Nan's Memorial Page "She loved a rose and a rose was she"

My mother, Nan Head died on May 16, 1998 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The city where she and we, were born and raised. She was a member of the Avondale Congregation. Her loss has been acutely grievous for me and my sisters. On this page I would like to share some of the things that made her special, such as her motherly teachings; 'the law of your mother' the Bible speaks of, the poem I wrote for her and two poems I wrote after her death, including one that has since circulated around the world. The title is: ' The Paradise Train. (The poem is also at the bottom of this page)'   Mama and my younger sister Phyllis, at their circuit assembly in London, Ohio circa 1989. (Click on thumbnail to view enlarged photo. Use your browser's BACK button to return to this page.)

Mama's Teachings "...do not forsake the law of your mother." Proverbs 6:20

1.  "My word is my bond." 2.  "Do the best you can and leave the rest in the hands of the Great Jehovah." 3.  "Always be happy for what other's have and pray they get more. The Good Lord will also bless you." 4.  "If you tell me a lie you'll get twice the punishment. One for the wrong and one for the lie." 5.  "You can't please everybody. Jesus Christ was a perfect man and he couldn't please everyone, so there's no use in you even trying to." 6.  "Never be slow to say "I'm sorry." You're not supposed to be perfect." 7.  "Be clean honey, cleanliness is next to godliness." 8. "All that shines is not gold. If it's too shiny it's definitely not gold. It's fools gold." 9. "Right is right and wrong is wrong and right don't wrong nobody." 10. "Be for real! Be who you are. If you're nothing but a dog, be a good one." 11. "Always respect the aged ones, you'll be old someday." 12. "Try to be nice to everybody. That very person you treat unkind, may someday give you a glass of water when you need it." (In other words: We reap what we sow.) 13. "Always mean what you say and say what you mean." 14. "Don't be afraid of trouble. Hold your head high and trust in the Good Lord to take care of you, to help you work out your problems. Almighty God can work wonders for you if you have faith."

HOSPITALITY

1.  "Be a giving person. Giving people never go wanting. Close handed people always want and wonder why they have so little." 2.  "Always meet people with a big smile, make them feel at home and glad they came to visit." 3.  "When you have company, if you want people to have a good time; you have to feed them." 4.  "Never have just enough food, always prepare more than enough for extras." (Extra people or servings.) 5.  "Charity begins at home and then spreads abroad. (1 Corinthians 13 KJV)"

WORK

1.  "Never be afraid of work, even hard work." 2.  "Get started with your work early. Then you'll have the rest of the day for yourself." 3.  "Always do your best. You'll feel better about yourself." 4. "Make sure you do a thorough job. Never half-do anything." 5. "Don't watch the clock. Put your heart into your work and before you know it the job is finished. 6.  "Have a business head. Don't be shy. Look people straight in the eye and speak up."

PERSONAL

1.  "Pretty is as pretty does." (It's far more important to be pretty inside, in our hearts, than outside.) 2. "Always remember your manners, your 'please' and 'thank you', 'excuse me'." 3. "Honey, always keep your dress down. Watch how you sit. Be modest. Hold your head up." 4. "You're just as good as anyone else. Always remember that." 5.  "Try to be happy. Look at me! I have so much to be happy about and so do you". 6.  "Just smile and look pretty. Nobody wants to look at a grumpy face." 7. "A nice personality will take you far in this life." 8. "Act nice now, God don't like ugly and He's not too crazy about pretty."(refers to 'ugly' behavior and pretty ourside but ugly inside is just as bad.) 9. "Always speak to people. It doesn't hurt to at least speak. That same person may someday get you a glass of water if you're in need." 10. "Don't answer or open that door when we're not home for nobody! You don't even open that door if Jesus Christ came, because I know that he's not coming." (More parents today should apply that excellent advice as a protection for their children.

