Author-Mark DeSouza Dated from-16/03/99 - 18/03/99
Kind- Romance, with a touch of comedy and violence ( 13 years and
above)
ACTRESS-Karishma Winslett
ACTOR-Leonardo Di Singh
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Note from Author- This is a true story, but a few parts have been
changed. the characters names are real, and the grandmother in
this story is the real person. I hope you enjoy this story and I
Hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings, so feel free to complain. If
you want a copy e-mailed to you, give us your e-mail address, and
We will e-mail it to you for FREE!
We are also sorry for the font we have used in the printing of this
Novel, as we had a technical and sponsor problem. Reporters of
C.A.T.C.O Enterprises had gone to one of the survivors of India’s
Titanic, and this is exactly, how she told us the story.
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Hello! My name is Jennifer Scab, and I would like to tell you one of
My life incidents. I was once a rich girl. We lived in Arkansas, U.S.A
, and the life was too modern and crowded for us . We were fed up of
It, so we wanted a little time away from civilization. My parents
said that that even I would like some peacefulness, and time away
From civilization, so, the next we packed our things and went to
India. We had heard that India was a very mysterious country. We
Landed in Bombay, which is now called Mumbai. We stayed at the
HOTEL LEELA for a day, and then we headed out for DELHI. In Delhi
, My parents took me to the TAJ MAHAL. Over there, my personal
Servant saw a poster which said that a new ship, bigger than the
1st TITANIC was made, and it was fully computerized. It was
Going to sail from the Yamuna to the Ganga and then the Bay of
Bengal to the Pacific Islands and then back home to the U.S.A.
On seeing it, my parents were stuck on the idea to take the ship
. Well, we took it, and we had taken a cabin in the "Royal Suite"
Class. My parents allowed me to roam alone on the deck, so, I
Did!!
On the deck, I met a man who was also rich. He said that he
Was a famous actor, and that his name was SHAH RUKH KHAN. I saw
Him roaming with another woman, who said that she was a famous
Actress, called Urmila Matodkar , and that they were to film a
Movie on the Bay of Bengal. Well, I kind of liked this man ,
Shah Rukh , and so , I wanted to get him. But , could I get him?
What if he did not like me?? Then what would I do ??? So , I gave
up the idea , and so , I went on with my life . Onboard , I went
to the beginning of the ship . Suddenly , I heard footsteps!! It
was Shah Rukh. On seeing me , he began to dance , and sing a song
called "CHIAYA CHAIYA " . He was a real show off !! He took me on
the tip o fthe ship , and made me do the same postures like in the
movie "TITANIC" . He was so clumsy , that I slipped and fell
overboard , and I was about clinging on to the Bars of th eship.
If I lost my grip , I woul dfall overboard and become
AMERICAN FINE GRADED MINCE . Suddenly , I saw another
boy of the age of about 23 years. He punched Shah Rukh of ,
and the next moment , we saw mince , mayur suiting shredded
material , Amul underwear , Ray Ban sun glasses etc.. flying
about. We were now sure that he had become Halal slaughtered
mince!! Anyway , th eother boy who was about 23 years old ,
saved me . He said , that his name was Bal Thackeray. he then
said that he was joking !! (What a cheap joke!)
After that , he said that his name was KuthaKamina Singh , and
that he was just a poor man and he was going to the U.S to earn
some money. He then said that he was from Haryana , and that he was
a sikh . He said that his friends called him Sikander. I asked him why
he did not have a turban , so , he replied that , while saving me ,
his turban fell over board. I said sorry , and he said that it was no
problem. He said that he was born on th eoutskirts of punjab , and that his mother was a truckdriver. He said that his father was working on the ship. He then offered me a Pan Supari and some Dhal. He said that he had no friends , and that he I was his first friend. He said that he loved me , and I told him that I loved him to . He bagan to scream "BALLE!BALLE!"
