In today's lesson we will extrapolate on a few tidbits which I continually seem to neglect.

First of all, the idea that Mr. Jesse James had anything to do with this sort of antagonistic atavism which seems to germinate inside the minds of each and every schoolboy within 100 yards seems utterly absurd ... at first ...

Yes, at first, until you begin making the connections!

First, think about certain dynamics here in Melcrow Neighborhood. I'm talking about this odd mixture of racism and wiggerism that seems to permeate in all of our spoiled children.

Doesn't it annoy you in the least? And shouldn't we obviously blame THAT on Jesse James? Doesn't that make sense?

Second, let's shatter our current conception of consciousness. Well, not really, I just want to take it a step further. Let's admit openly that when we refer to ego or id or whatever that we ACTUALLY refer to thousands if not millions of layers of consciousness which have evolved over time, and that both holes and overlap exist in this particular model.

Doesn't that have something to do with Jesse James?

Look, you can ignore me all you want. You can roll the dice with your children's lives (as dispicable as that is). But where will that get you?
-Gawby Gawkley (More Things That Jesse James Did Wrong! 3: even more things that Jesse James did wrong!)

The Altruistic Lipstick

oh no, I only want you to slide me over your lips if it's going to help you.
if pretending that i'm a pair of dice helps you, please do it
if ripping me apart, and shitting on me, is going to make you happy, go ahead, rip n shit
if it annoys you when I give you options, I'll stop.
-Dwight Lesley (Mucho Studly)

Studio Apartment

Just like the fucking studio apartment
The white man constrains me
I shoot whitey in between his dicey eyes
Bitch I make you bleed bitch
I stand tall and proud and Mexican
I shoot you in the face bitch
I see you driving down the street
listening to some stupid whitey music
I shoot you in the face bitch
I eat your monkey brains bitch
This is me eating your fucking monkey brains bitch
I'll fucking shove some dice up your ass
Fuck off bitch
I fuck you up bitch
-Willie McStellsburg (Pretending you're other races in poetry helps your soul)

What I Want From Nicole
I wanna watch you eat poo poo.
It would be enjoyable to hear about you going to Africa.
And how about the trees?
I want you to live in a tree in Africa.
I want to watch you in that tree.
I want it to be a secret.
I'll just look at you from a mountain from far away.
This kid, Bobby-oto, he'll tell me "She's over there, hurry, pull down your pants."
I'll call up Adam, Scott and Gimp ... they'll be Cacarenaing (it's like the Macarena dance but fecal) ... and I don't want that.
But I do want you, Nicole.
Do you Cacarena?
Do you eat ... anything? ... ever?
are you ... anorexic ... are you ... clever?
Are you rolling dice? Are you playing with mice? Are you taking a long look into moving to Iran?
I hope you're not.
It's not the best place to live.
Maybe Camahuiroa ... try that place instead.
-Ho Ho Bill (Things-oto)<

Like a Storm of Under-Consciousness
The under-consciousness exists in a state of utter disposition.
Here one may illustrate a sense of worried confusion simply by looking at a featureless wall.
One may have various hallucinations of varying levels of fear and nonsensical overload.
For example: I'm walking down the street and Snoop Doggy Dogg wants to step on my head.
"Stop it Snoop Doggy Dogg," I say, "Stop it."
But Snoop Doggy Dogg won't listen; he's too busy being cooly hip gangster.
funky locomotive type.
naked boy monkey face.
dice dice gene splice.
what a butt hole, dude.
-Snippy the Sassy GangBanger (Who Dat be Gangbangin mah ass?)

Some Serious Shit
This bitch be talkin some serious shit
I was like, "hey, I just wanna fuck"
but she all, "bla bla bla ... my dad beats me"
shit, dat ain't turnin' me on
I'm like, "let me stick dis dick in yo ass"
she all, "bla bla bla ... I feel fat ... I hate being naked"
what da fuck?! I don give a fuck!
I fuckn don care if you fat bitch!
I just wanna fuck yo skanky ass!
You let my friend Dan fuck you!
I wanna fuck you!
Did she say all this stupid ass shit to you Dan?
DAN - "NO. SHe JUS Be LETTIN ME NUT ALL OVER HER TITS!"
Fuckn shit! dats some unfair mothafuckn shit
"bla bla bla ... feelings ... bla bla bla ... opinions ... bla bla bla ... dice"
-Dwight Humpekun (A Little Bit of Me Goes a Long Way)