SUCH JEWELS TO LIVE BY! Top of page

Mama's Influence  Due to Mama's love and respect for God's Holy Word, which she taught me from an early age, I was baptized in the Baptist church at 7yrs. I was spiritually inclined and took God very seriously.  At six yrs of age, we were returning home from a holiday. I stole a pack of gum from a little friend who had been given a box of 24 packs and didn't offer me one. I quietly removed the gum from the wrapper and put it in my mouth. Suddenly, I recalled how I came to acquire it. I could 'feel' God's eyes piercing through the roof the car I was riding it. I wanted to go back and admit the dirty deed, but knew we couldn't return. I prayed for God to forgive me am I couldn't chew it. I hated it! I replaced it in the wrapper to be thrown away as soon as I could. However, I had many unanswered questions and began a search for truth, going from church to church at the age of 12 yrs. I attended Baptist, Salvation Army, Pentecostal meetings.  My sister Bobbie was a member of the Pentecostal church and the people were very kind to both of us. I also visited Methodist and Catholic churches as an observer. My mind was open for any religion that could prove all the answers from the Bible. I finally found truth at a year later through Jehovah's Witnesses having a bible study with my aunt and uncle. Finally all my Biblical questions were answered straight from the Bible. I found Jehovah's Witnesses had a Christ-like zeal to spread God's Word and they were a true spiritual family who welcomed me into their home and their hearts. I shall never forget those beautiful friends who were in Avondale Congregation in Cincinnati.  Due to their believing many fallacies about Jehovah's Witnesses, both my parents were upset and opposed to my new-found faith. Many trials were to be endured in our home. It was very difficult for them to understand and accept. I dedicated myself at 14 yrs. When I took my stand, she could see that I was determined to serve my Creator. Mama supported my choice, attended my baptism and most of my student talks as I grew up. I have remained a faithful witness and into my fifth decade. Despite countless trials in my life, I've never missed a month of active service to my Heavenly Father Jehovah, due to His support. People have often asked me how I learned to express myself so well in public speaking, writing and memorizing poetry, etc. I must give much of the credit to my Mama. She taught me how to speak, proper sense stress, diction, facial and body gestures, poise and confidence. All this, and she was a sixth grade school drop-out. How extraordinary! Beginning at the age of 8 yrs, I was picked to recite "The Nina, The Pinta and the Santa Maria" for Columbus Day and other special assembly days. When I entered high school, I was asked to do the main recitals for all special events during the year. In 1956, I recall that I was absent for school for a month due to having Asiatic flu and the teachers in charge of the special program for Veterans Day, held the poem 'Flanders Field' open for me hoping I would be back in time to recite it. My music teacher called and asked Mama if I could learn it in four days. She replied: "She can learn it."  And so I did, with Mama's help. In high school I excelled in drama and public speaking, making straight A's.  At that time, my real dream was to go to Hollywood and become a good movie actress. I absolutely loved performing! There was a drive in my blood. I imagined it all the time and acting felt quite effortless. This career was encouraged by my  high school teachers as they felt I had a gift to perform. For fun, I used to 'test the waters' by calling local radio talk shows a few times an evening, changing my voice and accent. The moderator never appeared to detect that he was talking to the same person.  I was an avid reader and I used to entertain my family by writing plays and acting out all the parts, changing clothes and all. Other times I would assign my sisters parts and become most frustrated when they failed to 'perform' as the part called for. :-( (During this time we lived in the same apartment the actor Roy Rogers was born in.)  However, this temporary dream faded when I found and traded it in for the prized pearl of the kingdom of God. I've never looked back. Over the years, I have enjoy entertaining the friends often at parties and weddings, with skits, reciting poetry, etc. I've also had the privilege of giving many spiritual presentations at circuit and district conventions, the largest in Montreal at the Big Olympic Stadium before 60,000 people.  I believe that in God's paradise world, we will have wholesome entertainment, because from Bible times to our day, God's people have always enjoyed life, having fun and associating together. So there will be many opportunities to entertain, except it will be forever, without the many 'pains' associated with that kind of lifestyle today. Mama and Daddy taught us girls warm hospitality. She regularly sent me with plates of dinner to give to  sick neighbors. Daddy many times brought strangers home who needed a meal. Mama always had enough for extra and happy to serve them. She often invited the bereaved to our home for dinner a few weeks following the sad event in their lives. So, I simply must give Mama credit teaching me so much and for instilling in me a love for God, Jesus, and the Bible at an early age. "The twig was bent and the tree was firmly rooted." To my great joy, my Mama became one of Jehovah's Witnesses 27 years after me. My dear sisters also dedicated themselves to serve Almighty God and Jesus Christ. Bobbie in 1973, Phyllis in 1980 and Joann in 1991. In spite of these joys; as in many dysfunctional families of divorce, we had our share of pain as I grew up. My sisters lived with Mama and I preferred Daddy. (His page is coming soon.) Thanks to Jehovah, all this pain was neutralized in the last couple of years before her death. In 1994, I suffered a complete mental and emotional breakdown. As I was recovering I came to realize many things from my past. Some experiences were very painful. One of the most important issues I came to realize— during my recovery that necessitated resolution, was to go home as soon as I was able and 're-bond' with my Mama. I was fifty years old and Mama held me in her arms again. When I soulfully apologized for ever speaking or treating her unkind, her reply with a slight tone of impatience was: "Why are you crying, I forgave you a long time ago. You were just young." She always had such a forgiving spirit! That is something else I learned from her. The fine godly art of forgiving. Forgiving others and myself. Top of page

I wrote this poem for Mama two years before we lost  her. She loved it. In Her Soft Arms© By Ruth Bohonsuik The comfort and love I felt as a small child,   Came from my Mama; as she hummed with a smile. Wearing her kimono, she'd sit and rock me to sleep.   Her soft arms, I remember when we lived on Eighth Street.   She'd often hum and sing me nursery rhymes,   Or tell a story that began with, "Once upon a time."   If anyone tried to harm me, they'd have the devil to pay.   For  Mama would face anyone, anytime, any day.   Wrapped in her soft arms with my head close to her breast,   I felt peaceful and serene, from my fears I could rest. She'd dry my tears and the sniffles would go,   And I'd relax in her arms like soft melting snow.    Her love reassured me from hurt and from harm   As she hummed and held me snug, In her warm soft arms. "My diamonds and pearls are my five girls"... Nan Head

