What was my treament like? Let me tell you. My treatment was unexpected and very uncomfortable.

Chemotherapy is not something a person should go through. Why? Well, if you like vomiting, mouth ulcers, stomach ulcers, losing weight, losing hair, getting fevers, hospital food(yuuuuckkkk), nurses waking you up every hour while you're trying to sleep, I could go on but I think you get the message, then chemotherapy is for you. I am assuming that none of you like this. Well, you might like the losing weight part but I think it's safe to say that exercise and dieting are the best alternatives.

My first day in the hospital, I had a counsellor come in and talk to me. I personally, didn't need her there. If anyone was going to make me feel better, it was going to be my family. I was told there was a bible in the set of drawers next to my bed along with some info books. Geez, that made me feel confident. A doctor came in and told me he wanted me to get a stomach x-ray. Ok, that didn't sound too bad. I was feeling really sick and having diarhhoea so I guess they wanted to check out my insides. They wheeled me into the x-ray waiting room on a wheelchair. (Never thought I needed one of those but I couldn't walk so I suppose I needed it.). After sitting there for about 2 minutes, I was sweating like someone who had been running for 5 miles. I was losing consciousness as well and I asked to lie down before I fell down. The nurses got me up into a bed that was nearby. All I remember after that was falling asleep. Next thing I know, I was in the x-ray room, still in the bed. The nurses told me to wake up and that I had to stand up for about 1 minute. I got up and in front of the x-ray machine. I was about to fall but I held myself up there. When they finished, they put me back in the bed and took me back to the ward I was 'living in'.

Next day, it was time to get a computer photo of my heart done. This is to determine the strength of the dosage they could give me based on the strength of my heart. There I was, lying on this uncomfortable hunk of curved metal, half conscious with this damn scary looking machine hanging above me. The nurse there explained to me what they were going to do. There was a series of photos to be done on either side of my heart. She left the room and, you guessed it, I fell asleep. The nurse woke me up about 5 minutes later and helped me to a room with a bed in it so I could lie down. I had to wait for a nurse to come and get me. This heart x-ray place was about a block away from the hospital and I was wheeled there and now I had to get wheeled back. You will never guess how long I had to wait. Or maybe you will, knowing how the public system works. I waited 3 hours to get taken back. Anyway, I was taken back to my room and found a whole lot of family and friends there waiting for me. That put a smile on my face. I got in the bed and everybody was asking me what I did to get Leukaemia. One friend was joking about me using this as an excuse to get out of work. It was Sel, the guy on my Homepage.

Next day was Hickmans Day. I was taken into the surgery where a doctor was waiting to talk to me first about what he was going to do. I was in a daze anyway, so it didn't really matter what he was talking about. I was lifted from my hospital bed onto the surgery table. Sounds like I'm going to get carved up. Anyway, I had a drip going in my arm so one of the nurses was able to use a junction in the line to inject the anaesthetic. I saw him injecting it and, believe me when I tell you, 2 seconds later, I was out. Unbelievable. I just dozed off into what was going to be the best sleep of my life. Next thing I know, I wake up feeling so damn uncomfortable. I felt something on my face and my throat was killing me because I couldn't clear it. I heard a voice in the background saying, 'Look who's awake'. Oh man, I felt like I had the biggest hangover in my life, and I don't even drink. But I couldn't do anything. My body felt like it was 5 times its weight. The thing on my face was the oxygen mask and my throat was sore because the surgeons had a tube down my throat to suck out my spit so I wouldn't choke on it. I remember thinking that they hadn't done anything. I didn't think I had the Hickmans in me. But on my way back to the ward, I went to move my arm to lift up my shirt and my chest was sore like I had just finished an intense workout. I lifted my shirt and sure enough, there it was hanging out of my chest like an alien hanging out of Sigourney Weaver.. It didn't look really pretty but as long as it didn't hurt.

