way out of alignment with God.  It only took a little time for me to lose the anger I had for the offenders and have it replaced with pity.  They obviously didn't know God and are making up for what's missing by theft, of course they'll never be satisfied of fulfilled by stealing so I pity them.

That concludes this update, as I recall more things I'll write them down and put more up.  Thanks for taking them time to read through my ramblings, I pray it made sense and can help!

Take care and God bless,
Bob

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