A Special Childhood Memory When I was seven years old, I returned home after spending a year with relatives in West Virginia, I was most anxious to get back home to my immediate family, whom I missed terribly. When we arrived, I jumped out of the car and ran straight in the house to Mamma's and Daddy's arms. She was just finishing the special cake she had made for me. What a surprise, when Mama told me that she and Daddy had gotten a city permit that allowed them to block off our street for a party— just for me! A real block party with all our friends and neighbors. Games were played with many prizes and treats. We all had a great time. Mama also had a brand new beautiful pink organza party dress ready for me to wear to my party. There was lots of excitement in the air with everybody welcoming me back home. WHAT A HOMECOMING! Did I ever feel special! That was my Mama.

Turning Point in Mama's Life

The turning point in her life was, after a personal investigation into the Holy Scriptures, and much prayer, she dedicated her life to her Creator Jehovah God to do his Divine Will. Mama's life truly began at this point in time. She symbolized this dedication by water baptism in imitation of Jesus Christ on October 9, 1985. As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, she became an ordained minister. Mama was an active member of the Avondale Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses in Cincinnati, Ohio. This was actually my own original congregation. She was a bold proclaimer of God's heavenly kingdom. In the foot-steps of Jesus Christ, she often carried a portable stool and sat at bus stops, or in a park to give a witness for her Creator, thus demonstrating her precious faith. She found a special joy in sharing the Bible and its hope for the future with various seniors in her apartment residences. All her life, Mama was a hard working, kind, generous and happy person. She was demonstratively affectionate and loved her family. She loved people in general, music, parties and cooking big meals for her countless guests. In recent years, due to failing health Mama was unable to be as productive. However, her faith, her happiness, as reflected in her smile remained strong. Like the Ever-Ready battery, she was ever-ready to give a witness for her God Jehovah and His Son, Jesus Christ. Mama left five daughters: Ruth, Bobbie, Joann, Phyllis and Debbie. She is also survived by 17 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren and 6 sisters. All of whom sorely miss her. Diabetes complications also took her dear grieving sister Corrine, just five months later. Her children had her buried next to Mama. She often used the expression: "The Great Jehovah".   Her favorite Kingdom Melody the she wanted sung at her memorial service was song #15,    "Life Without End - At Last".   Top of page

I had the privilege of being at her side during her final hour. This incredibly poignant experience is lovingly related in the following poem "The Robbery". THE ROBBERY© By Ruth Bohonsuik

A  robbery's taking place Quick! Call 911!  No! - There's no use. For nothing can be done. I'm being robbed of my Mama! Don't you all see?  With each labored breath, she's being taken from me.   Wiping her lip and gently stroking her arm,  This woman who always protected me from harm.  This cannot be happening! A robbery's taking place!  As I read aloud Psalm 23 and watch her twisted face.   She doesn't look like my Mama, as she lay in that bed.  But it is Mama's feet, her hands, her hair, her head.  The machine I watch, as life's functions slow down.  Her arm slowly cooling as her face displays a frown.   Her eyes partly open; "Nurse, can she see"?  "No," was the answer, "just relaxed" for the sleep.  "My word is my bond," she always used to say,  My big, strong Mama. Now she's slipping away.   She puffed out little breaths that were only half-full,  Then she breathed in and labored, as the big one she pulled,  Life's force was gone. The Robbery was complete. And all I could do, was to let her go - peacefully to sleep. "Until we meet again in Paradise." Luke 23:43 (Holy Bible)

When Mama died, it was related to me that a circuit overseer in Cincinnati used an illustration about our many loved ones going into death's sleep in this time of the end. A few week later, in the depths of grief, the following words came to mind in the form of three poems. Two are on this page.

THE PARADISE TRAIN© By Ruth Bohonsuik We're on a onward moving train to Paradise  Whose passengers are booked for eternal life  However, some on that train get sick and fall asleep  They're sent to the sleep-car so they can rest in peace. They are still on our train, Riding with us - as we go.  Our destination is Paradise,  Only then will it unload. The Great Crowd is conducted off the train, Then Christ Jesus, The Master , speaks,  To those in the sleep-car— "Come on out!"  The time has come for the end of all grief. Our loved ones are finally awakened, And received with unspeakable delight.  Known only to those who are faithful,  And preserved through Armageddon's fight.    The depth of sadness and grief once known, As promised, is matched by joys untold.  Never again by death will loved ones be severed.  Together we praise, The Great Jehovah forever. The things we will do! Ah! The plans we will make. Unhindered by illness, pain, sadness or aches.  Fear will be gone, that enemy death is no more,  Are some of the things our dear Father has in store. In the name of Christ Jesus, your Only Begotten Son, We prayerfully thank you Jehovah, for you are the One,  Who arranged for us to come - aboard this train,  That transported us, 'From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained.' "All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen." Emerson

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