Archive
Me and Emily Audle-something or other
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'm eating my head. I'm not being called back for any of the jobs I applied for, I have 2 finals tomorrow, and for some reason I just feel lonely. I think I should try going back to showing no emotion again. It was the Al everyone liked and I was alot more stable then. But seroiusly, I'm just being rediculas. I dont know why I am letting this or ever would let this affect me so much. I need medication or something. I think that until I get a job, I'm going to go back to making my music. I've taken a long time off, but I never had any free time. The shitty thing is that I think I erased the Daft Punk remix I started, so I'll have to start over. I got all the mixing software I need, with all the mp3 encoding stuff I could ever need. ARGH! Tomorrow night, I'm getting so drunk. I hope I pass out somewhere soft. Then I gotta get ready to move, which means packin up my comp, which is a bitch. Anyway, I'm gonna go watch some TV, maybe get some sleep. Talk to me later...
Hello all! Actually, I'm the only one that checks this, so hello me! Since no one checks this, i'm going to use it as a real journal instead of a 'everythings hunky dory' one like before. Ya know what, right now I'm really f*ckin depressed. Its like, lets say you've been cruising around at about the same emotional level the last 6 weeks, then one day you get real happy cause you find someone you can actually talk to, then the next day you get really really happy cause you just spent a great night with a great person, then tonight you dont get to spend any time with that person. I just feel like I've dropped, and I'm lonely. I know that wasnt the best explanantion, but oh well, like anyone is reading this. Then, on top of that, you have tons of finals that suck dick and drag teeth. How would you feel...(more latta...)
Hey, I'm thinking of switching to a livejournal format. What do you guys think? Oh wait, thats right, no one comes here anymore. Well, if you are new here, and I dont know you, check out my archive of journals to see what I'm like.
Wow, its been a long time since an update. It will prolly be awhile until my next one. I'm still having probs with my internet here. They dont have my ethernet done yet, and the phone lines are still screwy. My roommate is awesome; much better than Jeremy. Hes rarely home, and when he is he usually just plays Final Fantasy 8, which is cool. My suitemates are pretty cool too. One is big in to marial arts, and the other just graduated HS and moved here from Kentucky. He is also in my calc 2 class with me which is good.
My classes are alright. Calc 2 is prolly my easiest class right now, even though I hate everything in it. Asian arts and culture was going to be my easy gen-ed class, but, its tougher than hell. The tests are impossible. We just had one Friday. If theres a curve, i got an A. If not, C. My chem lab totally sucks. Two 4-hour periods a week for a 2 credit hour class. Then we have a lab report due each class, and a quiz every Thursday. Its a bitch, but so is life.
Today I had the extreme pleasure of meeting Karen. I mean, I've seen her around alot ever since I've been up here, but I never talked to her. About 2 this morning I went downstairs to talk to Jeremiah who was working at the front desk. I knew he knew her cause I'd asked him about her before. I also knew she was moving out soon, which made me kinda sad because she is the meaning of eye candy. I mean, she is one of the cutest women I have ever met. Long red hair, deep brown eyes, 5'4". But, I always dimissed her as eye candy, because I felt and still feel that you should only judge, like, and dislike someone for who they are on the inside. So, back to my story, i was chillin with Miah at 2 this morning when she walked up and said hello. She talked to Miah and me for awhile, then she said something about needing help moving out tomorrow. Miah said he was going to ask me, but didnt want to impose on Karens plans. I said sure, I'd love to help cause I really didnt have anything else to do on a Saturday. We talked some more and I found out she had an article in Fridays Daliy Iowan about the cable accesses fund raiser going on. It was actually pretty good, it made front page. So, then I also agreed to drive some people down to CR with her so we could load up a bed from a storage garage. She insisted on paying for gas, and I eventually accepted. Oh yeah, I also noticed what car she drove earlier. Its an old RX-7 with a rotary engine like what were in old planes. Very sharp. I told her I liked it and she told me she liked mine too, which is totally cool cause I didnt describe it, she had to of remembered it. So she went to bed and so did I, and Miah worked til 8.
