[I]n the beginning, the internet was a place of paradise and peace. Then the demons came. First came the plague of lamers, who spoke the tongue of K-rad. And they sought to destroy all that was pure and holy, in search of their D00Dz. "\/\/e $ee|< 0|_|R fE||0\/\/ D00Dz!!!!!" they cried, in their desire to CYA L8r and TTyL. And with the coming of the annoying lamers, one third of the newsgroups were destroyed.

[S]econd came the plague of flamers. In fury and anger, did the flamers strike. And anger was spread through the Net. And so another third of the newsgroups were destroyed. Spawned from the lowest pits of hell, these were demons with the infinite fury, minimal intelligence, and a lifetime of living in their parent's basements. They sought to rid the world of all D00Dz, non-D00Dz, and everyone else. And so the flames came.

[T]hird came the plague of spammers. They came by the droves, and flooded the Net with their messages of greed and deception. They destroyed the last third of the newsgroups, and with that they turned upon the e-mail boxes. Relentless, the spam came by the masses. And there was no hope for the Net. Spam, spam, spam, spam! "We apologize, do not reply to above addresss, this is a one time mailing." They spoke the lies of the serpent. Onward they came, and there was no haven, no protection, no hope.

[T]here shall come salvation, one day. They will come from the depths of hell, but they shall be our saviours. They shall rid the Net of the lamers. They shall clear the Net of flamers. They shall banish the spammers away. They shall be the best, the last, the only line of defense. They shall work in secret, in shadow... and they will be DAMNED.