Title: Happenstance
Author: Justine
Glass
E-mail
Address: Feedback happily read and
answered at
Julan777@aol.com
Rating: G
Category: V, Missing Scene
Spoilers: Ascension
Keywords: M/Sk
UST
Summary: Skinner tells Krycek to take Mulder
home . . .
and then changes his mind.
Archive: No
where without my permission, please.
Disclaimer:
No permission has been granted, no
money has
been made, no infringement is intended.
Dedication:
For Dawn, without whom none of this
would have
happened.
Happenstance
by Justine
Glass
It was not a
result of planning or orchestration, of
forethought
or design or even the manipulation of
circumstances.
Mulder ended up in his boss' bed
purely by
accident. Coincidence. Chance.
At least
that was what Skinner told himself as he
stood in the
doorway of his own bedroom and looked
in on the
man drifting in and out of a light doze on his
sheets. Skinner had fought to keep himself from the
doing this,
from checking up, just like he had fought
the impulse
to bring Mulder home, like he had fought
so many
impulses regarding Mulder in the past few
days.
Scully was
gone. She had disappeared without a
trace from
Skyland Mountain, and Mulder's will to go
on had
vanished with her. He lived now for one
thing
and one
thing only--to find her. All other
compulsions
and obsessions gone, although Skinner
supposed
that this new raison d'etre was just an
alteration
of Mulder's initial quest to find a different
her, a
different reason.
He couldn't
do it alone.
And he
couldn't do it the way he had been in the
office--pale,
frantic, and frightened out of his mind by
the
possibility that she wasn't ever coming back.
"Make
sure he gets some rest," he'd said to Mulder's
new partner,
Krycek. But he'd changed his mind
without
knowing why, unconvinced that Mulder
would rest,
uncertain of Alex Krycek's ability to help
his
partner. If it had been Scully, he
could have sent
Mulder off
without another word, knowing that she . .
.
Skinner
sighed. Fruitless to think like that.
"Something
wrong?"
"I
didn't know you were awake, Agent Mulder."
Mulder
smiled, eyes still closed.
"I
think we can dispense with the formalities in your
bedroom,
sir."
"How do
you feel?"
Mulder sat
up, swinging his legs over the edge of the
bed. He was still wearing his office clothes,
even his
tie. He looked as if he had been crumpled up and
thrown away.
"Like
shit."
Skinner felt
his arms fold across his chest.
"You
should get
some more sleep."
Mulder
glanced sideways at him. "Thanks,
Dad."
Skinner said
nothing. Mulder should sleep, and he
wouldn't,
and that was that. There was no point
in
arguing. Only Scully could argue with Mulder and
win.
"So that's
it," Mulder said eventually.
"What
do you want me to say, Agent Mulder?
You've made
your position on the matter completely
clear."
"Completely
clear," Mulder repeated. He
laughed a
little,
hitching his shoulders.
"Completely clear. No
disrespect,
*sir*, but I don't even know what the
fuck I'm
doing here."
"You're
here so I can keep an eye on--"
"An
*eye* on me!" Mulder was up off the bed,
shouting. "An eye on me. It seems like everyone in
the goddamn
world is keeping an eye on me. Who's
fucking
looking for Scully?"
Skinner
stood there, silent, arms crossed over his
chest.
"I
should be out there, sir. I should be
looking for
her."
"You're
not leaving."
"Who
are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?"
Skinner stepped
up to his agent. "I am your
superior,
and I am a senior agent with more field
experience
in my little finger than you and Agent
Scully put
together, and I decide when my agents go
out in the
field and when they would be a danger to
themselves
and others by doing so. Am I
clear?"
He didn't
raise his voice, because he knew he didn't
have
to. Mulder was fighting exhaustion and
guilt--
he needed
sleep and he desperately wanted to be on
Scully's
trail, sacrificing himself for his holy grail--all
Skinner had
to was take away the guilt option and
Mulder would
be fine.
"Fine."
Skinner
almost smiled.
"I'll
leave you alone then. There are pajamas
in the
bottom
drawer." He stepped back and drew the door
closed
behind him.