So, I woke up this morning and got around, then at about 12:15 there was a knock at the door. It was Karen and her mother wanting to know if I could help them carry up a cabinet set. I jumped on the chance and headed out with them. Karen took her car over and i rode with her mother. Ok, the only way I could describe her mother is: AWESOME. She is an amazing person. She insisted on telling me that she just drove up from Dallas yesterday and that Karen was her only daughter who was born when she was 40 and her husband died 10 years ago. I mean she told me everything about her life. She said she grew up in Ely with a .22 rifle and a handful of bullets, and then told me everything that happened til present. But the story never really got boring, even into its 4th hour. The best is seeing Karen and her together. Karen will flip out at her and scream words I wouldnt say infront of anyone in my family, but its normal between them, like Karens aggression towards her mother gradually increased until this is normal. And I cant blame Karen for it, her mother does tell alot about her, and she wouldnt stop. Its just how close they are. I was telling Karen on the way back to Mayflower that I got a chance to listen to her life story, and shes 'ullwwww! I hate her, but I love her to death.'
So, after we got done hauling everything and carrying it up 3 flights of stairs (ofcourse, no elevator), Karen took us all to Shakeys for food, and I stuffed myself. I hadnt ate since 7pm yesterday, so I was hungry. We all talked for an hour about anything and everything. Tomorrow (today actually, now that its Sunday), I have to go to the Deadwood about 7 so I can get interviewed by her for her next article. Know what its about? You guessed it, the Simpsons. Well, to finish my story, she is a trully amazing woman. Trully beautiful inside and out, and it was my pleasure to meet her. P.S. ok, it took my like an hour to type all this. man, I'm slow. I still dont know why I type all of this. There are only 2 people that look at it, maybe 1.5 now. Maybe its for my own sanity...
Everything is so weird. I cant believe how much different this summer is compared to last summer. Last summer, if I ran into someone, they'd be like "Hey Al!" This summer its more like, "oh, hey al, hows it going(dont answer that while I turn away)". I'm being treated like I'm some sort of pedophile or something. Maybe I killed someone and I dont know. I guess, all I can say is I cant wait til I go back to Iowa City. I see now that Marion has absolutely nothing to offer me, except family. But everything else is gone. Maybe I've just changed too much or something. I dont know. I mean, its not like I care that I'm being alienated, or ditched. I really dont. The only thing that bothers me is that I dont know why. I just dont know. I guess the only thing I can do is not care and hope that curoiusness goes away. Anyway, check ya'll later. You all meaning the 2 peeps that check this. Yes, I think I've lost 2 or so.
Hey all! Wassup?! This will probably be my last update here in IC, so I guess I'll catch ya on the flip side. Just got done with my second to last final, and I'm pretty damn sure I aced it, which is good. My calc final today booted me in the ass, but I think others did equally as bad. Whatelse, oh, I got bored and made this. Hope ya like. If not, who asked ya. The magic 8-ball told me I should take it to class for my last final to assist me. I think it couldnt hurt. Umm, yeah, well, talk to ya latta then...
Sorry its been so long since I wrote in here, my comp died since I last wrote, but I revived it. Its 4:30 am right now. My typing may be a little off cause I've been drinking, but I feel fine now. I got drunk for the first time Wed. night. It was, well, an experience. I didnt think it was going to get me drunk, and I even argued that I was, but everyone told me I was. I had 2 shots of vodka and 5 screwdrivers in 45 minutes. Oh, and I hadnt eaten in over 7 hours. So, I guess it hit me kinda hard. Then I had some buttershots and some stuff called ICE 101 that was damn good. Oh, my wacky adventures! Jeremy was all pissed at me cause I got drunk, but where is he now. Oh yeah, i can just see his feet under the stall in the bathroom cause he's passed out! Ha Ha. Welp, finals are coming up. Woopee! Ya know what that means?! Hell on earth, cats living with dogs, mass hysteria! But I will survive. As long as I know how to study I know I will get by. Umm, whatelse. I got my 1200th mp3 this week. New personal best. Oh, before I forget, thursday was really screwed up, so if you talked to me and I was weird, sorry. I wasnt hung over I dont think. I just had a dull headache and couldnt concentrate on shit. Oh well, I'm gonna sleep. Talk to ya'll latta and stuff...
