IIntroductions JBU Oregon Page

Thoughts For The Day - A Message For All Our Readers

Your Past

Lookning at your past... where does it take you but nowhere. You must always look to the future, what is to become of you not what you were. Some of us have to pay for mistakes made in the past but se la vi, such is life. For those of us who have had an amazing past and who have an unpleasent present, looking back is fun and exzilarating for the moment but in no way satisfying. In fact it brings pain along with unsatisfaction. The two combined are an incredibly painful stab at the heart. It can be hard to look to the future because it is uncertain and above all unpredictable. No one can live in the past, and those that do are left behind by the everpresent undying tide of time. For myself an introvert, I dwell on the past much of the time, especially when I am alone. These are the conclutions I have come to. For some of us it is no problem to brush it off our shoulders like dust from a trip on a long road. They look forward to the future without missing a step. My life seems to have gone stagnent, and because of this I dwell on the past and because I dwell on the past my life becomes more stagnant. It is an unending cycle of nonthingness. I know there are people out there who are just like me. Even from a young age I had a hard time continuing with life, this is becasue the good times never outlasted the dull or miserable. I know it is pathetic to wish for a life that is full of neverending fun and exciting adventures but what fun is life otherwise. I hate a routine life of work, all you do is go to work do all your boring work then come home late and do nothing for several hours go to bed then get up and go back to work. What an auful way to live. I know many people go on like this for their lifetime and live a happy satisfying life. I just don't see how I can, how can I just sit around when there are adverntures to be had and places to see? I both posess and do not posess patience. As a reslut of my passive personality I can wait patiently for things that are late, for things that are happening slowly, but as soon as the adventure ends, I'm restless and depressed until I can get out and start living again. Doing one thing would never come close to satisfying my lust for life. I must constantly be moving on to the next adventure. I repeatadly use the words "satisfy", and "adventure" because both in my mind seem to describe in the most simplest way what I feel in my heart and soul. When I am in one of those stagnent phases I usually systematically cut off my closest friends. This is because when I talk to them I am reminded of who I once was and what I once did and it brings pain. Pain that makes me want to get up and run, frustration that pulls me apart inside. When it comes to life I am shortsighted and need glasses. I must be patient for what life has in store for me. I must put in my time to be rewared. Hopefully I will live long enough to see what I sewed, but for the meantime I will have to simply be patient and live the life put before me.

Why

What does the question 'why' accomplish when it concerns our creator. When we ask that question about our circumstances in life what does it do for us and what are the implications. When we dig through our subconcious or just the deeper relms of our concious, what we find is not good. When we ask that question it is significant because it signifies a lack of faith, or dissolutionment. We can easliy be dissolutioned by the world around us and can lose sight of Gods love and everlasting forgivness that was given to us by Jesus. The question why and what Jesus did for us are directly connected. Jesus was the most perfect being ever to exist and what the world did to him was the most unjust, unfair thing to be done to anyone who will ever exist from the begining of time to the end. Life is not fair. Life is filled with hardship and pain. How you deal with it is what matters. God is just. When the time of judgment comes he will be just to you. He will give you what you deserve, and it is through Jesus that we that we may receive justice. His sacrifice saves us now and at the judgement. Why... when you find yourself asking God why, ask him for strength. Ask for you heart to be softened. Next time we find our selves asking why, stop and think about what you are asking, and what you will accomplish by asking it.

Reality

Reality is an illusion. As matter of fact, nothing exsits with the exception of your relationship to God. As a human, what do you do when you are frightend? When your absolutly sure of your death? You talk to God, or maybe wonder is there really a God. All your life really comes down to, is your relationship with Him. All the crap we acumulate over the coarse of our lives dosen't count for didely squat when the end is near. All the distractions of life peel back to reveal what is actually going on. Material things are our greatest test. It is so hard because we need money to live but at what point does is become a disctraction from God, at what point do we start spoiling ourselves or others around us. What if we just want to provide for our children and maybe their children. Every man is different, and is the test of a real man to provide and still have a relationship with that that matters most; God. When I am lucky enough to have such a revelation like I did last night, it was a breath of purity knowing things are still so black and white even though in this day an age the gray zone is bigger than either.

