Gnarly, Dudes!

Why do I love snowboarding? Why do I love it, but I've grown to fear skiing? Why am I afraid to skateboard?
I love to snowboard because I can do it. I don't feel afraid, because, for some reason, it never hurts me. Unless my feet are cold. A friend of mine, Andria, (the same one who turned me on to Korn) Skateboards. She's not afraid to risk leaving her flesh on hot, abrasive pavement, and feels no fear, but, put her on a snowboard and she develops some kind of paranoia of killing herself with soft, yealding snow and a foot thick layer of wool, fleece and gortex on her delicate skin. She says that the way a snowboard is attached to her feet scares her...while falling off a skateboard, it flys away and you can land on your feet. For me, it's the opposite. A strong, good snowboard attached firmly to my feet, ever so tight...it makes me feel stronger.
I love the speed and the fluidity of movement...Toe edge, heel edge, toe edge, heel edge....butt in butt out...and SWOOSH.
I was origionally afraid to try it, because my whole family was raised skiing, and all my Kamikasi cousins and brothers and I had just gotten really good at it. In fact, they had always been better than me. I had just developed enough skill to keep up with them. I enjoyed skiing, once I was on the mountain, but the whole idea of it, the mention of skiing made me feel afraid. I suppose, at that time, I was an incredibly paranoid, nervous, anxious person. I was overly eager to please, to feel acsepted or prove myself, and all I wanted was to be accsepted by all my male cousins. They were always eager and succsessful at everything they did, and they always got totally into everything they tried. It took me a season to work up the courage to try snowboarding....and when I did, I only did it to please them. When I finally got on a snowboard for the first time, I had just turned 15...it was the week of my birthday, and I was AWFUL. I was 10 times worse than the little 8 year olds puttering back and forth across the bunny hill. But I did it. I was standing up for maybe one track across the hill. Not turning yet, but, I was okay. The next time I tried it, I sprained my wrist...a common injury... but, the season ended.
The next year, Andria and My friend Carla and I decided to trek up to Cypress Bowl to try snowboarding. It was my 3rd time, and Carla's first. I was still crappy as heck, but, I turned for the very first time...and this was on the same bunny hill I learned to Ski on. I still remember trekking up to the hill with my skis on my shoulder, feeling so strange. My brother and his friend convinced me to try going up the chair lift for the first time...I was scared to death. Once I had gotten on and off okay, though, I started feeling strangely fine. We began to slide down the easiest run there, with my brother helping Carla....I can't remember the exact moment, but, after falling on my face a couple of times, I suddenly tried turning....and it worked. I was snowboarding!!! I wasn't GOOD, but I was doing it! I had a rhythm developed (turn, cross the hill, fall, cross the hill, turn, cross the hill, turn, fall.) It made me feel powerful.
That year, I joined the Ski club with andria. Every month of the season, we'd go up to Whister on the bus with the school. I had to use the "Family Snowboard", a crusty yellow Gnu from 1990, or something, that my brother had gotten from his friend, who got it from someone....the thing is, my brother's friend learned to Snowboard on it, and so did my brother. In turn, I learned to snowboard on it, and so did my little brother after me. It was the Gnu. The only problem was, it weighed a zillion pounds and only had one curved edge...which was pointy like a surfboard! Consiquently, it was harder to use, but it carried me with grace..if not embarrasment at it's ugliness. That year I also went up to Manning park with my family, and some friends of my brother. At the top of one of the hills, my brother's friend agreed to trade boards with me for one run. With my feet buckled into a REAL snowboard...It made some kind of a change in me...I felt incredible, and I WAS incredible...I was never better. This was when I began my ritualistic KoRn habits...but I never had an opportunity to see what would happen WITHOUT Korn.
Next Season, I received a beutiful, brand new yellow snoboard, bedecked with an image of a little cottage surrounded buy huge, waving sunflowers. I also got a pair of cute little Airwalk boots, with these weird little Carrots embroidered on the tounge. I was SOO exited when Andria and I broke onto the mountain for the first time...her with a brand new set of equippment, as well. Only, on the way up the mountain...my batteries died. Consiquently, no KoRn passed through my ears. The Day SUcked. There was a Storm going on, and it was cold and Icy and gross, and Andria's bindings were too big...you couldn't even move them back, because the straps were back as far as they could go. My brother went missing, too, and we only found him at the very end of the day. It just SUCKED. On top of it all, my beutiful, Sunflower snowboard was stolen. I cried all the way home. Was boarding dead for weener grrl?
Apparently not. For christmas, my magical family pooled their money and bought me another snowboard...It was Sunflower! They bought her for me. The next time we went up, I listened to Korn the whole way, and it was just fine.
A few trips later, we went to my Grandma's house over spring break, and when we went snowboarding the next day, I forgot my walkman. As the day began, I told my brother that the trip was probably going to suck. Well, it did. The day was a series of injuries and losses and grouchy additudes. The next trip, I made sure I had my KoRn for breakfast, and it was Magic.
I Learned my skills. I feel no fear. On skis, it was all about fear, all about proving myself. On a Snowboard, It's all about me. It's all about learning new skills and the rhythm of the mountain. It's about sliding down the mountain, going, "Knick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone," or, "All I wanna do is Kill you...". I can wander into my garadge and see Sunflower hanging quitely beneith my brother's snowboards, with Gnu waiting beneith her, patiently, for the next fresh young boarder to struggle with his ridiculous bindings for 20 minutes. Maybe, that fresh young thing will be one of my children.

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