Hey all! Last night was prom. It went fine, and I had fun, but I dont really want to talk about it. Things are great here. I found a way to get free HBO off of the cable that comes up here, so I got that goin for me. Oh well, back to the HW.
OH MY GOD! That was soooo fun. I went over to the park when it was raining and thunderstorming about an hour ago. There were about 15 people over there sliding in the mud. I slide like 50 feet whenever I went it was freakin' awesome! By the time I left, there were 30 people, now there is over 60 out there! I was covered head to sandals in mud, so I just hopped in the shower and washed everything. Ha ha, it was sweet. Kelly and Elizibeth just got back from out there and they're just about as bad as I was. Ah, back to the HW.
Man, last night was crazy. Ok, it was actually really weird. It all started with a phone call. This is something like what went on:
Al: Hello
Girl: Is Allen there?
Al: Yup, this is Al
Girl: Allen, this may be kind of sudden, but I love you.
Al: Umm, ok.
Girl: I want to marry you and live with you in Marion.
Al: Umm, ok, but who are you?
Girl: This is Clara, but I don't think you know me.
Al: Umm, no, I don't.
Clara: Well, I've always wanted your last name and I think 'Al and Clara' really sounds good together so do you want to get married this summer?
Al: I think we should get to know each other first.
Clara: Yeah, maybe you're right. Do you like Lysol?
Al: Yeah, I guess so.
Clara: What's your favorite scent?
Al: I don't know, we only have the straight green, but I guess I'd prefer a more floral scent.
Clara: Wow, me too. Tell me something, what do you look like?
Al: Well, I'm about 250, 6'1 or 2, and I'm pretty muscular.
Clara: Hey, you're kinda big. Does anyone call you Al?
Al: Yup, everyone.
Clara: Can you be Big Al?
Al: I am Big Al.
Clara: (enthusiastically) Wow, awesome! I really think this could work out!
Al: Umm, yeah, except that I know nothing about you, and I have no idea what you look like.
Clara: Yeah. Hey, do you drink?
Al: I drink about 1-2 shots a month or so.
Clara: What bars do you go to?
Al: I like the Union the best, but I really don't care for Brothers.
Clara: Wow! I hate Brothers too! We have so much in common, you know, the Lysol and Brothers thing.
Al: Yeah, I guess so.
Clara: Hey, are you going out Thursday night? Cause if you are I'm going to be at Vito's. Do you want to meet me there?
Al: Umm, sure...?
Clara: That's great. I'm 5'4, 120 to 125 pounds, and have short brown hair. Just look for me because I'll be looking for you.
Al: Yeah, whatever.
Clara: Bye Al!
Al: Bye
Ok, that was really crazy. If my count is right, I've been proposed to 4 times while being up here. But this, at about 10 seconds, was the shortest by far. The weirdest thing is, she did sound drunk! She just sounded normal and lonely. Wow, isn't Iowa great...
hey, click on the link below and see me live! Well, you will when I have it on. Its pretty cool and I's likes zit! If ya's curious about what I'm doin', well, I'm listening to "The End" by the Doors, and I'm listening to Townes Van Zandt's "Dead Flowers."
