July 14th 1997

Wrapped around like good little roses
i fall into the trap
i know she saw.
I know you're reading this and not surprised
You can tell me its over..
i can forget you..watching my every sound
until you reappear and i remember
and i become that weak little girl i used to be
that stares after you in awe
and love
and something she doesnt understand

She sits in the corner clutching her knees
crying into a phone
that feels like the only sane thing left on earth
and shes torn between everything
i love her. my friend
im a crazy devoted satellite
and im happy for you
but..
you know...

two songs ..
too many
its over
this time i told myself the truth
of lies while hanging onto the pale
when i remebmer..as for now.
Im just stuck there. You reminded me
oops.
Now where do i go?

July 31 1997

I am so lost. Im taking a journey, trying to come back.
To here. Maybe if it can be expressed, i can understand.
Why no one is connecting. WIth Me.
My closest connection, is her.
My friends. Im letting go. But im afraid to.
You've been, too good to me.
But im so lost. I want to pound my head on the ground
Knock some sense into me.
Tell me he's not good.
Tell me he's not psycho. Tell me he's not with her.
Somewhere we will meet. Won't we?
I don't know what im doing anymore. I am so lost.
Where am i going to?
When will i stumble into the light.
And go
Ahhhh.
there i am.