Then he leaned
against the wall and covered his face
with his
hands. Jesus. This was a mistake.
Mulder
should go
home, should go anywhere but here . . . the
idea of
Mulder in his bed, in his pajamas . . . it was
too much.
He heard the
sound faintly at first, as if he were
hearing it
with only the corner of his mind. A
soft
thud. Skinner was too absorbed in the image of
Mulder
wrapped in his own flannel pjs to pay it much
heed. Then it happened again, twice, quickly. Thud,
thud. And another sound, something small.
"Mulder?"
He opened the door.
He would
have laughed if the sight hadn't been so
pathetic.
Mulder sat
on the edge of the bed clutching at his tie,
his face
flushed with effort. The noise had
apparently
been his elbow hitting the headboard as
his hand
slipped, which it did once more just as
Skinner came
in.
"That
has to hurt," he said.
Mulder
glanced up, eyes furious and bleary.
Eyes on
the edge of
something.
"Let
me," Skinner said, crouching in front of the
man. He reached out and took the tie, pushing
Mulder's
hands out of the way. "This is
quite a knot.
Originally a
double windsor, huh? What a
bitch." He
was talking
low and quick to soothe Mulder and to
cover his
own nervousness. He could feel the heat
coming from
the man.
Skinner
pulled on the knot, moving it first one way
then the
other, trying to ignore the fact that Mulder
was watching
his face from only inches away. If he
concentrated,
he could feel breath on his cheek. He
tried not to
concentrate.
"I
can't even take off my own tie," Mulder said.
"It's
all right, it happens."
"To
who?" Mulder laughed. "Who
does this shit
happen
to? Just me."
"Happens
to the best of us," Skinner said, trying not
to hear the
panic in the other man's voice.
"There
are certain things that only seem to happen
to me,
sir." Mulder's voice ran slow and deliberate.
"Certain
things that seem like fate.
Kismet."
"Hey!"
Skinner breathed as the knot loosened
abruptly. "Got it!"
He looked up
at Mulder's face, smiling a little.
"Here
. . ."
He stopped.
Mulder gazed
at him, half-seeing, half lost behind a
thin curtain
of tears. "Some things only happen
to
me," he
said again, hardly whispering. Skinner
realised
that he still held the ends of Mulder's tie in
his hands
like a leash.
Without
thinking, he tugged on it.
Mulder fell
forward, bonelessly, slumping against
Skinner in
sudden and complete surrender.
"Only
me," he said again, and Skinner sighed.
"That's
not true," he murmured. He hugged
Mulder
tight
against him, feeling the shuddering of someone
trying not
to cry and not really succeeding.
"It's not
true."
He had no idea what he was denying, he didn't
even think
he made sense, but that didn't seem
important. One of his hands was on the back of
Mulder's
neck, pressed against the soft hair at the
nape of his
neck.
He shifted
to releive some of the pressure on his
knees and
was startled by Mulder's arms tightening
around his
ribs.
"It's
okay," he said. He moved and
somehow
manuvered
them so that he was on the bed, resting
against the
headboard, Mulder reclining across his
chest. Skinner held him secure against his chest,
brushed his
hair back, touched his face, reveling
quietly and
shamefully in the contact.
After a
while, Mulder tilted his head back, meeting
Skinner's
eyes. The emotional storm had passed:
his
eyes were
clear and luminous. His words were soft
and
startling.
"You
can kiss me if you want to."
Skinner
found his head dipping toward Mulder's
before he
could think. The kiss was soft and
closed,
brief.
"I
don't think so, Mulder," Skinner breathed almost
on the man's
mouth. "I don't think we
should."
He wanted
to, to kiss Mulder, to hold him like this,
only more,
only naked, he wanted to kiss him open-
mouthed and
hotly, with Mulder's hands pinned
above his
head and his hips moving in fledgling need,
with nothing
between them but sweat. Oh, he
wanted to.
But he
couldn't, not now. Not until Scully was
found,
alive or
dead, and Mulder was free. Freer.
Mulder
nodded, and pressed closer, his arms snug
around
Skinner's waist.
Eventually,
he fell asleep.
Skinner
stayed up, watching him, for a long time.
*****end*****