Hey, whattup yo? I just been chillin here. Ups and downs, strikes and gutters. But the Dude abides, and I take comfort in that. I took some more pics, lost a little bit more of my soul, ran into a co-worker, a pre-co-worker, and a friend from the past (the past ofcourse meaning last semester). I spent a little time on my musik again, but ran outta time. I like what I have, but its not what I want. Oh well. If I cant have my funk then I dont want any. I want to box. I have this sudden urge to right now. I mean, I've wanted to for a long time, but just the last few days I've felt like kickin' ass. People on my floor are already calling me MacGyver cause I'm fixin' mine and everyone elses shit with ducktape. Hey, so I made an antenna out of ducttape and a necklace when the cable was out. Big deal. Its not like I'm making CD players out of toasters or anything. Things this last week have been pretty down. My 8-ball says things will go up from here. Its never been right, but I'll take its prediction. If its nice tomorrow I'm going to the park and never coming back. Well, atleast not til sunset. Yeah, I prob wont be around here next week if any of ya 4 try to get ahold of me. I'm goin to prom with Lisa, which really should be fun. I dont really want to go back to Marion, but its a favor to her and its nice talking to her. I cant decide whether I'm selfish or not. I'm sacrificing my freedom going to Marion, but I want to see Lisa since its been almost a year. So I dont know. I forgot what the question was anyway. What was I talking about? Is this an essay or a guessay? What did you say? Wow, I really need sleep. I still have that cough thats uncurable. Well, its 3:12. I wonder if I'll go to bed today? I wonder if tomorrow will be good, but I guess I still gotta live through today. If I am quiet enough, I can hear my mouse talk to me. He just keeps sayin' "Hey Al, hows it going" and makes small talk. I think if I ignore him he might get the hint i dont want to talk. I would think he'd know by now that I am enganged to the TV. I either need less caffeine, or more caffeine...or maybe psychiatric help. Uh oh, TV's calling. Goodnight all 4 of you out there.
I updated the stuff about me thing inside if you want to check it out. Oh, and check out my photogalley at collegeclub.com
Remember, wherever you go, there you are.
"People don't believe in heroes anymore."-Mad Max
Well, I've done alot of thinking tonight. First off, I dont want any of you to write and say, "oh Al, you're so depressed" cause I'm not. I just got tired. For a long time I've believed that it was what was on the inside that matters. I believed that your appearance was not as important as your intellegence. I believed this, and I said it, and I kept it that way. But tonight I realized that I am the only one who has done that. I hear people say that they can't meet a great guy, and then settle for the lowest. I hear people say that because I dont go out and drink Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night that I'm not living the "college life." I dont believe that there is one college life. If you had to narrow it down about 15% of people try to live that college life. 45% drink on one of those 3 nights. 10% sit behind a computer doing homework or studying. 15% leave. 14.999% do other things to fill their time. And then there is the .001% (thats me) that hovers on that brink. The brink between believing in nothing and believing that getting drunk 4 nights a week, going home with any woman that flirts with me, and skipping classes is right. I'm not depressed; I'm scared. I'm afraid that if I get drunk once, that I will enjoy that state of mind much more than the laid back hard working one I'm in now. I dont know where I intended to go with this entry when I started. I guess this is where it ends, cause I dont know how to finish it. I'm gonna go watch Mad Max til I fall asleep, then see how I feel in the morning. Goodnight everyone.Put a smile on your face, make the world a better place...
Ohhhhh, I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner...
Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Al, happy birthday to me...
Well, I've spent the first half of my birthday playing basketball, and I think I'll spend the next half drinkin or something. If I do, I'll get lots of pics of me. I'm also carrying my bday celebration til tomorrow so that I can spend it watching baseball and basketball and eating little weinies. I got may picks done for the NCAA tourney. I got Stanford over ISU for the championship. Stanfords got a strong team, and with Cinncinati's injuries they should slide by. Anyway, guess I'll go eat. Oh, and I'm 20 by the way...
Gonna be away from my comp for a few days. Talk to ya'll later...