Ourselves

Facing our own reflections is the hardest thing a person can do. It forces us to see our own faults and deal with them. It tears us down to a person who God loves and wants. He wants someone who has nothing left but their core. Looking inwardly can be especially painful if you have been behaving pridefully or have forgotten to be humble. Despite how terrible it makes us feel, we can still find comfort in that God loves us for who we are no matter how awful we look like from the outside. - Andrew Owen Inspired by a friend in need

Narrow Path

The Narrow Path through life. What makes life easy? What is efficeint and simple. The road less traveled is definetly is neither of them,it is slow, painful and fulfilling. Living life by the rules God put in front of us is hard. Maintaining a relationship with Him is very difficult in and of its self. To do so we have to make Him a priority in our lives. Oswald Chambers wrote in My Utmost For His Highest that despite our physical lives that we live we must make our relationship with Him first despite the effects it has on our outward appearance. Having things together on the outside dosen't ultimately matter as long as we have everything togther on the inside. Unfortuetly there is more to life than having fun. There are things that are bigger that us. Even if someone dosen't belive in God, why not choose the narrow path for the sake of perfection and fulfilment. It obviously takes a turning point in someones life to cause such a durastic change. Unfortunetly we are not creatures of perfection and are flawed and for many this change will never happen, sometimes we are just not capable. For this current western young generation is especially difficult to put aside the distractions of technology that can eat away a persons life. So many people today especially in America just don't have time to sit down and contemplate life.

Love

The power of the holy spirit as it moves through a crowd is an awe inspiring thing that moves the soul and our emotions humbling us before God. Overcome with emotion that whells up out of the soul you can't help but feel overwhelming joy and sadness. Wanting to weep is a natural reaciton to the movment of the holy spirit as it softens our hearts to the will of God. We feel one of God's greatest comandments, to love others as we love ourselves, in such strong wafts we feel bewildered. What am I suppose to feel, why am I feeling like this, these are some of the emotions one feels. Guidence and forgivness were things that stood out in my mind as my strongest desires. All this power derives from God's love for us. The power of love is the strongest force on earth and it requires a lifetime of devotion and selflessness that few posses.

Boy At Heart

I just watched one of my all time favorite movies, Hook, with RobinWilliams. The story of Peter Pan always stikes a chord in my heart. The thought of always staying a boy, of always having an unlimited unspoiled imagination fasinates me. An island with forests and Oceans and rivers and mountains and rivers. Never ending joy. I know I'm rediculus because I'm such a boy at heart. I can't help it because I can still remember playing when I was a boy, all the imaginary worlds I created and forts built, rivers swum, damed and fished. Wondering around "exploring", that was always the best, exploring. Also, when you are a child such small things can provide such a grand spectrum of fun because of the childs imagination. Perhaps that is the reason that the thought of it, having adventures, so intregues me now. My imagination remains in an adults body. I just
wish I would be more satisfied with small things like I was when I was a boy. Now because of the great adventures I have had and ones that spoil my mind on TV I must have a grander adventure than the last. Perhaps that is why I seek it, because it was a comfort to me when I was younger, I could reclude my self into my mind. Now that I am not in a comfortable place, I seek that comfort. Oh life, it is such a great thing, and today in a world with so many choices I don't know which way I want mine to go. So many amazing options, which one is the correct one for me. I just hope I can find my niche soon because I feel time and youth sliping through my fingers like sand faster with each day that passes. With each day that passes I feel
that oportunities to explore and have good old fashioned adventers are getting smaller and smaller. Many times I feel that I was born about 75 years too late. 75 years ago when my grandfather was a boy the world was still wild, it was just enough of a hastle to travel that hardly anyone did. This is foolish though, all we can do is look to the future there are still new frontiers that are wild and hardly explored. In this new world I hope I can find my boyish attidude at the amazment of life. I hope I can learn to find pleasure in the small things of life.

