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So much botttled up inside,
I know why it's still inside me and alone you have cried,
I try and make sense out of what I think,
but I'm lost in confusion and so much thought,
I have so much kept inside.
Who are you to talk and chastise.
I am the man who cannot be phased.
I think of the past and again I'm plagued,
by the thought of eternity and my waste of time.
Who is it that thinks to be so inclined,
to comprehend who I am and what I feel.
You have no clue, and again I yield,
to stupidity and the fucking game.
I dont lose these things - you should know, how fucking lame.
I know what I need, but it's without,
you or the feeling of anything of circumstance and consequence,
I deny and wonder did I ever feel a thing,
I died and somone didn't feel anything.
It felt good to bask in that sorrow.
It was old and familiar, painfully new,
to realize I wasn't the one that was hollow.
I knew it from the start, one shouldn't try,
I was mistaken, to think one wouldnt lie.
Ive given up, on those that feel,
I dont know what it's like, to me thats real.
I wonder what its like underneath.
Do I feel at all, can you see my sheath?
Alone I'm destined to be,
Ive writ it before, who thinks it but me,
The man, the eyes, the fan, overjoyed.
I doubt I will get read like I choose to read,
those that I give it, give in to that greed.
They have no idea, what I try to give,
and all I see, is that it's mine to forgive.
Somehow, someway, I have done wrong,
It's the story of my life, such a beautiful song.
How am I to know, you have drama besides,
The life I lead, I ask only to ride,
with me alone, what I have to show.
We are alone, when it's time to go.
I have no faith in what those believe,
I've grown immune, the ace up my sleeve.
I feel not, from those that don't matter,
I wait and wait, alone in laughter.
When I do it will be simply bliss,
I've been praying so long, I long for that kiss,
I see eyes, and I see desire run across her face.
If one only knew the desire was just a taste,
I have to give. I wont give up,
I'll die before I give in to some cowardly slut(s).
I'm still here awaiting for that one,
still waiting, my desire of pleasures and fun,
I've known it all along, biding my time,
And I knew better, far from one of a kind.
Dime a dozen, I see you everyday.
Yet they look better, what more could I say..
that would sum it up tighter, and characterize it perfectly,
I gave hope for a minute, and it wound up hurting me.
The fool for a week, the pain I forgot,
came bubbling back...making sure I had not,
lost sight of my goal, and set me free from that path,
I've found my way and again I can laugh.
I forgot who I was searching for, life showed me the truth.
How much time I've wasted, how it's made me puke.
Never again just because its there and easy, taking that which simply desires me.
Now it's for me to seek out, one that's as real as me, real as can be.
So glad to be back, and shown where I should look,
It won't be so easy, but at least this time, I've picked the right book.
Where is that one now, how I try to find,
I'm lost in the treasure, not far behind,
my earth, my world, and what I think.
Where will you be, I am your shrink,
Again on the road, the one that got diverged,
mommentarily and confused, no longer submerged.
I'm back, here now, always and ever,
I simply won't hurt, my heart's too clever.