Hello everybody! Yes, hello to all 4 of you that still check this site on a regular basis. Well, whats new with me? It feels like I've gotten alot lonelier since the last time I wrote. Lately I've started going to bars to get pics for my job at collegeclub. So when I go I'm hanging around more people, but I still feel like an outsider. I dont drink there, or hardly anywhere for that matter. I dont care, drinking alone once in awhile is fun...ok, it passes the time. Well, what else. I got that job with collegeclub. I'm the new photographer. I love the camera, I love the people I work with, and I love having an excuse to go out, but other than that I dont like it. It feels like I'm selling myself, almost like a telemarketer. I guess they are not actually paying anything, so that makes it better, but sometimes I still feel like I'm loosing integrity. I also dont like the pics I have to take. Ok, the party ones, the Lacross ones, and some of the bar ones are cool, but the ones in parks make me feel bad. The worst is when they say 'thank you' after you take it. Its like I'm conning them into something. Atleast I get to work with Heidi on those. Shes a much better seller than I am. That and you get less freakish looks when there are 2 of you. We ran into a group of photography majors Wednesday when we went out and I started to feel bad. Its like a loan shark running into a banker. Sorry if you dont understand that analogy, its hard to explain. All my artistic shots are coming out of my own free time, which is really dwindling. If you want to see some you can check out the uiowa gallery on collegeclub and go to the one that says 'A night in the life of a victoria secret model (AC)'. Ok, its not good, but it was fun. Anyway, thats all from here. My head is still churning through thoughts of life, love, maturation, and television. By the way, television is not the root of all evil, its the root of all procrastination. And procrastination is like masterbation: at first it feels good, but in the end your just fucking yourself. And thats why they make porn movies. It wouldnt matter if I watched porn movies all day, I'd still be alone in a room with a tv and a pile of homework. I dont, at all, but what do you 4 people care anyway...
update smupdate, I'm goin' sunbathing...
Well, its been awhile since I wrote in here, so I may as well make this one big. Molly was suppose to come down this weekend, but with the weather bad she cancelled. I'm sad that she couldnt come, but I do have 2 5-page papers I need to finish for Monday. I took my Biology quiz yesterday and I have no idea how I did. It doesnt really matter, I tried my best, and if I only get a B I'll just take it over again like 1/4 of the people in that class. It was easily the toughest test I've ever taken that wasn't a final. I hate the proffeseur also. A wise man once said in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, but just because this guy is a "proffeseur" it doesnt mean he's not an ignorant, arrogant asshole. Enough about him. Hey, I kinda got a job too. If all goes well at my meeting next week I may be a photographer for College Club. I just have to get in touch with Heidi again and ask here when we can meet next week. I desperately want this job. I would get to use a digital camera and everything. Keep your fingers crossed. My cold is getting worse again. If any of you all out there want to be a pal you can ship me a barrel of ny quil. I went through a bottle in 3 days, which also put me in a coma, but thats another story. Well, its nearly 1pm here, so I think I'm gonna get some breakfast.
Argh, I'm so tired! Campus life is making me weary...
I don't know why I'm writing now. Its kinda late. Maybe because I can't sleep. I'm deeply in love with Molly. We're about 2 steps away from marriage. Suprising seeing as we actually haven't met yet. I know alot of people out there will think this is wrong, or silly, but I don't care. I can see this woman as my wife someday. We are joined at the heart, mind, and soul. I have never felt this way about any woman I've ever met. Its just an instant rapport. She was suppose to come down yesterday and today, but some things came up that forced her to loose her ride, definately not her fault. She is (hopefully) coming down next thurs, fri, and sat on the greyhound cause they have good deals. I realize there is still some water we have to test out, but it will go smoothly, I can feel it, I'm positive. And I don't care what she looks like, I've never cared about that. It may sound like I'm defending myself in this, but I'm not. No one has said anything bad to me nor do I expect them to. I'm just saying all of this to tell you this is how its gonna be in our (mine and Molly's) relationship, no matter what anyone else says. I was happy before I met her, but she takes my happiness to a whole new level that I can't explain in words. So, you can either congratulate me on finding true love or just sit and make fun of me behind my back. I don't care. Its not going to affect me or my feelings one bit. So, to everyone that actually views this...Happy Happy Joy Joy!