American Dream - Aaron (Edd Herzog) Flynn

Freedom. What does it really mean? They call america the Land of the Free. Since moving here I have found no freedom in america. I have found commercial appeal and easily attainable monetary income, but not freedom. Because I find myself every day trapped into thinking that the only happiness in life is becoming rich, watching garbage programming cable all day, and getting shit faced at night. Which is, in my definition of freedom, not it. I consider my childhood much more free than this. I didn't care that we had only KTN and KBC to watch. I didn't care that there were potholes all over the road. It didn't bother me that life was uncomfortable from time to time with no power or water. It was the fact that life was unpredictable that made it richer, more exciting, and freed me to stop worrying about how things were going to turn out and just enjoy the memories that we were making. And that's the long short of it. The comfortable living conditions, the life lived in air conditioning, the mall next door will not stick with me. It's the memories of danger, wilderness, and stories of these real life occurances that will serve us to our dying days. This is why we must keep shiznit alive. An international connection of tales and experiences that never end. Memories more valuable than anything physical we can ever attain in this lifetime.

Weakness

Every person has a weakness. It is not hard to find a mans weakness. All it takes is a little probing. No man is inocent...No man. Everyone is equally ashamed. Hiding your weakness makes you even more vulnerable. The only way to conquer your weaknesses is to be open about them, when you are, you don't feel as judged and can find strength in that. Your ability to stand up to your weakness makes you stronger, be warned though, with stength comes pride. With pride comes ego. With ego comes one of the greatest weaknesses of all, an inability to view yourself through a real perspective in comprison with the world around you. The greater your pride the greater your fall and the more the pride you have the less likely you are to see what is obviously in front of your eyes. Life is an unbalanced thing that everyone must be wary of. - The Hellgation

Manhood

We were boys when we lived in Kenya but left as Men. We are Men now, we go and fight, we riase families, we are responsible for doing noble things. I left when I was a boy, I imitated what I always imaged I wanted to be but now that I am actaully a man it is hard for me to accept my fate. As a Man. I don't know what to do. I am lost and confused. I have so many things I would like to do but still feel like I am unable because I still feel like a boy. I just need to get past that and realize my full potential as a Man. Man. Such a strange concept. Somthing we learn form our society, somting we learn from our fathers. As I sit here and drink this beer as I sit here and write this, does that make me a Man. What makes me a Man? Is it the great and noble things I do for society? Is it being able to survive in this world? Is it having sex with women? Is it just living out my life even if I am forced to live a simple
one? I think that is the greatest fear we face and third culture kids. Just living a simple life. To us, because we have lived such grandiose lives compared to the general public, we can't stand the thought of not doing somthing great, somthing without a great story to acompany it. These are the things that acompany the growing process of a man who has seen such great potential, and such great tragady in society. Inspired by Frank Ottaviano, written by Andrew Owen.

I think that the thing that we fear the most is the simple life or just the life that God has planned for us. It is the fear of doing somthing that we know is good for us. The fear of us giving up what we want so bad that we don't know what to expect. I pitty the man who believes in nothing, especial God.

The Picture

"I feel exactly the same except then I was just a boy and now I'm a man."
Frank Ottaviano - Jan. 29, 2005
As I look at the picture I can see the skull hung on the thistle tree and the old ripped up tarp blowing in the background. The dust blowing in the valley. Freedom. The sun beating down on us the swallows moving swiftly around us not a care in the world. We were the definition of free. Despite the pain we felt despite what we had to endure we were free when we there. Yes the wind, the valley, the skull, the essence of our being, everything we seek to get back to. But we were boys, now we are men. - Andrew Owen