Do we make idols of our love? In an article about being complete as an individual, Fern Horst mentioned that love focused on one particular individual over God is a form of idolatry. (You can find articles by Fern at Singleness.org She makes a point that's worth thinking about: "Any time we look to anyone or anything other than God to give us meaning, to meet our needs, we are creating an idol." I have to agree that certain kinds of love, are indeed idolatrous. An unhealthy focus on romance may actually hinder love.

Idolatry is where any person, love, thing or interest takes the place of God in our reverence and devotions. Does this mean that we should not love another person with full devotion? On the contrary, a man is to love his wife with all of his heart and to cleave unto her and none else. Paul said a men should love his wife as Christ loved the church. A wife should love and honor her husband, as he remains righteous in the Lord.

Could married love become idolatrous? Or any other love for that matter? The answer is yes. Is the problem love, or is it something else?

We need to distinguish pure love, defined as charity, from mistaken concepts and imitations of love that come in many forms. Obviously charity is not out of harmony with the Gospels and Letters. If we practice Christian love, it is the essence of pure, undefiled religion. Charity is genuine love for others as children of God. The dual points of the Law and the Prophets are loving God with all our heart, might, mind and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves. We can't do the one without the other. We serve God through loving service to our fellowman.

Does our love become idolatrous when we single out one person for our devotion? If our "love" is only for the individual, the answer becomes yes. Many people seem to think that they can love one special person in their heart, while holding contempt and ill will for others. Feelings of hate, greed and animosity are out of harmony with love of God. They deny the power of Christ's atonement for all of God's children. Dark emotions cut us off from the true source of love.

Some people are so in love with the idea of love, that romance becomes the main focus. Whether or not this imitation of love is attached to an individual, this form of worship is idolatrous. Infatuation based in emotional dependency comes from deprivation and lack of self-esteem. It is bolstered by a false sense of validation from an other's love.

Lust is a counterfeit of love. It is selfish gratification of one's appetites and desires which regards the other merely as an object for pleasure. Pornography, stalking, voyeurism and all forms of sexual violence are forms of auto-eroticism and have nothing to do with love. They are base forms of idol worship.

The idea of a one-and-only love serves the infatuation myth. Divorce rates are fueled by rampant disregard and un-owned responsibility of those who fall out of love. People who pursue this myth go on placing their expectations in one person after another, hoping each time to find the "right one." Disillusionment inevitably results from the impossible expectations of a destined lover, who will be the final answer to the lonely heart. The ultimate answers come from God, not man.

The "greatest love of all," contrary to Whitney Houston's heartfelt strains, is not love of self. It is the self-sacrificing love of Christ for each and every child of God.

Love in marriage is a triangle that includes whole-hearted commitment to God and each other. When a husband and wife have charity for all, and love and devotion to God, only then will they be able to give the highest expression of love in their marriage.
 
 
 

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