How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
- - -Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I figure if the children are alive when my husband comes home, I’ve done my job." – Roseanne
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
-- Unknown
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
---Robin Williams (on Clinton/Lewinsky affair)
After being knocked unconcious, John Elway, when asked if he knew where he was responded.. "3rd down and 18 on the 20 yard line."
On discussing a video of suicide methods, Bill Maher is quoted as saying: "Get between Linda Tripp and a box of Eclairs."
"Men are like linoleum floors.. if you lay them right you can walk on them for thirty years."-Grace Under Fire
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My
husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the
police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code, he
turned himself in.--Rita Rudner
The Scallop swims backwards, and can't see even though it has 50 eyes. Sounds like most of the U.S.Government--Burt Wolf (Taste for Travel)
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
--Roseanne
"I belong to no organized party...I'm a Democrat!"-Will Rogers
"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." Rita Rudner
After being knocked unconcious, John Elway, when asked if he knew where he was responded.. "3rd down and 18 on the 20 yard line."
On discussing a video of suicide methods, Bill Maher is quoted as saying: "Get between Linda Tripp and a box of Eclairs."
"Men are like linoleum floors.. if you lay them right you can walk on them for thirty years."-Grace Under Fire
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My
husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the
police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code, he
turned himself in.--Rita Rudner
The Scallop swims backwards, and can't see even though it has 50 eyes. Sounds like most of the U.S.Government--Burt Wolf (Taste for Travel)
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
--Roseanne
"I belong to no organized party...I'm a Democrat!"-Will Rogers
"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." Rita Rudner
The Scallop swims backwards, and can't see even though it has 50 eyes. Sounds like most of the U.S.Government--Burt Wolf (Taste for Travel)
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
--Roseanne
"I belong to no organized party...I'm a Democrat!"-Will Rogers
"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." Rita Rudner
"I belong to no organized party...I'm a Democrat!"-Will Rogers
"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." Rita Rudner