The treatment has begun. First day of chemo. The moment of truth. I felt like Indiana Jones. A very nice nurse by the name of Georgina was all suited up and ready to play. Goggles, flak suit, rubber gloves. Not a pretty sight. I covered up my holes, (if you know what I mean). She grabbed the Line and slowly started injecting the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Good, because it will save my life, Bad because it's poison, and Ugly because it was this plastic red looking stuff. As soon as she started injecting, I could taste it. The most disgusting chemical taste I ever had. The only chemical taste I ever had. It took a while to inject because it has to be done very slowly. When that was done, she left and came back a while later with a different type of chemical. This is the 2nd drug that gets injected. There is more of the 2nd and third drug to inject and they were done through a drip. This was done 4 times a day including one at night over a period of one week. During the injections, I felt fine. No side effects at all. It was after the injections were finished that I started wanting to be bullimic (not my choice). Couldn't eat. About the only thing I could swallow was water. But even that was hard sometimes. The really freaky thing was ging to the bathroom. I don't want to be disgusting here, but passing urine was not something I looked forward to. It stunk like the worst smell in my life. I had to hold my breath everytime I went to the bathroom. Very chemical-like smell. Diahrroea was another common occurence. Diahrroea? Ummmm, more like brown water was coming out. (sorry for being so graphic but it is necessary for those who may be afraid of it and are getting the same side effects.) This was basically a daily thing for me. I did manage to eat some food. Mostly my mothers but also some, and I emphasize the word some of the hospitals food.

The doctors came in twice a day to let me know how I was doing regarding blood levels and to also check me over and to make sure everything was ok and going according to plan. It was during the first treatment that I experienced my Septic Shock.

Gradually though, I recovered and my blood levels were coming back up. Remission and Victory!!!! But, a short lived one. I was able to go home for 10 days but I had to come back and go through all that again. I made the most of my return home. Enjoying my own toilet. Watching it flush even. What a beautiful sight. I missed the blue water. Watching blue water can be rreally fascinating when you haven't seen it for a while. Friends and family came over to see how I was doing. On the 9th day, I had to have a bone marrow biopsy done. I wasn't looking forward to that. As if anybody would be! However, I did have it done and it did come out good. Less than 1% cancer cells. But they still wanted me to get more treatment because the chances of total remission after 1 treatment are not very high. So back in the hospital I go.

Drugs again, fevers again. No more septic shock though. But I did have something to go through again. I had developed a fungul infection in my lungs. This is a common side effect of chemotherapy and can be treated with a nebulizer. A nebulizer is a fraky looking plastic box with some yellow liquid connected to the oxygen supply above the bed. I was supposed to stick the mouthpiece of the plastic box in my mouth and the oxygen gets turned on. This vaporises the yellow liquid and I am supposed to breathe it in. I would rather stick a skunks butt in my face than breathe this stuff again. Regardless of doing this, I had to have a bronchoscopy done. The nebulizer didn't clear the fungul infection. I wasn't too thrilled at hearing this news. Off I go to the day surgery. The doctor is telling me what he is going to do. AS IF I WANT TO KNOW!!!!! First there was the anaesthetic. A squeeze bottle which he squirted into my nose. Then, a damn needle that he was going to inject in my throat from the outside. Not a pretty feeling. I was lying there and caught a glimpse of the thing they were going to shove in my throat into my lungs. This thing is about half the width of a little finger with a light on the end of it. He tried to jam it up my nose first but my nose was too narrow. That's news to me. I always thought my nose was too wide. Anyway, he had to go through my mouth. He put a mouthpiece for me to bite on which also kept my mouth open. Then he started going in. Why bullimics persist to push their fingers down their throat to vomit is beyond me, but it is one of the most disgusting feelings you could experience. I'm choking with this camera down my throat, not wanting to know what is happening and the doctor is explaining everything to me. AS IF I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!! I felt like punching him in the head and actually attempted to pull the thing out of my throat to tell him to shut up. But the nurses held me down. That's no joke either. 20 minutes later, he pulled it out and I was wheeled out of the surgery. Unable to talk. I was wheeled back to my ward where I was told that they couldn't find anything. So I went through all that for nothing. But still, I suppose it was necessary.

The second treatment was a bit longer because I developed complications which included the fungul infection. So they gave me the amphitericine. An anti-fungul agent. But very very strong. So strong that I had to have it every second day because it was doing some strange things to me. I was getting very dizzy while I was sleeping and my kidneys were on the verge of collapsing. But I pulled through and got out of hospital 1 week after I was due to be released.

I'll tell you one thing though, it was the worst 2 months of my life but the achievement is something I wouldn't change.

There is hope for Cancer patients and it is cureable. Do not give up on life that easily. Be afraid of dying because life is there for only a short time. Heaven will always be there and I'm sure God can wait a while for you to grace him with your presence.
And remember the famous words of Ferris Bueller. 'Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.'