Well y'all, its official! I'm madly, truly, deeply in love with Molly. She just makes it so easy. Can't wait til Thursday! Happy Al, Happy Al, Happy Al...
Really tired today, but still way off the happiness chart.
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Woohoo!
Happy + blissful + content + joyful + pleased + glad + exualtant + in high spirits + on cloud nine + delighted + cheery + jovial + elated + estatic + overjoyed + thrilled + euphoric + in seventh heaven = one one-millionth of what I feel right now.
I'm floating on a cloud...
It was very very cold today. I got to sleep in til 10:00 and it was still only 4 below with a 31 below windchill. All my books were expensive, and all my classes are boring. Well, not all of them, but the majority. Its tough walking around with this boot, but I'm gonna try to get rid of it soon. Between it and the 6" of snow on the ground, my socks are getting soaked. Well, what esle has happened...oh yeah, I met the sweetest woman ever made. On the kind-o-meter, shes off the charts. Hope everyone out there is happy (everyone out there being the 4 people who check this once in awhile). Guess I'll talk to y'all later. Out....
"You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve."
I got my books today. It was a heck of a walk in this ice. I also watched "Office Space."
I still haven't got my books. I'm kinda dreading going to the bookstore with this damn brace. It kills to walk on it, but I just tightened down the straps as much as I could and pumped it up and take the pain. I've started working out again. Just push-ups and sit-ups, but its a start. Today I actually left my room to go downstairs and get the mail. I couldnt believe that there we 10 people in the lounge! That must mean theres atleast 20 staying here now. I found out I got a new R.A. today too. His name is Brett and he lived on the floor last semester. He's pretty cool. He might actually organize something. I'm not saying that our old R.A. was bad, but he didnt tell anyone he was leaving after he made friends with everyone, so people are hurt. My roomie got a DVD player, so now will actually have a DVD collection. Actually, we'll probably just have a bunch of fines at every rental place in IC/Coralville.
Well, its also Friday night, which means one thing for me. Thats right ya'll, it means another night of partyin' by myself. If I wasnt The Crippled Wonder, I would probably head on out to the ped-mall, maybe run into someone I know. But, now I'm stuck here watching movies. Oh well, c-est la vie. Oh yeah, and I could learn some french from the program I bought, but that would involve thinking. I guess I'll keep playing Gran Turismo. I thought I beat it, it even showed me the credits and everything, but now I'm trying to beat all the special events. Everytime I win I get another shitty car 1/50 as good as the one I used in the race that won it for me. I get that and a trophy, which incidentally is much more important to me. I've kinda stopped trying to get ahead on Need for Speed 4. It was fun, but the challenge is gone. Maybe I'll get back to it when I've beat a few other games. I'm gonna try to borrow some games off people here and put them to good use. If I attract enough people, I'll start "modding" some for some extra dough. Oh well, thats enough writing for today...out
Whatelse should I be, all apologies...
Well I'm back in Iowa. I'm not in IC yet, not til Wed. I broke my ankle on vacation. I figured I'm bound to fall atleast 6 more times on slippery sidewalks 'cause of it. Oh well, c'est la vie. I miss my room, and my comp. Especially that. I miss being able to sit around all day and listen to music with no one looking down at me on what I'm listening to or what I'm wearing.
I keep having this reaccuring dream. I wake up and a ghost of my grandpa is at the foot of my bed and he says, "dont worry, you have to go it alone for awhile. know you're right." It freaks the hell out of me, but most weird dreams do. Oh well, catch y'all when i get back...
P.S. I stayed up late tonight and beat the game "Driver" for Playstation. It only took me about 10 or 12 hours total, so it wasnt that bad. If I had to rate it, I would say that it was damn good for a role playing game, especially since it involves alot of driving. For a driving game, I'd have to give it about a B+. It cant compare to the racing experience of Gran Turismo or Nee