After 2 days , we were on the outskirts of the ganges and Kuthakamina
and I had become very close friends. he then took me to a cinema
on booard on board , and we saw , "Kaun" , "Titanic" ,
"Jooth Bole Keeda Kathe" & "Sesame Street : Uncensored"(What a romantic guy!!).
he also took me to a Disco Tech . In the Disco Tech , we heard
music by A.R.Rahmantis & Ali Billi . We also heard famous songs
like "Billi Tujhe Salaam" & " Vande Titanic" . at the moment ,
we were on the Ganges. He took me to the edges of the ship to
see the water. We saw plenty of things in the water, like halfburnt
bodies. By the way , we werent in the clear sacred clean holy water
of the Ganges , but in the remaining poluted water. While moving
through to the water , lots of noises came from our ship engines ,
and we had to stop the ship. We then go tnews that , there were
hundreds of half burnt bodies stuck in the engines and that they
had created havoc to the engines and to the sides of the ship ,
scraping the edges of the ship. After 18 hours , the engines were
fixed , and we were back on our way. After 2 days , we had stopped
at a small port on the banks of the Gangees , at Kanpur . We rested
there on the ship for 3 days and then , we headed off to the Bay of
Bengal . On the way , we were stopped by the Indian Navy , and we
were checked. They said that they were suspecting some cocaine on
board. After checking , they caught about 50% of the people . They
said that they thought that the Talcum Powder was cocaine.
After that incident of the stupid Indian Navy , we were back on our
way .
Kuthakamina took me to the end of the ship to talk to me alone.
He said " Jenny , I don`t know how to say this Beta , but , will
you become Mrs. Kuthakamina? Our nlife will be Balle! Balle! ".
I said " I would like to marry you , but , only if you change your
name. He said " AA! Kya Bolthi Tu? Mai tumko ek dandaa se maar dhegaa!"
. I said " Go ahead , make my day! As-ta-la-vis-ta baby!" and I
shot him . I then threw his body overboard.At the same moment ,
I saw a gigantic statue heading towards the ship. I , at once ,
ran to the Captain , and told him that there was a statue heading
towards the ship. He turned on all the alarms , and began to steer
the ship away from the statue. But , it was no use , and then the
ship struck the statue. There was now a big dent in the ship ,
and it was estimated , tat the ship would sink in about 9 hours ,
47 minutes and 32 seconds. The captain ordered all the life boats
to be loaded and began to send S.O.S messages which said
"HELP HIT A GANPATI" . I suddenly began to feel bad for
killing Kuthakamina , that I began to cry. Then , the captain
told me that there were lifeboats to only carry 60%
of the people , but , 18 life boats had holes in them ,
so , only 32% of the people coul dsurvive. Luckly for me ,
here was a politician , who liked me so much , that he bribed
someone to put me on the lifeboat. So , I escaped from the ship,
an din about 18 hours, a ship called
"PRIYAKUTHASWAMI KA BETA NANGANADDALALOOSINGH SWAMI" Saved us and
left us at a Port in Calcutta.From there , I went to find my parents ,
but I lear`nt that they had died on the ship , because of the shrtage
of lifeboats. I also lear`nt that 125,517,518,681,651,6545 people had
died. And that only 847,541,5848,5612 people had survived. I then
changed my name to Jennifer KuthaKamina Singh , and went back to the
U.S . Three years later , I married a man and now I am a grandmother.
I have a daughter , who is 23 years and I am 89 years , dependent on
my daughter who feeds me and I am also dependent on my false teeth.
Now , I would like to say thankyou to the author of this book , Mark
& C.A.T.C.O Enterprises Ltd. for listening to my story , and
publishing it. I would also like to say that , TRUE LOVE LASTS FOREVER!
, so , even though Kuthakamina died , he will always be with me in my
heart.
THE END
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PUBLISHED BY-C.A.T.C.O Enterprises
Story by- Mark deSouza
P.S - This novel has been written not to hurt anybody , anything or
any religious beliefs. Therefore , if you have a problem with it ,
e-mail us your problem to the following addresses without your name ,
if you please -
Mark_q8@yahoo.com
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Sponcers- Amul Underwear (The buttery underwear)
lyril Underwears (The fresh lemon Underwear)
Mayur Suiting (We proved our quality in this novel)
Tanzifco Plastic Underwears (KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE!)
C.A.T.C.O Enterprises Ltd.
Immortals International
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All clothes , underwears and makeups were given by the sponcers to
be used in the film starring- Leonardo di Singh & Karishma Winslet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------