2 Much @ $tayk
gotsa a mad nigga runnin up on at ya
and u 2 stupid 2 look around - naa
gotsa a muthafuckin mad nigga capped ya
and u think? what you gonna do?
baby, i got a 4 - 5 and a dolla bill
gots da dice to roll undaneath yo pill
o - o - o
u got a hole in yo neck an da blood onf mah hands
whatya gonna do? whaya gonna go?
u best back off nigga...
best back off
u best back off nigga...
best back da fuK off
who dat? do dat? shniz dat on yo dolla dolla money face
dat is
EYE'm cumin at ya bitch , wit my diK in mah hands
gotsa get paid, and laid, bitch in my way u be stands
u be 40 did a hit on yo ass in da 90s
dey was on a trak o sounds on a sliver screen
wha u gonna do now?
huh?
-Paul S. Mudra (Kommand N' Konker)

DJ NMIMN
Hands down the best party i've ever been to.
They spinned everything.
Deep Purple - 2 Live Crew...everything.
DJ Nmimn was jammin.
He was absolutely flippin out.
I'm glad I was there - and let me tell you...
...damn I was rollin...seriously.
I must've had like...7...8...3 pills of E.
hell yah.
and people like were jammin lines of K down my nose...
and if it wasn't k it was coke or speed or dice.
It was crazy man.
Seriously, did you hear when he threw in Throbbing Gristle FAT right down in the middle of Weezer and Beck.
It was so fat...you couldn't tell he was changing tracks EVER.
I'm gonna buy his cd.
DJ Nmimn is FAT
Tommy Grant (Something's Fishy In There)

St Dayefreen
She was wholly holy
Total trinity nut
She didn't play dice with God
She listened ... 100 PERCENT
And God loved her for it ...
But what about Satan?
You'd think he hated her right?
Well you're right.
He did hate her.
Because whatever God loves ...
... Satan hates
They are polar opposites
Read The Bible someday knucklehead
Then you'll know what I'm talking about.
Now I'm going to go pray
Because God loves blowing the Earth up
And the apocalypse is just around the corner
Mathew Wendell (It's Just My Diary ... but shh ... don't tell dad)

Uggle
i wanna hug ya
but you can't slip into me anymore
they say uggle budduddle umop kadoo
dice ooglay betutle ewmep cadu
Sark Larak (Itchin' Where I'm Growin')

YimmeyYep
Jippety Jep like fly on the moon
She dun made me feel sexy like a lippity croon
oh no
oh no
it's too late for that
oh no
where you been slippin down i smak ya on da head bitch
i ain't puttn up wiff no flo from some ho wis da rubba dough
yo
break it up
break it up yo down on the flo like dat
yippety yep da dice smak yo head
again and again and again and again
shit what you gonna fuck with?
who you think i'm
nu uh
Untitled (Poems from Vermont)

A Poem For the Boys On TV
When I felt you buckle up
I felt you shut me down
When I felt you shut me up
I made myself, bear down
inside where my heart is
a bloody box of sorrow
inside where my sorrow is
a bloody heart, with your hand
your hand holding onto a knife
my heart bleeding
cuz your hand, the knife in your hand
pierced through my heart
the drops of blood
like dice rolling down an intestine
and rolling out of a body
a body you said you loved
a body you said you cared for
i can't live with this body
this body can't live without you
Maria Benitiz (Hourglass: Words From Latin America. PG. 157)

cries of a 45-year-old Dentist*
I saw the dice as they came to my office
they were the most beautiful dice I had ever seen
so smooth
so untouched
The dice clung to me like I was their father
Then we kissed
but the dice were only twelve years old
how could I have loved such young little spotty cubes
but then, just as I was about to kill them
they rolled into the arms of another
and just when I had forgotten them, they rolled right back to me
and covered me in cocaine
so I swallowed them to get rid of them once and for alll
but two days later they came back
but this time they were not so cheerful and wanted to leave
so I flushed
but I never said goodby
so here it is
goodbye dice
...
goodbye
Norman Grassland (American Dentist vol.91:234-238)

Whack Whack, Ho!*
Kaboom
Smack
I'm back on track
So if I give you money you give me a sack
So don't front
Or else I hafta crack ya
Cause you know that your homies never back ya
Cause I'm the dice man (yeah, yeah)
I ain't livin in a nice land (yeah, yeah)
I've got big spotty eyes and I don't look so nice
Don'y fuck with me cause I'm cold as...
DICE
yeah
watch your back y'all!
DICE
yeah
watch your back!
Thuggy Stylez (The Dice Age)

Oh Craaap...s*
Shit money, shit runnin outa my ass
I got the craps
Hey naps, with all the shit in your hair
shake your red skirt, take my chips over there
'Box Cars' Deuce deuce and I shake
I hate your snake
eyes starin at me
two more drinks, two more benjamins
two more craps if it keeps 'em comesins
You know what it is about which I write
I play it all day and it plays me all night
black and white, naughty and nice
you want some of this
Bitch, NO DICE!!
CrapsDaddy (Casino Thugz)